technical theatre

It’s closing night

I was a stage manager for a midsummer night’s dream

It was wonderful

So my world has been falling apart

But also repatching

But then falling apart

I’ve gone out almost every single night

My brother has schizophrenia I don’t know how to deal with it or process it

My boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch

I don’t really have any good girlfriends anymore, but I’ve been adopted by two senior girls who I think I would have exploded if they didn’t

I just woke up this morning not feeling like myself and everything just broke around it

I dislike this girl who I think is trying to get with my boyfriend, like they hung out together tonight (with two other boys,) and he didn’t tell me she went, which was DUMB, and I’m scared that’s she’s “the girl I shouldn’t worry about” and if we end up breaking up, two weeks later im scared they’ll end together

And I’m fucking terrified

But i trust my boyfriend, I trust him, so I am letting it go because he says there’s nothing to worry about

So ive decided I’m going to have a good summer

but being at home really sucks

I can’t stand it because it’s always about my brother, and it’s like walking around on fucking eggshells

They started talking about my dad and I broke down in my kitchen while eating Panda Express, if that isn’t a new low idk what is

I’m sort of sad but also incredibly happy

I don’t know

Also I wish my boyfriend would act more like a boyfriend, and call me pretty when I post things on Instagram or even in person,

I’m all over the place

The last 2 months of my life have been insane

I am a thespian

I am a OFFICER of my troupe

I have a boyfriend

I have a fantastic group of friends

I’m happy

Almost entirely happy with everything in my life

But I am so, so fucking grateful for all that I’ve been given

so cinderella closed Saturday night

it’s very bitter sweet

I’m going to miss having something to do everyday after school though

so opening week went really really well!! Two boys are interested in me, of course not the one ive been in love with for the last year, but were trying to move on to things that are right in front of me!!

next week is closing week, and the seniors last few shows which is going to break my heart, because i am friends with so many of them and i love them and they are just going to leave just like that

i will miss one of them more then the rest

ill be heartbroken when they go off to college in August

it’s going to suck ass

itts opening night

everything is actually going very smooth

my mom is coming tonight!

HAHA WE OPEN TWO WEEKS FROM TOMORROW

CINDERELLA’S HOUSE HAS BARELY BEEN STARTED AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA

tech week is next week

im scared

EXCEPT WE BUILT A WHOLEASS FIRE PLACE AND IM SO PROUD

also I am realizing how messy our department is

crew head applications were due in January, my director still hasn’t picked heads

Also running crew apps aren’t out

shit has been really really rough lately

but i went to a group therapy session Friday night, and had a fun day yesterday, so i think things might be looking up soon, my fingers are crossed

also i think a boy might be interested in me !!!!

they changed the font and it’s weird

I sort of hate it

also

im so over it in my department lmao, all of the other sophomore techs i think hate me now because i didn’t invite them to something which wasn’t intentional and i cried in the bathroom over it which makes me angry because i never cry, I don’t like crying I don’t cry in front of others it makes me feel rotten

we open in 38 days? we haven’t started on two of our sets

there’s no leadership in my department lmao

im so stressed already

but being a TD is fun

my other TD is a pain in my ass

one of my SM’s is really rotten

we’re doing soooooo great in this department wow

that girl who slept through all her cues is a “TD in training,” and that is such bullshit because she came to rehearsal today, and I didn’t get to do that last semester and I’m fucking PISSED

Im talking to my director tomorrow and being like dude what the FUCK

hey happy new year!!!

i hope your year is getting off to a great start, I went to Sedona on Thursday which was super rad and I got to touch some snow!!

i threw up all last night and thought to myself ‘lol i should get back on tumblr,’ so here I am

monday i go back to school and rehearsals for Cinderella start Tuesday (i think,) and I’m very excited to be a technical director, I’ve been waiting for this all of break!!

a few seniors in my department are only complaining about it because they think nothing is going to get done, but they are the type of people who complain about things not getting done, and they don’t work on it? so that is annoying

we’re doing 3, maybe 4, rolling sets for this show and I couldn’t be more excited :)))

ive been gone for a while, very busy

finals were so rough, and we had auditions for Cinderella

Our Cinderella is a junior and our prince is a sophomore,

I’m telling you the underclassmen are taking over and it’s terrifying

things have been kinda bad lately, with family, but yesterday i went out with my friends all day and it was the best i felt since callbacks,

i go back to school the 7th, and i can get my permit that day, and that’s my last day of pure freedoms until spring break lol

also heyo I have 14 followers

as of today

I am a technical director for the musical Cinderella at our high school

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I HAVE REALIZED I DESPISE SO MANY PEOPLE BECAUSE I AM SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO WORK

this girl

applied for technical Director

and the last show we did, she slept through half of it, and missed almost all of her cues

and she applied

FOR TECHNICAL FUCKING DIRECTOR

i think tomorrow we will find out who gets what and who gets cut