The Arcane Archive

We climbed the stone steps out of the courtyard to find Cassandra staring down the remaining templars while Vivienne inspected her nails and Varric wiped down Bianca. The templars were talking amongst themselves, but Barris turned to us upon our setting foot on the landing. He jogged to meet us, Abernache on his heels. They must have rescued the man as they swept for survivors once they'd recovered from breaking the barrier.

Barris opened his mouth to speak, but Abernache beat him to it. "Herald! I sincerely apologize for losing countenance amidst the chaos. That was… unfortunate," he hung his head. "I do hope it won’t affect our concord."

I bristled at the man's words, feeling them as if they were my own, but Meira simply nodded. "Don't worry, you're needed," she stated before turning to Barris in a clear sign of dismissal to the nobleman.

Abernache's shoulders slumped as he murmured, "Wonderful."

Meira hadn't raked him over the coals for his behavior as she could have, but her mercy had delivered a blow to his pride all the same. The same mercy she had extended to me. I clenched my jaw, tightening my hands on the pommel of my sword as they shook with a tremor.

Turning my eyes from the nobleman, they landed on Barris. The man was exhausted, but he stood tall before Meira - shame, humility, determination and a thirst to prove himself in his countenance. "The demon is dead. Andraste be praised: she shielded you from its touch. We’ve numbers across Thedas, but we let this happen. Our officers either failed to see it or were complicit. The templars are ready to hear what the Inquisition needs of us."

Meira looked over the templars, thoughts playing out behind her eyes as she carefully chose her words. "There was corruption here. But also, I see valor and honor in each of you who stood fast. Rise tall again. Help the Inquisition seal the Breach before it swallows us all."

Her words made me stand a little taller myself. Could I rise tall in her eyes once more?

I watched as Barris straightened to his full height, clasping his hands behind his back. "You speak truths we should never have ignored. But the Order is leaderless, gutted by betrayal. We must rebuild it." He looked to Meira in question: he wanted her to answer if they could rebuild or if they needed to join the Inquisition as they were. He was laying the Order's future at her feet. As I was about to protest that the decision should not be hers alone, she spoke. 

"That is not a decision for me to make alone, Ser Barris," Meira shook her head. "I am not the Inquisition. Instead, I feel that should be discussed between myself, you, Commander Cullen and Seeker Cassandra." 

Barris flicked his eyes to me before looking back to Meira. "All due respect, Herald, but you are the one who had faith in us, who helped us succeed. We would gladly follow your direction."

It was true. Though my respect for Barris had only grown through observing his conduct, I had been quick to blame them all for their inaction and complacency in following orders they knew were strange. As if I were one to judge. Cassandra was practically foaming at the mouth for the Order's blood.

Cassandra approached us at Barris's words, her brow furrowed and lip curled. "While I understand your allegiance, Ser Barris, we are talking about either allowing you to rebuild away from our eye—where you could easily fall prey to corruption once more—or dismantling the Templar Order as we know it and having it join the Inquisition." 

"Weighty paths, neither of which should be taken lightly or decided at the whim of one person alone," Meira interjected before she turned to me. "What do you think, Commander?"

Maker, this woman is more than I deserve. After my display, she would still trust my judgment?

I wanted to take her somewhere private and kiss her breathless; to beg her forgiveness for my cowardice. Yet, the shame still twisted my gut, even more so as she asked my opinion. I could hardly bring myself to look at her, feeling unworthy of the mercy and kindness she had shown me when I was the reason she had suffered again. I took a moment before I met her eyes. She was standing tall, looking composed and confident as she awaited my answer. I had worried for her when she'd cried out at the demon's voice in her mind, feeling as her mana writhed sporadically in response to her pain and fear. Now, she felt calm and her mana at peace.

"I agree with the Herald. It is not her decision to make alone."

Cassandra turned to me, her lip curling even more as she prepared to argue, but Meira raised a hand as she cut Cassandra off. "Perhaps we can discuss this more privately?" Meira nodded towards the other templars who were nervously murmuring to each other. "Ser Barris, if you would." Meira gestured for us to follow her as she walked some distance from the crowd. I noticed that she refused to go close to where Envy had burned away.

Cassandra held in her words until Meira stopped, rounding on Barris. "Officers betraying their soldiers, templars without leaders, a demon imitating the Lord Seeker… We should take you to task. The crimes that have been committed—"

"Were committed by their officers," I argued. Despite my anger with their inaction, I understood it well enough. Templars were soldiers first; trained to follow orders which we did not question. I had questioned and it had cost me. Then, I had followed blindly, and it had cost me even more. I knew these men and women were eager to prove themselves worthy of the titles they held, of the tenets they represented. Barris was eager to represent the Order that should be, not the Order that had come to pass. "The soldiers of the Order will serve, will they not, Ser Barris?" Barris offered a salute in response.

"Before we decide anything," Meira stated, "I have some questions." We all looked to her, but she was focused on Barris. "Envy claimed to serve the 'Elder One'. Just like your knight-captain." Who is this Elder One? The Venatori Ser Dorian had warned us about claimed to serve him. Now the templars had fallen prey to one of his servants?

Barris looked alarmed. "Maybe it was to do with the war with the mages, but...I don't know anymore. That is all above me."

"When did the Lord Seeker start taking over?" Meira cocked her head, her brows knitting. She is so beautiful.

"I'm shamed whatever I say," Barris's shoulders fell as his features twisted in bitterness. "If he was fake at the start, we let a demon walk in. If he was genuine, Envy took the Lord Seeker from under our noses. Who knows how long the knight-vigilant has been dead? The knight-captain 'relayed' his orders."

"I need to understand how you could accept the use of corrupted lyrium," Meira demanded, though her voice was gentle as she searched his face. "Your superiors using it or no." 

"We didn’t know it was corrupted," Barris met her eyes, his own earnest. How could they not know? I thought everyone knew after Kirkwall. I sent letters to the other Knight-Commanders. Unless... Templars did not like to admit weakness. Had they somehow covered up the events in Kirkwall? Blamed Meredith's downfall on something else? Or had the rebellion covered up the incident through sheer chaos? "The Lord Seeker only said it was better than Chantry lyrium."

"That’s it?" Meira quirked a brow. That's all it would take for some.

"You have to understand," Barris implored. "All magic is corruptible, all magic is dangerous, and yet all magic can serve. The red lyrium was just a tool. Or so we thought." 

Cover up or no, they knew something was wrong with the red lyrium. I thought of the copied manifest I had found, and the note scrawled at the bottom. "I refuse to believe that you did not hear—" I cut myself off as Meira looked to me, unable to meet her eyes. What would she think of me? To know that I wanted for lyrium so badly that it sang to me? 

"Didn't hear the song?" she murmured in continuation.

My gaze snapped back to her, my brows raising in surprise. "You...you heard it?" I questioned, hardly daring to believe. What does that mean? 

"It was dark and enticing but changed to something truly sinister when the others attacked," she explained. 

"Lyrium...sings to you?" Cassandra asked as she glanced between Barris and I, concern on her face.

"To...some yes," I cleared my throat. "The red lyrium seems to be particularly...loud." I met Meira's eyes, finding a question there, but she didn't voice it as she looked away.

"I never got close enough to the stuff to hear it," Barris admitted. "Those who'd begun to use it were kept separate and the rest of us were being worked to the bone on the Lord Seeker's order. To help 'strengthen' us. Training and duties were doubled. Not only were we not allowed to ask questions, but we were also kept so busy and exhausted that we couldn't." 

Would they have fought if they had seen what became of those who were using it? The outcome of today told me enough. Barris and those who followed him would have fought to their deaths if they had known. Why had the man not mentioned this in his letter? I would have urged a swift response if I'd known. But he'd told me: he was following orders. I gripped my sword hard. Would there comes a day where that was not an excuse for good men in uniform to do nothing? Where being a templar meant you protected and served, even if it meant disobeying your superiors?

I watched as Meira thought for a moment. "I think we need to investigate further before we come to any decisions." She looked to Barris. "No matter what, you and your men will assist us in sealing the Breach. Collect what provisions you can, see to your dead, and question your men to see if they have any further information. We will return in a few hours."

Barris offered another salute before returning to the other templars. Meira looked between Cassandra and I. "The Order is in chaos," she began, "We have to give it a plan before we leave or risk losing it entirely."

"What we found in the captain’s quarters means the officers willingly blighted half their knights with red lyrium," I growled, anger hot in my chest at everything that had happened.

"Even before some of them realized the Lord Seeker was replaced by a demon," Cassandra added.

"There's more," Meira stated, shifting on her feet as her face fell. "While I was in the Fade with Envy, it revealed some of this Elder One's plan—or possible plan, anyway. Who knows how much of it was truth and how much of it was simply to..." She took a deep breath as she shut her eyes tight. Oh, my darling. I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Yet, how could I provide her comfort when I had failed to protect her in the first place? She continued after a moment. "The Conclave and the Breach were only the beginning. Empress Celene assassinated. A demon army. Envy was going to use my face to summon this demon army; as for Celene's murderer, I could find no more. There is a bust of her in the Lord Seeker's quarters along with several stacks of parchment. Perhaps there is more information among his things?"

I grimaced as I recalled the templar's words as he tried to pour red lyrium down my throat. "There is also the matter of Samson." 

Meira looked to me, a brow quriked. "Samson?"

I met her eyes briefly, the shame hitting me again as I noticed her exhaustion. I looked to Cassandra as I spoke. "One of the corrupted templars mentioned Samson, said he 'sends his regards'. Samson was a templar in Kirkwall until he was expelled. We shared quarters briefly while I was there. I lost track of what happened to him after the chaos following the Chantry explosion. We must find out if this Samson is one and the same."

"I say we follow the Herald's suggestion and investigate the Lord Seeker's quarters," Cassandra stated. She looked to me. "Do you want to assist Barris?"

I looked at them both briefly and shook my head. I did not want to leave Meira's side, despite my shame, and I was too angry with the templars to stay amongst them. Angry at myself for understanding all too well their predicament and relating to it. Fearful as well of what being around so many who'd just been freshly dosed with lyrium would do to me. "No. I fear I...may be too angry to be of much help to them."

"Are we sure they will be all right on their own? They have no leaders," Meira murmured as she glanced over them.

"Are you asking me to stay with them, Herald?" I questioned, my voice harsher than I meant it to be. Was she wanting me away from her? I'd hardly blame her if she did.

She blinked as she looked at me, surprise and hurt on her face. Maker, Rutherford. I couldn't look at her, so I looked at a point past her. "N-no, Commander, I was...let's go," she spoke softly and turned her back on me. Now I've done it. She'd been worried for me, but I, ashamed of myself, what do I do?

...

Vivienne and Varric elected to stay with the templars to help them see to whatever they needed and to keep an eye on them. Meira led the way to the Lord Seeker's quarters. I noticed she fought a shiver as she looked around the destroyed office. I followed her gaze. The writing on the wall was essentially nonsense, but as we approached the cluttered table, we each took a section of the scattered parchment to begin going through it. I felt my stomach rumble and could hardly believe I was hungry in the aftermath of all that had taken place, so I ignored it.

As we perused the letters, notes and reports, Meira told us what had happened to her in the Fade and what the demon had shown her of the Inquisition's fate at its hands. Cassandra and I voiced our fury and revolt at what she had witnessed. I could tell she was holding something back as she spoke, her eyes not meeting mine and rarely meeting Cassandra's at her recounting, but I didn't push her. We'd fallen into silence as we read the contents of the table. Most of the paperwork I had to sift through was nonsense, but I found a letter that caught my eye.

Whatever comes, follow the instructions in the shipment to the letter. The officers know what they've signed on for, but don't start all the knights on red lyrium at once. Use the amounts we've parceled out; give them medicine for the pain. They need to be ready to fight again soon enough.

These are your people now, "Lord Seeker". Be a better master to them than the Chantry. If I hear differently, you'll answer to the one we both serve.

S.

"Cassandra," Meira called. "Look at this."

Cassandra made her way over to Meira, her face becoming livider the longer we were in this room. She took the small note from Meira's hand, and I watched as her face blanched. "Please tell me this is a ruse by Envy," she murmured.

"What is it?" I asked, Meira's eyes glancing at me briefly as I looked up from the letter, as if she were afraid of being caught. Maker, Rutherford. You're going to have to assure her that all is well.

"It-I...Sweet Andraste," the Seeker swore. "Unless this is a deceit by the demon...the Lord Seeker...may have been complicit in Envy's scheme."

"What?" I barked. Is there nothing and no one in Thedas that is not touched by corruption?

"We can't know for sure; it may have been written by the demon or by this Elder One that delivered the Lord Seeker to Envy," Meira stated. "This...doesn't look good."

