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@themalcontentedprince
Here’s a thing I have to say about good intentioned men. Even if a man trying to hang out is being 100% honest about his intentions not being romantic or sexual, even if he’s a really genuinely kind man, even if his core beliefs are pure and good and genuine, you’re STILL allowed to want nothing to do with him.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have a specific playlist for when I do my skincare routine that both reminds me to allow time to let my products sink in and forces me to experience the entire spectrum of human emotion
DROP THAT LINK SON
okay
the sex ed guide your parents didn't give you
how to put a condom on
where to get free birth control
the hymen debunked
cleaning your vibrators
how to avoid pressures
signs you may be pregnant
safe guide to anal sex
all about dental dams
disabled sexual resources
what is hiv?
feminist porn
female ejaculation
fisting 101
communication during sex
setting sexual boundaries
bdsm vs abuse
lube during sex
the clitoris
sex education games
understanding gender
what to do if your nudes were leaked
intersex
sexual consent
all about masturbation
choosing a sex toy
tips for your first time
You never really register the depth of your alienation from your physical body until you are confronted by the disquieting possibility of loving and being loved while inhabiting it.
i remember being like 11 and asking my dad why he hunts and kills deer and he said “because i think theyre beautiful” and that’s just. that’s just what men are like
Yeah… &?
Is it any different that women seeing cute things & wanting to squish their face?
Is killing different than endearing physical contact? Local man unsure
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You ever want to throw yourself at a God’s feet and sob
from the mindful self-compassion workbook by kristin neff and christopher germer
one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.
DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.
One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
WHY ARE YOU LONELY: A TEXT GAME - Mallory Ortberg
WHY ARE YOU LONELY: CHOOSE ONE
FAILED TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS BORN OUT OF CONVENIENCE ONCE CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRED ACTIVE PARTICIPATION FROM YOU
WATCHED NETFLIX FOR SEVEN HOURS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST
CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS
ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED “EMPATHY” FOR “TAKING RESPONSIBILITY” AND INVITED OTHERS TO UNLOAD THEIR EMOTIONAL BURDENS ON YOU WITHOUT FIRST ENSURING RECIPROCITY, WHOOPS
ANTICIPATORILY BLAMED OTHER PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING YOU WITHOUT ONCE ASKING YOURSELF WHY YOU CAN’T CALL THEM
ASSUMING ANY TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU HAD TO INITIATE IS SOMEHOW LESS AUTHENTIC THAN REQUESTS FOR TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU ACCEPT
BELIEVE “PERIODICALLY EXPERIENCING THE HUMAN CONDITION” MEANS SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN WITHIN YOU
CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THEN WONDER WHY YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS YOU
MISTAKENLY BELIEVE THAT NEGATIVE FEELINGS MUST BE MISTAKES EITHER TO BE AVOIDED OR FIXED RATHER THAN EXPERIENCED
DESIRE TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT THE CONCOMITANT WILLINGNESS TO FULLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF
BELIEVE TRYING AT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SHOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PERFECTION AND FIND YOURSELF HORRIFIED AND ASHAMED OF MAKING REALISTIC PROGRESS
TRY COCONUT OIL
CONVINCED THAT HONESTLY ADMITTING YOUR PROBLEMS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES COMPLAINING SO INSTEAD YOU OFFER EVERYONE A PISS-POOR SIMULACRUM OF BEING EASY-GOING
STILL JUST WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING YOUR DESIRES ALOUD
THINK YOU’RE BEING PLAYFUL BUT ACTUALLY YOU JUST GET MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK
SPEND ALL YOUR TIME SAYING THINGS LIKE “EITHER’S GOOD” OR “DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” WHEN IN FACT ONLY ONE THING IS GOOD AND IT DOES MATTER TO YOU BUT YOU THINK “NOT EXPRESSING A PREFERENCE” IS THE BEST PERSONALITY TRAIT YOU HAVE TO OFFER OTHERS
PEOPLE ACTUALLY MORE AWARE OF YOUR BARELY-CONCEALED CONTEMPT FOR THEIR CHOICES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE
NO GOOD REASON, SORRY
Mallory Ortberg plz stop laying my psyche bare for the world to see
I know this is like extremely depressing lol but when I look at people I would consider dating/marrying, 1 of the “litmus tests” I have for myself is the answer to this question: “if this marriage were to fall apart, could I see myself coparenting successfully with this person?”
