Gotham’s Most Tired Civilian

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

if you make me go next week, i’ll go live in star fucking city!

Ok, go live there. If you wanna make a spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. We can even talk about it during our next session. Say hi to my clients Ollie and Mia for me :)

if i live in star city, you won’t be able to get me. i’ll just live with arsenal.

Firstly, we both know you’re not going to move to Star fucking City. Secondly, and more importantly, I have connections there too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

WHY DO YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS EVERYWHERE!?

I have connections everywhere because each and every one of you (by which I mean all you vigilantes and villains) are traumatized as hell and helping people cope with that trauma gets me friends in high places.

That’ll be very therapeutic, I’m sure. Additionally, you need to also come scream at me. About your feelings, in fact.

Oh well, occupational hazard.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

if you make me go next week, i’ll go live in star fucking city!

Ok, go live there. If you wanna make a spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. We can even talk about it during our next session. Say hi to my clients Ollie and Mia for me :)

if i live in star city, you won’t be able to get me. i’ll just live with arsenal.

Firstly, we both know you’re not going to move to Star fucking City. Secondly, and more importantly, I have connections there too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

WHY DO YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS EVERYWHERE!?

I have connections everywhere because each and every one of you (by which I mean all you vigilantes and villains) are traumatized as hell and helping people cope with that trauma gets me friends in high places.

That’ll be very therapeutic, I’m sure. Additionally, you need to also come scream at me. About your feelings, in fact.

Oh well, occupational hazard.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

if you make me go next week, i’ll go live in star fucking city!

Ok, go live there. If you wanna make a spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. We can even talk about it during our next session. Say hi to my clients Ollie and Mia for me :)

if i live in star city, you won’t be able to get me. i’ll just live with arsenal.

Firstly, we both know you’re not going to move to Star fucking City. Secondly, and more importantly, I have connections there too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

WHY DO YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS EVERYWHERE!?

I have connections everywhere because each and every one of you (by which I mean all you vigilantes and villains) are traumatized as hell and helping people cope with that trauma gets me friends in high places.

That’ll be very therapeutic, I’m sure. Additionally, you need to also come scream at me. About your feelings, in fact.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

if you make me go next week, i’ll go live in star fucking city!

Ok, go live there. If you wanna make a spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. We can even talk about it during our next session. Say hi to my clients Ollie and Mia for me :)

if i live in star city, you won’t be able to get me. i’ll just live with arsenal.

Firstly, we both know you’re not going to move to Star fucking City. Secondly, and more importantly, I have connections there too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

WHY DO YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS EVERYWHERE!?

I have connections everywhere because each and every one of you (by which I mean all you vigilantes and villains) are traumatized as hell and helping people cope with that trauma gets me friends in high places.

Things I 100% believe Gothamites say:

As a therapist, I’ve come to find that living in a crazed villain and vigilante infested city can lead to some… interesting linguistic coping mechanisms and general vocabulary.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

if you make me go next week, i’ll go live in star fucking city!

Ok, go live there. If you wanna make a spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. We can even talk about it during our next session. Say hi to my clients Ollie and Mia for me :)

if i live in star city, you won’t be able to get me. i’ll just live with arsenal.

Firstly, we both know you’re not going to move to Star fucking City. Secondly, and more importantly, I have connections there too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

if you make me go next week, i’ll go live in star fucking city!

Ok, go live there. If you wanna make a spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. We can even talk about it during our next session. Say hi to my clients Ollie and Mia for me :)

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

nah, i like my definition of perfectly fine.

i

*deep long-suffering sigh* Nightwing. Nightwing, buddy. Child.

i had to talk to kori first okay :( i just

Ohmygosh you actually talked to Kori? Fascinating, I’m expecting great things.

i'm half expecting it to come off as "my girlfriend and i saw you across the bar and we like your vibe" or something honestly

That is almost exactly how it’s going to go down, yes. So long as you actually say something instead of just staring at him or ignoring getting “busy” again.

i

*deep long-suffering sigh* Nightwing. Nightwing, buddy. Child.

i had to talk to kori first okay :( i just

Ohmygosh you actually talked to Kori? Fascinating, I’m expecting great things.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?

yes. i am 100% sure.

While you’re at it, kindly re-evaluate your definition of “perfectly fine.”

i

*deep long-suffering sigh* Nightwing. Nightwing, buddy. Child.

i’m ready to talk. not really, but you’re forcing me.

yap yap yap yap yap.

Ok then, let’s start simple. What should I call you?

do you know my real identity?

Unfortunately for my own sanity, I know almost every Gotham vigilante’s identity. Not of my own violation, I assure you.

alright, that changes some stuff. you can call me jason.

Interesting. Three questions: Do you eat lunch? Do you have any hobbies other than reading and working out? What are your thoughts on companionship?

i eat lunch. i love cooking and baking. i also garden and mess around with my bike. i mean…i crave connection but i push people away too much.

Oh wonderful! I quite enjoy baking, but I usually stick to cookies and brownies occasionally. And a marshmallow bunny cake once when Damian visited me as a toddler. In general, hobbies are very useful things.

hm. alright. i mean, i have friends and family. we hang out often enough.

Do you take regular medication? Whether yes or no, I’m prescribing you something new.

i got prescribed medication, i don’t take it though.

Take. Your. Medication.

i am not taking my medication. you can’t force me.

I’ll get you better meds! If you come to regular sessions, we can find ones you like. Or at least tolerate. But you have to try them! Have to.

New better meds might. You won’t know if you don’t try.

*squints questioningly* You’re doing “perfectly fine”? Are you sure?