"THEY'RE GAY!"

the doctor asked if I could take my choker off like "it isn't metal, but it could cause artifacts or smudges in the images" so I joked that if I did my head would fall off, and he IMMEDIATELY backed off. he was just like "that sounds true. better keep it on"

was talking about my thesis with my aunt and i was explaining to her that because i'm doing an mfa in creative writing my thesis is writing a novel and i'm supposed to have a first draft by the end of the summer. and she said "wow! and i mean i'm sure that's fun for you?" and when i said yes it is she said "that's great. because if it were me i'd kill myself." which was a slightly nuts thing to say in a church waiting for my grandmother's funeral to start but i respect her honesty

why did elementary and middle school teachers get so mad when you finished your work early and did silent reading? I was an A/B student and some of them would be so pissed when I finished my test within 15 minutes and whipped out my N. D. Wilson novel or whatever

This!! What was I supposed to do, stare at the wall??

Everybody knows elementary and middle school students need to pretend to be slaving away at math problems for the full 8 hour school day to prepare them for the torture of adult employment.

Ok i know that too some people it will just look like a question mark but i am in love with this 🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪new 🫪🫪🫪🫪emoji apple added it dosent even feel real🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪do the peo🫪🫪🫪🫪ple know🫪 about🫪🫪🫪 this🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