The 12th Doctor

"So. Starting out and saying that I had a Master--you just sort of...appeared." Not true, but he's not touching the Master's timeline unless he has to. "Soeverything was happy, I had a Master and one of my former companions who became a start and no jokes. Then."

You can do this, you can do this just say it. You came to terms with it months ago.

"I was-- I was raped by another version of you. Needless to say, being sexually assaulted by your best friend and a man that looks identical to the man you're in love with, can cause a breakdown."

That actually sounds like a fun idea. A treehouse-off, a bland and normal competition, something easy. Easier. Something better than him turning back and asking:

He holds the hammer out, and chokes down (again) how wrong this Doctor feels.

He's trying, he's trying very hard. And this is the most lucid he's been in six months. It's like watching the Master forget everything all over again. 

"Why are you collecting dogs? Why can't you be a normal Time Lord why do you have to be this way."

"Can't I mope and help? And also why in Rassilon's name are you doing this anyway?"

Ha, Ha. Ha.

He does make it to the Master before breaking down though. At first he just stands there. And tries to think of what to say.

"I don’t know if he’s dead."

She takes the wooden spoon out of the pot and does not think about the words she’s saying.

"But he’s been gone since a little after my birthday. April, I’m pretty sure. I thought he was coming back to celebrate it but—"

The handle cracks before she quickly puts it down on the counter.

"He never did. You’ll find a younger version of him around somewhere, which he set up rather nicely to carry on what he was doing. He might pretend to know you, I’m not sure."

She pauses to walk over and squeeze the Doctor’s shoulder gently. “But it’s not the him who is familiar with you. He’s gone.”

Lilly grabs another spoon from the drawer and walks back over to the stove, letting him process the information.

He hears the words, he really does. But he doesn't know how to respond.  So for a moment he just breathes. And breathes. 

"Why?" If anyone would know, it'd be Lilly, or that's what he tells himself. 

He seems to be taking it--

"Am not.”

She stops stirring, reminds herself to breathe, continues stirring.

"Are tooo!"

He's squinting now. Welp. He looks like a confused puppy. This is going to hurt.

"I say again, you are an idiot. You need to eat more, don’t make me hire someone just to feed you."

"You are mean." There's another sheepish grin. "Uh, I decided to take a trip, got lost, got trapped in the inner workings of the TARDIS--which ate my coat by the way, and then went to the wrong time period. But if it make you feel better, I came here before seeing the Master."

"Maybe all three, who knows."

She drags him back up the stairs into a small kitchen on the top floor, music playing in the background as she shuts the door behind him. Something dance-y knowing her.

"I am offended!" There's a grin and some fake huffing. And he's totally fine being dragged. 

"You are such an idiot sometimes."

"I'm too cute to be an idiot. I'm just directionally challenged."