nothing will ever even come close to touching the humor + perfect execution of the question “is jake gyllenhaal gay?” being met with the response “why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this”

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nothing will ever even come close to touching the humor + perfect execution of the question “is jake gyllenhaal gay?” being met with the response “why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this”

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is jake gyllenhaal gay??
why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this
SHE DROVE ME HERE
Everyone and everything in this outtake though.
why does everyone have such strong vivid memories from 2010 associated with dynamite by taio cruz

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You do not need pasta.
Me laying in bed talking to myself at 1:30 in the morning (via seabelle)
33% cold, 33% sleepiness, 33% anxiety, 1% glitter
Greatest scene in television history
tag urself im ann
When I was nine, possibly ten, an author came to our school to talk about writing. His name was Hugh Scott, and I doubt he’s known outside of Scotland. And even then I haven’t seen him on many shelves in recent years in Scotland either. But he wrote wonderfully creepy children’s stories, where the supernatural was scary, but it was the mundane that was truly terrifying. At least to little ten year old me. It was Scooby Doo meets Paranormal Activity with a bonny braw Scottish-ness to it that I’d never experienced before.
I remember him as a gangling man with a wiry beard that made him look older than he probably was, and he carried a leather bag filled with paper. He had a pen too that was shaped like a carrot, and he used it to scribble down notes between answering our (frankly disinterested) questions. We had no idea who he was you see, no one had made an effort to introduce us to his books. We were simply told one morning, ‘class 1b, there is an author here to talk to you about writing’, and this you see was our introduction to creative writing. We’d surpassed finger painting and macaroni collages. It was time to attempt Words That Were Untrue.
You could tell from the look on Mrs M’s face she thought it was a waste of time. I remember her sitting off to one side marking papers while this tall man sat down on our ridiculously short chairs, and tried to talk to us about what it meant to tell a story. She wasn’t big on telling stories, Mrs M. She was also one of the teachers who used to take my books away from me because they were “too complicated” for me, despite the fact that I was reading them with both interest and ease. When dad found out he hit the roof. It’s the one and only time he ever showed up to the school when it wasn’t parents night or the school play. After that she just left me alone, but she made it clear to my parents that she resented the fact that a ten year old used words like ‘ubiquitous’ in their essays. Presumably because she had to look it up.
Anyway, Mr Scott, was doing his best to talk to us while Mrs M made scoffing noises from her corner every so often, and you could just tell he was deflating faster than a bouncy castle at a knife sharpening party, so when he asked if any of us had any further questions and no one put their hand up I felt awful. I knew this was not only insulting but also humiliating, even if we were only little children. So I did the only thing I could think of, put my hand up and said “Why do you write?”
I’d always read about characters blinking owlishly, but I’d never actually seen it before. But that’s what he did, peering down at me from behind his wire rim spectacles and dragging tired fingers through his curly beard. I don’t think he expected anyone to ask why he wrote stories. What he wrote about, and where he got his ideas from maybe, and certainly why he wrote about ghosts and other creepy things, but probably not why do you write. And I think he thought perhaps he could have got away with “because it’s fun, and learning is fun, right kids?!”, but part of me will always remember the way the world shifted ever so slightly as it does when something important is about to happen, and this tall streak of a man looked down at me, narrowed his eyes in an assessing manner and said, “Because people told me not to, and words are important.”
I nodded, very seriously in the way children do, and knew this to be a truth. In my limited experience at that point, I knew certain people (with a sidelong glance to Mrs M who was in turn looking at me as though she’d just known it’d be me that type of question) didn’t like fiction. At least certain types of fiction. I knew for instance that Mrs M liked to read Pride and Prejudice on her lunch break but only because it was sensible fiction, about people that could conceivably be real. The idea that one could not relate to a character simply because they had pointy ears or a jet pack had never occurred to me, and the fact that it’s now twenty years later and people are still arguing about the validity of genre fiction is beyond me, but right there in that little moment, I knew something important had just transpired, with my teacher glaring at me, and this man who told stories to live beginning to smile. After that the audience turned into a two person conversation, with gradually more and more of my classmates joining in because suddenly it was fun. Mrs M was pissed and this bedraggled looking man who might have been Santa after some serious dieting, was starting to enjoy himself. As it turned out we had all of his books in our tiny corner library, and in the words of my friend Andrew “hey there’s a giant spider fighting a ghost on this cover! neat!” and the presentation devolved into chaos as we all began reading different books at once and asking questions about each one. “Does she live?”— “What about the talking trees” —“is the ghost evil?” —“can I go to the bathroom, Miss?” —“Wow neat, more spiders!”
After that we were supposed to sit down, quietly (glare glare) and write a short story to show what we had learned from listening to Mr Scott. I wont pretend I wrote anything remotely good, I was ten and all I could come up with was a story about a magic carrot that made you see words in the dark, but Mr Scott seemed to like it. In fact he seemed to like all of them, probably because they were done with such vibrant enthusiasm in defiance of the people who didn’t want us to.
The following year, when I’d moved into Mrs H’s class—the kind of woman that didn’t take away books from children who loved to read and let them write nonsense in the back of their journals provided they got all their work done—a letter arrived to the school, carefully wedged between several copies of a book which was unheard of at the time, by a new author known as J.K. Rowling. Mrs H remarked that it was strange that an author would send copies of books that weren’t even his to a school, but I knew why he’d done it. I knew before Mrs H even read the letter.
Because words are important. Words are magical. They’re powerful. And that power ought to be shared. There’s no petty rivalry between story tellers, although there’s plenty who try to insinuate it. There’s plenty who try to say some words are more valuable than others, that somehow their meaning is more important because of when it was written and by whom. Those are the same people who laud Shakespeare from the heavens but refuse to acknowledge that the quote “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them“ is a dick joke.
And although Mr Scott seems to have faded from public literary consumption, I still think about him. I think about his stories, I think about how he recommended another author and sent copies of her books because he knew our school was a puritan shithole that fought against the Wrong Type of Wordes and would never buy them into the library otherwise. But mostly I think about how he looked at a ten year old like an equal and told her words and important, and people will try to keep you from writing them—so write them anyway.
*sobs for like the umpteenth time this day and reblogs the fuck out of this*
Always Reblogging.
Me texting at night..
Them: you sleepy? Me: nahh I’m good Them: alright,, wyd Me: *falls asleep*

