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"It's not my fault you're all muscle. And probably have bricks in your pants or something."
By contrast, he is not moving.
"Ar-" Mm. Stop that train of thought right there. She was about to ask if he was suggesting she shits bricks, but that leads to the insinuation that she shit herself, and- yeah, that's... Not the kind of humor she finds worth following.
"My legs weren't even involved in this conversation."
Grif took his lighter out of his pocket, so that he had something to fidget with. "I did go to college before I got drafted. I was majoring in philosophy specifically because it was a useless degree and it would piss off my step-dad. Doubt I would have done anything with it if I actually finished that damn program.
"I'd probably end up a line cook at some greasy diner. I remember having some fun working in the kitchen."
"As long as you had fun with it. I'm pretty sure I'd burn myself out in less than a decade; it's just how I am." She put her all into everything she did; doing something just for the fun of it was... Hard, for her. It's part of why she deliberately opted to mess with people; it's a low commitment activity to kind of force herself to accept that not everything needs two hundred percent of her functionality.
"I've always needed somebody to be a balancing force for me. To put a hand on my shoulder, so to speak, and tell me I've done enough." And the last person willing to do that, earnestly, who could still compete with her on the same field, she'd gone and kicked up an elevator shaft in a crashing ship. Fortunately, she didn't feel the need to say that part out loud; things always seemed to go back to that, when she thought of a more peaceful reality. Like, in her head, she'd conflated a more peaceful reality with that particular relationship; it was dramatically overblown, too- they never really got the chance to know each other. Not in depth. Not with how busy the Project was, and her own stubborn determination to not be caught dating a colleague.
"... I'm not sure what burnout in that world would look like, but I know that version of me would figure it out fast."
He waved finger guns in her direction, "And that's why I never wanted to aspire to actually being an officer. Captain is already too high on the chain of command." At least the Rebels were in dire enough straits that the office side of being an officer wasn't a priority.
It was bad enough knowing that Gold Squad's lives depended on him. Admin would feel like an enormous waste of time.
"What would your day job have been in this other world?"
"I'm pretty sure they weren't even sure what rank to give you and threw Captain out because it sounded good and would get people to listen." Because her entire career had ended at 'Captain' and she'd been responsible for a hell of a lot more as a Captain than they ever had. Chorus was a little... Loose with the rules, anyway. Honestly, after the population had degraded as much as it had, the rules didn't really work anymore.
"... I had a couple different paths open to me. I think... I would have tried to make it in entertainment, and, failing that, gone back to school for an Engineering degree. Or Physics. Maybe Logistics? I never really fell in love with any of that; I was good at it, but it wasn't a passion." She'd always had kind of an instinct with that kind of thing; it came naturally to her, and that's why she'd pushed into studying it. Still, it wasn't something that brought her joy, necessarily.
"What about you?"

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Now they were drifting back into the realm of science fiction. He could work with that. "God, could you imagine that universe's Sarge working a corporate job? Answering emails, and... I actually have no fucking clue what an office job does besides 'email' and 'meetings that could have been emails.'"
A horrible life, really. Faced with that eternity, Grif was pretty sure signing back up for an existential war against aliens was the better gig.
"If it's anything like being an officer, it's a lot of organization and quietly wondering how the people around you can continue to lower your bar for what the average human intelligence is. Yes, the meetings could have been an email, but some people don't know how to read, and a meeting sure beats chasing everybody down individually to make sure they heard what's going on." She was so happy she got to work in the field more than many of her fellow officers; the whole thing was a headache, at best.
"When you're on the organizational side of things, you start to learn the purpose of some of the more... Decidedly aggressive military traditions."
"Well, it's working. Can you get off me now? Before my spine collapses in on itself?"
Well, that was probably pretty close to admitting defeat, right? Clearly, Church didn't have the energy to put up much of a fight as he usually did.
Oh thank god. She sat up, possibly a little too fast, head swimming with the sudden shift; it took her a moment to actually say anything again.
"I thought your spine was sturdier than that. Poor, fragile thing."
"As fucked as it is to say it, the Sim Trooper program probably had a bigger effect on the War than we realize. It got dumb assholes like me off the battlefield." Lives were certainly saved by removing battle-addled old men like Sarge from the fight, or innocent dumbasses like Donut.
He couldn't offer Carolina any solace beyond that. Whatever the actual goals of Freelancer had been, it was clear they'd been abandoned by the time that Grif got involved.
"Also, don't go and suggest alternate universes. That's a surefire way to summon a whole fuckass Rick and Morty-style adventure through the multiverse."
It really didn't matter whether she agreed to that or not, honestly. The fact of the matter is, what's done was done; they can't really go back and change that, now can they? But she would sit with the thought for a moment, gaze now to the floor, hands folded in her lap, almost as if out of some weird kind of respect.
"Hey, who knows- maybe there's a universe where I have a house, a cat, and a screened in back patio where I can sit wine-drunk with a good book in silence where people wouldn't bother me." Sounded really good about now, honestly. It also sounded like she'd lose her mind if that was her every day; had to have a good running trail, too; maybe a basic home gym? Something to keep her moving, right? Maybe having people to bother her was a good thing, actually, now that she thought about it, but oh well.
