thine lover boy

That’s what held me back from reaching out to her for a long time, because I had been told she is just for the girls, or that it would be disrespectful as a boy to want to work with her. As being a boy would be like adding an insidious poison to the sanctuary of her presence. Despite the fact that I only looked upon her with admiration and awe.

But over years I have learned she is not swayed by your gender, rather she looks upon who you are. Being a goddess of love she is compassionate, and she can sense sincerity. If you come to her sincerely, she will accept you. She is a safe space to all, regardless of who you are.

That may have sounded obvious, but I definitely wish I had been told this.

Thank you for teaching me to once again enjoy music the way I want to regardless how I look in the process.

Thank you for teaching me to appreciative the outdoors and the sun in the sky.

Thank you for inspiring me to embrace my disability, ethnicity, my background and the color of my skin.

Thank you for inspiring me to take care of myself.

Thank you for giving me strength to embrace myself and take initiative to change things for the better.

Thank you for giving me that sense of humanity, that sense of function and thank you for making me feel whole.

Lord Apollo, I pray for you to remain with me as long as you deem fit to stay.

He could phase off the earth for days and come back and you’d never know, yet at the same time you miss every second you don’t share. He’s mischievous, elusive. He’s like trying to catch a fish with your hands. Yet at the same time he’s always there the moment it feels you’ve been left by everyone. He’s there to banter, just when you need it. And he seems to know you inside out, despite the fact you couldn’t get a reading on him even if you had your whole life to ponder. He’s noncommittal to being there, but he’s simultaneously committed to being there for you when you need him most. He won’t stay forever, but he’ll always swing back around right when you need him.

He’s an enigma, and I couldn’t love him more for that fact.