Life Is... Life

Would you stop judging girls who wear leggings as pants!

They are COMFORTABLE & they fit. Do you know how agonizing it is to try on ten pairs of jeans and have them all be too small on you? Leggings are easy. Black. Simple. Comfy. I don’t wear leggings so my ass will look good. And if my ass does look good then, yay, good for my ass… I really couldn’t care less. I am so fed up with everyone hating on leggings. LEAVE LEGGINGS ALONE THEY ARE SOFT AND EASY AND WONDERFUL. 

How January 2 feels.

OKAY GUYS LISTEN UP STOP SCROLLING AND SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN ON THE GROUND ESPECIALLY IF YOU’VE BEEN READING /ANYTHING/ ABOUT LEELAH ALCORN AND HER STORY BECAUSE GODDAMN IF THIS ISN’T JUST AS IMPORTANT. 

Okay have I got your attention? Fabulous. Now don’t think me to be comparing issues with issues I’m simply using the recent media uproar to get some much needed attention on a problem very close to my heart.

This gorgeous flower child of a boy above is my friend Rocky. He is, if you haven’t guessed it yet, Transgender. A while ago I reblogged a post from one of his other close friends asking for donations and help in getting out of his house due to the situation he’s in at home with his parents; examples including their refusal to acknowledge his being Trans, as well as several other points I will get to later following the last post. 

Recently I’ve found out that the post was taken down because his parents managed to locate it, and even went so far as to threaten his friend in saying they want to sue him for libel or slander. They’ve also since been refusing to let Rocky use the internet, changing the the password three times a month and locking him out of the network so he cant talk to anyone. Now that might not seem like much, yeah, no internet big whoop. But they’ve also been making efforts to isolate him from everyone and everything.  From my talkings with him I’ve gathered these stories;

"like. i slept over at a friends house on new years right?? well when i came home my stepdad pushed me on the ground and my mom called the police on me and told them i was doing drugs and assaulting my family members (????) and then went outside to the car that dropped me off and started screaming about how im mentally ill and i steal and lie and when they tried to drive away she screamed at them and took pictures of their license plate"

"my aunt was staying over for christmas break and when she found out i was trans and that rory is trans she went into my room and shut the door and started screaming at me and calling me an it, and then when i told her i wasnt going to listen to her if she was going to be disrespectful she screamed "IT" in my face and slammed the door"

"also i found out yesterday when i was in the deli that they went through my wallet and took my debit card"

The list continues but I think that’s enough that you can gather my point. I can’t help personally feeling liable for Rocky’s health because I had a huge hand in him coming out with himself and consequently his parents. It has been made very clear to me and hopefully to you as well that his parents are having a dangerous affect on his health and welbeing, as well as just being dangerous full stop. He’s too terrified to call the police in case nothing happens and he has jack all enough to get out of this toxic living environment permanently and get somewhere safe. 

Due to his now lacking a debit card and inability to get on his tumblr, donations are difficult. Until he can access a new debit card and a reliable Wifi connection, we’ve decided to let me take hold of the transactions and get the money to him ASAP. 

So here’s the gritty stuff.

He needs around 200USD minimum for train tickets and food so he can get somewhere safe and away from his parents until we figure out a more secure option.

Go to my blog and click the little donation pup in my sidebar. [Please let me know if it’s not working]. Donate anything you want or anything you can. This could potentially save my friend’s life and if you don’t think that’s worth fighting for than you obviously haven’t been listening. 

If you want something in return he’d be more than happy to draw you a little doodle and I can pass it on. 

If you can’t donate, SIGNAL BOOST. I want this post to skyrocket to the toppest tops of my most reblogged posts and I want it to appear on my dash twofold. This deserves to be talked about. This boy needs some aid and I can’t do it alone.

So please help my friend.

It would mean a lot. 

WE HAVE ALL BEEN LIED TO

The Malfoys

Please reblog or like if you feel a teacher’s negative behaviour towards you has ever brought your grade down or caused you to lose interest in a class.

but you don’t

but you do

well… well first off, i’d say, seek professional help immediately. because i am wildly unqualified to answer your question with anything but experience. and first off, my experience says, if you are in such a deep and dark place where you say things like this to total strangers on the internet, you need to be in contact with someone that can help you start to heal.

second, i’d say… you’re wrong. i’d say the things any of us don’t know, especially about tomorrow, could blanket every grain of sand on every beach of the world with bullshit. And to simply assume you are done tomorrow because you are done today is a mistake. a factual mistake, an error, a critical miscalculation.

i’d say, read Tad Friend’s piece JUMPERS in which he seeks and finds and talks to people that jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge — and lived. And they all say the same variations this: “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.” 

