The Adoption Blog

So… where’s your real family?

But that’s not your actual sister, right?

So… your parents basically bought you?

Wow, your other parents must have really hated you to give you up.

You know that’s not your real brother, right?

You should be grateful that your parents rescued you.

You would probably be dead if your parents hadn’t adopted you.

So… no one in your family is your, like, real family, right?

So… you know you’re adopted, right?

Wow, your family basically stole you. I bet your real family would be so much better

*feel free to repost* let’s get the conversation started

We can be as real as we want to ❤️

I hate being adopted so much

I feel like nobody ever talks about the fact that adoption and foster care is traumatizing for so many kids. For people on the outside, adoption seems like the end of a long and heartbreaking story, as if being adopted solves the problem. 

Yay! You’re finally in a loving family instead of a toxic one! How Happy and Uplifting! 

No.

And while I can fully see how incredible and amazing it can be for a couple to finally have a child when they thought they couldn’t,

it’s Not That Simple. In order to be in foster care, or adopted, it means that the kid’s birth parents could not, (or would not), take care of them. and it’s fucking heartbreaking. ((I know I’m not speaking for everyone- For many foster kids and adoptees, it is a relieving experience to finally be away from a toxic household.))

But still, adoptees gotta deal with so many different emotions regarding parents and attachment issues that are pretty unique, and very harmful. I know all our experiences are different, but I just wish there were more resources and more information regarding the emotional struggles that children have to go through during the whole process, because it’s really, 

really not easy to live with and have to process every day.

I was adopted by white people. They always said I was white, though it’s pretty obvious I’m a giant mix of things (DNA says: European, India, and middle East). I just kind of went along with it until I was 18 or 19 because I didn’t really think twice about it, but with DNA testing, it really hit home I’m a mutt in regards to race.

In the grand scheme of things

I do not care if your great uncle murdered someone

I do not care if your 4x great aunt raped someone

I do not care if your cousin twice removed had a child out of wedlock

I do not care if your 3x great grandma was a plantation slave ower or somehow otherwise participated in any kind of slave trade

If you’re adopted internationally into the United States, BY adoption LAWS you’re legally a citizen, but you still have to apply for documentation and if it’s not done by the age of 18 you have to pay over $500 and get a judge to reopen your adoption case. 

Even More Fun Fact: No one actually tells adoptive families, this so many find out after they’re 18 when their kid needs to get a passport, wants to apply for financial aid, get certain jobs, vote or some other shit that requires proof of citizenship and now it’s too late because they’re 18 or over. 

AND EVEN MORE FUN FACT! You can sometimes even be deported because you can be considered foreign-born, non-citizens! 

Oh and they won’t accept adoption papers or a birth certificate as proof. 

Many people are finding that even a birth certificate is not valid proof anymore. Texas birth certificates are notorious. So notorious that I have 3 friends who can’t use them to get passports! Don’t think everything is hunky dory. You must nail down your citizenship.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/filling-out-form-n-600-application-certificate-citizenship.html

Also! It takes up to 12 months to get a replacement certificate. If you urgently need your Natz Cert to visit your dying relative in another country, the word you want to use is ‘Expedite’. Not ‘ASAP’. Not ‘rush’. Expedite. Write a letter explaining why you need it expedited, if you do. Otherwise the USCIS data-entry grunts (me!) aren’t allowed to throw it into the expedite line and it gets relegated to the Backlog Crypts. 

Also! You need to get a new Naturalization Certificate if your name and/or gender legally changes, because a lot of places want your proof of citizenship for things like Social Security and student loans and Medicaid/EBT/welfare benefits and drivers’ licenses. 

ALSO ALSO both the N600 ($600) that you use to apply for your Naturalization Certificate in the first place and N565 ($345) that you use to apply for a replacement certificate are eligible for FEE WAIVERS. It’s called an I912. Learn it, love it, use it. 

Just pleading for information about my biological family

Does anyone else ever feel like you’ve been robbed of your experiences regarding one or more of your cultural backgrounds but at the same time feel kinda wrong trying to look into it?

I’ve basically grown up white and never really got to experience really being Vietnamese at all and due to being the only one of my heritage in my family. I feel like at this point looking into it would be wrong or something so I pretty much just don’t.

BLUE The night is dark and silent The thoughts come rolling in And hour after hour I wonder where you’ve been

If you ever think of me In this deep dark night? As when the moon above us shines I sometimes think you might

At one point we were one So long ago it seems a crime But our bond is of a love One that will outlast time

If I ever saw you again I’d ask how you’ve been keeping? All I’d need is just one look Our time all too fleeting

To say that I don’t miss you Would be an outright lie Without you I am lost I’m trying to get by

I wonder where you are When we’re so far apart You’re already gone But never from my heart

I can’t ever let it out Or the sadness will grow So until we meet again It’s best you don’t know