time waits for no one.

Duuuuuude its so cool how you made ur car go 2 mph faster and sound like it was taking a shit... I bet it was pretty expensive, to make your car sound like it was poopshitting and farting whenever you accelerate slightly. Thats so cool.

guy who does buddhism slightly wrong and ends up in nevada after he dies

sometimes i fantasise about people shutting the fuck up

SPEΛKING FROM EXPERIENCE: IT'S KIND OF BOTH. INHΛLE THROVGH MOVTH, EXHΛLE THROVGH GILLS.

Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I'm simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time

Maybe we can slow-roll abolition by requiring every cop down to the meter maid level pass the bar exam. If that doesn't work we up it to PhD.

guy who is stuck in a timeloop but is too socially anxious to bring it up to anybody or change their routine just in case it turns out they're mistaken. like yeah you're pretty sure that it's been november 3rd for two weeks now but idk maybe that's the depression talking. it's fine.

if you wiped every ICE agent off the face of the earth, a hundred million people would become safer overnight. if you wiped every furry off the face of the earth, the entire internet would collapse for good in a matter of hours. i know where my allegiances lie.

so lame that rich people tend to just wear a lot of business casual. if i had infinite money id at least get a little creative with my appearance. get my teeth replaced with diamonds or get my ears pointed by a skilled plastic surgeon or something. cmon man.

And don't forget to stay up til 3 am every night doing nothing productive for no reason every day for a month