A Suicide Note from a friend
whichever way I did it, whether it was slitting my wrists or throat or starving myself or 'accidentally'
stepping into traffic at the wrong time, I want you, the reader, whoever cared enough to try to get some
answers, to know that the source of my depression, irritation, apathy, anxiety, self-hatred, self-inflicted
wounds, secrets, prayers for death, pleads for it all to end, all of it stemmed from the one they call marie
dulene brenord-pierre, the one who I was deceived into calling 'mom' for 19 or 20 years. it was all her
fault. every drop of blood, every fallen tear, every restless night, tearful day, painful week, it was all her.
many grow up with abusive parents. many grew up in similar or even worse situations than mine, where
they are tormented day and night by a so-called parent, with literally no one but themselves to dry their
tears and push on through the next day. many are in similar situations where one parent is the abuser,
and the other is an enabler, merely standing by while they are bulldozed every waking moment, or
assuming the position of a false confidant, only to run off to the more aggressive parent to tattle on you
as tragic as this all is, it is too common in our society and I am sick of being voiceless in a country that
claims to love me and be on my side. I am sick of the lack of resources for unemployed victims of abuse
or those who simply cannot afford $ 75 therapy sessions and choose to go for the $ 3 pack of razors
instead. and mostly, I am sick of living a sad excuse for a life.
I am sick of constantly having to shield my chest from her scanning eyes to avoid her fucking disgusting
comments about me and my body and my "saggy breasts that resemble an aged mother's" or boobs
that "need a fucking bra to stay upright". to that, I say fuck you. fuck you to the highest degree. fuck you
and also why don't you choke on one of my saggy breasts and see how that makes you feel. fuck you for
feeling like you had permission to verbally harass me about my body while yours resembles 230 pounds
fuck you for thinking you had a right to see my naked body. fuck you for forcing me to expose my
fucking vagina to you because you wanted me to "prove" my virginity to you, clearly a skilled
gynecologist capable of bending the laws of biology, and fuck you even harder for trying to shove a
plastic water bottle inside me to try and prove a point. fuck you for ripping my clothes off day after day
while no one else was home to scan me with your filthy evil eyes and decide that I was a slut. fuck you
for breaking into my room with a knife while my door was locked to yell at me and threaten to slash me
across the face for not unlocking the door when you demanded me to. and fuck 911 for ignoring my calls
for help the entire time it was happening.
thank you for constantly telling me at the ripe age of 12 years old that you regret giving birth to me.
thank you for always stating and proving that jeffrey was your favorite child. thank you for asking my
cousins in front of me if they thought of me as a slut in the same way you did. thank you for breaking
down the bathroom door while I was trying to lock myself away from you and your insults. thanks so
much for destroying my bedroom while I was away at work to try to break me. I hope you burn in hell
for all the fun times we've had together. if I end up down there too, I promise I will treat you just the
it's finally over and I'm sure I couldn't be happier. one of us had to go, and I got tired of waiting. a life
with you is no life I'd wish on my worst enemy, who, evidently, is you. no one, not even hitler, or trump,
or bin laden deserve the torture and subsequent death sentence that you've brought upon me, and I'm
glad that I was the only one who had to deal with it. so with that, I bid you farewell, I hope to never
stumble upon your presence again, and I ask that god strikes you before you get the chance to treat
anyone else in such a way.
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