I looked to Cassandra, who was having a hard time deciding whether she was livid or devastated, before returning to the letter in my hand. "What I've found isn't much better," I growled. "The letter is signed 'S', but it sounds like Samson. If it is him, he was aware of the imposter, aware of what red lyrium would do to the templars. He claimed to serve the same master as the imposter Lord Seeker."

"And we have this," Meira gestured to Celene's bust that had a dagger stabbed through her face.

"We...we need to get back to Haven," Cassandra stated, worry coloring her words. "As soon as possible. We need to send messages ahead to Leliana and Josephine. They need to have people looking into these leads."

"I doubt the corrupted templars left any messenger birds alive," I voiced. "In fact, I fear they may have killed any means of escape or asking for aid." If I had been their leader, that's what I would have instructed. Maker, what does that say about me?

"What do you mean?" Meira asked her eyes meeting mine for the first time.

"The red doesn't stop for the innocent," A voice spoke before a boy appeared on the table. His voice became agitated as he continued to speak. "I can smell their fear, see it in their eyes as I tear them apart—their blood only feeds the song." He was playing with a dagger as he looked to Meira. "Hello, Meira."

"Maker," I proclaimed, stepping around the table as I unsheathed my sword and pointed it at the boy, Cassandra doing the same. Abomination. He's an abomination. 

"Wait!" Meira shouted as she stepped between us and the boy. We hesitated but kept our swords drawn.

The boy met my eyes. His own staring, as if he could see to my soul. "Just because it was what you would have done, doesn't mean you're red inside. You're a templar—were a templar—you can't help how they trained you to think." How-how on...how did he...I realized I was stammering, but the boy turned away from me and back to Meira. "I didn't leave. I've been helping. They just weren't ready to see me. Besides, they know your secret, the others don't."

"That's fine, Cole," Meira assured, a smile on her face and her eyes warm as she looked at the creature. "You just startled us, appearing out of thin air. Could you please get off the table. though?" What in the Maker's name?

"I wasn't air, I was here," Cole looked confused, but obliged Meira as he climbed off the table. "You didn't see me. Most people don't until I let them." I caught Meira's smile and quiet chuckle before returning my attention to the demon.

"This creature is not what you—" Cassandra began.

"Abomination." I corrected.

"Cole saved my life in the Fade," Meira interjected, her eyes flashing slightly. Cassandra and I glanced at each other. This...thing saved her life? Unease pooled in my gut as I studied the creature, but if he had truly helped her—

"And Purpose helped, too," Cole added as he met my eyes. Demon. He turned to Meira. "He says hello as well." Who—what—is Purpose? Cole looked at each of us in turn. "You help people. You made them safe when they would have died. I want to do that. I can help."

Meira cocked her head, amused. "Why and how would you help the Inquisition?"

"The hole in the sky is too loud for spirits to think. It’s pulling, pushing out pain. I want to stop it," Cole straightened. Hole in the sky? Too loud for spirits? Pain? I was utterly confused by the boy's words, but Meira seemed to understand exactly what he was saying. 

"How altruistic of you," Cassandra growled at the creature.

"I want to help," Cole pleaded. "I can be hard to see. I can kill things that would hurt people. I won’t get in the way."

"I couldn't have defeated Envy without him or Purpose," Meira stated to Cassandra who was glaring at Cole.

"But what does he want now?" she demanded.

"I think he really is trying to help," Meira said, softly. That seemed to be all the answer the boy needed.

"I won’t be in the way. Tiny, no trouble, no notice taken unless you want them to," Cole said, excitedly.

"You’re not honestly suggesting we give him run of the camp?" I questioned. Meira may have trust in him, but he was...not human whatever his appearance. Meira turned to say something to me, but Cole disappeared. Oh, wonderful. 

"Where did he go?" Cassandra asked, her voice wavering.

"It's a good trick. You get used to it," Meira smirked, seeming to find the whole situation humorous.

"You said he...helped you in the Fade?" I questioned as I sheathed my sword. "You didn't mention that before."

"I...intended to keep Cole secret—and Purpose for that matter. How they helped me...I will be forever grateful to them both," She couldn't quite meet my eyes. My darling, I am sorry. "I wasn't keeping them secret for...deceitful reasons. I just didn't feel it was pertinent information. What they helped me overcome had nothing to do with the Inquisition."

"They are...demons?" Cassandra questioned.

"No," Meira shook her head. "Spirits. Purpose kept calling Cole 'Compassion'; I think Cole is more complex than simply a spirit, but it is above my knowledge."

"You had...spirits help you while you were trapped in the Fade by Envy?" I questioned. I wanted to understand. I wanted to not be afraid, wanted to trust her, but all I knew of the Fade was demons. I knew there was more occupants, but the benevolent spirits were not as powerful as the malevolent ones.

She met my eyes, her gaze hard as her chin jutted just slightly. "Yes."

"And that didn't...frighten you?" I quirked a brow. I wanted the answer to that question, but I was also secretly enjoying her defensive and stubborn responses to me. So rarely did she show those sides of herself, when she did, I found it...hypnotic. 

"They are not malicious," she crossed her arms over her chest, her agitation with me growing as she narrowed her eyes. "I could sense their intent. Purpose is the spirit that saved me from death, from Tranquility, Cullen; lest you forget." At her words, I flinched. She is upset with me. I've blundered again. "Cole kept me whole in the wake of Envy's...manipulation. Together, they helped me navigate the Fade and escape. I daresay you owe a thanks to both of them." She glared at Cassandra and I, silencing our arguments. "That aside, Cole may have confirmed what we feared. If everything is gone, we must return to South Reach for supplies. But first, we need to decide what we're doing with the Order."

"The corruption fell top down," I stated, pushing aside thoughts of my siblings at the mention of South Reach. "Those who survived were not privy to what was happening. They seem eager to serve, to prove themselves and to rebuild the Order as it should be."

"Lyrium is at the heart of this. How else would they have fallen prey to this demon so easily?" Cassandra scowled as her eyes fell on me. "Perhaps we need to eliminate the Order; cleanse it of lyrium and rebuild in a way that lyrium and templars are no longer synonymous." 

Not now, Cassandra. She knew how I hoped the Inquisition would be able to eliminate lyrium from the Order—if it could be done. Cassandra was somehow able to use templar abilities without taking lyrium; in her laid the answers I sought. Now was not the time, however. We could not have the few remaining members of the Order going through withdrawal—possibly dying—prior to closing the Breach. We needed to take care of the current priority and then address lyrium. 

"A demon and it's master were at the heart of this," I argued. "The templars will need lyrium to face the Breach."

"The Order is a symbol that holds the people's respect," Meira stated, "That cannot die today. Would that respect not grow if people knew that the new Order was founded and rebuilt by those who most embodied the tenets of their Order? They can rebuild within the Inquisition, with our support, input, and guidance because we allowed them to remain. If we ask them to dismantle and become a part of the Inquisition, are we not potentially painting ourselves as power-hungry tyrants?" Meira's words were wise and I agreed wholeheartedly.

"Surely, the Inquisition should get some kind of benefit for saving them from themselves? I know Leliana would have suggestions," Cassandra argued. "Not only that, but can we truly trust the men and women here who stood by as the Order rotted from the inside out?"

"All due respect to Sister Nightingale, she seeks the benefit of the Inquisition above all else right now," Meira crossed her arms over her chest once more. "I admire her devotion, even her cunning, but this is not the place to put the Inquisition ahead of Thedas itself. I know everyone who has joined the Inquisition's cause did so because they wish to see change. I agree, completely, but converts are not won with blood and force—just look at the Chantry's past mistakes. You want people to believe in the Inquisition? To join us? To back us? Show that we are a force to be reckoned with, but one that can also be reasoned with; that we give those who fail a second chance when they earn it, just as the templars who stood with Barris have. I saw what the Inquisition could become through fear alone. I will not allow it. Would you Seeker? Commander?" Her eyes seared into the both of us, her words ringing with truth.

Cassandra and I paused for a moment, looking at each other. "No," we answered in unison as we met Meira's gaze.

"Then we make our terms plain," Meira stated, her shoulders dropping in relief.

"What would you suggest?" I asked, resting my hands on my pommel.

Meira thought for a moment. "First, I would have them as our allies."

"Allies? After what they've done here?" Cassandra argued.

"They didn't commit these crimes, Cassandra, it was their officers," I shook my head.

Meira scowled. "Allies, but we are to be involved in the rebuilding of the Order—and it is to be rebuilt. From the foundation."

"I can agree to that," Cassandra nodded. "Who would lead them?"

"I would recommend Barris," I offered. "The man has proven himself a capable leader and trusted amongst his brethren."

"I agree," Meira nodded. "Barris is to be acting leader until more critical decisions need to be made after the Breach has been sealed. The Inquisition is to choose the new Knight-Commander when that time comes."

"So long as the choice is made due to the person's merit and benefit that they will bring to the Order and not the Inquisition," I voiced, "I will agree to that. The Order needs to be free of all their leashes both past and future."

Meira nodded before continuing. Her eyes were beginning to linger longer upon me, that warmth returning to them. Focus, Rutherford. "Those who have committed the most heinous crimes within the Order are to be judged by the Inquisition, their consequences what we see fit. That may mean delivering them back to the Order for further judgment or it may not."

"I agree," Cassandra nodded. "And I voice now of wanting the same for the Seekers if they are proven to have fallen to corruption."

"If the templars join as free agents, they are to govern themselves—we will not coddle them—but they answer to us," Meira continued. "We will send them on assignments that come to the Inquisition's attention that require templars and they will answer."

"Sounds fair," I nodded.

"We will provide for their initial needs as theirs have been eradicated: grounds for them to stay, food, weapons. We will supply lyrium as well. They are not allowed to establish their own supply lines until they have proven themselves trustworthy again," she stated.

I agreed with her terms, wanting nothing more than to take her into my arms and kiss her for her wisdom. I was ready for this to be over, for us to be able to sneak away, but would she come? Would she still want me after today? I was growing impatient to be with her. "Anything else?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

She stared me down, clearly agitated with my short temper. "I want Barris as the templar ambassador when the time comes. Together, he, Talitha and the Inquisition will rebuild the Order and the Circles."

We both looked at Meira, saying nothing for a few moments. Cassandra saluted her. "As you say, Herald."

"So long as change is coming for both the Order and the mages," I nodded. "Your terms sound fair. I see no reason why they would refuse. They would be fools to do so."

Meira met my eyes, a fire in her own. "You know I desire change for both; change is needed for both. If it does not come, we will be here again before long."

"Indeed," I nodded.

"Let's go speak with Barris," Cassandra nodded.

…

"We could hardly turn away such an offer," Barris spoke once Meira had finished listing off the terms of our alliance, stating that we would get it in writing upon our return to Haven. "You've not ordered us to disband, and you are allowing us to aid the Inquisition where perhaps we can regain the people's respect. I look forward to this partnership," Barris nodded. "I need assurance that my brothers and sisters will follow." He left us where we stood to address his fellow templars. 

As Barris explained the terms to the others, I felt Meira's eyes on me. I avoided looking at her, knowing I wouldn't be able to look away. I knew I was being somewhat cold and short tempered with her; a mixture of my shame and my want to speak with her making my patience wear thin. I had to keep my distance, as she was the Herald and I her Commander.

My fear had subsided, but exhaustion and pain were coming in full force now as the events of the day caught up with me. I wanted nothing more than to talk with her; to listen to her soothing voice; to kiss her soundly. The thought of her pinned between me and the door in the inn in South Reach came and a fire began to burn in my gut. Would she let me kiss her like that again?

"Do we take the Inquisition’s terms, brothers and sisters?" Barris asked the others. The responding cheer was near deafening as we approached the crowd. Barris turned back to Meira. "The templars will come. I hope your stronghold is ready."

A smirk pulled Meira's lips. "Oh, don't worry. I think we're expecting company." At that, I saw the slightest hint of a smile on Barris's face. Maker, Andraste, guide us to rebuild the Order to what it should be.

…

We spent the remainder of the daytime discussing our plan for returning to Haven and dealing with the Breach. It was decided that the templars would follow us within a few days. They were to gather any useful resources from the fortress once Barris saw to order. Upon our return to South Reach, I would send the garrison of Inquisition soldiers that would be established by now to aid in performing a sweep of the area for any remaining corrupted templars.

Once those decisions had been made, we saw to the dead. So many had been killed; the nobles not without their share of losses. Pyres were built and set ablaze as rites were performed. With that seen to, Cassandra and I had gone down to where we had left the horses. They all lay slaughtered before us; the coaches of the nobles destroyed. Cassandra cursed the corrupted templars as we began picking through the gore. Dennet would no doubt be bitter over such a needless loss of some of his horses—a sentiment I shared.

