Preparation met opportunity, and somehow I ended up here.

@secret-subject I'm coming for you 🤩 🤩 🤩 🤩

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A friend just asked me about consent models and which I align with the most:

-SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual)

-RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink)

-PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink)

-SSICK (Safe, Sane, Informed, Consensual Kink)

Disclaimer: I have seen many different understandings of what these definitions mean. Some people think certain words include ideas that others don't. Also, I don't think any model will ever be perfect, but it's still worth attempting.

SSC: I think this applies to 80% of people who do BDSM, ie people who don't do edge play, and is great as an introduction to kink. As soon as you get into edge play (and I have a whole class about the complicated definition of that), what is reasonably considered "sane" or "insane" becomes relative. Also, many people do kink that most would consider unsafe (the elusive definition of "safe" is also in my class) but it is still valid.

RACK: A step better, because it allows for more freedom, but it leaves a large blind spot for the things that you don't know that you don't know.

SSICK: again, what is "sane" and "safe"

I tend to like PRICK but I think I would spell it PRICCK, and the second C is for collaborative. Personal Responsibility, Informed, Collaborative, Consensual Kink.

PRICK/RACK without any semblance of duty to your partner's informedness can be a recipe for predatory assault: if you could reasonably know that they are not informed, or you find out afterward that they weren't, I believe one has a duty to do their best to recognize and/or remediate. "It's not my fault you didn't know what you were doing" may in some cases be appropriate but it should not be the reflex reaction, or a claim beyond any reproach, when consent injury or violation occurs.

Highlighting collaboration reminds us that our priority is the most successful outcome for all participants, whatever that may look like. Without that, consent model might be reduced to get-out-of-jail-free cards for a worst-case scenario.

Maybe some would umbrella this under "personal responsibility". But as someone who was victimized by someone who claimed RACK when I said "why didn't you tell me that you knew that this was potentially deadly", I dunno, I feel like adding a reasonable degree of responsibility to your partner is clarifying and helpful.

So, I could become a false criminal.

Hot tip: something I've personally learned is that instead of being focused on being the most correct or being perfect, make your goal "I want to give this person gender euphoria because they deserve it". When I make it less about my own self-image of being a "good person", and more about the whole point of the thing, I find that heads me in the right direction and prevents any guilt I feel about messing up from overflowing onto the other person.

Lomg

Touched, brushed, canvas feverishly caressed

Then finished

Jailed in glass

And never touched again.

The other day, my Master was programming my mouth to feel even better than my pussy. I can't remember exactly how he was phrasing it, but it wasn't quite hitting for me. So my mind found a way to make 2 + 2 equal 💦 , and it did that by saying "your throat feels like your g-spot, your tongue feels like your clit, and your lips feel like your asshole."

A few days later while thinking about modalities, it struck me that I have used bridges like this before when I wanted to feel something specific.

Like, instead of telling myself to feel confident, I might say "what would Dolly Parton do?" And then the feeling of her just inhabits me and nothing bothers me anymore.

Or if i wanted to feel studious, I'd try to remember being on my old college campus, and suddenly I'm back there, in the grind.

(this makes me sound like I'm super good at controlling my mental state, I'm actually not because I never remember to do this...)

When I reference a specific context, either from my past or from a hypothetical scenario, I can feel the feelings that context brings out (or would hypothetically bring out) in me.

(This even happens sometimes after I watch a movie that's really engrossing, for a period afterward i'll talk, act, or think like they did in the movie. If I think deeply about the movie later, it happens again.)

So for example, if i want to hypnotically suggest to myself that I'm on a beach right now, just using sensory modalities isn't really enough. "Seeing" the waves and "smelling" the air and "feeling" the sun is OK. But it's like a child's crayon drawing. It also takes energy for me to hold the composition together. But if I say "remember the beach in Portugal when the sun was out and the water was perfect" theeeen I'm on the beach in full color 4k.

I think it's because I'm aware of how faceted experiences can be so It's hard to know where I am on the feelings map without enough landmarks.

Like, "you feel horny".

OK, am I happy horny? Surprised horny? Deep in the thralls of horny? Consciously unaware that I'm suddenly horny? Flustered horny? Needy enthusiastic horny? There are so many different kinds, I get lost.

Or, "you feel pleasure". OK, is it a lick on my clit? A hand on my hip? A cock on my tongue? A fucking machine ramming my pussy at 60fpm? All very different, all much more engrossing references for me than just "pleasure".

For pain, a more specific reference could be like, "when I snap you'll feel pain like the times you've been whipped and it wrapped around you and cracked on your sensitive spots". That's not just pain, but also fear and helplessness (and a little arousal).

For being a sexy slave, a reference could be like "You feel like Betty Draper from the beginning of Mad Men when she does everything her husband says and is the perfect 1960's wife." That's happy, chipper, beautiful, anticipating your needs-kind of vibes.

For being a needy obedient slut, it could be like "remember the time you got gangbanged by 30 guys in one night." That's enthusiastic, slightly helpless, long-term cock-drunk horniness.

Fffff good question. These shorts. They're just a little too big, a little too long. But I thrifted them, so I don't feel bad.