Surrounded by Lego @theemmjay - Tumblr Blog

Clickbait mashup: Only Nineties Kids Hate this Simple Trick.

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Today's Basic Instructions:

So Meyer knows enough to hew to The Lego Group's preferred presentation of their trademark (i.e. referring to the bricks as "LEGO bricks" (the capitalization is part of the preferred presentation, and something that Registered Lego Fan Media is required to do) and not "Legos"), but he doesn't know the Lego bricks already connect to Duplo bricks. Interesting.

#webcomics #basic instructions #lego

thesuperheroesnetwork

theemmjay

In reverse order, I say kill Rogue (because if I do either of the other two, she'd kill me), marry Jean Gray (because spending my life with a hot redhead is living the dream), fuck Emma Frost (and not just because she's what's left over, her White Queen outfit is hot as hell).

#Marvel Comics #Professor X #Magneto #X-Men #fuck-marry-kill

theemmjay

Every so often, the people who make the news quiz at The New York Times have a little too much fun with the incorrect answers.

theemmjay

Exhibit B. Sure, half of the incorrect ones are serious, but "No Parades?" (Self-contradictory much?) "Queens Only?" (Sounds like a parade in drag.)

theemmjay

Honestly, I'd totally watch a movie where a Predator hunted a T. rex. And I love that two of the incorrect answers throw Disney-owned properties into the mix.

theemmjay

Only one this time, but it still gave me a chuckle.

theemmjay

The answers themselves aren't what's funny this time (except maybe the tank), it's the escalation.

theemmjay

Another one with only one that came off as a joke, but what a joke!

theemmjay

Another one that starts out serious, then says, "Hey, let's throw in a couple of pop culture references."

theemmjay

We really need to bring "23 skidoo" back.

theemmjay

Thirty-six percent of people taking the quiz got this one right; I can only hope that the vast majority of the incorrect guesses weren't the Harry Potter reference.

#the new york times #quizzes #death cw

I was reading a comment about AI "art" on DeviantArt when something occured to me. If you asked an AI to generate an image of Count Rugen from The Princess Bride, would it give him the right number of fingers on both hands?

#artificial intelligence #the princess bride

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yodaprod

theemmjay

#technology #computers #vintage tech #blinkenlights

"Did you hear about Jeff?"

"No, what happened?"

"He ate his gun."

"He killed himself?"

"No, I mean he literally ate it. With ketchup and a bit of salt. Said his diet wasn't providing him with enough iron."

#microfiction #suicide cw #death cw #(by implication)

badjokesbyjeff

Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places.

The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all vibrant, sunny, peaceful with charming harp music playing. There are people dressed in white robes walking around, everyone appears happy and peacefully. But honestly seems a little boring.

Then the politician gets a tour of Hell and it's not at all what he expected.

In hell he is shown all of his favorite things: beautiful golf courses, free everything, infinite booze, all his old friends, partying, drugs, prostitutes. The politician can't believe it, it's like all of his epic nights out combined and stretched out to infinity.

When it's time to make his choice, rather surprisingly the politician chooses Heaven.

The devil, completely shocked by this choice asks him "Well why did you choose Heaven after I showed you how incredibly Hell would be for you"

The politician then replies "I know false promises in a campaign when I see them"

theemmjay

A software salesman dies, and is given the choice between going to heaven and going to hell.

He's shown heaven: Puffy white clouds, streets of gold, beautiful music everywhere, but honestly, a little boring.

He's shown hell: Endless parties with the best dance music, the best food, the best drink, and lots of beautiful people he to dance or make out with.

He chooses hell, and is immediately in a lake of fire, being tortured by a demon with a pitchfork.

He cries out, "What happened to the parties?!"

"Ah," the demon says. "You must have seen our demo."

#jokes #heaven #hell #death cw

So, I'm reading this New York Times article about a man who got trapped in a cave and I see this line: "'His full body was stuck in a crevice that was basically designed the exact shape of him,' the lieutenant said." And, of course, being the weeaboo that I am, I immediately think, "This hole, it was made for me!"

#the new york times #the enigma of amigara fault

chips1977

went to the ER cause I got punched in the head by a mouse

theemmjay

Now I'm picturing Remy trying to teach Linguini how to cook and getting really frustrated when he just. cant. get it!

Also, I thought that this was a @one-time-i-dreamt post at first.

#ratatouille

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No matter how many posts I've tagged with #the new york times," it never shows up in the list of tags I've used previously. Even in the list of popular tags, it doesn't show up until I type out "the new york" and hit space.

#tumblr #tags #the new york times

Just saw this in The New York Times' The Morning newsletter:

If you’re older, married, white, Christian or rural, you’re probably a Republican, the numbers show. If you’re college educated, urban, young, female or unmarried, you’re probably a Democrat.

So, if you're middle-aged, divorced, genderfluid/nonbinary, and live in a suburb, what do you tend to be? Independent? (Not trying to poke fun or anything, I just couldn't resist the joke.)

#the new york times #politics

Idea: TV Guide, the magazine for crossdressers.

#ideas #crossdressing #wordplay

I was thinking recently that when I was born (in 1980), there were still Titanic survivors alive, and it occurs to me that there are other groups of people that still had living members then, but not any more.

WWI veterans

People born in the nineteenth century

Comedians who got their start in vaudeville

And it won't be too long before WWII veterans get added to that list.

#life #time

From this New York Times article:

Mr. Trump is proudly a billionaire and built a populist message on standing up for those left behind. His supporters and allies have long argued that by virtue of his wealth, he could never be bought by special interests.

Yes, because billionaires never want more money. You could never influence one by offering them more. </sarcasm>

#the new york times #donald trump

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So I ordered the parts to make a couple of ghosts off of Lego Pick a Brick, and since the only "white sheet" ghosts I'd had before getting these two were the original Lego ghost and Ghost Vitruvius, I was surprised to see the pin hole on the top. Since I can never resist tinkering with Lego:

Voila! A femme-presenting ghost!

#lego #ghosts #lego ghosts

writing-prompts-re

A professor stands in front of a class on the first day of term for “Time Travel 101” and explains why no one is allowed to go to Stephen Hawking’s party.

theemmjay

"Does everyone finally have that? Good. Now, let's move on to the next lesson: No killing Hitler."

#microfiction #time travel #death cw #(by implication)

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