Preparation met opportunity, and somehow I ended up here.

So, I could become a false criminal.

Hot tip: something I've personally learned is that instead of being focused on being the most correct or being perfect, make your goal "I want to give this person gender euphoria because they deserve it". When I make it less about my own self-image of being a "good person", and more about the whole point of the thing, I find that heads me in the right direction and prevents any guilt I feel about messing up from overflowing onto the other person.

Lomg

Touched, brushed, canvas feverishly caressed

Then finished

Jailed in glass

And never touched again.

The other day, my Master was programming my mouth to feel even better than my pussy. I can't remember exactly how he was phrasing it, but it wasn't quite hitting for me. So my mind found a way to make 2 + 2 equal 💦 , and it did that by saying "your throat feels like your g-spot, your tongue feels like your clit, and your lips feel like your asshole."

A few days later while thinking about modalities, it struck me that I have used bridges like this before when I wanted to feel something specific.

Like, instead of telling myself to feel confident, I might say "what would Dolly Parton do?" And then the feeling of her just inhabits me and nothing bothers me anymore.

Or if i wanted to feel studious, I'd try to remember being on my old college campus, and suddenly I'm back there, in the grind.

(this makes me sound like I'm super good at controlling my mental state, I'm actually not because I never remember to do this...)

When I reference a specific context, either from my past or from a hypothetical scenario, I can feel the feelings that context brings out (or would hypothetically bring out) in me.

(This even happens sometimes after I watch a movie that's really engrossing, for a period afterward i'll talk, act, or think like they did in the movie. If I think deeply about the movie later, it happens again.)

So for example, if i want to hypnotically suggest to myself that I'm on a beach right now, just using sensory modalities isn't really enough. "Seeing" the waves and "smelling" the air and "feeling" the sun is OK. But it's like a child's crayon drawing. It also takes energy for me to hold the composition together. But if I say "remember the beach in Portugal when the sun was out and the water was perfect" theeeen I'm on the beach in full color 4k.

I think it's because I'm aware of how faceted experiences can be so It's hard to know where I am on the feelings map without enough landmarks.

Like, "you feel horny".

OK, am I happy horny? Surprised horny? Deep in the thralls of horny? Consciously unaware that I'm suddenly horny? Flustered horny? Needy enthusiastic horny? There are so many different kinds, I get lost.

Or, "you feel pleasure". OK, is it a lick on my clit? A hand on my hip? A cock on my tongue? A fucking machine ramming my pussy at 60fpm? All very different, all much more engrossing references for me than just "pleasure".

For pain, a more specific reference could be like, "when I snap you'll feel pain like the times you've been whipped and it wrapped around you and cracked on your sensitive spots". That's not just pain, but also fear and helplessness (and a little arousal).

For being a sexy slave, a reference could be like "You feel like Betty Draper from the beginning of Mad Men when she does everything her husband says and is the perfect 1960's wife." That's happy, chipper, beautiful, anticipating your needs-kind of vibes.

For being a needy obedient slut, it could be like "remember the time you got gangbanged by 30 guys in one night." That's enthusiastic, slightly helpless, long-term cock-drunk horniness.

Fffff good question. These shorts. They're just a little too big, a little too long. But I thrifted them, so I don't feel bad.

And I already got rid of like 60% of my clothes before packing. American overconsumerism is not joke. Some of these pieces I'd wear maybe once a year, some I never wore. Crazy what you buy when you have a whole room that's just a closet.

I have pretty great taste though, so fingers crossed I can sell some to the Harajuku thrift shops.

Send me asks to answer on my breaks?

2) The life update is awesome, very excited for you and the kitties 🐈🐈‍⬛

3) Realizing I’ve been around here since before you left, and the dawning comprehension of how long that’s been has been… sobering. Bordering on existential. 🫤

Thankyouthankyouthankyouu

Best thing: easy travel int he trains, cheap food, and so much culture! OK that's three

The only thing I miss about America so far is American breakfast food restaurants 🤣 there's nothing like IHOP after a night of partying

The best in hypno-kink is when they just send me a bunch of spirals over and over. I am a novice hypnotee you see, so it always works.

Four for four!

Ever since the purge, I've missed Tumblr. Honestly there's nothing like it. I missed writing long things and connecting over more than a hundred or so characters. Today I was informed that there are more of us than I thought still active on here (thank you @misscammiedawn), so I was convinced to give it a go again, censorship be damned.

So what's been up with me in the last... Seven-ish years? Here's the highlight reel:

-made some content, did some paid private hypno video sessions (I'm doing these again now), did some sugar dating, had a Patreon for a hot second

-started a private discord group that, while not super active, brings me so much joy (love you all)

-took a big long break from everything, unlisted all my stuff because job hunting

-hated every second of having to be on Twitter

-was Charmed Consent Team Lead two years in a row and really enjoyed it even though it burned me out

-taught some hypno/kink classes here and there

-started and maintained a 6 year long distance relationship with the love of my life

-Got diagnosed with DID, wohooooo system high five ✋

-Tried to date a vanilla guy LOL (AND he was a coworker, what was I thinking)

-Dated some other guys not worth my time (but learned great lessons)

-raised two cats from kittenhood, they're dumbasses and I love them

-took a chance and changed my whole kink identity for a guy that didn't work out, changed it back

-had jobs, quit jobs, did photography

-Got outed as a hypno kinky porn star escort to my family. Didn't get disowned.

-Came out to my family as poly and pansexual. Didn't get disowned.

-Changed my vanilla name

-Bought a house, sold a house

-traveled Europe and the US visiting family and kinky friends

-moved to Japan

-had a lot of great sex along the way

-taught a class (today) as part of the @secret-subject 's online hypno-kink stream-a-thon. It' s called "The Starfleet Guide to Edge Play" and I couldn't be more proud of it.

And I think that catches us up.

I actually have a chunk of writings I did for consent team that I want to share on here. Other than that... Catch me up, ask me things, help me get going.