butt machine

i’ve been binging GQ’s “top ten essentials” videos, which i started binging bc i saw trey songz did one. here’s my own list:

chapstick - i have dry lips all the time, and get cranky without my chapstick

tissues - because i’m always a snot-nosed little brat

eye glasses cloth - shit gets on my glasses all the time

eyebrow powder/pencil - i have no eyebrows. so out of the all the make-up products, eyebrow products are the most important

scrunchie - to tie up my hair when i eat and work out

face blotting sheets - every oily girl needs this

thermos/water bottle - im a thirsty hoe

hoodie - its my favorite piece of clothing and im cold all the time

phone - bc im a millennial idk 

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? to michael dean and kyle, “guys help ___ is sliding into ___ DMs” B) What does the last text you recieved say? And from whom? from ___, “it’s annoying” lol C) What time do you wake up most mornings? weekdays is 7 AM for rotation, weekends is usually 9-10 AM D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night? not as afraid as i should be tbh E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day? tea and youtube videos F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom? when saying bye to brad in austin G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school? not in real trouble - professors mainly just give me some stern talking to’s for very silly things H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so? i am freaking the fuck out about getting a job :D I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos? unfortunately yes J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined? i’ve never been offered any illicit drugs, but i have great friends who will offer me antihistamines if they have a cat in their house K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking? most of my friends, yes L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted? i’ll take the antihistamines M) Tell us something weird that turns you on. empty houses N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual? last time i saw brad; absolutely O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? jobs, vacation, christmas presents P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? last month

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs? yes!

R) Are you a very affectionate person? i can be

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes? nope T) What are you looking forward to? thanksgiving U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more? nope; not at the moment V) Are you mentally strong? i think i am in the long-run, just certain situations can be difficult for me W) Are you physically strong? for my size, maybe X) Do you think you’re a good person? i can always be better Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. i’d lose 20 lbs, live in austin, and have a job lined up already