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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@theatricalidiot

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ideal relationship is whatever Ted and B have going on in Ted the Caver. Letâs take a nap in a cave and experience The Horrors together
Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breath. Repeat. Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breaht. Repeat.
Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breath. Repeat.
Exhale. ScootScoo tstoP. Stop to catch breath. Repeat. . ..Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breath. Repeat.
Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling
đĽşđĽş
moment of truth, hank. am i a living being, or just a machine?

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friend has been writing maggot baits fanfic that actually does what the game doesnt (worldbuilding and actually giving theses characters anything) and has been endeared by alison, funny magical girl that eats glue
it's not so much that a cyclops is monstrous because a one-eyed giant who eats people must be a monster; it's that anyone who does not follow your laws, your customs, your culture must be a monster.
polyphemus eats his guests not because he's a cannibal â cannibalism also being a taboo that applies to humans, and he's not human â but because he doesn't follow xenia. polyphemus says to odysseus "we don't respect zeus here," but odysseus approaches polyphemus as if polyphemus is the foreigner. he expects his customs (which serve him, a conquering hero) to take precedence, even though he is the one away from home. he's been away from home for over ten years.
because to odysseus, there's not much difference between the trojans (the city he's sacked) or the cicones (a people he raided on the way home) and polyphemus, right? except that polyphemus is able to turn the tables. he is a monster, not in the sense that he is not a human being â the trojans have not been treated as human beings â but because he can insist that his law be respected in his own home.
and it's not that odysseus can't adapt. look at how differently he approaches nausicaa, or even circe. but his perspective is what we wayfind by, and all the while odysseus, at troy and during the wanderings, is himself foreign.
and then he comes to phaeacia and weeps over songs of war. and then he comes home and doesn't recognize it. and then divine intervention both hides him from and reveals him to his son and wife. and then he has to conquer his own homeland. and then the poem ends, abrupt and final journey spoken of but unresolved. and each of these things makes his perspective strange to himself, and by extension to us. it is exactly at the moment odysseus comes home that he believes himself to be lost, foreign, for good.
happy appy fanarty
whatever man
this is my Happy Appy mii i spent an hour on and no i really do not want to talk about it

