MADE FROM SCRATCH

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

Women with big curly red hair always have like 12 gay guy friends why is that

If I start my sentence with "Girl" I mean it in a gay way like I'm about to bitch to you about my coworkers who I hate and who I am nothing but nice to. If I start my sentence with "Maaan" I mean it in a tired teen boy way. Like Shaggy learning that he's eaten the last of his vile sandwiches

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

honestly there’s no place I feel more alive than at a ghost concert

not to be a slut but i would love to sleep next to someone

not to be a slut but i would love to be gang banged by a small group of 9-10 of my most cherished friends

introvert vs extrovert quiz in the early 2000s:

not a wolf, not a dog, but a secret third thing