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when ur heart does the !!!!! thing when someone texts you and youre like fuck…prolly gonna fall in love with them
all this week has been “senior week” at my school only it has been unofficial and was completely orchestrated by the students without permission from administration and each day has had a theme so yesterday was “tourist tuesday” and every senior student dressed up in typical “tourist” outfits like hawaiian shirts and socks with sandals and fanny packs and sunglasses and all that and the administration thought it was funny until they started a “tour group” so the entire senior class didnt attend class at all and wandered the campus as a group with a “tour guide” pointing out and explaining random things to the entire group but it all went downhill when the tour group walked into a classroom and as the guide was giving the group a fake tour of the class one of the kids pointed to a widely hated teacher and asked the tour guide “what animal is that?” and thats the story of how my school issued 84 detentions in one day
You can hear the audience gasp.
I’VE WAITED YEARS FOR AN UNCENSORED VERSION OF THIS
this was my favorite performance of hers

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askthetic
1: what color do you talk in?
2: what songs do you think people remember you by?
3: if you could take claim for any invention, which would it be?
4: radio or mp3?
5: what movie character would you choose to be your parent and why?
6: if people floated instead of walking, how far off the ground would you be?
7: choose a song to live off of.
8: would you rather have clouds for feet or suns for hands?
9: is your phone charged enough?
10: if you could choose one person to protect with your life, who would it be?
11: if you had to choose one person to be protected by, who would they be?
12: what book do you need to read?
13: who saved your life?
14: CDs or vinyl?
15: if you could only repeat words said by one person, who would you want to be echoing?
16: do you like feeling tall?
17: do you like wearing other people's shirts?
18: if you could breathe music, which artist would you choose to inhale and which would you choose to exhale?
19: would you rather have hair that changes color with emotion or get injured each time you're touched by the person you love?
20: what are the promises you've made to yourself?
21: if your family died, whose house would you go to for safety and reassurance?
22: what wouldn't you do to help a friend?
23: if you had to choose one music artist, actor, or author to become your mentor, who would it be?
24: who do you admire most in the world? why?
25: what are songs that make you want to become the sky?
26: would you rather be the night sky or the day sky?
26: would you rather be the sky or the earth?
27: would you rather be the earth or the moon?
28: would you rather be the moon or the sun?
29: if you had to change your name to something else, what would you change it to? why?
30: are your hands cold?
31: if you had to choose three articles of clothing to keep for the next three years of your life, what would they be?
32: monet or da vinci?
33: van gogh or michelangelo?
34: if you were a teacher, what would you assign to your class as their first project?
35: how do you pronounce 'crayon'?
36: have you ever wanted to be invisible?
37: have you ever wanted to be everywhere?
38: if you could change any one thing about your current surroundings, what would it be?
39: do you hear things in layers or all at once?
40: neon light or natural light?
41: if you could choose one instrument to master overnight, which would it be?
42: are you okay?
This gave me goosebumps holy shit
i reblogged this as soon as i pressed play now i am gonna finish it
Almost didn’t watch it, I’m so glad I did.