"Then why are you down here?" Church grumbled, turning his head to rest his cheek on the grass and able to speak more clearly. "Gonna get bugs in your hair."
He, personally, wasn't super worried about allergens, for obvious reasons, though bugs might be annoying. Maybe.
"It's just been one of those days."
"Because I'm here to bug you." Bu-dun-tss. "But also because I want to make sure you don't fall asleep out here. Who knows what the elements will do to your delicate skin."
Her head actually was starting to feel a little sore from this, but she's still stubborn as hell, so she'll tolerate that for just a bit longer. Just until he admits being annoyed and she can claim victory.
His awareness of her presence clearly didn't prompt much of a response until Carolina was draped over him like the world's heaviest towel. There was a muffled 'oof,' an annoyed wiggle as he tried to get comfortable, because embracing defeat and going limp once more.
That did leave her with her head uncomfortably upside-down, pressed firmly into the grass- not really the ideal position- but she wasn't about to admit defeat five seconds into her attack.
"Most people nap where bugs won't crawl on them." Or allergens wouldn't dig into their skin, or... Any number of other things, really; just... Generally, an unpleasant experience all around, on the ground there.
"But I suppose if you're hurting for a friend that badly..."

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"That's a very flowery way to say that Freelancer wasn't super picky when it came to who they hired," Grif snorted. "That certainly explains some of the stories I'd heard from other bases." He was mostly thinking of Rat's Nest when he and Simmons had briefly been transferred out. The Freelancer who'd actually used the Sim Troopers for training had certainly left an impression.
"For m-" He coughed to try and cover his almost admission. "I'm honestly not sure how many people realized that we were in a Reject Squad. The stupid Red bootcamp where I met Simmons took itself so goddamn seriously. And unlike the real army, the shit they let me get away with was endless.
"Probably because we were mostly sentient training dummies."
"I would argue that they were exceptionally picky. Just with... Nonstandard criteria." But she got what he was saying, at least.
"If they don't take themselves seriously, nobody they're working with will take it seriously. It... Sucks, don't get me wrong, but... For the purposes they were using you guys for, it makes sense." Just because the practice was fucked up didn't mean she couldn't see the logic in it.
"Is it bad that a part of me wonders what a universe where all of it actually meant something to the war effort would be like?" That's why she'd signed up, after all- was to make a difference. How cruel of fate, then, to have only given her that opportunity after a decade of denial, and in a completely different form. A boon, in a way, but... She wished she could actually contribute to the fight that had taken her mother away. Hit them back, in a way that mattered.
"... I don't know if that world would be better or worse. Better, that all of this actually did something, or worse, because for some people, that would justify it." The ends don't justify the means- but to a lot of people, they did.
"Ugh..."
Church is clearly done with the day, judging by how he's just... laying face down in the grass. And grumbling incoherently to himself.
Carolina could ask him what's bothering him, but she has a feeling she'll hear what it is anyway, so she may as well have a little fun, carefully lining up to sit on the ground next to where he was laying before, provided he didn't react, flopping backwards across his own back. Not at all comfortable, mind, but any opportunity to bug Church is a win in her books.
If Grif had his druthers, that part of his life would stay a black box in history. There were not many things that he felt shame over, especially not now, but his disastrous first real deployment still corrosively ate at him. It was a demon that he refused to try and excise; he hadn't earned that yet. Perhaps he wouldn't ever.
"Simmons and I got access to the Sim Trooper files once. It kinda seemed like the Sim Trooper program was where the UNSC shipped their undesirables and riffraff. People who make bad canon fodder. Same technique for opposite ends of the competency spectrum."
Grif eyed Carolina, wondering if she had also been on a second or third last chance before she'd been sucked into Freelancer. That didn't seem likely, given what he knew of her. But then again, the UNSC during the middle of the war didn't seem like they'd pass up a fantastic soldier for simple nepotism.
He unfortunately would probably not know the answer. If he wasn't going to talk about his own past, he had no business asking her.
Carolina's no fool; she knows the question's there. What did she do? She knew that the Reds and Blues (rightfully) saw the freelancers with a healthy dose of skepticism, to put it mildly, and she liked to think she'd more or less won them over- though there was definitely still some friction there.
That said, there was a hell of a lot about the structure of the UNSC that she wasn't entirely sure he knew in detail that she'd have to really lay out before that story could be told in too much detail- and technically she wasn't allowed to talk about it. That... Wasn't really going to stop her, honestly, as long as she didn't take it to the news or something and get ONI involved. Summarizing it... Hm.
"... I think many of the freelancers were people who made difficult calls in impossible situations. People- sometimes civilians- died for it. There was controversy, public outcry in a few cases... From what I know, and I don't know much, it was mostly exceptional people making impossible decisions. I think... The project was looking for people willing and able to make those impossible calls, for their freelancers. A couple of us murdered 'in cold blood' to stand for our beliefs." See: Wash.
