theia system reblogs

[Image ID begins.]

A little cartoon of Echo floats in the void and narrates. "It's like… you spend all this time being told off by psychiatrists, feeling unsafe in the office, the specimin of study. Given a thousand diagnoses. Only the meds you don't want- "we only treat anxiety with therapy", "you're personifying your emotions". Why am I here? Clearly something is wrong here."

The dog from the "this is fine" meme begs a doctor to do something about the fire, please, and the doctor says no. It's labeled, "for almost ten years." Below, a sea of diagnostic labels crowd into each other's space bubbles: major depression with psychotic features, seasonal affective disorder, unspecified psychotic disorder, borderline personality disorder, autistic, general anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, specific phobia, panic disorder, and almost crowded out of the panel is dissociative identity disorder. "So many words they gave us," narrates Echo. None of it is absolute truth.

If it took a decade to get an insurance label that doesn't mean much to me anymore simply because it took so long- "overly prescriptive, power structure reinforcing, often controlling-" why do I still feel something, even then? I don't want this, or do I? Rage? Grief? Tired? Surprise? Relief? Pain? Sadness? Worry? Smugness? Daunted? Nervous? Nothing, nothing at all?

Now I know

That I can't make you stay

But where's your heart?

But where's your heart?

But where's your

And I know

There's nothing I can say

To change that part

To change that part

To change

So many bright lights, they cast a shadow

But can I speak?

Well, is it hard understanding?

I'm incomplete

A life that's so demanding

I get so weak

A love that's so demanding

I can't speak

Can you see?

My eyes are shining bright

'Cause I'm out here on the other side

Of a jet black hotel mirror

And I'm so weak

Is it hard understanding;

I'm incomplete?

A love that's so demanding;

I get weak.

These bright lights have always blinded me

These bright lights have always blinded me

I say:

I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead. (How can I see, I see you lying)

I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead. (How can't I see, I see you lying)

I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak.

Awake and unafraid.

Asleep or dead.

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone (Or dead)

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven