Wyzer

🎄Happy "On the sixteenth day I opened up the window, found a lump of coal and rammed it down my stupid, greedy throat" day to those who celebrate! 🎄

lol this slaps

HOLD BABY JESUS RANSOM UNTIL ST. ANTHONY RETURNS YOUR FREAKING KEYS

There's an entire category of Catholic folk magic that involves threatening and abusing statues of the saints until they do what you want! A famous example is burying a statue of St Joseph upside down in your yard to sell your house; once it's sold, you dig up the statue and "reward" it. The folklorist Sabina Magliocco talks about how Italian folk magic, in particular, has a strong quid pro quo element: in Sardinia, for example, villagers would throw parades for saints and carry their statues around town to ward off drought, but if the saint failed to come through, they'd dunk it in the well headfirst, and keep doing it until the rains came. So if you buy this statue and Anthony doesn't do his job, you can always waterboard him!

Guys my mom sold me to Alvin and the Chipmunks to pay for her drug addiction

los campesinos is the perfect band because most of the songs are really beautiful and poetic and tackle really hard stuff but then light leave dark sees pt1 is literally just. i loveeee eating pussy. ❤️

actually i think graduates of a university should have access to the library databases forever and ever amen

actually i think everyone should have access to library databases forever and ever amen

i remember learning the word melancholy at age 7 or something and thinking oh this word's gonna be huge for me

do you think the trend “would you still love me if i was a worm” is banned in the archives since the prentiss incident. like. tim says it as a joke once and jon almost spills his coffee on the carpet with how fast he turns around  

kidnapping stalking insanity sleepwalking cannibalism and teeth, gaslighting gun violence pipe murder and silence and medical trauma and meat. bugs in your body and poisoned black coffee and self-mutilation and lies, police brutality breaks from reality suicide spiders and eyes. paaaaaranoia degloving the uncanny valley and running like prey to survive, agonies torture and drowning and falling and then being buried alive.