#ableism cw

It scares me a lot because I'm having symptoms of something I'm not diagnosed with. I talked a while ago about how I went to the emergency room because I was having symptoms that are normally associated with strokes. The ER doctor was extremely rude and transphobic and he didn't believe it could possibly be anything other than a migraine.

I saw a headache specialist though who said that it didn't sound like I had a migraine at all. She said to ask my primary care doctor about it. I couldn't get an appointment with him, so I saw some other doctor, who was not even willing to entertain the idea that I actually had the symptoms I had.

So like, now I know that I could have had something like a mini stroke, which is a really serious thing, but no doctor is willing to hear me out.

I need a fucking lobotomy.

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✩°｡⋆. the vision in katarina's left eye is damaged. this isn't something she has ever told anyone & doesn't plan to ever do so. being disabled is something shameful inside of noxus, especially when it is something that so deeply impacts how well you can carry out your role.

she always hopes her brother can not tell the way her left eye doesn't quite follow her gaze. she prays to kindred that he did not notice how, the first few weeks, to months after the injury, she was disoriented, long after they'd unbandaged her eye.

katarina feels deep shame & fear about her disability. not because it inconveniences her, or even because she thinks it's something shameful in & of it's own, but because she's terrified of the way it may affect talon to know how horrifically he'd impaired her ability to play her role.

Vincent’s apparition didn’t interrupt him through his spells, only waited politely until he was ready to address him, attentive and perfectly poised on his perch. If anything he was complimentary —watching with interest, body settled slightly to the side with his hand propping up his chin. There was a soft laugh as Vincent threw the glass and commanded down the other voices, because it really did serve them right, now didn’t it? But those crimson eyes flecked with apple red never left him, smile intact but never quite mocking.

“I am new, aren’t I? It takes an inspired mind to conjure me, so I must say it’s quite the pleasure, Vincent. Why I’d simply be remiss if I didn’t give you at least a tiny interview,” he said, descending from those licking ropes of shadow, his movements too fluid as he found one of the studio chairs to settle in, ever out of place and occasionally rippling at the edges. There was a gentle way in his speech, lilting and mischievous, curious. His laughter preceded the teleprompter, one hand coming up to his mouth in a nearly silent snicker.

“No no, nothing so dull you know, I’m a bit of a special guest. One could say I’m from downtown certainly, but it’s a bit deeper down than you’re thinking. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you Vincent? Where I’m from? Oh you’re simply going to love it when you see it. How long are you going to keep us waiting? It’s quite the bore without you, oh God of Entertainment. They used to laugh at you, didn’t they? And look at you now… you’ve grown into such a sensation.”