Thankfully, Meira's disguise had survived unscathed, along with most of Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric's things. I did not come away as lucky and I laughed bitterly at what had survived. The Maker has a sense of humor. My elderflower salve and oakmoss elixir that were to help with the pain of withdrawal had both been destroyed; but the box that held the tools to prepare my rations of lyrium sat perfectly intact along with the wax for my hair.

We gathered everything useful and made our way back to the fortress. Dropping off their things, I checked to see if any messenger birds lived, but all were dead. With any means of transportation or communication destroyed and the fear corrupted templars may still lurk nearby, it was decided we would stay the night at the fortress—much to our displeasure. We'd see to any last-minute needs Barris had and depart at dawn to make our way back to South Reach where we were to restock and send out messages. Vivienne would stay behind to await the Inquisition soldiers who would accompany the remaining nobles back to the city.

We aided the templars in setting up a camp within the first courtyard and the room where we had met the knight-captain. Things had been cleaned, the dead removed and there was no red lyrium growing nearby. We would have to figure out how to destroy and remove the lyrium, but for now Barris and I had commanded that no one go near it. Meira and Vivienne had used magic to move the bodies of the corrupted templars so that they could be burned as fire seemed to have an effect on the substance. Denam was being kept chained in a room under constant guard until the Inquisition could bring him to Haven for judgment.

I watched Meira as she assisted the templars in setting up tents and laying out bedrolls, she unaware of how they studied her, Andraste's Herald, in awe. If they had been in doubt before, her actions and offer of an alliance had removed it. I was beginning to believe that the Maker had sent both Ellana and Meira; had placed them in Haven when they would be most needed. Meira was proving herself wise and capable while Ellana had become more devoted to the cause of the Inquisition than even some of its initial members. I prayed for them both, hoping that they would continue to follow the Maker's guidance.

Major priorities seen to, the templars raided their stores for food. Finding cheese and hard biscuits to pass around, they saw that all got a share. Despite what they had just endured, the nobles still found a way to complain about the food, causing me to roll my eyes. Water had been drawn, ladles and buckets being passed around as everyone sat by the fires that had been lit. Meira sat with Varric and Cassandra. Vivienne had retired to her tent soon after eating.

I had been talking with Barris and a few of the other templars about everything that had happened. They turned to talking about training days and foolery as initiates. Despite the circumstances of the day, they found reasons to laugh in remembrance of the brothers and sisters who had fallen. Barris's face turned bitter once more. I clasped the man's shoulder and told him I understood and the Inquisition would do all it could to help him and the others right this wrong.

"So long as we see those red monsters ended," he seethed, "Those things disgrace everything the Order should be. I fear the Herald did not see us at our best and yet...she decided to work with us? It is...beyond me."

"She is a wise woman," I offered. "She understands what the Order represents to the people of Thedas."

"But she's a mage. An elf. A Dalish elf at that—they don't even have templars," Barris voiced. "Why would she keep us around? no matter what the Order means to Thedas?"

"Because she's no fool," I explained. "She knows what would happen if she—if the Inquisition—were to abolish the Order. We would become an object of fear and distrust."

The man studied me a moment. "You trust her, then?"

"I do," I assured. "She has proven herself trustworthy in the time I have worked with her. Her origins aside, she is levelheaded, shrewd, but above all she's committed to the cause of the Inquisition, its people, and the people of Thedas. Though she could use the power and influence her title grants her, she has not."

"She seems worthy of our loyalty. I pray she proves it." He thought a moment. "Can I ask why you left the Order?"

I hesitated before I answered. "What you experienced today, I experienced in Kirkwall. Corruption led to the Order's utter destruction there. Everywhere I looked after I helped pick up the pieces, I saw only corruption. Corruption I had believed and had fed. I no longer understood what it meant to be a templar. Seeker Cassandra sought me out to join the Inquisition, told me what they were trying to accomplish, and I felt the Maker's hand guiding me to a new path." I met Barris's eyes. "I respect the Order and the soldiers within. I would see the Order become what it was meant to be, but that is not what we saw today. The Herald wants the same. The Inquisition wants the same."

He nodded. "As do I." At that, he turned to head for his tent.

I hesitated before heading towards where Meira sat but paused when I heard Varric mention his nickname for me. I stayed in the shadows between fires as I setup my tent and observed them.

Varric smiled at Meira. "You're a better person than most, then." His smile fell. "I think I've brought the man undeserved notoriety from it."

"'Notoriety' is an understatement, dwarf," Cassandra bit at Varric.

"I think Cullen is the kind of man to own his mistakes and the consequences that come with them," Meira lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

"Either way, I want you to know that I think Cullen is a good man and I had a front row view of him in Kirkwall," Varric met Meira's eyes. Perhaps I should give the dwarf a chance.

Meira studied Varric a moment, her face softening. "You don't need to explain, Varric. I appreciate that you want to, but you don't need to. Cullen and I have already had this discussion; I trust the Commander to lead our men with fair and moral judgment." Maker, I love her.

Varric seemed relieved at Meira's words before he looked around the camp. "So, the templars join the Inquisition. Even with Cullen here, I never thought that would happen. Of course, after Kirkwall, I never thought anyone would use red lyrium on purpose, either." He shook his head, his lips pursing. "The templars should know better than anyone what that crap does to people. Finding more of it really punches a hole in my 'red lyrium at the temple was a coincidence' theory."

"What do you know about red lyrium? How fast does it grow? Spread?" Meira asked.

"It took years to infect people in Kirkwall, but no one there was actually ingesting the stuff," he replied. "This 'Elder One' managed to take the worst thing I can think of and make it worse." He sighed deeply. "That's an accomplishment."

"We need to figure out how to destroy it," Meira growled. "We can't leave a single piece of it around."

"I'm with you on that," the dwarf nodded. "I've got people trying to find out where the red stuff came from. I think maybe we should make that a priority." Varric waved a hand in the air. "But that's enough doom and gloom. You just won a big victory for the Inquisition!" He shot Meira a broad smile. "What're you going to do to celebrate?" 

A playful smile spread on her lips. "I was planning to put my feet up. Maybe take a nap. You?" It warmed my heart to see her happy and I wanted nothing more than to feel that smile against my lips.

"Whatever I do, it'll be as far from Cassandra as I can get."

Meira bit her lip to keep from laughing as Cassandra sent Varric a death glare. "I am capable of having fun."

Varric laughed. "I'd pay literal money to see it, Seeker." Cassandra gave him a disgusted snort in response. Varric flicked his eyes back to Meira. "Things should be calm around here for at least the next hour. Take a moment to enjoy it."

"I'd enjoy it more if we weren't sleeping in the same fortress where we'd just cut our way through monsters," Meira grumbled. "But beggars can't be choosers, right?" I smirked at her dry humor.

Varric chuckled. "If the world's about to end, I'm sure the Seeker will let us know." Meira laughed heartily at the responding pout Cassandra gave. Varric put away the parchment he'd been holding before clasping his hands across his knees. He hesitated a moment but turned to Cassandra. "You know, Seeker, for someone with your tact and charisma you assembled a...pretty good little Inquisition. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you didn't drag them all here by force."

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "How kind of you." How Cassandra had not punched Varric was beyond me. I had seen her do it to others for lesser offenses—she'd done it to me.

"I mean, you never know, you could have kidnapped Ruffles, and she'd be too polite to say anything," he flashed a wicked grin. Meira chuckled and so did I.

"Leliana recruited Josephine," Cassandra offered. "They're... friends."

"So, there's a rational explanation after all. Just when I thought you had layers," Varric mocked a pout. He was twisting the knife pretty hard into Cassandra, still bitter over his being a prisoner prior to the Breach exploding. "It makes sense that Leliana did the recruiting when the Inquisition started. Not everyone can be intimidated into signing up after all."

Cassandra let out a huff of air. "I recruited Commander Cullen." My ears pricked at my name.

"Lucky him," Varric chuckled.

"He's made no complaints about my manners," Cassandra sat straighter, jutting her chin out. I chuckled at the bit of pride that seemed to bring her.

"His last boss was a raving lunatic who turned into a statue," Varric observed as he leaned towards Cassandra and mock-whispered, "That's not a high bar." No matter his words, that brought a smirk to my face. Though Cassandra was far superior to Meredith, they did both share a temper and ruthless streak. 

Meira bit her lip as she studied the two. Cassandra had a slight blush on her cheeks in embarrassment and Varric was reveling in her discomfort. "So, it's true that she turned into a statue?"

Varric turned his eyes to Meira. "Absolutely true. She's still there, bringing an extra dose of horror to the Gallows' tourists."

"No one's moved it-I mean her?" Cassandra asked.

"And make it impossible for children to play 'Who's Brave Enough to Poke Meredith?'" Varric questioned.

"They don't actually do that, do they?" Meira asked.

"No. No one's brave enough to poke Meredith."

"That is so strange," Meira mused. "The statue part, not the poking her part."

"It was even stranger to witness," Varric shook his head. "You should've seen the look on Curly's face."

My heart beat faster as the dwarf mentioned that night. The sensation of the even stones of the Gallows echoed beneath my feet as did the rumbling thunder of the building storm. It had been chaos all around me, though the lyrium had kept me calm. The other templars had surrounded me; asking questions as to what was coming:

"The Right of Annulment was invoked and nearly carried out on the Circle of Ferelden when I was younger," I'd told Keran and Ruvena when they asked why Meredith had called for the Right and if she was in the right to do so. "There it would have been justified. Demons overran the whole tower. Here, it's much harder to tell who's in the wrong." They'd looked at me in confusion. "I hope Meredith knows what she's doing. I will do what she commands of me, we all will...but something about this isn't right. I hope we can resolve this quickly and with little bloodshed. I am not looking forward to this." I hadn't known why I was being so open with them. I had never been so before; not with any of the templars under me. But Hawke had chosen to stand with the mages. And I could no longer quiet the whispers of doubt that had been growing in regard to Meredith. They'd grown to shouts as I'd looked into her eyes as she'd faced down Orsino. "You must steel yourself for what is to come," I'd said in encouragement to them as much as myself.

"You want to know what he was like that night? If he really took the courageous stand I painted in the book?" Varric's voice brought me back to the present. Meira nodded in response. Varric paused a moment, a seriousness in his face I had not seen before. "He did and, in that moment, Hawke was proud to know him." She'd been...proud? "Was it later than it should have been? Yeah—Hawke thought so too, but he did it; ignoring his superiors, ignoring the Order, and even his own prejudices." I winced at those words, the truth hitting me square in the chest.

"Putting all of that aside, he stood between Meredith and Hawke for what was right, drawing his blade on his knight-commander that had gone too far." Varric thought a moment before he chuckled. "It was a moment that I could never have come up with. No one would have believed it. The lone templar who was the right-hand man of his fanatic commanding officer standing against the chaos in a city ruled by the Order? The Order that had put a chokehold on its mages? The man having been instrumental in said chokehold? It doesn't sound plausible."

"Why do you think people still treat him with disdain?" Cassandra quirked a brow. "They don't believe it." She sighed. "Sometimes I don't think even the man in question believes it."

"He doesn't," Meira murmured as she stared at the flames of the fire. "It's good he no longer belongs to that life. Maybe one day he'll even realize he's free of it." They looked to her and nodded. I am trying. At her words, my feet moved of their own accord towards her.

"We've returned to the doom and gloom," Varric shook his head. "I say we put it to bed. So, tell me—who do you think is the toughest: Josephine, Leliana, or Cassandra?"

"I'm right here, you know," Cassandra growled. 

"That doesn't rule you out, Seeker." Varric shrugged.

"Cullen's not up for consideration?" Meira asked, quirking a brow.

Varric laughed heartily. "Curly? They just keep him around to look pretty." Meira laughed.

"Do I want to know what has you so amused?" I questioned as I joined them. Meira blinked and looked at me. I met her eyes, letting my affection for her show just a bit.

"Apparently, we just keep you around for your looks," Cassandra grumbled.

"'My looks'?" I quirked a brow as I looked at the three of them. "I fear I am missing context for the joke."

Meira chuckled. "Fear not, Commander. And Varric, if I had to choose…I'd say Josephine. Sorry, Cassandra."

Cassandra gave a small smile. "I agree with you, Herald. That woman frightens me and I've been a warrior for nearly twenty years."

Varric let out a laugh. "Solas owes me a sovereign."

"Maker's breath," I sighed. Honestly, how much betting did Varric and Solas do in regard to us all?  I looked back to Meira, her eyes on me. I tried to muster up the words I wanted to say to her, to ask her to join me for a walk, but Cassandra and Varric spoke before I did.

