Nasa Loob

Attachment disorder is where a child or adult is unable to form normal healthy attachments. This is usually due to detrimental early life experiences - such as neglect, abuse, separation from their parents or primary caregivers (after six months of age and before three years of age), frequent change of caregivers, and lack of responsiveness from their caregivers.

Symptoms vary depending on age. In adults, they fall under one of two categories – either avoidant or anxious/ ambivalent personalities. These are summarized below.

1. Avoidant

· Intense anger and hostility

· Hypercritical of others

· Extremely sensitive to criticism, correction or blame

· Lacks empathy

· Sees others as untrustworthy and unreliable

· Either sees themselves as being unlovable or “too good” for others

· Relationships are experienced as either being too threatening or requiring too much effort

· Fear of closeness and intimacy

· Compulsive self-reliance

· Passive or uninvolved in relationships

· Find it hard to get along with co-workers and authority figures

· Prefers to work alone, or to be self employed

· May use work to avoid investing in relationships

2. Anxious/ Ambivalent

· Demonstrates compulsive caregiving

· Problems with establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries

· Feels they give they give more than they get back

· Feels their efforts aren’t noticed or appreciated

· Idealizes people

· Expects their partner to repeatedly demonstrate their love, affection and commitment to them, and the relationship

· Emotionally over-invests in friendships and romantic relationships

· Are preoccupied with close relationships

· Overly dependent on their partner

· Believes that others are out to use them or to take advantage of them

· Fears rejection

· Is uncomfortable with anger

· Experiences a roller coaster of emotions – and often these are extremes of emotion

· Tends to be possessive and jealous; finds it hard to trust

Where the Sidewalk Ends: The Poems and Drawings of Shel Silverstein by Shel Silverstein 

We have a confession: when we were about seven-years old, we dreamt about being poets. The first book to inspire us in becoming major bookworms was Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends. Now, the latest edition released in 2004, is different from an edition we read in the 90s. Containing 12 new poems, we were filled with zest and nostalgia when we laid our eyes once again on Silverstein’s clean illustrations! One of our favorite poems from the new edition is “Invitation.”

If you are a dreamer, come in, If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer… If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!

Silly, imaginative and non-conformist, Silverstein explicitly plays on a person’s imagination. Unorthodox and playful, we recommend you read this book to everyone you know! Where the Sidewalk Ends inspired us to write our first poems and practice our recitation skills in front of any adult, who took the risk of listening to our mumbo jumbo. Nevertheless, we were in fact quirky, ourselves, too. Drawing inspiration from Peggy Ann McKay, we attempted to skip school one day by insisting we were sick. Although we did not fool our mother, we memorized Peggy Ann’s fun rhymes to get us a free day:

"I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash, and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I’m going blind in my right eye."

In case you haven’t noticed yet, this is not an educational or intellectual recommendation, this is a suggestion from the heart. This is one of our personal favorites. We have many memories with Silverstein’s prose, and we dearly wish your revisit one of the most fun poetry books in literature. 

Get the book here! 

College students with an .edu email address click here!