"It was... Conviction, determination, and a willingness to do the 'worst' for the sake of our cause." You give those people just the right amount of misinformation, save them from an impossible situation, and suddenly you get the Suicide Squad Project Freelancer.
"What, special forces?" York didn't know everything about the UNSC's dirty laundry, but he wasn't naive, either. He knew they sent in specialist teams to deal with dissenters and terrorists. Sometimes justified.... sometimes not so much. They were notoriously heavy-handed.
"Don't I know it. Pretty sure the only reason either side of the Insurrection played nice was because the Covenant was about as universal of an enemy as you could ask for." Funny how only something as nasty as the threat of complete genocide could get them all to work together.
York chuckled, shrugging with the shoulder that he wasn't currently using to support himself against the wall. "I already went AWOL and faked my own death. Not exactly concerned about what the military thinks of me anymore."
"Mmm. Just because they acted up less during the war doesn't mean they didn't act up at all. I'm pretty sure a lot of it just wasn't televised as much - there were more important things to put on the news, and giving dissenters the time of day just encouraged anybody sympathetic to the cause. That was my job; cleanup duty. The dead can't defend themselves, so any collateral just got pinned on them; wrapped it all up neat and tidy, in a little bow." And she'd swallowed that propaganda pill hard. Turns out, she's pretty naive about that kind of thing- she wants to believe that the people she's with are doing the right thing- fell for it time and time again.
"Probably why I was so desensitized to how... Extreme some of the measures taken by the project were." Like using an orbital cannon to take out a hundred and ten story building. Even if the whole building is full of enemies, that can mess up the whole city; just the debris and smoke can kill civilians.
"... I'm just worried; I'm pretty sure going against the UNSC when they have this much time to prepare is... Impossible, to put it nicely."
For once, Grif seemed not to have anything ready to say. He opened his mouth and quickly closed it with a hum. Reluctantly, he said. "I... might have had one deployment before I got shuffled into the Sim Trooper program. It... went badly.
"I think Tucker almost got deployed and ended up with a disciplinary for pretending to be medical staff. Some shit like that."
Carolina spent a long moment- almost awkwardly long- quiet, turning what he said, and how he said it, over in her mind, before ultimately opting to, for the most part, not press the matter, except to properly turn her gaze back his way, as if appraising him momentarily, before, for the first time this conversation, taking a somewhat heavy seat. If he wanted to talk about it, he would, but she got the impression that he didn't. She might flag it for later, though- She had a feeling he would need to talk about it, eventually. Just maybe not right now.
"I'm pretty sure every single Freelancer also has a story. From before they were folded into the project, that is. I think... People tend to be less likely to question what's going on, when they think where they're at is their second chance, or... Better than they deserve, in some cases." There was a, in retrospect eerily familiar, thought, at least early on- that the project had given them everything. Another chance, a chance to matter, to be impactful... And an escape from the consequences of some specific decision. It hadn't been enough to keep them cohesive- not forever- but it had gone a hell of a long way.
Regardless of how heavily Grif carried his own burden, this gave him an out to not have to talk about it, if he didn't want to. Lina just hadn't really considered before that the same manipulation that worked on several of the freelancers might have been employed against the Sim Troopers, and... She kind of wondered how much of that had been the role of the Counselor, specifically- but that was a preponderance for a different time.

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"Sarge is one of the few people I've met who's more or less exactly what he says he is on the tin." Grif shrugged. "He's a crazy old redneck who's been in the army too long." Even though he was rolling his eyes, and had his mouth pulled down into a disapproving frown, there was a note of fondness in his voice.
They were Reds, after all, and Sarge was always there for his squad.
"He's like if you rolled every movie boot camp sergeant into one."
"... Am I mistaken in my assumption that he's the only person amongst you that has military experience prior to Blood Gulch?" A roundabout way of asking if Grif did, actually, but hey- she's still learning, and these assholes are weirdly stubborn about what they will and won't talk about.
"Well, call me an optimist, but I'm hoping we can pick up where we left off... on your own time."
Optimist York may have been, but he was also a realist. They had been away from each other for years, and both had thought the other was dead for most of that. Picking up from where they left off was probably unrealistic, to say the least.
"It's just nice to be somewhere with a familiar face, at the end of the day. I wouldn't mind staying here, especially if these people run into trouble again."
"They almost certainly will. They're actively resisting UNSC governance; I know the people that get sent in in situations like this. Used to be one of them." Pushing off the wall she was leaning on, she shrugged, glancing around for a place to sit.
"Once you're deemed an insurrectionist, you're seen as just as much of a threat as the Covies. Have to be united, you know? Old habits die hard; I don't imagine that touch has softened since the end of the war." But they'd stayed their hand for a while- Either they had, in fact, softened that stance, or Kimball was a hell of a negotiator. Or... They were waiting for something. Perhaps the fact that everybody in the galaxy knew about Chorus now put the UNSC in a more difficult position; they might just be waiting for the media buzz to die down.
"You think you're ready to actively defy the UNSC?"