Forgive me Father for I have sinned

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

middle aged men do this too

reddit, how do I make my firstborn stop playing with the fans, the ornaments, and the makeup when he is supposed to be a warlord. I fear I shall raise a poet.

putting “lying to kids is ok” on the table immediately looks bad. but theres nuance. because kids deserve to have as much context and respect as anyone else you live with. but also. telling them that leaving doors open will make ants carry away the entire house is necessary until their brains can quantify the heating&air bill

This did not go where I expected from the first tweet and now I am laughing so hard I am crying.

okay but the mariner's revenge song is so funny when you consider it from the whale's perspective. you swallow a ship full of sailors but two of them survive and one of them starts singing an absolute banger about how the other fucked his mom and ruined his life so now they're trapped together in your stomach he's going to finally get his revenge. you just know that whale went swimming around the ocean to anyone who'd listen after like "you guys aren't gonna BELIEVE this"

As a Catholic, I love that the secular world is so fascinated by St. Joan of Arc. I just wish they would stop depicting her as a boss bitch or a butch lesbian and see her for the beauty of what she truly was: a teenage girl who really, really hated the English.