try the blue stuff!

these are taken from the netflix show with the same title, TRIGGERING TOPICS MENTIONED BELOW: PLEASE READ & REBLOG WITH CAUTION, feel free to adjust any you that you deem necessary.

you’re not gonna believe this.

i’m just gutted i can’t be there.

you didn’t have to stay with her/him/them, you know?

you didn’t have to stay when she told you she was pregnant.

i’m sorry.. do i… do i know you?

she made it up. she was never pregnant.

who are you? why are you saying this?

does that really matter?

think of me as a stranger. a stranger that knows.

how do you know my wife? who the hell are you?

let’s get this show on the road.

think of me as a friend that just released you from prison.

you should be thanking me because now you know she’s a liar.

i’m sorry i wasn’t there.

i’ll tell you what it is, some fucking weird shit.

oh, it’s giving me the creeps.

what do you think’s going on there, on the leg? are they bite marks?

i’d say that there’s a reasonable chance that they are human.

it’s not fucking silence of the lambs!

well, you are kind of holding him against his will..

i was a cop for thirty four years. i understand the definition of kidnap.

are you fucking kidding me?

calm down? i’m calling the police!

what is it? [optional:name], where are you going?

did you fake your pregnancy?

what the hell are you talking about?

can we just skip this part? the part where you pretend to not know..

well, if you know, why are you asking?

what else are you capable of?

now, you better start talking right now.

what are you gonna do? keep me captive?

this isn’t what you think. there’s more to this.

let’s do the trip. come on, me and you, thelma and louise across the states.

we all have our secrets, [name:optional].

told me what? what do you mean?

why do you have a llama head in here?

after the rave last night, this clown starts throwing stones at my window.

like, someone must’ve spiked my drink or something.

it’s a pretty cold world out there.. not knowing.. where they’ve gone.. it’s the worst.

do any of you know about a gathering in the woods the other night?

i got what i’ve want, did you see those faces?

they’re hiding something.

your secrets safe with me.

okay, i think i may have found a way to get rid of the alpaca head.

i might have found a way to get the police off your back.

we bury the head in the woods, surrounded by satanic symbols.

what’s actually wrong with you?

shut the fuck up or i will finish you off..

that’s a beautiful ring.

is this some kind of joke?

it’s the internet. everyone leaves a trace. it’s all in here.

i know it’ll take time to come to terms with it but eventually you’ll thank me.

do you plan on telling anyone else?

take the envelope. the proof is in there. now you can expose his secret.

you didn’t reveal a secret. you just created another one.

i can’t help you if you keep shutting me out, okay?

so, how did a bag covered in blood come to be in your possession?

so the bag was carrying a significant amount of blood.

if he dies.. this becomes a murder investigation.

right now, you are the link in all this.

withholding information is a serious crime.

i’m going home. you can stay if you want.

sorry, i have to go to the hospital.

listen… i, i need to tell you something..

think it was something to do with the party?

you haven’t heard? he’s been arrested.

don’t get angry. i spiked him.

makes you wonder what else he could be capable of, doesn’t it?

he’s done some pretty stupid shit but he’s not a bad guy.

does that make me… like, an accessory to murder?

you stay away from my family! you hear me?

this has nothing to do with that.

how many times have you done that?

i take this personal information wasn’t entirely welcomed?

i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you, okay?

are you thick or what? i’m not interested in anything you have to say.

you should be ‘cause you have no idea!

are you really gonna marry this man?

well, you don’t think i’m doing this shit for fun, do you?

well, there’s a fine line between love and madness.

i don’t expect everyone to get it.

who doesn’t want to be loved that much? so madly, so passionate, they’ll risk everything.

if you knew where she went, you would tell us?

why can’t you just be honest with me?

i know all about you.

you’re what they used to call a “ladies man.”

the affairs you’ve had over the years… caused a lot of pain.

i don’t know you and you certainly don’t know me.

you have a child. from one of your affairs. i have proof.

if you’re looking for money you’re gonna have to do better than that.

i need to be on this case.

funny response. i checked the phone records.

i lied… to protect you. as a mate.

why didn’t you come to me? you should of said something.

[optional:name], nobody wants this to be happening.

she said she had a way of proving she was innocent.

i don’t see a domestic dispute being settled with a gun.

stranger things have happened.

someone tried to make it look like a robbery.

who brings a gun to a cake shop?

you got a girlfriend?

i’m sure there’s some rational explanation.

well, the next question is… who put it there?

murdered? i mean, it’s not an accident, is it? someone wanted to hurt her.

why would anyone do this?

we’ll get the bastard who did this.

there’s tea in the pot. and i made some scones earlier.

do you want the scone before or after the hug?

you’re home now. let it out.

don’t answer my next statement with ‘i can’t’.

you’re not gonna suggest sex, are you?

take some time off. you shouldn’t be anywhere near this case.

you didn’t come for small talk.

i can’t handle a really big thing here so you wanna just tell me what you want?

look, what difference doe it make? it was all way back.

for chirst’s sake, what am i doing here?

i don’t know why you’re trawling all this up but it was a mistake.

i need to report a missing person.

do you want the weird news or the really weird news?

i had a ham salad for lunch but my fingers smell like fish. weird.

why was she planning to fly away with you?

are you a lesbian? were you and my mum—

i think my dad’s keeping something from me.

got these terrible cramps but hopefully the fresh air will help.

something seriously strange has gone down.

i’m sure someone knows the truth about all this. it’ll come out. it always does.

something happened recently that made me reflect.

how did that make you feel, experiencing such a new emotion?

did they ask who organized the rave?

you lied to the police?

who organized the rave, and who was dealing, is not their main concern.

i’m measuring their dicks to put an end to an argument.