Jason, barging into Timâs room: Hey, Timmy
Tim, hanging up the call on his phone: Iâll call you back
Jason: Ooh, who are you calling?
Tim: None of your business
Jason: So youâre dating someone?
Tim: How did you get that from ânone of your businessâ
Jason: I mean there are like two reasons for your secrecy: dating someone or planning something fun. I am choosing to believe that youâre dating someone because you wouldnât plan something fun without me then not tell me, thatâs just mean
Tim: Something fun as in destruction?
Jason, tossing a pen at him: Yeah, but donât avoid the question
Tim: Iâm not dating anyone. Drop it
Jason: Mmm no. I donât believe you. Honesty is the best policy, Tim Tam
Tim: âŚWill you get out of my room if I tell you?
Jason: Maybe. I definitely wonât if you donât tell me
Tim: Okay⌠Fine. But what I say doesnât leave this room
Jason: I get to tell three people and nothing I say leaves the group of those three and us two
Tim: Absolutely not
Jason: Fine, you leave me no choice. *Starts walking around Timâs room, picking up random things and dropping them on the floor* Wow, I love my room so much! And all my weird little things like⌠*picks up Timâs phone* this projectile! If I remember correctly, it was made for being thrown out of windows
Tim: Jason, stop
Jason, getting on the bed and laying on top of Tim: Ahhh my nice, comfy bed! You know what? I will simply never leave this room
Tim, trying to push him off: Okay! Okay! I get it! You can tell three other people and no one else!
Jason, getting up: Good. And Roy doesnât count for those three other people, I get to tell him anyway
Tim: âŚFine
Jason, sitting crisscrossed on Timâs bed: Okay, so who are you dating?
Tim: Iâm not dating anyone⌠but⌠so I think Iâm⌠I like guys and girls. Iâm bi
Jason: âŚThatâs the big news? Tim, hate to break it to you, but like ninety percent of us are bi, and the ones who arenât bi are just straight up gay
Tim: Even Alfred?
Jason: Yeah, I think he was in a poly relationship with Martha and Thomas. So who was your gay awakeningâor bi awakening, I guess
Tim: Itâs Kon
Jason: Kon Kent? Superboy?
Tim: Yeah⌠but I think heâs straight, soâ
Jason: Oh my God, itâs bad enough that you like a super, but then you think Kon of all people is straight?!
Tim: Youâve only spoken to him like three times, how would you know?!
Jason: Timantha, that guy is the epitome of bi-ness. Hell, I think the blue in his suit is the exact shade on the bi flag and the red is very similar to the pink on the flag
Tim: âŚSo you think I should tell him?
Jason: Duh, but maybe bring some kryptonite just in case I turn out to be wrong and he says something douchey or homophobic
Tim, taking out a notepad: Kryptonite, got it. So how should I confess?
Jason: Letâs get some rose petals and candles
Tim: Arenât rose petals flammable?
Jason: Itâs romantic
Tim: Pretty sure fire isnât romantic, but okay. What else?
Jason: We should get something sweet youâd both recognize as a token of your bond. Also, you should ask him out at night so the candles look nicer. Maybe outside, and we could get some cake and fireworks
Tim: Got it, but what should I do with the kryptonite? What if I put it in my pocket and then he pulls me into a hug or kiss and the kryptonite rubs against him and he passes out?
Jason: Hm⌠good point. We could get a chandelier made of kryptonite and hang it up high enough that he at least doesnât notice if it affects him. Iâll like hold it up with a rope, and if he says something rude Iâll just drop it down on him. But just so weâre clear, ânoâ doesnât count as something rude, he can say âno,â thatâs one of the rights in the constitution I think
Tim: Yeah, thatâs a good idea. Iâll make a subtle X with the roses where the chandelier would fall so we can have him stand there, and if he asks Iâll just tell him the chandelier is made of jade
Jason: Yeah. Weâre great at this whole âromanceâ thing
Tim: We really are
Dick, listening in from outside the door: Aww, theyâre bonding! Should I warn Kon, though? âŚNah, heâs Superboy, heâll be fine
Tim: So who are you going to tell?
Jason: Mmm⌠the outlaws, I guess. You can tell the family. If I were you, Iâd tell them before you ask Kon out.















