the nerdy bunch

But I'm getting better. I'm learning how to control my temper. I'm working on my trauma so I don't perceive so many things as threats. I'm working on better communication, which is always a two way street so it's best if my side of the street isn't a fucking minefield. I'm working on not ghosting people (which is so so fucking hard but I'm fucking doing the work).

I have been a bad person. I have done some capital e Evil shit. I've been an asshole, I've hurt people, I've been a bad friend to people who really needed me. And I've apologised to the people I can. I've put in the work to make sure I don't hurt them again. I'm working so fucking hard to be better.

And a lot of that work was only able to be done when people listened to me. I have had to be so vulnerable and say "I suck. Please help me not suck." I've had to give people warnings about myself before becoming friends. My closest circles are the ones where we have understood ways of dealing with me. And if those people hadn't trusted me to change, I never would have had the chance to.

Bad people can become better. If you don't believe that you are creating a self fulfilling prophecy where any mistake or relapse (very common in recovery) is a sign of failure.