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@thecrowsnestpub
“Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Does it look like I’m kidding, lass?” Edmund asked, arching a single eyebrow at her. “Your Imperial friend is holed up in the basement; he’s naked, and I want him gone before he touches any of my stuff. Did you bring the clothes like I asked?”
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“Whiskey. My head is killing me. Do you have any whiskey?”
One look at the Imperial and Edmund got the distinct feeling that he wouldn’t care what he drank from, even if it was an old boot. He fished out an opened bottle from behind the counter and slid it over to him.
“Just don’t puke in here, or I’ll use your head as the mop to clean it up,” he warned.
“Where are my clothes?”
“I was wondering the same thing,” Edmund said with a growing scowl. “Cover up,” he said in a way that left no room for discussion and tossed the dishrag towards Asher.
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“This is pointless, isn’t it?”
“What? The Rules? Kinda,” he replied and ran a hand through his hair. “Some nights I think it would be of more use if I took it down and started beating people with it, but then there are nights like these where the customers are much more pleasant,” he continued and gently bumped her on the shoulder for emphasis.
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“Alright, c’mon. You’re just messing with me, right?”
“Would I do that?” He asked, inclining his head slightly and placed a hand over his chest in a feigned offended gesture. “It’s like you don’t know me at all, lass.”
The smirk hidden in his beard said otherwise, however, and soon enough he was grinning down at her. “Alright, so maybe I exaggerated a little bit,” he held up his index and thumb finger with barely any space between them, “just a tiny bit, but only to the best effect.”
“Never thought I’d get clocked for it.”
“You should be glad that’s all they did,” Edmund replied with a somewhat apologetic frown as he reached out for the Dunmer’s chin. He gently tipped his head back so he could get a better look, and made a face at the bruise that already begun to form. “Whew, that’s a shiner, and it ain’t gonna look pretty tomorrow,” he whistled and released Dram, then handed him a clean, wet and cold cloth
“Look, I was bringing you this back.”
In truth, he’d never expected to see the food container again, but after the ruckus last night it was a pleasant surprise. “Thanks, lass,” he replied with a small smile.
“Did you come here just to return this or can I get you something?”
“Did I totally embarrass myself last night?”
“Depends on what you be counting as embarrassing, lad,” The Nord replied gruffly with a poorly contained smirk.
“If you be of the prim and proper persuasion, then aye, you might wanna feel a little embarrassed,” the hand wiping down the counter stilled and he leaned forward on his elbow. “You paid a lady of the evening ten times her usual fare, then you bought her dinner and the two of you sat over in the corner there for hours just talking.”
”She then walked you to your room where she tucked you in.”
HOUSE RULES:
I: Bartender is always right
II: If bartender is wrong, please see rule nr. I.
III: If you drink to forget, pay in advance
IV: If you are still standing you need another drink
V: Brawlers will be taken outside
VI: Nobody's ugly after midnight
VII: No credit
VIII: In the event of an inspection by the guards; drink fast.
IX: Do not leave with liqour; drink up or leave it.
X: Talk of religion and politics is not allowed unless between those of the same faith or political party
XI: Bartenders are not licensed to dispense psychiatric services, but are free to provide private counseling at their own leisure after hours
XI A: If you buy a girl a drink and she refuses, she doesn't like you
XI B: If you buy a girl a drink and she accepts it, she still may not like you
XII: When dropping cigarette butts on the floor, be careful not to burn customers leaving on their hands and knees.
~
My bar. My rules. Party on.
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Happy Death Day sentence starters
130 starters feel free to change gender pronouns ’read-more’ added for length content warning: alcohol mention, cussing, drug mention, sexual themes, violence
“Oh, hey. You’re up. Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to sleep in or not, so…”
“Where are my clothes?”
“Uh, don’t know if you remember my name or not. You were pretty wasted last night.”
“Tylenol. My head is killing me. Do you have any Tylenol?”
“Not a word of this to anyone. Got it?”
“Nice one, dickhead.”
“You haven’t… returned any of my texts.”
“Okay, _____, we went on A date. One. I don’t have to text you back.”
“I mean, who takes their first date to Subway? It’s not like you have a foot-long.”
“Does this look infected to you?”
“Someone drank my kombucha.”
“Oh my god. You sneaky little beyatch. Who was it?”
“Did I totally embarrass myself last night?”
“Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Yeah, I think she was as drunk as you last night, so consider it collective amnesia.”
“Oh… crap, I’m so late for class.”
“Did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?”
“How did you find out?”
“Wait, you two know each other?”
“Look, I was bringing you this back.”
“So, I guess I don’t need to ask what you’re doing here.”
“Look, _____… It’s none of my business, but I think something like this is bound to have some pretty serious consequences.”
“You’re right. It is none of your business.”
“We can’t do this today. There’s too much going on in the building.”
“What time you going to the party tonight?”
“I sat in that restaurant waiting for you for over an hour. I can’t believe you would do this to me, today of all days.”
“It’s like you’ve been here before.”
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
“I’m totally having déjà vu right now.”
“It’s supposed to mean, like, someone’s thinking about you while they’re masturbating. I have it at least five times a day.”
“You okay? You were kind of a mess last night.”
“I’m not falling in love with you.”
“Uh, that’s kind of a buzzkill.”
“Thank God you locked the door.”
“There’s your stalker. He’s so hot.”
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