The Glorious Empire of Medusozoa

The dude on the left is a bracken, and it will murder you if you look at it for too long.

The dude on the right is a coilhead, and it will murder you if you don't look at it, weeping angel style.

1. If you are not silly, it is vital you become silly

2. If you are silly, you must stay silly

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

Boston City hall, that's a butch with some complicated feelings about the role of government

Philadelphia City Hall is an extravagant Bisexual man who romanticizes paris

Sears Tower

He's was twink who got an office job and is confused on why we need liberation if we have marriage equality, but still tries to listen to people

Reunion Tower:

She's a trans girl who uses a bit too much make up when getting ready

The Shard

Femme who dyes her hair frequently and does fad diets

US Bank tower

Typical White Gay man who works out a little bit

Roblox HQ (I think)

In the closet and a tad homophobic but they'll realize a few things in college

Chicago 2 flat

Dyke

El Servilletero

National library of Belarus

He is a modernist thinker who feels we must simultaneously preserve the past and move past it, he's tall and for some reason dyed his hair dark blue.

Alhambra

A sweet older woman, she speaks both Spanish and Arabic and has a noble vibe, she has had the same girlfriend for 50 years, and works as a sculpter after growing a bit tired of religion

Lloyd's building

I am getting some botanist vibes from the Sydney opera house, she's a lesbian who maintains a garden in her back yard

Military buff autistic (derogatory)

An older lesbian who works as a baker, not really femme or butch, she calls herself a business woman

Eustin Station

He is a goth bi man but he is really bad at it

Philadelphia Art Museum

Very legalistic, very large, bordering on bear, really Artsy but also kinda fucking pretentious about it

Lakhta center

20 Fenway Street

Palace of Culture and Science

Bit overbearing and pretty big, a rude and pretentious man who has odd political opinions which are contradictory at best

Flatiron Building

An academic man, he lives art deco architecture and has been studying the city of New York for 30 years, he loves triangular things

Castle of Richard the Lionheart in Kyiv

She's tall and noble, she feels like she is the most important person and she's right, tragically she is straight

Leaning tower of Pisa

Marina City

Habitat 67

He is not doing well mentally and has been through the fucking ringer, he has a unstable relationship with his boyfriend, French canadian

Sagrada Familia

God's Faggiest Catholic

Coit Tower

A fan of the classics, he loves to go on hikes and meet men in the Castro, has some concerning politics

Library of Congress