ambassador of disharmony

Schpood: I wanna just—I'm holding your hands, Wesselo. Wesselo: [sighs] Can you please tell Solev that the date was really bad? He's gonna execute me. Schpood: Oh— [VC cuts out here] But, no, Solev's fine even though we're publicly together, we both have side things, you know? Wesselo: Oh okay, okay Schpood: Well, we're not—not publicly together but like everyone kinda knows, you know? Like, he has his public thing, you know— [First Lady] Alt. Wesselo, nodding: Yeah. Schpood: But they're not really a thing. It's me and him. But even if we're a thing, you can't be my public one either because, you know, that would embarrass Solev and he'd get jealous and probably murder [First Lady] Alt and then we'd have to run away together and then it'd be a whole thing? So— Wesselo: That's fine, that's fine. Schpood: ...See you tonight, Wesselo. Wesselo: See you... [Schpood leaves, stops in the doorway] Schpood, to the guards: Execute Wesselo in like, 2 minutes. I'm joking! I'm joking!

Solev (to Wesselo): Come over here [moves to the corner] Solev (to Schpood): Schpood, could you return to your seat. Solev (to Wesselo): If you ever think you can steal [Vice] President Schpood from me, I will see [to] it that you will sit the rest of your life in those fucking [unintelligible], alright? So you better mess up this date. If he is stolen from me, it's your head, it's your head. The imperial government will find you. They'll find your business. Wesselo: Okay— Solev: Alright, you understood? Is this understood? Wesselo: Okay, of course, of course. Solev: Alright, yeah, yeah. Make sure he's not stolen from me. Go. [Wesselo sits across a table with Schpood while Solev and his guards leave] Schpood: Wesselo~ How are you doing? Wesselo: Oh yeah er—! Schpood: I've really—I've really enjoyed this so far. Wesselo: Oh! uhm I've enjoyed it too! It's been um, really good! Schpood: Oh great! Wesselo: I have something to tell you. Unfortunately, you might not like me very much after hearing this. Schpood: Why's that? Wesselo: I'm actually… alcoholic [takes a sip of a drink labeled 'Old Fashioned'] Schpood: ME TOO! I have multiple Old Fashioned's in my inventory! Wesselo: Oh! Schpood: I'm gonna have three [bottles] because its pretty bad Wesselo, nervously: Oh! I'm so glad we can bond over this! Schpood: What are the odds of that! I've always wanted— well, its called a drinking buddy for a reason