"Well, I think I should get some rest," Varric said as he stood and stretched. "Long journey on foot tomorrow."

"As should I," Cassandra agreed. "Herald. Commander."

We bid them goodnight, watching as they walked to their tents. I turned back to Meira, but she was avoiding my eye. I took a deep breath and tried to muster up some courage. To my surprise, it came readily enough. "Would you accompany me for a walk?" I asked.

She nodded and stood, brushing herself off. She'd removed some of her armor and only had her staff, whereas I was still fully armored. After witnessing the corrupted templars, I felt more comfortable in my full armor while still at the fortress. We walked in silence for some distance until we were out of reach of the firelight. I led us up the nearby stairs until we were overlooking the courtyard below, wanting to take her hand in mine, but resisting as I sensed she was angry with me. She leaned on the railing and waited for me to speak.

"I...I am," I cleared my throat. "I am sorry."

"For?" she asked, her voice hard.

"My cold behavior," I admitted. "I was...pushing you away."

She turned her eyes to me. The sky was full of stars, and I could see her in their light. Soft and dim, but I could still make out her features. "Why?"

I looked up at the stars. So many and so beautiful. Why had I been cold to her at first? "I feared what...you thought of me." I closed my eyes. Shame. Shame at my behavior after the red lyrium. Shame at my fear before the demon. "The way I acted after...they tried to force red lyrium on me. How I...was paralyzed before the demon." I met her eyes after a moment.

She turned fully to me, anger in her voice as she spoke. "Why in the Maker's name would you believe that I would think badly of you for either of those reasons?" Her brow furrowed as she studied me. "Your ferocity and anger after they tried to force red lyrium on you was understandable." She closed her eyes tight for a moment. Her voice was softer as she spoke. "And the demon...I can hardly blame you; I barely escaped it. We've both scars already when it comes to demons."

I looked away from her, heat prickling on my neck as she looked at me with such understanding. "Still, I should be...stronger."

"Cullen," Meira breathed, tugging on my fur mantle. "You are one of the strongest people I know."

I met her eyes in surprise, before my face softened. I saw her lips part in response to the look on my face, her eyes flicking to my mouth. Yet, I hesitated to take her in my arms. "I could—I would—say the same about you."

She blushed. "I'm not strong," she murmured. "If I were strong...I..." She sighed and turned her back to me, leaning once more on the railing.

You are, Meira. You are so strong. All that you've faced, all that you've endured and yet you still smile? Laugh? Love? Trust? Hesitantly, I put a hand on her low back. She glanced back to me and I met her eyes, hoping my words were there. "Tell me."

"Because you've been so open?" She bit out. I flinched at her anger, but her face softened instantly as she straightened. "Forgive me."

"No, you're right," I sighed. "Everything that happened today brought back...everything."

"I know, Cullen," she said softly, her eyes searching my face. "Do you know how many times I wanted to take your hand and tell you it would be all right? That I wanted to comfort you in any way I could?" I studied her. "Alas, I am the Herald and you the Commander. Yet, when I could have comforted you, you pushed me away."

My eyes fell. "I-I don't want…I wish that…Maker's breath." I clenched my teeth in frustration.

She turned to me once more, taking my hand and leading us to a nearby doorway. My heart started hammering in my chest, my gut twisting with nerves and anticipation as she pulled me through.

"What, Cullen? Talk to me."

It was dark in here. I could no longer see her, but I felt her. Her warmth, her eyes; heard her breathing, even her heartbeat. Why had I pushed her away? Shame, yes, but more than that. I forced myself to speak the words. "I don't want you tainted by my darkness."

"Cullen," she breathed as she put a hand against my cheek. I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes. "You think you're the only one with darkness? I could not survive mine without the Maker, without...you. Do not push me away in the hopes of sparing me; you're only harming yourself. Did I not tell you? I see you, blood and all, and I am unafraid."

Oh, Meira. Oh, my love. My darling. My heart. I put a hand over hers and pressed her palm harder against my skin. My memories were a constant ghost haunting me, trapping me with each recollection. The red templars and the red lyrium physical representations of what I was both running from and desperate for; the rage I'd unleashed as I'd cut the corrupted templars down the rage I held against myself. Yet fear had kept me from protecting her from the demon as it'd kept me from protecting so many others. I could fail her in so many ways. Do not falter. I had failed her. "I fear you should be afraid."

"I'm not," she assured. "I understand, Cullen. I do, but I also know…You have been alone for far too long." My eyes flew open at those words, my mind returning to the cabin in the farmlands. She brought her other hand up to my cheek and pulled me closer to her. "You're not alone anymore. You have me."

I felt her eyes studying me. I'd begun to say something, but the words disappeared as she ran a thumb along my bottom lip. Oh, Maker. I inhaled sharply at the sensation. I pulled her into my arms, praying they were strong, steady, and reassuring. She was here—we were here—together. I held her tighter against me, burying my face in her neck. "I was so worried for you. Can you forgive my cowardice?" I whispered.

"It was not cowardice, my knight," she assured. "You were afraid of it. Fear is not cowardice. I saw how you fought to reach me as it dragged me away; how you fought the templars that tried to harm you. You are no coward. The demon took you back there, but I ended it. Know that I can—I will—protect you, too. My Cullen, my lion."

I chuckled. "Lion?"

"The way you roared for me..." she murmured her voice lowering and taking on a huskiness.

My heart beat in earnest in my chest, my mind quieting. She ran her hands up my cuirass, my gut tightening in response. Hesitantly, she curled her fingers into my hair. My blood burned through my veins pulling my thoughts to center only on her as I met her lips. I was gentle and soft a first, peppering her face with kisses before finding her lips again. To my surprise, she tilted her chin to better meet my mouth. She stood on her tiptoes as her fingers combed through my hair before finding purchase in my fur and pulled herself tighter to me.

The thought of nearly losing her, the way she'd spoken to me after ending the demon, the way she was kissing me, the smell of her—it was all working to overwhelm my sense. She seemed no less affected as my lips parted hers only for her to respond in kind. Time stopped as every nerve in my being came alive. My hands swept the hourglass curves of her body, my fingers digging into the curves of her hips before cupping her thighs to lift her up and set her atop a large crate. She didn't seem to mind as she ran her fingers through my hair and hooked her legs around my waist before answering my passion with her own.

I could not tell how long we stayed like that, but I didn't want it to end. Eventually, though, my lungs betrayed me, and I had to wrench my mouth from hers as I gulped down air. As I did, she pressed kisses along my jaw before she let out a contented sigh and sense reasserted itself.

Gently, I lowered her and my cheeks burned with embarrassment at my loss of self-control. Yet, she had not stopped me nor was she objecting now. Hesitantly, I asked, "It...that wasn't too much?"

She touched my face. "That was...new." I was unsure what to say to that. "And I felt...free." Her voice was thick with those words and my heart filled with tender love for her. I placed a hand on her cheek and stroked along her cheekbone. "Don't misunderstand me, I enjoy the tender side of you...but I...could have more of that." She ran a finger along the scar on my lip as it pulled into a smirk.

I cleared my throat as desire burned in my gut. I curled my fingers around her wrist. "So-so could I. To be honest, that's part of why I was keeping my distance...I," I cleared my throat again. "I was worried...I'd—" My face was burning now as words escaped me.

"Claim my virtue?" she asked, fighting a smile as she quirked a brow.

"What? No! That's not...I wasn't even...why-how-Maker!" I swore.

She laughed merrily and despite my embarrassment, the sound eased the tension in my chest. "You just had your tongue in my mouth and you're saying you weren't thinking about my...virtue?"

"Sweet blood of Andraste," I groaned as I felt my blush spread to my ears and down my neck. "No! I was not. Maker. You-you sound like Rylen."

"You're so adorable when you're flustered," she murmured. "Tell me, my knight, do you often kiss Rylen that way?" 

"My darling, please," I begged as I choked with laughter.

She chuckled and stood on tiptoes to press her mouth to mine. "My Cullen. My adorable, awkward, sweet, handsome, alluring, brave, funny lion."

"I am not sure if I am to be offended or pleased," I chuckled against her mouth.

"They are only words of adoration, my knight," she promised.

"In that case, my lady," I stated huskily as I smirked, "Let me show you the depths of my gratitude."

We kissed passionately once more. I made Meira pay for her comments by kissing her until we were both gasping for air, to her amused chuckle. When we broke away, she brought her hand up to my face, magic glowing there. "Is it all right if I use magic? Our...recent affections are pretty plain," she explained, amusement in her voice.

"All right," I consented. My skin cooled and tingled as she used a bit of frost and healing magic to erase the evidence from our faces before we started to descend the stairs. Only a few steps down, now able to see her in the starlight, she gestured for me to sit as she did the same.

As I sat, she recounted everything that had happened to her in the Fade, all the ways Envy had hurt her. Everything she had seen—including my succumbing to red lyrium, the monster I had become. She put her hand on my cheek as she told me how seeing me pinned to the ground had frightened her. I looked away in humiliation, but she turned me gently back to her, assuring that I had nothing to be ashamed of as she stroked my cheek.

"Tell me about Samson," she requested, quietly. "It...rattled you when that templar mentioned him and you clearly have history. Who is he? He was mentioned in Tale of the Champion, but only briefly."

I scowled as I let out a deep sigh. "Raleigh Samson. When I was first transferred to Kirkwall, I shared quarters with him. He seemed a decent man, at first, and I knew him to be an accomplished templar. Meredith later expelled him for 'erratic behavior'. He ended up begging on Kirkwall's streets. He committed further crimes but managed to evade the Order's justice."

"Do you really think it's him?" Meira quirked a brow.

"We won't know for certain until we begin to look into this whole business but given the templar's threat and the letter we found," I looked away from her as I thought of myself upon the ground, pinned like an animal. Heard their song as they wrenched my mouth open and the red eyes of the one who'd nearly poisoned me. I ignored the hunger for lyrium that licked up my throat. Would they have bested me if I'd been taking it? Thoughts of using lyrium came as well as memories of Samson's addiction. I curled my lip. "I would not be surprised."

"If you thought him a decent man at one time, what changed?" Meira probed.

I found her eyes. "He had a chronic lyrium addiction," I said quietly and relinquished a bit of truth. Will she guess? Or will I have to tell her plainly eventually? She had already noticed some of the symptoms of withdrawal. When she'd asked, I'd given her a half-truth in response. I knew it was wrong, knew she deserved the whole truth, but she had so much on her mind already, I didn't want to add yet another stress. "To some degree...all templars have an addiction, but there are those who...go beyond the normal level. Samson was such a one. When he turned to begging, he apparently spent every coin he made on lyrium by buying it from local smugglers. He turned to smuggling out apostates from Kirkwall to earn said coin when begging didn't make enough to meet his needs."

"It sounds like Samson had a miserable life."

"The Order expelled him," I relented. I knew how difficult it was to step away from that life to try again and I'd stepped away for a position promised. Samson had had nothing, but he chose his addiction and however he could pay for it. "But he had choices. He could've found another path, but he chose lyrium and crime."

"That's a little harsh, Cullen," she studied my face as I looked at her. "Surely, you can have a little sympathy for the man?"

"Not if he's the one responsible for the devastation caused here," I clenched my jaw. If he knew and still poisoned these templars—had a demon do it for him—he did not deserve my sympathy.

"I thought you said he evaded the Order's justice and yet you know all of this about him?" 

Shrewd indeed. "I did know Hawke and Guard-Captain Aveline. They had their ears to the underbelly of Kirkwall. Samson might have evaded justice, but that didn't mean I was unaware of what he was up to. Besides, Kirkwall was not like Kinloch. I was out in the field more often than not; I became more acquainted with the dark side of the world than I ever wanted to."

"H-how well did you know Hawke?" she asked, unable to meet my eyes at the question. "The way Varric writes you two in Tale of the Champion..."

"Maker's breath," I groaned. "Not in that sense, I assure you. Varric added it for 'dramatic flair' I assume."

"But you were friends?" she questioned, still looking away from him.

"I suppose." I leaned forward until I caught her eye. "I will admit there may have been some...flirtation; more on Hawke's part than my own, but I was honest when I told you I had never been with anyone. Perhaps, I should clarify and say I have never even been in a relationship with anyone." I chuckled darkly. "Perhaps that is why I'm not very good at this."

"What do you mean you're not good at this?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

"I...keep floundering," I looked away, heat growing in my face once more. "You asked to move at a slow pace, but I keep pressing for...more. I do not mean to, but..." I thought of our passionate kiss, of her thighs in my hands and that fire seared my insides as I wanted for her. I sighed. "You asked me to be your steady shoulder. I pushed you away only to pull you back to kiss you...passionately. All I've done is...kiss you, but I haven't...properly wooed you." A bitter smirk pulled my lips.

