She froze, feeling breath coming out in sharp hitches rather than smooth. Belle kept holding her breath, only taking breath when sheād absolutely needed to. Almost like she thought remaining still and not breathing would help her hide. He was angry with her and she knew that, but it was honestly comforting. For both the fact that he was making progress toward being himself and the fact that he did want to be closer to her. Sheād felt so distanced since Rose had no rules and he so easily opened up to being her papa rather than being her husband. Belle threw it all aside, turning around and grabbing him rather quickly. She hugged him, holding him as tightly as she could. It was almost like she was afraid heād vanish if she released even a little bit.Ā āI will always be different⦠She slowly started losing strength in her grip, releasing him to just let herself drop to her knees in front of him. āIām sorry, Rumple. Iām so sorry for pushing you away. Th-they said I needed to make you feel loved and accepted⦠But, that I couldnāt be intimate because it would confuse you. To be patient. Itās so difficult, Rumple⦠Itās just soā¦ā She looked up at him, quickly looking back down before she could really make out his expression. She didnāt want to know if it was fear, she couldnāt.Ā āI-I⦠Youāre my husband. Iām so used to coming to you with all of this, to you handling everything. Iām so used to kissing you and touching you, to letting you be here for me. But, they told me not to push you. Youāre not the man you were, youāre not as strong. I-I⦠I tried to tell them it wasnāt true, that you were still my husband. Th-that I still loved you and that I need you. But, they keep saying youāll need to be taken from me if I canāt keep things appropriate and help you get better. And I keep⦠I keep calling Zelena, trying to anyway. I keep calling her and then I remember that sheās the reason for all of this. She held our daughter, she talked me into trying to move on⦠Assured me you had ran off when you found out I was pregnant before I could tell you. Rumple, Iām so sorry. Iām so sorry I stopped looking for you. Bae never gave up, but I did⦠I believed you were gone a-and you were right in front of me. And you still feel so goneā¦ā Belle blinked away the tears as much as she could, trying to catch her breath. He had started all of this by insisting and trying to be close to her, but sheād exploded. Sheād gone on a wild ride of emotional insanity, telling him far more than any of them thought he could handle. And, more than that, sheād let herself show him just how weak she was. Sheād wished she could take it all back, to go back and simply deflect his words like she should have. But, she couldnāt. The jar had been opened and she couldnāt close it completely.Ā āRumple⦠I-I⦠I shouldnāt have done that. You donāt need this.ā
He hadnāt expected her to hug him, but he hugged her back, arms wrapping tightly around her to hold her close. Because he liked being close to her and somehow he could sense she needed to be close to him. And then she fell to her knees before him and he dropped down too, confused at just what was happening but longing to try and help her. And then she was talking about needing him but people telling her she shouldnāt. About missing Zelena, something that honestly relieved him because he missed her too, sometimes. He understood that she was bad, and he didnāt miss a lot of the things, like being in a cage and all. But he did miss knowing exactly what was expected of him. But the worst then was when Belle said he still felt gone, even though he was here. Because he was trying his best but it wouldnāt enough and that hurt more than anything else could.Ā āYouāre wrong there,ā he muttered, hand reaching out to wipe away the tears on her face, as if rubbing them away could force all the sadness out of her.Ā āI do need this. I... it helps, knowing you trust me with that. And knowing you want to be close to me too.ā He moved to sit on the ground instead of kneel, since his bad ankle was starting to hurt. He remembered Zelena making him kneel for hours at a time, unmoving. Belle wouldnāt do that to him.Ā āI... I wish I could just fix all of this like you need me to. But... well since I canāt maybe we can fix it together?ā He hated that she kept trying to fix it on her own. He wanted to help her in every way he possibly could. She just had to let him.Ā āI know Iām not who I used to be, and I know that this is weird for you but... please let me be closer. Please? Keep telling me things like this, let me try and be there for you like you are for me. I just want to know that Iām not just the shell of the man you knew, just something you have to protect out of obligation. I want to know I contribute. Please let me?ā