The number of girls Eli had had in his room over the years could be counted on one hand, and out of them, Bianca was included. Not in the way he might have hoped, but she was the most frequent visitor of them all. It was hard to keep his thoughts locked safely in his head when left in such close quarters with her, tucked away in their own corner of the world when she stayed over. Bianca waltzed around his room as if she knew every piece of it â and she probably did. Eli was already settled in his sweats and a t-shirt, seating himself on his bed while Bianca rifled through his dresser drawers. They were practically domestic with one another, ironically enough. There were bits of Bianca all over Eliâs room, ranging from her clothes, to the occasional perfume or hair tie sheâd left behind. He couldnât imagine living in a space where she wasnât rooted into it somehow. Their existences were entwined in a way that Eli couldnât picture himself ever disengaging from. Propping himself up both of his elbows, Eli opened his mouth to say something, looking up to where Bianca was standing. But the thought was lost as soon as he laid eyes on her. This wasnât unusual. In fact, he ought to have been desensitized to her changing right next to him. Quickly, Eli averted his gaze, never failing to get flustered and a bit guilty at catching a sight of her body. She had a dancerâs frame, lean and slender, but her curves were undeniably appealing.Â
Swallowing down the dry feeling in his throat, Eli only looked back to her once she was clothed, his lips curling into a fond smile when he noticed the shirt she donned. âThat always looked better on you than me.â he commented softly, his train of thought derailed as she posed her question. To say it brought Eli up short would have been an understatement. âThatâs a random question.â he murmured, grinning nervously as he sat up a bit straighter. Heâd asked himself that several times over the years, and the answer had always been the same; he was terrified of being rejected by her. It felt like an inevitability that she would let him down gently, which might even be worse to endure than a straightforward ânoâ. The kind of guys Bianca involved herself with differed so much from Eli. He knew better than to hope that her preference might miraculously shift to something likening him. But this was Bianca, and he realized she was going to pester him for an answer. Dodging it would get him nowhere. âBecause I respect you, and Iâd never spring that sort of thing on you, knowing you wouldnât want to.â he answered, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. It wasnât the complete truth, but it was as close as he could get without making the conversation painfully awkward â or just painful in general. He scoffed at both her confident words and her teasing, rolling his eyes at her. âIâm very straight, my near-celibacy has done nothing to change that.â he replied, sidestepping the topic for just a second longer. âDonât you think itâd be weird, kissing someone you probably see as a brother?â he asked, carefully phrasing it so he wasnât applying that sentiment to himself. Eli certainly didnât see Bianca as a sister, but was sure the inverse could be said. âI mean, if youâre willing to try an innocent kiss and test whether or not it makes you barf later, Iâm not going to stop you.â he joked, or, mostly joked. It was more so wishful thinking, thinly veiled by humor.
It was funny how relaxed Bianca was able to feel in a room that wasnât hers. The concept was far from foreign to her. Even at a very early age Bianca would always feel more comfortable at places that werenât hers. Whether it was a friends bedroom, the ravine, or some random guys apartment; It felt more comfortable than somewhere that was meant for her. The distance she occasionally put between herself and her reality is what made her feel the most safe. The way Bianca rummaged through Eliâs room, to anyone else, would seem domestic, and it was - in the most innocent sense of the word. She took the common phrase make yourself at home very literal. A small smile appeared on her face as she looked down at the Dead Hand shirt she absentmindedly threw on. âItâs the boobs.â she assured. The shirt itself held a lot of significance for Bianca. It was a shirt that sparked the only friendship that mattered to her. Although they were already acquainted they didnât begin to bond over common interests until he came into school one day wearing the band tee. The article of clothing meant a lot more to her than Eli knew.Â
Bianca was eager to see Eliâs reaction to the question she posed. Although earlier she mentioned how one of the things that made her pursue a friendship with him was the fact that he didnât try anything with her, Bianca couldnât help but let her mind wander into that âwhat ifâ territory. His question was honest and exactly what she expected it to be, but there was one thing he said that bothered her. âHow do you know I wouldnât want to? Its not like you ever asked.â She was unsure as to why she was so offended by his assumption. Its wasnât as if she had shown any interest in him over the years. Truth is, even though she wondered several times why the two have never hooked up she never once took a second to think of Eli in any way other than a friend. She wasnât sure if she wanted to think of him in any way other than that. Laughing in response to his playful quip, she kept the banter going. âI donât know, Goldsworthy. You sure the heterosexuals of the world arenât gonna shun you after they find out you have a girl in your room almost every night who changes in front of you, and sleeps in your bed while you just sit there and do nothing about it? Iâd be careful. They might take your membership away.â Bianca thought about her next response carefully, unsure of how to answer at first. Her an Eli were close like siblings, but she found it a tad creepy to think of him as a brother; Especially while exploring the current topic she laid out. âI donât know. I wouldnât exactly use the word brother, especially since I just got half naked and crawled into bed with you. If our lives were some cheesy 80s movie youâd be the cute, dorky best friend with a heart of gold.â she corrected with a quiet laugh.Â
The next sentence that left his lips caught Bianca off guard. The last thing she was expecting was for him to propose an experiment. Whether it was meant as a joke or not didnât matter to the curious girl. She was willing to give it a shot and see what would come of her bold move. âOkay.â She said with a simple shrug. Without stopping to think she sat up and tucked a few curls behind her ear. Within the same second she had scooted herself closer to the boy propped up next to her, now only an inch or two away from his face. It wasnât until her eyes met his that she stopped to take a second to realize what she was about to do. Her face lingered close to his momentarily as she felt her heart drop into her stomach. It was as if she was seeing Eli for the first time. Really seeing him. Never would she have imagined herself looking at him in the way she was now. It was all too confusing for her brain to process. âAnd I immediately regret this.â she admitted in a soft whisper. Moving back to her side of the bed, even further from him than she was before, Bianca kept her composure brushing off the situation as if it was nothing. âI guess that answers that question. Weâre clearly destined to be platonic.âÂ