She let out a breathy chuckle. "And what, pray tell, my knight, would proper wooing look like amidst this chaos?" She leaned against my shoulder as I let out a breathy chuckle. "And as far as I'm concerned, you've been plenty steady—today not counting for either of us." She met my eyes and I looked at her softly. "As for your affections, my lion, I...expected nothing less. What I meant for a slow pace was...sex." She blushed deeply and looked away from me. My own face burned at the word; at the thought of us...how I longed for her. "I-I'm not sure when I will be ready for that. For us to...enjoy that level of intimacy. I...am unsure how...I -" She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. My love. "I may not be ready for... quite some time. Can you...will you—"

She feared that I would grow impatient. I cursed myself internally for losing control and kissing her that way. How could she not think that I was desperate for her? How do I reassure her that I would wait? I tipped her chin with my fingers, lifting her face to mine, ignoring the blood pounding in my face. "I-I would wait an eternity for you, my darling."

She smiled bitterly. "I pray it is not an eternity."

"Meira," I spoke, my voice commanding. Her eyes met mine. "I will wait as long as you need. I will do whatever you need of me. I will not...make love to you until you are ready. There is no need for you to rush or push yourself. You have nothing to fear. I am not going anywhere." I kissed her tenderly, with as much gentleness as I could, but with equal passion. She seemed to almost enjoy it more than the last, so I poured all my love into it. I held her face in my hands as she gripped my wrists. Breaking the kiss, I slid my hands away from her face and took her hands in mine. "What did you mean you 'expected nothing less' when you talked of my affections?" I asked softly as I entwined our fingers and caressed her nose with my own.

She chuckled, sheepishly. "I know you well enough to have had an idea of how you would show your affection. Despite your...uncertainty...you have—you are…deeply passionate."

"Hmm," was all I said in response, feeling wholly seen by her at those words. "I must admit, sometimes I find it frightening how well you seem to know me."

"I had lots of time to study you," she smirked. "Perhaps that should frighten you."

I barked a laugh. "It would if I had not been studying you just as intently." I met her eyes, an embarrassed grin on my lips as I thought of her in the tower. "Honestly, I couldn't keep my eyes off you. But we hadn't even spoken." I smiled softly at her as I drank in her beauty in the starlight. "I still can't keep my eyes off you."

"It's the dreadlocks, isn't it?" She mused as she fussed with her false hair. "They certainly have a wild quality to them."

I chuckled before leaning in to kiss her soundly, drinking in her laughter as I did.

…

After a time, we finally returned to the courtyard, not wanting to separate, but we bid each other goodnight. I did not show my fear to Meira as I left her to face the demons that would haunt me in my dreams tonight. I crawled into my tent, removing my armor only because I knew I would not be able to lay down with it on.

I considered just staying awake, forcing myself to walk the perimeter of the fortress again and again until dawn came, but the way my eyelids were betraying me told me it would be a losing battle. I laughed bitterly as my eyes caught on the box that contained lyrium. My medicines gone, there would be no relief for the pain, no comfort found in their soothing effects. I would face these demons, these memories, in their full strength tonight.

Maker, though the darkness comes upon me, I shall embrace the Light. I shall weather the storm. I shall endure. Maker, Andraste, give me strength.

I stripped down to my tunic and leather breeches before sitting upon my bedroll. I folded my hands and bowed my head in prayer. "O Maker, hear my cry: Guide me through the blackest nights. Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked. Make me to rest in the warmest places. O Creator, see me kneel: For I walk only where You would bid me. Stand only in places You have blessed. Sing only the words You place in my throat. My Maker, know my heart: Take from me a life of sorrow. Lift me from a world of pain. Judge me worthy of Your endless pride. My Creator, judge me whole: Find me well within Your grace. Touch me with fire that I be cleansed. Tell me I have sung to Your approval. O Maker, hear my cry: Seat me by Your side in death. Make me one within Your glory. And let the world once more see Your favor. For You are the fire at the heart of the world, and comfort is only Yours to give."

Tears wet my eyes as I finished and my soul ached with the words, begging that they would hear me. I continued to pray over and over until at last, no matter how I fought, I drifted into sleep.

Reyna's demon was gone, but the others that had crossed the Veil of their own accord now circled me outside the magical cage. All in Meira's form, all calling to let them please me—knowing I would please them; sensing how I hungered for them, for her. I was trapped. I knew it wasn't real, knew I had escaped, but I knew I wouldn't wake up either.

They circled and circled, laughing at me as I panted the Chant, as I humiliated myself in terror. Entering the cage, they caressed me as I covered my ears at their promises. They'd pull my hands away, whispering of my darkest desires being fulfilled if only I gave in. They'd take my face in their hands, speaking softly and with such enticement I'd nearly give in.

I'd fight—thrashing, kicking, punching, swinging my blade—all ineffective. No! Leave me! When I fought, they'd hiss and their caresses would turn to gropes. I'd kick them away, only for them to trap me between them. They'd take turns being Meira: either the Meira who loved me or the Meira turned abomination—sometimes both. One promising to make love to me while the other promised to kill me.

I could resist the lustful Meira, knowing I'd already done that, but the Meira turned abomination: I couldn't stop as my blade went through her again and again, knowing I'd already been willing to kill her once. I couldn't stop the cry she released, the fear in her eyes, the betrayal and hurt. I couldn't look away as she bled out before me. I was congratulated over her dead body, awarded the title of Knight-Commander all the while my eyes never left her fixed stare, devoid of life. Meira. Meira.

I couldn't block out my screams as her body rose to attack me. My feet faltering, my body freezing, unable to fight her. She'd whisper my name as she tore me open, as she feasted on me while I watched. Every bit of that pain wracked my body as if it were truly happening.

I screamed and cried. Cried out to the Maker, cried out to Andraste, cried out for my mother.

Then it'd end, and the demons would laugh at my pathetic display; drinking in my fear, my pain, my want to be free of this torture, for them to just take my life. One would coo that if they killed me, their entertainment would be over, and they hadn't had this much fun in quite some time.

They'd straddle me, taking liberties as they explored my armored body, finding the places where I was unprotected. You are pretty to look at. Why don't you play with us? You'd please us so well. Come, let us please you. Will you let us adore you?

Again and again, the cycle repeated until I no longer knew what was real and what was the demons' illusion. Until I no longer knew what I wanted and what they told me I wanted. Until I no longer knew anything outside that cage; no longer knew any words beyond the Chant falling from my lips.

A piece of me, the single part of me that was still whole, told me it wasn't real, to keep fighting, to keep resisting. I listened to that piece of myself, feeling an odd sense of peace from it even as I felt my very soul fraying; my mind sundering. My body was wracked with the pain of withdrawal: shaking, sweating, vomiting, and desperately thirsty. I was starving, dehydrated, and my heart could not stop pounding in fear.

I forced myself to crawl out of that cage. Forced myself to leave behind the boy trapped there; to block out his weeping, his fear, his cry for relief through death. A last cry for the demons to leave me sounded as I tumbled out of the cage onto a pile of rotting corpses. The stench filling my nostrils and making my eyes water.

Instead of the demons' hands, skeletal hands groped at me, pulling me further into the writhing mass of decaying bodies. I saw their dead eyes full of betrayal, terror, and a silent cry for help. Their dying whispers called out to me, wanting to know why I hadn't done more, why I hadn't stopped Meredith, why I hadn't listened to everyone who told me what she had become. Further down amongst the heap I was pushed, suffocating on the miasma of decay as I fell into darkness.

At the bottom, I landed on my feet. My heart was pounding and blue pulsed in synchrony. The song echoed, the sensation of the warm liquid and the sweet relief it would bring if I just drank upon my tongue. The blue pulsed brighter and I saw the little box at my feet. My hands shaking, my body grew slick with sweat as I fought the urge to pick it up. No! It opened of its own accord, revealing the philter of shimmering liquid within. The philter drifted to me and danced before my eyes.

Beyond the bottle, I saw myself as I was while on lyrium: sedate, angry, unfeeling and cold. I saw the man who had been too weak to resist manipulation; too trusting to fight wrong orders; too dependent on lyrium to feel safe—to feel strong. Next to him stood the me of today who'd been too frightened to defeat the demon. They joined into one, becoming my eighteen-year-old self as he received my first philter of lyrium, which he held out to me. I licked my lips, saliva flooding my mouth. As it did, lyrium dribbled down his chin and glowed in his eyes.

No, I won't take it. I swatted the bottle away only for it to be caught by Meredith. Leave me! Her eyes burned red as she stared me down, sneering at my weakness; at my softness for mages. The philter turned red in her hand as she approached the younger reflection of me. She yanked his head back and poured the red down his throat. No! No! No!

I watched as he—as I—turned into one of the red ones. Skin tearing, bones breaking, limbs elongating and twisting into a being of flesh and lyrium. A monstrosity. As if all of my sins, all of my failures, were on full display in those red crystals that took over my body. As I gave into the rage, the bitterness, the hatred, the weakness I had been trying so desperately to fight. He stared me down, a bitter sadness in the crimson of his eyes. Those eyes begged to know why I ever set foot on the path to becoming a templar as this was the inevitable end.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he roared at me in rage before tackling me to the ground. He pinned me beneath him as he took one of those crystals and slowly shoved it into my wildly beating heart. I screamed out in pain and defiance as in one last desperate attempt, I used all my strength to flip him onto his back.

I stared into his face and found worry in his green eyes. Green? "Cullen, please," his voice pleaded, but it was wrong. It wasn't my voice. It wasn't even a man's voice. It was...hers. It was...Meira's voice. Suddenly, a soft light appeared, revealing Meira beneath me.

I was atop her, pinning her with my full weight, my hands gripping her wrists painfully. Oh, Maker! Oh, Maker! Maker! I blinked, trying to shake myself out of my dreams, out of my memories, and come back to the present. My entire body shook and I realized I was breathing raggedly. Meira. It's Meira. We're in my tent. She's in my tent. Why?

"M-Meira?" I panted.

"Yes, you're safe. It was a nightmare," she explained, her voice calm, a soft smile on her lips despite her worry.

"Meira?" I croaked. Oh, Maker, what have I done? As gently as I could, I released her wrists and backed as far away from her as I could on my hands and knees. I tried to get as far away as I could, but the tent was small. I studied her face, terrified that I had hurt her. I felt the remnants of her magic on my skin: ice on my wrists and along my forehead where she'd tried to cool me down. "Maker, Meira. What are you doing in here?" I felt myself still shaking, the weakness bordering on overwhelming in the wake of the nightmares.

"It's a long story," she murmured, her eyes searching my face. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Meira. Tonight is—," I let out a groan of pain as my arms buckled from under me. Maker, please, don't let her see me like this.

"Cullen!" She lunged for me, catching me before I hit the ground. "Cullen, please, tell me what I can do." She cradled my head in her lap, running her fingers through my sweat-dampened hair.

"Tonight is not a good night," I murmured bitterly after the weak spell subsided. "Please, don't worry." I pushed myself up and stroked her cheek.

"Purpose was concerned enough to drop me here," she grumbled. "And I am most assuredly worried." She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close.

"I am sorry," I apologized, wanting to release myself from her grip, but not wanting to leave it either. "Did I hurt you?"

"Don't apologize," she rubbed her fingers along my neck. "You didn't hurt me, I was prepared. Let me care for you."

"Al-all right," I conceded. "What—"

"First, your clothes are wet and it's too cold for you to sleep that way. You'll get sick. Let me dry everything," she instructed. "While I do that, you need to drink plenty of water." She passed me the skin of water I had in the tent.

"You...you want me to undress?" I asked, heat rising in my face.

"Cullen, I want you to undress so I can dry your clothes. Fear not, Commander, I will not take advantage of you," she flashed an impish grin that didn't quite reach her eyes. Not the demon. The demon could never get her humor right.

I blushed deeply. "That's not-I wasn't- Maker's breath."

She chuckled as she put her back to me. She had started to dry my wool blanket. I began to undress, doing my best to ignore the blush spreading all over my face and body as I did. While she worked, she told me how she ended up in my tent. The potion she'd been taking to keep her out of the Fade had been destroyed by the corrupted templars. Upon waking in the Fade, Purpose had been there to guide her.

Her voice was elated as she described everything the spirit had showed her, of what she had learned how to do. She'd been able to see Therinfal in its every state throughout time; had been able to speak with other spirits that inhabited the Fade nearby. As she spoke of them, they sounded much like people, but their actions and words were the embodiment of the emotion they represented. She laughed as she told me how a Spirit of Courage had helped us with our kiss; expressed her gratitude as she described how a Spirit of Valor had assisted us in our fight against the corrupted templars.

