Trust is a Weapon

“You, uh... you wanna talk about it?”

“Yes...”

❛ i don’t know what i’m doing with my life, but i know i’m doing it wrong ❜ ❛ i am so cute and bitter ❜ ❛ my life is one part ‘wait’ and another part ‘what’ ❜ ❛ my #1 talent is saying stupid things to people and immediately regretting it ❜ ❛ i love sleeping to avoid problems ❜ ❛ i hate myself a lot but i get offended when other people do ❜ ❛ i’m hungrier than the neopet i neglected for nine years ❜ ❛ hit me up if you wanna date a piece of shit ❜ ❛ we need some new and more powerful swears ❜ ❛ i get progressively uglier throughout the day ❜ ❛ i’m so miserable, but i laugh at everything ❜ ❛ i need something that is more than coffee, but less than cocaine ❜ ❛ just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. it’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot. ❜ ❛ 90 out of 10 people agree that math is fucking lame ❜ ❛ if you think i’m ugly now, you should have seen me in 2009 ❜ ❛ 2010 me would literally be terrified of 2016 me and i love it ❜ ❛ i have a rare skin condition called close the fucking blinds ❜ ❛ hey babe, i made you this mixtape for valentines day. i don’t know many love songs, so it’s just uptown funk 18 times in a row. ❜ ❛ there are people who know me in real life who think i’m straight and that’s really funny to me ❜ ❛ i was cursed with expensive taste and a low budget ❜ ❛ yo dude i trusted you wtf the fuck? what the fuck?? what the fuck what the ❜ ❛ open flannel shirts and lingerie are the hottest thing and nobody can convince me otherwise ❜ ❛ i’m the weird dad, wine mom, vodka aunt, and gay emo cousin all in one person ❜ ❛ that awful moment when you wake up ❜ ❛ damn haha i’m going to have to deal with that sooner or later ❜ ❛ are we gonna fucking hold hands tonight or what bitch ❜ ❛ people our age have children what the hell i am a children ❜ ❛ i don’t like your clothes. take them off. ❜ ❛ why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 4 am? ❜ ❛ after i die, i’ll probably still complain ❜ ❛ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel ❜ ❛ if i don’t insult you daily, it means i don’t like you ❜ ❛ do something with your life that would make a 1950s straight white man angry ❜ ❛ i need to get laid… to rest. put me in a coffin. let my soul ascend. ❜ ❛ i’m trying to be a better person, but some people are testing me ❜ ❛ i’m overstressed and underfucked ❜ ❛ i can’t wait to be a piece of shit with a bachelors degree ❜ ❛ my emo phase never went away, it just aged like fine wine ❜ ❛ my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment ❜ ❛ i don’t have time for people who don’t believe in aliens ❜ ❛ the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting ❜ ❛ why do good concert tickets happen to bad people ❜ ❛ i can’t play hard to get i’m already hard to want ❜ ❛ i’m still pissed off about growing up ❜ ❛ if you listen carefully, you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜ ❛ when i die i want my heart donated to NASA so they can finally see what a black hole looks like up close ❜ ❛ single and ready to take a 20 hour nap ❜ ❛ write ‘nothing is set in stone’ on my grave as both a witty joke and a subtle warning that i will be back ❜ ❛ how do people even put up with me like i can’t even put up with me ❜ ❛ the opening riff to mr. brightside could literally raise me from the dead ❜ ❛ stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical  ❜ ❛ sorry, i’m poor. i can’t afford to pay attention ❜ ❛ aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall ❜ ❛ is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep? ❜ ❛ my neutral expression makes me look like i’m always in a bad mood which is convenient because it’s usually true ❜ ❛ i never run voluntarily so if you ever see me running you should start running too because something is coming ❜

Made for basebook, basebook organically farmed :D

“That’s a very cool semblance you’ve got there, kiddo.” He said, sitting fully upright and rubbing the back of his head. Ow. “Is your dad also a medical doctor, or does he look at just aura?”

“Do you have your uh... your Hunstman license?”

A Group Where We Give Only Bad Advice

i will refer to you as “my friend” to other people if we’ve talked more than twice

I’m always a slut for taiqrow

Rvb: ZERO is now 300% better

“Hi Theo. My name is Qrow.” He offered the boy a quick smile. “I’m a Huntsman. You know what that is, right?”

“Hardening and... and mani...manifestation!” He stumbled, but caught up. “My dad researches Aura and my mom is... um. Was. A huntress.” He quieted, his weapon vanishing. “Um. Yeah. And my sister! She’s also a huntress.” He nodded. His sister he could understand. But a woman he’d never met? It just confused him. “My brothers aren’t as strong, so they just help dad with research.”

“Who’re you?” he asked, trying to distract himself from the pain.

“Oh!” Right! He was asked a question. “Theo! My name’s Theo.”

“  you  mock  my  pain!  ”  “  life  is  pain.  ” “  he’s  only  mostly  dead.  ” “  i’m on  the  brute  squad.  ” “  you  are  the  brute  squad.  ” “  prepare  to  die.  ” “  we’ll  never  survive.  ” “  nonsense.  you’re  only  saying  that  because  no  one  ever  has.  ” “  who  are  you?  ” “  get  used  to  disappointment.  ” “  you  keep  using  that  word.  i  do  not  think  it  means  what  you  think  it  means.  ” “  i’ll  use  small  words  so  that  you’ll  be  sure  to  understand,  you  warthog  faced  buffoon.  ” “  that  may  be  the  first  time  in  my  life  a  man  dared  insult  me.  ” “  drop.  your.  sword.  ” “  shut  up!!  ”   “  you’ve  made  your  decision  then?  ” “  i  bet  my  life  on  it!  ” “  truly,  you  have  dizzying  intellect.  ” “  you’re  just  stalling  now.  ” “  you  guessed  wrong.  ” “  enough  of  that.  ”  “  surrender.  ” “  you  mean  you  wish  to  surrender  to  me?  very  well,  i  accept.  ” “  i  hate  waiting.  ” “  morons.  ” “  you  are  wonderful.  ” “  you  seem  a  decent  fellow,  i  hate  to  kill   you.  ” “  why  are  you  smiling?  ” “  because  i  know  something  you  don’t  know.  ” “  goodnight.  good  work.  i’ll  most  likely  kill  you  in  the  morning.  ” “  oh,  there’s  something  i  ought  to  tell  you.  ” “  think  it’ll  work?  ” “  it  would  take  miracle.  ” “  hear  this  now —  i  will  always  come  for  you.  ” “  this  is  true  love,  you  think  this  happens  every  day?  ” “  death  cannot  stop  true  love.  ” “  i  died  that  day.  ” “  we  may  as  well  die  here.  ” “  he’s  dead.  he  can’t  talk.  ”   “  as  you  wish.  ”   “  why  didn’t  you  wait  for  me?  ”   “  you  can  die  slowly,  cut  into  a  thousand  pieces.  ” “  you  killed  my  love.  ” “  it’s  possible. i  kill  a  lot  of  people.  ”   “  yes,  you’re  very  smart.  shut  up.  ”   “  you’ve  been  mostly-dead  all  day.  ”  “  inconceivable!!  ”  “  let  me  explain.  ”   “  your vote of confidence is overwhelming.  ” “  what  hideous  sin  have  you  committed  lately?  ” “  will  you  ever  forgive  me?  ” “  there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours.  ”  

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Does Jen Brown know I'd die for her? 😭

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