Selfless vague.

It’s so fucked up how tiktok culture has made clout-poisoned people turn the public into content, every day I see people minding their business have their entire faces put online for thousands of likes, a couple kissing on the train, a lady dancing across a cross walk, a guy nodding his head to the music at a club, a lady buying a banana at the store, ring camera footage of the neighbors kids being stupid. Just let people live jfc

something inside me has given up. i always at least tried to look happy, now i don’t bother faking a smile. talking wears me out in a way i can’t even explain. things that brought me joy now are things that i don’t have the energy for. i’m hurting people i genuinely love by ignoring every single message i receive. i‘m disappointing everyone including myself. getting out of bed is torture i avoid at all costs. i’m spending my days waiting for them to pass and let my thoughts consume me at night. how is life supposed to get any better when i don’t care about anything anymore?

I don’t have much fight left in me

I feel completely dead inside right now. Not just dead inside in the sense of having no emotions, but dead inside in a way that seems like my entire mind body and soul have given up. I feel like I’ve been fighting so much and for so long and I simply don’t have the energy or motivation or hope or willpower to carry on. Frankly right now I couldn’t even kill myself because I simply can’t be bothered. It feels like every spark I had has gone out and all I want to do is stare out the window or sleep.