The Definitive Guide To My Baes
It’s a baelist…. Like a playlist? Geddit?
I’ll show myself out.
Presenting:
PART I: SEBASTIAN STAN IS RUINING MY LIFE EDITION
Beefcake bae aka Civil War Bucky Barnes
Large pretty man. Emotionally crippled Romanian beefcake. Very nice. 10/10 would bang.
Also goes by: Sebeefstian Stan; 100% Romanian beef.
Metal armed bae aka The Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Pros: gorgeous hair, gorgeous eyes, thighs of betrayal, murder strut. Would probably choke me. Cons: actually a murderer. Would probably choke me. 10/10 have definitely thought about what he could do to me with that arm.
Also goes by: assassin bae.
Commando bae aka The First Avenger Bucky Barnes
Delicious, medium-sized pouty man. May invite his best friend to *ahem* play. 10/10 would bang them both.
Also goes by: doesn’t-know-he’s-gay-bae.
Sad gay bae aka TJ Hammond
Smol pretty man. Emotionally crippled former First Son. Sad puppy. Gay, but says that breasts are awesome. Here, TJ, have at mine. 10/10 would snuggle so hard.
Also goes by: White House bae; knows-he’s-gay-bae; cinnamon roll bae.
Broadway bae aka Hal Carter
Can confidently add to the baelist without seeing Picnic. Looks as though he would take me to church like a good Southern boy and then fuck me in the choir loft. 10/10 would fuck every day of the week, even Sundays.
Also goes by: well-oiled bae; sinnamon roll bae.
Gymnast bae aka Lance Tucker
I haven’t seen this movie yet, but I’ve seen THAT scene and that’s all I need to know. Definitely a guy who would say “it isn’t gonna suck itself”, but I definitely wouldn’t mind. 10/10 would play bongos on those delicious buns.
Also goes by: buns of steel bae; golden boy bae.
Dork bae aka Sebastian Stan
Look at him. 10/10 would make him breakfast every day and nerd out with him over stupid shit like mee-mees and gifs.
Look how much baelist real estate he takes up ugh someone stop this man.
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