callout for raphael @indeath / @hemorage / @qinqov
trigger warnings include:Â abuse, sexual abuse, verbal / emotional abuse, mentions of guns / shootings, sexual harassment, cheating, heavy usage of gendered slurs (c*nt and b*tch), extreme amounts of gaslighting and manipulation and guilt tripping, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, suicide baiting, ableism (especially of bpd and the demonization of people with bpd, gatekeeping disorders), racism (especially making asian stereotypes and asian fetishization, and antisemitism), fatphobia, mentions of pedophilia, brief mentions of rape.Â
if i missed any triggers, please let me know. i tried to detail them all here.
please read this with caution, should you choose to. if you cannot at any point continue, please do not, for your own sake. i donât want to trigger anyone or upset anyone. i just want to share my story and thank you to everyone giving me a chance to speak and hear me out.
** and please, raphael prefers they / them pronouns from people who are not mutuals with them. please respect that.
and once again please do not message them, or anyone else, on my behalf. just please do not. i am happy that anyone wants to defend me or any other victims, but please donât. i donât want any more problems and i am capable of speaking for myself.
here is the link to the google doc containing the callout. please reblog this post if you feel comfortable sharing. thank you.
it is extremely lengthy. there are A LOT of receipts. i canât blame anyone for looking at this and feeling like itâs ridiculous for the length and i donât expect anyone to actually look through everything thatâs in there, but i ask that you give me a chance to hear me out on some of these things. i wonât have raphael or their friends slander me anymore or make up lies about me. i disprove all of their lies here. many of the links redirecting to imgurs or twitter posts are also extensive and long. i didnât mean for things to get as long as they did but iâm wordy and just ⌠raphael is genuinely so horrible and there was just. an immense number of things to unpack. i apologize.
this post is a long time coming and i am sorry this took so long and to drag it out this far. i struggle a lot with adhd and just managing my spoons but i finally got it done. this comes on the heels of my original posts i wrote here, but i finally finished the doc that is a culmination of that post and more, including things i posted on twitter and MORE things i hadnât shared on twitter yet.
i truly didnât want things to have to come this far but idk i didnât have a choice anymore. raphael continued to lie and undermine me and continued to try to slander me to people and blame me and scapegoat me for things THEY did. i can not give them any benefit of the doubt at all. i cannot listen to ANYONE who tries to defend them saying that raphael wanted to genuinely say sorry to me because every step of the way, with them continuing to make up lies about me and show people out of context one-sided conversations as âgotchasâ against me, they proved that they didnât care and that theyâre not sorry.
this is not meant to isolate raphael or push them out or whatever.
i donât care if people are friends with raphael. what i do care about is accountability, and thatâs something raphael has never known for all of these years. raphael has apologized for the events of the past callout, but iâve since dug out proof that it was just performative and they didnât mean it. so iâm not interested in their apologies either because i know it wonât be sincere.
all i am asking for is that raphael admits to being wrong and that they did abuse me and other people. thatâs all. they donât think theyâre in the wrong so i know they wonât say sorry, but i just want acknowledgement. they abused me. they abused me for nearly four years. and for years, they twisted the narrative to their friends. my friends. so for years these people also pretended to be my friend and would shit talk me behind my back and share screenshots of my vents to raphael and listen to a one-sided story from raphael and not even ask me for my side. on one hand i canât blame people because raphael has spent YEARS warping their perception of me with lies and manipulations and gaslighting them too but thereâs only so much i can excuse. when i show people screenshots of the horrible way raphael spoke to me, iâm still/?? the aggressor?Â
anyways i donât know what else to write here. iâve said so much as it is. i just want people to look critically at what raphael put me through for the last 4 years. i want raphael to evaluate their own actions and take responsibility for their actions. itâs not ok. what i went through was not ok. what everyone else went through wasnât ok. i didnât deserve this and neither did anyone else they abused or hurt.
my dms are open to anyone who wants to make a comment about raphael, close some old wounds, talk things out, etc. but anon is going to be disabled the second i get anything shitty. i donât want to hear from raphael, ana, forza, or lazarus in my dms. the only thing i ever want to hear from any of these people are apologies and it better be publicly because i never want to open my messages to find theyâve block evaded me to harass me.
i just want raphael to admit theyâre in the wrong and try to change and do better and take responsibility and hold themselves accountable for their actions but i donât believe itâll happen. raphael hasnât changed at all over the years.
IF YOU ARE RAPHAELâS FRIEND, please read this. please look through even any bit of this, especially anything with big long screenshot evidence. please be critical of who youâre friends with and the lies theyâre feeding you and how they manipulate the narrative to slander me and anyone else who has fallen out with them. i am begging you to look at this. i do not care if you remain their friend. all i am asking of you is that you do not DARE try to tell me that raphael isnât abusive or that theyâre remorseful or sorry for anything theyâve done because they arenât. they ARE an abuser. to deny that is to step on all of their victims and our experiences and the things we had to endure because of them. stay their friend all you want. i do not care. help them get better. all i am asking is that you SEE this for what it is and you donât let them get away with it and you BELIEVE US. the victims. please.
thank you to everyone who has supported me through this. thank you for giving me a chance to tell my side of the story. if anyone manages to get through this at all, thank you for bearing with me and sticking through it.