I asked the occasional question, wanting to understand, but mostly wanting to soak in her voice as she spoke so passionately about it. I worried for her; worried what these powers meant for her, but she was so...excited. How she could manipulate the Fade, learn from the spirits—all that she could potentially do. So, I listened, knowing I would have to voice my concern eventually, but for now I let her speak.

The things she could do—had done—proved hard for my mind to wrap around. I could tell as she spoke that, no matter her excitement, she knew the darkness that lurked at the heart of her abilities. That became all the more evident as she described Purpose's final lesson for her: entering dreams.

"Purpose wanted you to enter dreams?" I asked, pausing my struggle to shimmy my leather breeches off. My sweat slick skin causing them to cling to me. Maker, what must she think of me?

"To help," Meira nodded, her voice quiet. "He says I am a bridge between the mortal world and the Fade. That mages like me should be able to help mortals that suffer in their dreams." She paused a moment as if she wanted to turn, but she didn't. "He wanted me to help you, but I refused. I've done so by accident already. I will not enter another's dreams intentionally without their permission. I would not betray your trust like that."

A deep sense of gratitude flooded through me at her words. What she would have seen tonight...Maker, thank you. I leaned towards her, placing my hand on her slender shoulder and running my thumb along the curve of her shoulder and neck. "Thank you," I breathed.

I let her go to grab my damp clothes, placing them next to her leg. She passed the wool blanket to me, and I swung it around my shoulders to cover my naked body. I tried not to think of the fact that I was in only my smalls and Meira sat before me in nothing but the hide bodysuit that clung to her every curve. After a moment, she turned to me and I looked away from her to keep my gaze from dropping to her torso.

I pulled the blanket tighter around me as I reached to grab my fur mantle. I held it out to her, her dark brow quirking. I cleared my throat, unable to meet her eyes. "Cou-Could you put this on, please?"

Confused, she took the mantle, her fingers brushing mine and searing me as my nerves tingled. In my peripheral, I saw her put her arms through the mantle and pull it around her. Tugging my blanket tighter still, I scratched an itch on my chin as my face burned with a blush. I cleared my throat. "Did you...enjoy the Fade?"

She smiled. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, either. I was enraptured by her in my fur and thoughts came unbidden that I forced away. I concentrated on her words. "I did. It was...amazing. The spirits, what I can do. It was also frightening, but I don't think it's a bad thing to have a healthy dose of reverence for the powers I seem to hold."

"I do not believe so, either," I nodded, glancing at her. "I will admit it does sound extraordinary." She smiled wider at me, and I had to look away again to avoid being impertinent. I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold.

"I'm nearly finished," she assured as she continued to work on my clothing. I could not find words, and she did not seem to mind sitting in silence as she worked her magic. My eyes were drawn to her hands as the light and power weaved through her slender fingers and into the fabric of my tunic. I glanced up at her face, watching as she concentrated. "Does it bother you?" she asked as her eyes met mine.

I quirked a brow. "What?"

"My magic? Does it bother you for me to use it?" she asked.

I shook my head. "There was a time that the smallest use would send me back there, but...that has lessened." I met her jade eyes. "That's not to say that I want mages going unchecked. I trust you. Trust Bethany and the others that have proven themselves in the Inquisition. I still struggle with my trust of magic, but...perhaps someday I can remember the good before I remember the bad."

"I'm sorry," she offered. "I'm glad it is getting better."

My lips twitched. "As am I. I was growing tired of caring for my own wounds all the time."

"After your excellent care of the cut on your lip?" she quirked a brow, fighting a smile. "You should consider becoming a healer yourself."

I smirked. "I don't think my patients would appreciate my work."

"Mmm, but I do," she purred as she boldly looked at the scar on my lip before her eyes flicked over me. Maker, what a sight I must be. Naked, bundled in a blanket, no doubt an utter mess from my nightmares. Blood pounded in my face, but I gave her a sheepish smile as she smiled at me. "That should do it."

She handed me my clothes. Without thinking, I shrugged out of the blanket before she had turned, exposing my upper body to her. I swallowed thickly as I watched her slowly glance over me; watched as her own throat bobbed before she put her back to me. Blood pumping hotter through my being, I quickly dressed before I did something foolish.

"Done." I stated and she turned. I met her eyes. "Thank you for...tonight."

"I apologize for Purpose just dropping me in here. I wasn't aware spirits could do that," she rolled her eyes.

I chuckled. "They seem to have taken a particular interest in you."

"In you as well, it seems," she murmured. She met my eyes and blushed a little. "I should get back to my own tent."

"I suppose you should," I rested my arms on my knees, gripping my hands to keep from taking her into my arms. Even though I want you to stay.

"I'll see you soon," she smiled as she removed my mantle and I had to look away again.

"See you soon," I choked out, my heart pounding in my throat.

She turned to the tent flap and just as she was opening it, I lunged forward to grasp her hips. Gently, I pulled her back against me, wrapping my arms around her waist. My heart was thundering, my breathing ragged again as I buried my face in the crook of her neck. I grazed the exposed skin along the curve of her neck with my nose and lips.

"Meira," I whispered against the skin below her ear, and I felt her shudder against me. "Meira, Meira," I kept murmuring against her skin, feeling her pulse quicken beneath my lips as she leaned into my touch, a sigh tumbling from her mouth.

That fire blazed in my core, my heart pumping faster and faster, my control threatening to slip again. I held her tighter for a moment before I released her. She turned, her eyes dark, and it took every ounce of my will not to put her beneath me and capture her mouth in a passionate kiss as she ran a thumb along my cheek. She practically threw herself out of the tent and I groaned as I tossed myself back onto my bedroll.

Maker, this will be the death of me—if withdrawal doesn't take me first. 

…

There was no more sleep to be had as that fire continued to burn within me, bringing only thoughts of Meira to mind. I tossed and turned on my bedroll, my arms aching to hold her. With a frustrated sigh, I wrenched myself off the ground and began strapping my armor back on before collecting my things, rolling up my bedroll, and flicking the flap of my tent open.

I spotted Meira, my eyes going to her—finding her—on their own. She stood with Cassandra outside their tent; her armor, thankfully, in place. I made my way over to them, my eyes hardly straying from Meira as I came closer and I noticed the blush blooming on her cheeks. I gave her a smirk in response which made her look away from me.

"Herald," I nodded when I stood before them. "Lady Cassandra," I nodded. "We should speak with Barris before we depart."

"A moment, my dears," Vivienne's voice spoke from behind Meira and we turned. "It is good that you salvaged as many templars as you did, my dear. We will need every templar, but they will require proper management. We also need to increase our lyrium supplies considerably. The Chantry may still have stockpiles we can use."

"Commander Cullen will look into it," Meira gestured to me, her eyes finding mine. "You already have a supply line, do you not?"

"I—" I began. She trusts me with this?

Vivienne's dark eyes landed on me. "You undoubtedly did, but it was established before the Divine Conclave." Vivienne looked back to Meira. I furrowed my brow and crossed my arms over my chest. "The situation has changed. The Breach has done more than disfigure the sky. The Veil itself is broken. All mages, no matter how skilled, are now in danger of drawing demons to themselves. Before this crisis is over, you may find that templars, flawed as they may be, are all that stand between us and chaos."

"You have a low opinion of your fellow mages," Meira stated to the woman as her brow quirked.

"It is not a matter of opinion, my dear," Vivienne reasoned. "I have a close relationship with reality. Many of my colleagues do not. Magic is dangerous, just as fire is dangerous. Anyone who forgets this truth gets burned."

"I agree, Vivienne," Meira inclined her head. Meira remembered the dangers of magic but knew that her fellow mages were not entirely without self-control. The problem was the Breach made for an unexpected variable: we didn't know how much it was affecting mages. Would her magic change with its closure? Would things return to normal once it was closed or was the damage it had done permanent?

Vivienne studied Meira intently for a moment. "Tell me something. You said once that you wanted to change things. What future would you build for mages?"

"As I've said, the Circle has to be restored if we want to keep the peace, but I would see it changed. The Order as well, from the foundation up. If yesterday was not proof enough of the desperate need for change," Meira offered. "We already spoke on the details of my thoughts."

"It is still a comfort to know that you would see the Circles restored, but you'll find opposition to the idea even among friends," she warned. "Even more so what will constitute as sufficient 'change'. It's something to consider, my dear."

"I shall, Madame Vivienne," Meira gave a slight bow. "Will you be all right here until the Inquisition soldiers come?"

"No need to worry about me, my dear," Vivienne had turned to leave, but looked over her shoulder. "Nobles and templars; both crowds I am used to handling."

"If you've need of anything, do let us know." Vivienne gave a smirk in response but nodded slightly.

"I thought I was the only mage who sees the value of templars," Meira muttered as she watched Vivienne walk away.

"Perhaps your opinion is biased, Herald?" Cassandra quirked a brow. 

I coughed in surprise as Meira let out a chuckle at Cassandra's wit. "Perhaps, Seeker." Meira glanced at me. "What about the lyrium, Cullen?"

I met her gaze. "We will have to reestablish supply lines, Vivienne is correct. Lady Josephine was working on a few connections, but we will address it upon our return."

Meira glanced away, a thought crossing her face. "Is it necessary for templars to use lyrium? Seekers can use their own abilities and templar abilities without it. Perhaps we can find a way to allow templars to use their abilities without the lyrium and the fear of addiction." Meira looked between Cassandra and I.

I looked at Meira in surprise and did my best to ignore Cassandra's eyes that were boring into my face. "I would welcome such research."

"Yesterday you were upset with Cassandra for suggesting it?" Meira cocked her head.

"Right now, lyrium is the only way we know of that allows templars to use their abilities; we need them to use their skills. However, if we can find a way for them to deny magic, free of lyrium once the Breach is sealed, I would give my full support," I explained.

"I hope it can be done. Lyrium is too easy of a way to manipulate the men and women of the Order," Cassandra stated.

"And now with red lyrium…," Meira mused. "We need to do away with it all, if we can." I need to tell her. 

"Well, are we ready to get this show on the road?" Varric's gravelly voice asked as he approached. 

…

We were well away from Therinfal, Meira recounting the events of yesterday upon Varric's request. She had just been getting to the part with Purpose and Cole when the boy appeared next to her. Varric let out a surprised yell and a blasphemous swear that made me blush after coughing. Cassandra and I stepped away from the boy.

"I startled again, didn't I?" Cole asked. "I stayed hidden with the templars, unless they needed me. Most wouldn't like me."

"It's all right, Cole," Meira assured. "I'm just glad you're not hurt."

"I am not hurt. I help the hurt," he looked to Meira. This...spirit. I wish it made sense.

"I meant, I'm glad you're not injured," Meira corrected.

"No. It's less loud here," he looked to the ground again.

"Good," Meira smiled. 

Cole looked to her. "You took in the templars. You let them stay in strength even after what they did. Their own people." He sounded upset. "It is dangerous when too many men in the same armor think they're right. You should prepare. It's already getting louder."

"What's going to be loud?" Meira asked.

"I don't know, but there are echoes, rushing back across us, ripples in a pond from a stone, but backward." Meira glanced at me. I was pretending not to listen to the creature, but my ears pricked up at his mention of preparing. I could have sworn I heard Meira chuckle. "But first, you seal it. I hope it hurts less. I'll help if I can, but I don't always say it right."

Meira looked to the boy, her face softening. "You helped me at the Seeker fortress. Say it however you like."

Cole seemed surprised. "I helped. It's good to hear. I will try."

"So...who is this?" Varric asked, a brow raised.

"This is Cole, the spirit that helped me against Envy," Meira stated to the dwarf.

"You are Varric," Cole stated.

"That's right," Varric nodded before he studied the boy for a moment. "Why do you look human?"

"It was the shape that would help," Cole looked to Varric.

"Huh. Most people don't pick a shape," Varric observed. "I guess I was hoping for something deeper with that question."

"It had to be him," Cole murmured. "But harmless. The him he wanted that wouldn't hurt." I scowled at his nonsensical words. 

"Well, that's... deeper. I think," Varric voiced.

Meira turned back to Cole. "I'd like to talk with you about the templars. You observed them for a time before we arrived."

I nearly tripped over my own feet at Meira's question. What would she ask a spirit about templars? Why didn't she ask me? What would the spirit say? Was she safe to trust it?

"They're heavy with forgotten songs, like Varric. Some of them are too loud," Cole's brow furrowed. "It's hard to stay near them. Cullen is softer, but demons asked questions that hurt him." I inhaled sharply at the boy's words. "Evangeline was kinder." Forgotten songs? I am softer? How did this creature know about the demons' questions? I was there for a moment, but I pulled myself back to the present. Is it demon or spirit? Cole became agitated. "I want to explain, but I...Rhys's mother spoke to spirits, but not to him. Then she died for a templar he loved. Words just bounce off the edges."

