ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

We don’t have voluntary control over our internal organs because our brains don’t trust us enough to keep ourselves alive.

The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.

I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because “You guys kept flirting” but I was like “We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do.” I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was

is this Polygon Castlevania monsterfucker Zelda canon timeline read-every-book-in-Skyrim guy?

yeah

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny