Dylan Shae

Me at Applebees trying to drink my 13th bahama mama

i’m so bad at remembering the average age for baby milestones like someone will be like “she’s 18 months (:” and i’ll be like “right what can she…… do? teeth? are there teeth?”

“stats?”

Since it’s National Coming Out Day, I’d like to take the time to formally announce that I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this it was only a kiss it was only a kiss

I asked my boyfriend in Canada once, how he deals with polar bears because I was curious about what to do and he was like, just be calm, let them know you’re there, and give them space and they’ll usually just go away. 

Lmao Finland Man ain’t taking shit from bears.

PERRrrRrrRrKELE

Is that fucking hetalia

she doesn’t have the range

It’s back!

This is real

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

He’s being so careful I’m crying