"What is your opinion of templars?" Meira asked.

"Some like hurting mages," Cole stated, his voice dark. "It makes them happy, or less afraid, or..." He became agitated again. "Dreams again, woke up shaking. Stalking the grounds for one who looks like her. Always some rule being broken." I closed my eyes at those words, them nearly a perfect description of Meredith—searching for her mage sister in every mage. He settled. "But not all templars listen when whispers crawl around inside them. They try to protect people." He glanced my way, his blue-grey eyes finding mine before he turned back to Meira. "Like Cullen. The good ones remember that mages are people." 

"Guess you even have admirers in the Fade, Curly," Varric laughed. 

"I do not think that's what it meant," I retorted.

"Cole," Cole spoke, slightly offended. "My name is Cole. Not 'it'. Old whispers stir; old scars itch as the spirit talks. But it soothes. They sounded like screams. Is it spirit or demon? Is she safe? Am I?" Cole looked up at me again, his eyes boring into mine. "I want to help. They wanted to hurt." It...it read my mind. My hands went to my sword, but I couldn't help the blush that crept into my face.

Meira glanced at me, a small smile on her lips as she watched me for a moment before looking back to Cole. I looked away from her, rubbing the back of my neck. "Can you tell me more about how the templars feel to you?"

"They feel older than they look," Cole voiced. "They've been changed, and their bodies are incomplete now." I whipped my head back towards Cole at his words. "The lyrium helps, but their bodies always want to connect to...something older. Bigger than they are." How does he know this? How does he describe it so well? "That's why they block magic. They reach for that other thing, and magic has no room to come in. Like when I listen to Varric."

"We've just met, kid," Varric chuckled.

"You just met me, but I'd already met you," Cole said to Varric.

"Well, that's...different," Varric's smile faltered.

"How are the red templars different?" Meira asked Cole, her voice nearing impatient.

The boy turned back to Meira. "The red lyrium is different, darker. Daggers under the skin. It eats you inside, until you're nothing. They hear a different song. The song behind the door old whispers want opened. They are dead and dark and done." Like Meredith. I'd watched my mentor, flawed as she was, go from a woman who tried to be reasonable to a woman completely twisted by her fear. Would I become that? I still feared magic. Not as badly as I had, but if these nightmares continued...would I be able to—Cole turned to me and spoke, "Just because she was red doesn't mean you are." 

I stared at him for a moment before looking away. I did not like that he shared my intimate thoughts with the others; did not like the fact that he could hear them, understand them almost better than I could.

"So, you can make people not see you, Cole," Varric voiced. "Can you do that for other people?"

"Yes," Cole nodded as he looked to the dwarf. "It makes me tired and doesn't work if they're loud. Or angry. Or bright."

"Hm, what about things? Can you make people ignore an object?"

Cole thought a moment. "Maybe. Like what?"

Varric was fighting a smirk. "Oh, I don't know. A book, or a box...or a crate...or a wagon full of crates?"

"Dwarf," Cassandra hissed.

"I'm just asking!" Varric stated.

Cassandra made a disgusted noise as Meira laughed. 

"So Curly, how are you going to make it up to me for costing me ten silvers?" Varric asked as his russet eyes found me. 

I started stammering, my face going red.

"What?" Meira asked. "Why'd he cost you ten silvers?"

"I—" I began to speak.

"No, I want to hear this one as well," Cassandra cut me off. I shot her a glare.

"I had more faith in Curly's defenses," Varric shrugged. "I guess he cares for you too much to not talk about it when given the opportunity."

"Blood hot, heart pounding, hands shaking as I long to hold her. I toss and turn, thinking only of her eyes as they sparkle, her laugh as it warms my heart, her lips on mine, of her curves under my hands. Does she know? Does she know what she means to me?" Cole spoke. "I want to tell her, but is she ready? Does she feel the same?"

"Oh, ho, sounds like there's a little more going on here than crushes and flirtation," Varric chuckled. "Tell us more, kid."

"Do not," I barked at Cole. 

"So that was you?" Varric quirked a brow. "I thought maybe he was reading my mind, but it was you, Curly." Varric turned to Meira. "Your beau couldn't wait to fess up to Chuckles how he feels about you when they were talking about having that staff made for you, Talitha." The dwarf sighed. "I bet the elf five silvers that he couldn't get Curly to admit it in less than three tries. Chuckles did it in two. This was after he told me of the whole 'bait and switch' plan. Genius." Varric snorted. "Just let me be around when Curly gets you two confused and tries to kiss Ellana."

Meira and Cassandra laughed heartily. The dwarf flashed me a wicked grin and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Cole was looking around at everything as if he hadn't just shared my innermost thoughts with everyone concerning the female I loved and my desire for her. I flicked my eyes towards Meira, knowing my face was red from my ears to my neck. Her eyes were on me, sparkling with mirth. Oh, Maker.

…

I spent the remainder of our travel time sulking in my embarrassment. I praised the Maker when we approached South Reach. The Inquisition soldiers had arrived shortly before we did, horses and supplies we could use in tow. We decided to stay the night and push hard for Haven in the morning. We paid for rooms at the inn we'd stayed at on our way through, and I quickly hid within mine.

I stripped down and threw myself into the copper tub, welcoming the cold water. It cooled the heat of my blood and brought the pain of my joints and muscles to the forefront of my mind. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. As soon as I did, all I could see was Meira and my blood heated up again.

"Maker's breath!" I swore and pulled myself from the tub after quickly scrubbing myself down.

I used the towel to dry myself off before roughly drying my hair, gritting my teeth, as I knew my curls would be fully present and it'd take work to get them tame again. I groaned, not wanting to go through the process, but knowing I'd look like a child with the golden spirals.

I wrapped the towel around my hips as I washed my smalls and tunic; no doubt they smelled of sweat after the previous night. Maker. I did not deserve Meira's care. How had she so willingly cared for me after seeing me in such a state? After pinning her to the ground? Again. Is she safe with me?  

There was a light knock on the door. I nearly opened it before remembering that I was in only a towel. "A moment, please."

"Of course," Meira's voice answered and my heart skipped in my chest. "I can come back later?"

I hesitated. I wanted to see her, but I...Maker, Rutherford, get a hold of yourself. You are a man, not a boy. "Just need to dress." I turned to the room. Dress in what?

"Commander," Meira spoke. "The soldiers provided some extra clothing. Lady Cassandra told them most of our supplies had been destroyed and we were in need of anything they could spare. I brought you some things that looked to be your size."

Blushing, I went to the door and opened it a crack. I found Meira standing there, her disguise in place, a smile tugging on her lips. "That...would be appreciated."

She bit her lip and handed me the clothing. My hand covered hers and our eyes met. My heart thundered in my chest and my breath caught as her gaze flicked to my lips. "Thank you," I murmured and pulled the clothes into the room.

"You're welcome," she breathed. She hesitated a moment before meeting my eyes. "Could we...would you like to have dinner together?"

I blinked and could not help the grin that spread on my face. "Yes, I would."

She smiled broadly. "Meet you in an hour?"

"An hour," I nodded.

She turned and made her way back to the room she was sharing with Cassandra. Varric had paid for his own room but offered to take Cole around the city. Cassandra was filling out reports, adding mine and Meira's to hers before she sent them to Haven. She'd requested an audience with the Arl of South Reach, wanting to inform him of the situation that had occurred at Therinfal and petition that he station more soldiers within his lands.

I had asked if she wanted me to go, but she refused. Instead, she knew I needed to see to the Inquisition soldiers, our supplies, and seeing the contingent off that was to escort Vivienne and the nobles. That seen to and Cassandra off, I had retreated back to my room for a bath. I dressed quickly, taking a moment to appreciate the smell and feel of fresh linen.

With an exasperated sigh, I stared at my comb and the wax. Rewetting my hair, I dried it until it was damp. Pulling the comb through my curls until they were waves instead of spirals, I took some of the wax into my hands working it between my palms. Ignoring the soreness in my fingers and joints, longing for my salve, I focused on dinner with Meira. I smoothed my hair with the wax, working it into the strands until they were as I preferred them.

Once done, I cleaned my armor of any blood and grime before putting it back on. Groaning a little as the weight settled on my aching back and legs, I tied my sword to my belt. Another knock on my door and I hurried to answer it.

Meira stood with her back to me; she had the hood of her uniform pulled up. "M-Yes?" She turned and smiled brightly. She'd put on makeup—where she'd gotten it, I had no idea, but her eyes were lined with kohl, her lips tinted and shiny. I stepped back so she could enter.

"Dinner should be here momentarily," she spoke. "I hope it's okay that I ordered?"

"Of course," I nodded.

Her cheeks pinked as I looked at her. Is she...nervous? My heart quickened. "Are you...why do you seem nervous?"

She looked at me in surprise, her eyes sparkling. "Do I?" She put her hands to her cheeks. "I suppose I am a little."

I swallowed thickly. "Why?"

She bit her lip. "You said you hadn't properly wooed me and...well here's to starting," she met my eyes as she clasped her hands behind her. She smiled softly, glancing at me through her dark lashes. "Cullen, this is me telling you that I want you to court me."

"C-Court you?" I hadn't heard that word since I was a boy at Mother's knee. She'd been talking about one of the farm girls in Honnleath being courted. I asked her what that meant and she got this soft smile on her face as she looked at Father. She'd explained that it was when a man pursued the woman he loved in order to marry her. It usually was a drawn-out process that began with the man asking for her father's permission, then wooing the woman with romance, and, if all went well, the result was their marriage. Sh-she's telling me...she's saying...Is she saying what I think she's saying? "Y-you asked to have dinner with me as a... gesture of acceptance?" I stammered.

She looked to the ground, bringing her hands to the front and twisting her fingers. "I know you probably wanted to take the first step, but...," Her jade eyes met mine and I couldn't breathe at the warmth they held. "We kind of began...out of order, anyway, and...well our circumstances are not exactly ordinary." Her face fell a little at those words. "Besides, we waited nearly twelve years for that kiss. I wasn't going to wait any longer." She blushed a little as she looked away. "I know this is an indulgence, but...I didn't know when we'd next have the opportunity."

I took her hand in mine. "I am pleased that you thought of it." I chuckled. "I just wish I had thought of it first."

She laughed sweetly. "You're welcome to take the lead from here."

Well, it seems I need to do some reading...and ask for advice. But who would I ask? Of the human nations and cultures I'd experienced or learned of, courting was not the route taken by many; especially those of larger cities or of higher status as marriages were little more than transactions and pleasure could be found easily enough outside of it for those who sought it. Templars rarely married because it was actively discouraged and the rules around it made it complicated. Genuine courtship seemed to be a rarity in the larger world, but a commonplace tradition amongst human country-folk. An honest custom for honest people. I glanced at Meira, who was studying me. But it's what she wants.

There was a knock on the door and we broke apart. Meira hid behind the nearby screen, and my stomach sank with embarrassment as I saw my smalls hanging over it to dry. Maker's...Honestly, Rutherford. 

"You ordered dinner, ser?" The attendant asked as she carried in a large tray of food.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Are you going to fight the stew, ser?" The attendant eyed my armor and sword after she'd set the tray down on the small table.

I heard Meira stifle a laugh and I looked down at myself. I crossed my arms over my chest. "A force of habit, I'm afraid."

The attendant let out a chuckle. "I suppose we all must dress our best for dinner, even dinner alone. Do eat all of this, young man, you look like you could use some meat on your bones."

"Thank you for the advice," I grumbled.

The attendant chuckled again, her wrinkled eyes sparkling. "Just leave the tray outside the door when you're finished."

"Thank you," I nodded.

As soon as the door was closed, Meira burst into laughter as she came around the screen. She'd removed the hooded cloak she'd been wearing, revealing her natural, soft curls that fell around her like gentle spirals of spilled ink. She looked positively radiant as her laugh lit up her face. My stomach quivered with nerves as her eyes met mine. She wore a simple linen blouse, leather leggings and fine boots, but she looked as lovely as ever.

When she quieted, her jade eyes glanced over me. "That attendant had a point. Must you wear armor?"

I smirked. "Are you asking me to...slip into something more comfortable?"

She flashed a wicked grin. "Perhaps, Commander."

"Very well," I sighed. "Give me a moment."

"I'll set the table," she offered.

I slid behind the screen and took the opportunity to hide my smalls beneath my discarded layers. As I came around the screen, I rolled up the sleeves of my tunic as they were a bit on the short side for me anyway. Meira's eyes were on me; heat prickled across the nape of my neck as she blushed when our eyes met.

