TheHiddenLight

Patient: I threw up 4 gallons of blood

It’s not for you.

“Why would anyone get a hairdryer holder, just use your hands to hold it.”

It’s not for you.

“Portable collapsible stools are proof of how lazy this generation is getting.”

It’s not for you.

“A chord assist for a guitar? Why don’t people just use their fingers like everyone else?”

IT’S NOT FOR YOU.

Fun fact! Not everything is about or for you!

happy pride month 🩷 had to draw this scene as it canonically happened…

So now imagine that before Ford spent all his money on building the portal, he was a millionaire—or close to it. Having sold inventions and patents to the government, the military, and other companies, as well as successfully publishing some research on non-anomalous stuff.

He’s doing well for himself, but he doesn’t think much about the money. Because Ford never really cared about being rich so much as he cared about being respected and famous in his field as a scientist. He’s in it for the love of the game, not profit. No one would even know he’s rich just by looking at him; he’s content with the setup he has in Gravity Falls.

And imagine in this AU, that Ford and Stan meet again like this. Someway, somehow, they see each other. Ford is bright eyed and happy and doing well for himself. Stan is… still running unsuccessful scams, and running slightly more successful crimes.

Stan finds out that Ford is a millionaire, and it rankles him so badly. Here he was trying his hardest to make millions, to make his family rue the day they threw him out like trash, and he’s gotten nowhere on that. And here comes Ford, not even caring about the fact that he’s casually made a million dollars. Just using the money to further his own research.

@dark-lord-of-awesomeness millionaire Ford who invites Stan to a fundraising gala being hosted by some of the most prestigious universities in the country. Ford was invited as a guest speaker, having become very well known in the science fields. He gets a second ticket to bring a guest with him, and wants Stan to come.

He asks the next time Stan calls him, having to wait because it seems he’s misplaced Stan’s phone number (Stan doesn’t have one and never gave him one). He makes a mental reminder to ask Stan for it again, not thinking too hard about the fact that he’s never actually called Stan and always relies on Stan calling him.

Stan agrees to go (hey the ticket is free this time), and Ford says, “that’s great! Shall we take your limo?”

Stan: my what?

Ford: your limo? Sorry, I assumed you had one. You know I don’t bother with fancy things like that, but I know you enjoy them. Not a big deal though, I can always rent us a limo if you—

Stan: no, no! I have one. Of course I have one. Haha. Why wouldn’t I have a limo? Yeah, for sure. We’ll, uhh. Take my limo I totally have. I’ll pick you up.

Ford: excellent! I’ll see you then! :)

Stan gets off the phone with Ford and screams into his hands in the pay phone booth because aggggghhh why did he say that?! Now he has to find a way to get a limo in time for the gala. A limo he definitely doesn’t have and can’t afford, considering he’s living out of his car.

But there’s no way he’s going to tell Ford that. No way. They’ve just started mending their relationship and Stan isn’t going to let something pesky like being broke get in the way. He told Ford he’d bring a limo, and he’s going to bring a limo.