The Asexual Experience

Lesbians: Why are all the hot girls straight?

Straight Girls: Why are all the hot guys gay?

Gay Guys: Why are all the hot guys straight?

Bisexual People: WHY ARE ALL THE HOT PEOPLE TAKEN?

Pansexual People: everyone is hot what do I do

Person: How do you know, like a hundred percent sure, that you are asexual if you've never had sex? You might have not met the right person and lots of people enjoy sex.

Me: I'll answer your question with a question of my own.

Person: Okay.

Me: How do you know you wouldn't like lying on a bed of nails?

Person: What?

Me: How do you know? There are tons of people who do it, and some find it very enjoyable. They even get paid!

Person: W-Well, I don't think I'd be comfortable with that…

Me: Why? How do you know that you wouldn't be comfortable with it if you've never tried it?

Person: I don't need to try it to know I wouldn't like it!

Me: But you might not have found the right bed of nails yet! They come in so many different ways, how do you know that you just haven't found the right type yet?

Person: I DON'T HAVE TO TRY A BED OF NAILS TO KNOW I DON'T WANT IT!!!!

Person: …

america: asexual? what do you mean?

america: you just have to wait for the right person!!1

Homosexual: sexual attraction to houses and other building like structures.

Heterosexual: an undying lust for Macklemore.

Asexual: attraction to any and all things beginning with the letter A.

Pansexual: a desire for pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils.

Polysexual: sexual attraction to polygons.

Bisexual: Attraction to the 9th century Chinese army officer Bi Shiduo.