𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏,

In a sense, I’m the one who ruined me: I did it myself.

once a girl reported me to an administrator at school bc i was breaking dresscode and she didnt like me. so i pushed her down the stairs. i just kept walking and i dont think she saw me and i never got caught. i know she got very seriously injured and they had to call an ambulance and she transferred schools bc she knew SOMEONE pushed her and she didnt feel safe. ive never regretted it. its been years since i graduated and im on mood stabilizers now, but sometimes when someone is testing my patience i calm myself down by thinking about how good it felt to snap once and how i cant do that again bc i would go to prison probably

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

…and we drink our coffee and pretend not to look at each other.