And know that this piece has kept me in my seat on more than a couple dark nights.

And i’d say — i’d say i felt that way before too, and i was wrong.

And then i’d tell you something i don’t even think my wife knows. this happend years before we met — shit, more than a decade — and it’s not   the first time i came close to suicide was on a thanksgiving night. i’d eaten well and then as the house shut down i went into the bathroom, drew a bath as hot as i could manage to stand, and climbed into the tub with a razor  blade.

As i started to cut, as the corner touched my skin and that jolt of pain fired into my head, i stopped and thought — y’know, last chance. Are you SURE?

And i was tired. I sounded like you, that i knew there’d be ups again and downs but i was just so fucking TIRED i couldn’t stand the thought of having to get there. I felt this… this never-ending crush of days that were grey and tepid but for some reason i was supposed to greet each one with a smile. the constant pressure of having to keep my shit in all the time was just exhausting.

I wondered, then — well, is there anything you’re curious about. Anything you want to see play out. And i thought of a comic i was reading and i’d not figured out the end of the current storyline. And i realized I had curiosity. And that was the hook i’d hang my hat on. that by wanting to see how something played out I wasn’t really ready. That little sprout of a thing poking up through all that black earth kept me around a little longer.

I realized then that it had been so long since i’d laughed. I was numbed out and shut down and just… i missed laughing. maybe if i laughed a little i could get moving again. so i’d wait for my comic to conclude, try to find a few laughs, and then reevaluate.

So I’m in the bathtub and i got this real sharp-ass razor, right? And i look down and there’s all my bits floating in the water like they do and i thought okay, let’s get funny and i got to work.

I shaved off exactly half my pubic hair vertically. The end result was a ‘fro of pubes that looked like a Chia Pet that only half-worked. I started to laugh as I did it. And every time i’d piss, looking down made me laugh. 

Because JESUS what a nightmare.

Shortly thereafter I got very heavily into Chuck Jones and Tex Avery. Way less chafing and way more funny.

jesus. i was still in high school at the time. dig if you will a picture of the chubby weirdo that was always giggling at his dick in the bathroom. that was me.

And then I guess I’d tell you about Dave, who did the same thing as me a few years later, only DIDN’T have my hilarious Chia Dick strategy in mind and got the razor in and up. And as he started to bleed out “Brown Eyed Girl” came on the radio and he realized he’d never get to hear that again so, in a bloody comedy of errors — I swear to god this is true — he got out of the tub, tried to get dressed the best he could, went downstairs calling for help only to find his family gone, went out to his car, and drove to doug’s house only to find doug not home and so, then, finally, he blacked out from blood loss sitting there in his car, playing a van morrison CD on repeat, until, by luck, Doug’s mom came home and found him. 

Fucking Van Morrison, y’know?

A song, a comic, something dumb, something small. From that seed can come everything else, I swear to god.

I guess last I’d say… I’d say that, look — if you reached out to me for an answer, than I have to reach back out to you and insist you hear it.  Because it means, what, you know me? My work? You read my stuff and thought, well, fuck, if anyone would know why I shouldn’t end my life, if anyone alive is QUALIFIED TO SAVE ME it’s the guy that had britney spears punch a bear? okay — okay, then, so as THAT GUY I’m saying: Get help. Now, today, tonight, whenever — get to a phone and find a doctor that can try to help you heal, that can try to recolorize your world again, that can help you start caring again. All you need is that one tiny thing, that speck, that little grain of sand. the World Series, AVENGERS 2, Tina Fey’s new show, the first issue of PRETTY DEADLY, some slice of the world you’ve never seen, some drink you love, who the fuck will love your dog like you do if you’re gone, what if jabrams KILLS it on the new STAR WARS, the hell are you doing for Halloween, you ever feed a dolphin with your bare hand? because i have and I am fucking telling you IT IS A THING TO EXPERIENCE and oh god WHAT FUCKING FONT WILL STARBUCKS USE ON THE CHRISTMAS DRINK SLEEVES THIS YEAR — i don’t care what or how dumb but i promise you somewhere in your life is that one fleck of dust that can help start you on the road back. That’s all it takes. One fucking mote, drifting through your head.