forever, love.

"He was my first long relationship. We were together for two years. Everyone before that had just been a couple of months or casual romances. And I was really okay with all those. He was the first person that made me feel like, wow, I just want to be with him. And I just want him to want me. I had that before but it was definitely lust. With this guy it was that I appreciated him. I loved the way he was there for me." 

"We decided to be in an open relationship so he could find a woman who wanted marriage and kids… And when he started dating someone, because I’d agreed to it and had full knowledge of it, I thought that I was able and ready to handle it. I just wasn’t. I felt so betrayed, because I think when I agreed I didn’t really believe that he would do it. I thought that he loved me and he was just blowing steam. So that he actually found space to love someone else really hurt. I underestimated him." 

"I learned that I have a habit of considering myself in control. But I’m never really in control. I know that we’re the creators of our own story, of our own destiny, but it doesn’t mean that you’re in control. I think what really hurt me, one of the biggest parts that hurt me, was having that perception shifted. It was so nice to be the God in that world. And to find out that I wasn’t, that I was just in it, and not the God of it, it was shattering. And really humbling."