#schpyder

VRO UR SO PEAK ^_^ I WOULD'VE TOTALLY FINSIHED THIS SOONER IF THING DIDNT COME UP!!

(Without Lighting under the cut)

Everyone, please.

oughhhh season 2.5 schpyder fancanons LETS GO

5pyder always sits schpood down after a meeting to give him the spark notes version of everything they discussed, but sometimes even that’s too boring for schpood to really want to listen. so every now and then 5pyder will throw in something completely fucking bizarre to make sure the emperor is paying attention (ie: “sidefall has just been unanimously elected as the new leader of infernus” “fluixon and saparata have decided to settle their differences with a dance off” “the linguilini mafia has discovered hollow earth below their mines” etc etc)

not sure how other people explain the arachnid-5pyder-hybrid thing (5pyder having 8 eyes, 4+ arms) but i like to think he was bitten by some kind of weird mutant spider while exploring a cave when he was younger, and is pretty self-conscious about the way his mutations look

5pyder is secretly extremely relieved that the arranged marriage between schpood and jophiel never happened. 5pyder will also NEVER admit this to anyone aloud because, you know, it’d make him sound like a major asshole

everyone in westhelm that wants something specific from schpood ends up asking 5pyder first. mostly because they’re terrified of schpood but also because if it’s in his power 5pyder will just take care of it for them, and in a much more timely manner than the emperor would. he’s just more reliable and less likely to ship you off to the colosseum

for that reason alone, most of westhelm’s citizens assume that 5pyder is ruling as a consort, although there’s also a wide-spread conspiracy theory that 5pyder has actually been running the entire empire all along with schpood acting as his carefully installed puppet

when schpood finds out about the conspiracy theory, he thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. and of course to make things worse during public appearances and speeches he starts implying that he’s “serving westhelm at the behest of its true leader” and “just following orders from above”