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what am i doing vro
the fact that people are in the odyssey tags criticising the nolan movie for its changes to the original myth (valid) only to then turn around and recommend epic: the musical of all things as a âmore accurateâ alternative is hysterical like please. letâs be serious now
& honestly there's no debate to be had the zendaya earrings are orders of magnitude worse than kim kardashian wearing that marilyn dress. yes that piece was a one of a kind unique textile made so specifically for marilyn monroe she had to be sewn into it. at the end of the day it was a ~70 year old usamerican cultural artefact being repurposed by an american for an american cultural event and everyone involved knows exactly where the dress came from + what happened to it + where it went afterwards. zendaya is wearing the looted (or forged) cultural heritage of a people her government is currently bombing & whose lives they have been deliberately making unliveable for decades to a movie premiere that has fuck all to do with iran. we don't know where those discs came from where they were found or by whom & we never will. AND the jeweller appears to have altered them substantially from their original condition. destroying a people's cultural heritage at the same time you destroy their country + their lives so you can look good on a red carpet One Time i want to fucking hurl
ok ive seen nolans odyssey and what the fuck was that actually
Parts that made me tweak in a dim-lit movie theater:
1. Every time we meet a woman or enslaved individual that, yâknow, had some semblance of agency in the text, Nolan has just⌠removed that? Circeâs commanding presence & how she genuinely overpowers Odysseus? Gone. Helen actually stealing the show in Book 4 where she walks down into the room and controls the conversation re: Odysseus & Troy? Gone. Utterly Gone. Lupita Nyongâo gets 0 chance to speak on her own terms and its actually so depressing. Also Iâm genuinely unsure here but it seemed like Circe & Calypsoâs divine status was⌠nonexistent?? Theyâre both goddesses but apparently not to Christopher Nolan đŤ¤
And this treatment extends to Odysseusâ slaves, specifically Eumaeus & Eurycleia (eurynome & philoetius not appearing in this goddamn film ifg). Almost every action taken by Eurycleia in the Odyssey is attributed to someone else in Nolanâs adaptation, she gets 0.2 seconds of screentime, its actually absurd. I think she has two lines in the whole movie. Eurycleia. Odysseus and Telemachusâ nurse. The woman who canonically organizes the doors to be locked during the suitorâs slaughter? Who canonically helps secure Telemachusâ provisions for Pylos? fuckin. Not There. And Eumaeus (who literally perfectly models xenia to a disguised Odysseys while living in extreme poverty) notably Does Not Get To Do That in Nolanâs odyssey, instead heâs like. injured I guess? Iâm so fuckin confused as to why that happened, it just made the plot more convoluted. Medon is also just not there at all. Medon who is actually the fuckin best?? My underestimated king??? Where Is He.
2. oh my god everything abt the scene with Polyphemus makes me want to claw my eyes out (except maybe his eye? that looked kinda cool idfk). yknow how polyphemus appears, speaks to the crew, and they let their guard down? how the polyphemus episode represents the world outside of greek customs like xenia? how he fucking talks to them? he talks to them and his neighbors? yeah. in Nolanâs odyssey, there are no neighbors. there is no existential mirror/cyclopean foil to ithacan society. there are no other cyclopes. He doesnt even fucking talk đđ <- i mean he gets one line but the audios so distorted that without captions i had no idea what he said
3. Anticleia reunion scene? Nonexistent. Laertes? Nonexistent. Allegedly still around. Sir Not-Appearing In-This-Film. Book 15 reunion between Telemachus and Odysseus? Nonexistent. Reunion between Odysseus, Eumaeus, and Philoetius? Not there. The fucking marriage bed scene? The goddamn marriage bed? NOT THERE. screams into a bag
4. ODYSSEUS âDIDNT WANT TO RETURN HOMEâ đ they keep fucking saying this over and over again too and. No he very much did. No home means no guaranteed kleos guys. his sons life is in jeopardy but Ok christopher shitlan do whatever the fuck you want, i guess
5. every time i heard them say âour civilization is collapsingâ or âthey say the peoples from the sea are attackingâ or âour age of bronze is endingâ not only did i feel my soul die a little more inside but i also kept thinking âman, this sounds a lot like the white supremacist belief in âwestern civilizationâ just superimposed onto a falsified image of the late bronze ageâ and thats because It Is.
strange decisions:
1. boar scar apparently occurred when odysseus was an adult???
2. elliot pageâs sinon gets one helluva backstory which i guess was kinda cool if you ignore elliot page getting brutally slaughtered in the first 30 seconds of the movie? not sure how to feel about that
3. travis scott kept showing up randomly which was like. fine i guess? genuinely im not sure what the difference between him & phemius was supposed to be. i didnt even see phemius. tbf i was taking notes this whole time so maybe i missed him? but travis scott shouldve just been phemius idfk why he wasnt
4. The Phaecians are just not there guys and i have no idea why. odysseusâ wanderings are being narrated to calypso?
5. the crew mutinies at scylla instead? odysseus tries to sail towards charybdis??? this was a bizarre sequence
6. no nestor or peisistratus. somehow telemachus sails to the 100% inland palace of menelaus. who needs a chariot when youâve got a Boat i guess
7. half of my notes just say âwhat happened to show, donât tellâ because the amount of exposition made me want to slam my head into the wall
highlights:
1. anne hathaway and tom holland had a very good dynamic, i feel like they really captured some of the tension between penelope & telemachus, ie penelope running the house for 20 years and still assuming some of that authority vs. telemachus trying to grow up/assume control of the household/establish his own kleos. loved that dynamic tbh. one of the better parts of the telemachy sections
2. lupita nyongâo was great in the uh. 30 seconds she had on screen. im so serious helen was fucking robbed in this movie
3. himesh patel fucking carried every scene he was in on his Back
4. rare cicones appearance
maybe the real sea peoples was the troy we sacked along the way
Super cute Terrie Smith drawing from The (New) Centaurs Gatherum issue 30!

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love how goetheâs faust is like i am so hungry. i have been shoveling the ashes of the world into my belly searching for a crust of bread, stupidly searching, killing myself for a world that does not have bread anymore. since there is no bread, let mephistopheles bring me gold to eat. let him chop silver into salads and boil diamonds for my soup, and let me live like that until the day i am fullâthat is to say, let me live forever. and then marloweâs faustus is like 24 years of demon boyfriend sounds good to me. does it sound good to you? it sounds good to me