There’s some people who are very petty and this is my first thought, just genuinely “if I married this person and we ended up divorcing, could I trust this person to provide our kids with a positive environment on their own/with a new partner, can I trust this person to raise these kids without trying to retailiate against me, could this person be trusted to watch out for the best interests of our children even if it included something he didn’t want to do” & let me tell u… so many people become unattractive when u get the answers to those questions
#this is good advice even if you don’t intend to have kids
important tags
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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1. The Lovers of Valdaro are a 6,000 year old Neolithic skeleton couple who were found buried together in Mantua, Italy.
They were both around 20, both 5′2, and had no physical trauma evident in their bones. They were buried with flint tools. Their limbs are entwined in an endless embrace.
2. The Hasanlu Lovers are 2,800 year skeletons found locked in an eternal kiss in Solduz Valley, Iran.
The body on its back was around 20 years old, and the other skeleton was around 30 and showed signs of injury on the right side of their body. They were found in a plaster grain bin, most likely hiding from soldiers in a raid, and asphyxiated during this time.
read books ... read books ... go to your local library ... go to your local library ... read books ... read books ... there’s so many websites where you can download books so there’s no excuse at all, like, just read books and stop being willfully stupid.
How do you fall back in love with life?
clean your room. clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. clean the dishes. sweep. take out the trash. peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. take a long shower. scrub behind your knees. brush your teeth. (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while. fuck moleskins. the yellow legal pad will work fine. sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. count clouds. describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. sketch the cracks in the walls. note the shape light makes when it enters a space. talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. what sounds are there? even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. your world is fathomless. it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed. it does not need to be fancy. buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. eat it outside. if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. take your fucking meds. remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor. take care of it.
read a novel. underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. read a novel like it’s poetry. read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. watch a movie you haven’t seen before. if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. take your time. let yourself bask. if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. the love has no obligation. it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. you are not a burden. if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. when they need you, listen and be gracious. always be gracious. the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. listen to something that you don’t usually listen to. we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. we are falling in love again. the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. press flowers in old books. play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. dance in your room. wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public. write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. write poetry, even awful poetry. revel in its awfulness. eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.
I tell everyone this and I mean it. Buy a journal. Carry it with you everywhere you go. And I mean everywhere. Write about your favorite moments, your least favorite moments, ideas, grocery lists, people you’ve met, strangers you’ve walked past on the street, favorite quotes, words to remember, what the sky looked like at 7pm, new songs you’ve discovered and what they mean to you, your childhood, places you want to go or places you’ve been, write about your passions, how you feel in this exact moment, draw out the mountains, scribble all over the pages. And when that one gets full, buy a new one. Reread it in 2 years, 20 years, when you need a good laugh, when you’re crying on your bathroom floor, read it to your children. You need to remember these moments in your life. They are so important.
Needed this. Thank you!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
start working out now. make that hair dresser appointment now. let your next meal be the healthiest you’ve ever eaten. move the furniture in your room right now. text that old friend or crush. make a new playlist. go on a run. open a window. it doesn’t matter what you do, no matter how big or small change is; change is change. and it will always, always, always help you to turn your life around and clear your head. it gives you that boost, that confidence to be a better version of yourself, no matter the impact it has.
I want a home mostly just to welcome people into it. There will be bowls of candy for guests, and the cookie jar is full. I’ll always say “I was just about to make a coffee/tea/cocoa, would you like one?” when somebody walks in. There’s lemonade and iced tea made fresh on hot days. Once it hits That Hour and they start saying they really should be going, I’ll remind them that the futon is always open, and I’m making cinnamon rolls tomorrow. There’s champagne and sparkling juice hidden on a high shelf just in case somebody announces their engagement or their pregnancy or their new job while they’re here. There is an extra chair in the living room, at the table, and on the deck, and it’s for you. I want to be able to say “if you’re ever in trouble, come to me.”