She stood before the table but stepped aside as I came close and threaded an arm around my waist as she gestured to the food. "I ordered one bowl of turnip and barley and a bowl of lamb and pea. Take whichever you'd prefer. There's some bread as well. An ale for you and a glass of watered wine for me." She smiled excitedly. "They even had a dessert, so I ordered that." She pointed at a small, spiced cake.

Hesitantly, I put an arm around her in return. "It looks wonderful."

She chuckled. "It'll probably taste dreadful, but it'll be fun anyway."

I smiled as I pulled her close to me. "You're probably right. Mother's cooking was about the only good Fereldan food I've had."

Her eyes found mine as she looked up to me. "That's what I want to do tonight. I want to talk about everything. I want to hear everything about you. Everything I don't know, everything I missed."

I met her gaze, my face softening. "All in one night? That's more talking than I've done in my lifetime."

She chuckled before glaring at me halfheartedly. "Cullen Rutherford, this is your first opportunity to woo me. Don't you want to make the most of it?"

I was quiet a moment. "If I may ask, how do you know of courtship? It's…not exactly a commonplace practice."

"Perhaps not, but among the Dalish we called it Bonding. It's not dissimilar from the courtship discussed in traditional romance novels or the idealism of the chivalric code. An intentional pursuit that follows a sort of ritualism passed down through the generations."

"But you…you do understand what you're asking?"

She looked me square in the face. "I do. Do you?"

There was no humor in that question. She was serious. This was more than a symbolic custom she was asking me to follow. Meira was not so shallow as that. There was a purpose to it, deeper than what it represented to our two races and their respective cultures. My heart ached as the pieces clicked. She'd had everything stripped from her at the hands of a cruel man. She was wanting me to woo her with honor and chivalry because it had been forcibly denied her before. She was setting clear expectations while simultaneously telling me that she trusted me to fulfill them; that she wanted me to be the lionhearted knight she saw in me. My heart swelled with pride at the duty she was calling me to, that she believed I could answer—and I would answer. But one question still remained: why me?

I gazed at her and asked her plainly, "Why?"

Her jade eyes softened as her cheeks bloomed with color, but she did not look away. Instead, her gaze turned piercing. "Because Cullen…I love you."

I blinked at her. I love you. Had she truly said those words? "You...you love me?" I asked, quietly, afraid it wasn't true.

She lowered her eyes, her face lovely as her dark lashes kissed her rose-tinged cheeks. Slowly, she looked at me from beneath her lashes. Releasing a shaky breath, she confessed again, "I love you, Cullen."

My heart stopped and then began beating so fast I thought it would fly from my chest. Gently, I took her face in my hands; her eyes grew hesitant to meet mine as uncertainty flitted across her features. Thumbs caressing her skin until she finally met my gaze, my gut flipping at the hope they held, I tenderly smiled at her. Softly, I spoke the words, fearing that if I spoke them aloud this spell would break. "And I love you, Meira."

Then I kissed her, so gently, so tenderly, that she melted against me. Yet, I stayed strong; felt stronger as I held her, felt safe as I told her the depths of my heart, felt whole as the love of my life—the woman I had waited for—told me she loved me.

Despite how I have hurt her, despite how far I have fallen, despite everything, she loves me. She loves me. She loves me.

I could hardly breathe for the feeling overwhelming me. She saw me; saw me as no other, but the Maker saw me, and still she was giving me her heart. She saw me as I was and wanted my heart yet still.

"Then, you will talk until you're blue in the face," she breathily challenged when our lips parted.

I chortled as our noses grazed. "So long as you do the same, my darling." I took her hand and kissed it before pulling her chair out for her. Once she sat, I pushed it in before coming around the table to sit in my own chair.

 We divvied up the food and began eating, laughing as it was indeed dreadful. That's where we began: at food. We talked about how our mother's used to cook; hers far more practical than even what my mother used to prepare. The clan had shared communal meals where everyone contributed something. We laughed over which foods we'd despised as children: she anything green while I'd hated turnips.

We talked about family; our parents, our grandparents, cousins. Meira told me what little of Mahanon she remembered, of her adventures with Ellana when they were little. Studying her face, I was glad to see that, despite everything that had happened at the fortress, she spoke without sadness. She told me more of clan life, how she'd been taught her basic education, how the Keeper had trained her in her magic. She told me what she thought of her siblings, how she hoped that she could get to know them and grow close to them - that they would allow her to.

I told her of the wooden sword and shield Father had made for me and the one he'd made for Branson. I turned the coin over in my pocket as I spoke of Bran: his antics, how he looked like me, what I thought he'd be like now. I kept my fingers around that worn coin as I spoke of Mia and Rosalie, of what I hoped for them. She entwined her fingers into my free hand as I spoke of my siblings. I told her of templar training, of King Alistair as a trainee. How we'd been friends for a time; Alistair reminding me of Bran in a lot of ways and making me feel at home. How disappointed I'd been when we'd been separated.

As we split the spice cake, she told me of her time in the Circle before I'd arrived, how she and Solana had become friends. With a wicked smile, she brought up the time Solana had made Meira so angry, she'd burned her clothes off. I stammered and blushed as I tried to convince her that I had not seen anything, but she smiled at me knowingly and I did my best not to recall that image of her. As payback, I brought up the day we'd been outside the tower and I'd caught her watching me as I wrestled with my friends, winning a pink blush as I did.

Meira asked about Kirkwall and I did my best to speak only of the good pieces I could pull from there. Talking of Meredith before she'd succumbed to her madness, of how she'd been an excellent mentor and had believed in my ability. I told her of the few humorous assignments I'd been sent on, and the few times Hawke had pulled me into her trouble.

She told me what she could remember of her time as a Tranquil; all the knowledge she'd gained and how she'd learned to draw and paint in that time. I told her of the time between Kirkwall and Haven, her hand tightening on mine as sympathy crossed her face. She told me how, even in Tranquility, she'd been drawn to me, as if she'd known. I told her how I'd prayed for a miracle to save her from what I had done.

At that, we both came around the table, adoration taking over as lips met and hands roved. Her hands made their way lazily from my chest into my hair, as mine followed her curves up to her ribs where they splayed across her back. I pulled her tighter against me, feeling as I came alive with her in my arms. I buried my hands in her silky curls as her hands came to curve around my neck and hold my face, her thumb caressing the scar on my lip. I sensed the change in her before she parted my lips to claim me. She hummed her approval and I felt it in my bones. Heart pounding, blood rushing, mind quiet of all, but her. Chest heaving, I broke away to find her eyes darkened and heavy with want as they gazed at me. I caressed her cheek as I curled her hair around her ear, following her jawline as I tipped her chin. A contented smile on her full lips as she met my eyes and placed a hand on my cheek. I pulled her in for a gentle kiss, before pulling away once more. Her hands were on my chest as she looked up at me.

I need to tell her. I need to tell her about my not taking lyrium. "Meira, my dar—"

"Can I sleep with you?" she murmured.

My words died in my throat. My mouth refused to function as my face burned and mind went blank. "Meira, I-I d...I'm...I—"

She took my face in her hands, a small smile on her lips. "Not like that, my knight. I just...I want to be with you. Could we...could you hold me while we sleep?"

"Y-you want...," I cleared my throat. "You want me to hold you as we sleep? You want to sleep at my side even knowing...what may come?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I don't care. I will care for you. I just want to be with you every second that I can before we return to Haven. I-I want...," she looked away, her cheeks blooming with color. "I want to feel your arms around me as I fall asleep."

The room spun at her words as she took my hand and led us to the bed. My ribs were aching with the pounding in my chest. After kicking off her boots, she climbed in first, though she did not get under the covers. I watched as she turned onto her side, her back to me and a blush on her cheeks. "Meira, are you—are you sure?" I asked. 

Her eyes found mine. "I just want you to hold me."

I swallowed thickly as I felt tears prick my eyes at those words. "All right." Removing my own boots, I settled in next to her. Hesitantly, I curled my arm around her waist. She backed into my chest, molding herself to me and I closed my eyes as her warmth, her curves, met my body. I held her tighter, her arm over mine as she laced her fingers through my own. After a moment, she turned and my breath caught as she flattened me to my back. Avoiding my eyes, she laid her head on my shoulder, wrapped her arm around my waist and twined a leg through mine.

As she snuggled into my chest, she murmured. "Goodnight, my love."

I curved an arm around her and gently caressed the arm draped across me from her wrist to her shoulder as I kissed her head. "Goodnight, my darling."

Within moments, she was asleep, heavy with it in my arms. I listened to her steady breaths, her heart beating against me, and held her as tight as I dared while tears slipped silently down my cheeks. 

Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. I would not falter; I would not fail her. 

Maker, you answered my prayer and brought her to me. I cannot look at her, cannot hold her—whole and beautiful, this woman who loves me—and not know, beyond a doubt that it was you. That you made her, made me, made us. Maker, I cannot fail her. Cannot fail them. Cannot fail the Inquisition. I stared up at the ceiling, beseeching the Maker.

Maker, though the darkness comes upon me, I shall embrace the Light. I shall weather the storm. I shall endure. What you have created, no one can tear asunder. I cried out to him. I knew he may not listen, but Andraste could hear me; she understood love and loss. Whatever comes, let us find each other every time. Whatever comes, bring her back to me. Whatever comes, help me to be strong.

For her.

…

As the dawnlight grew brighter, she began to stir. I had not slept, too afraid that if I did, I would wake to it all being a dream. Instead, I had lain awake holding her. She'd moved in the night, but never far from me. Now, she faced me and I her as I laid on my side memorizing her face in the dim sunlight. I'd memorized the angles of her face and whispered I loved her over and over again. Slowly, she blinked awake, her brilliant eyes finding mine. She was surprised for a moment before color bloomed in her cheeks.

"I suppose I got a little bold last night by asking this of you," she murmured. 

I took her chin in my fingers. "You did nothing wrong, my darling."

She looked away from me. "Still, I...should not have asked. It's not fair to you."

I pulled her into my arms. "If this is the only time you want to fall asleep in my arms for however long, then so be it." I chuckled. "I do ask you let me enjoy these final moments, though."

She let out a breathy laugh. "All right."

I cupped her cheek and coaxed her to look at me. "Good morning, my darling."

She smiled widely, still sleepy. "Good morning, my love."

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

She blushed. "Purpose decided I deserved a peaceful night since I'd plucked up the courage to tell you I love you. No roaming, just simple dreams."

I smiled. "I get the feeling I would like this Purpose fellow."

She blushed deeper. "You probably would, considering the fact that he wears your face."

I looked at her confused, but with a bemused smile. "He does?"

She laid back down on my chest. "He's not sure why, but yes, he does. It's your face, but not. There are no scars and his eyes are pure gold instead of your amber."

"You think my eyes are amber?" I questioned, fighting a smirk. "They're brown, like everything in Ferelden."

I felt her laugh against me. "They are not 'brown', Cullen. They are brown with flecks of gold. In lamplight or candlelight, they turn amber, like honey with sunlight shining through. In dim light, they're almost bronze. They are one of my favorite things about you."

"I...thank you." I stroked her back gently. "I-I cannot decide whether I love your eyes, your ears, or your lips most."

She tightened her grip on me. "So long as you love me, your favorite can change on the hour."

It was my turn to laugh. "As you say, my darling."

She sighed heavily. "I suppose I should slip out before it gets much lighter."

A thought occurred to me and I blanched. "Did you...did you tell Cassandra? She's not going to cut me down in honor of your virtue, is she?"

Meira laughed heartily as she sat up. "It was Cass's idea. She's the one that gave me the makeup to use, and she told you to stay here so we could have dinner. It was her idea for me to ask if I could just...be held by you." She blushed a little as she looked me over. "Did you sleep at all?"

"No," I murmured, her face falling as worry flickered across her brow. I sat up on my elbow and put a hand to her cheek. She leaned into my touch. "I didn't mean to worry you."

She met my gaze. "I was hoping that maybe having me here would help with your nightmares," she admitted. "It was foolish to think that, but...I wanted to try."

"Then, I am sorry that I didn't fall asleep to see if it would help," I offered. "I was too...happy."

Her jade eyes flicked to me in surprise before she smiled so freely, my heart twisted. "I am happy, too, Cullen. You make me happy."

My heart ached at those words. How do I make you happy? I rose to meet her lips, my hand sliding to cup the nape of her neck, my fingers twisting in her hair. We fell back against the bed, her hands on my chest, holding my shirt in her fists. I held her head, my other hand on her side. I broke away to brush her nose with mine. "I love you."

I felt her smile. "And I love you." At that, she pulled away to pull on her boots and don her hood.

I laid back on the bed, tucking an arm behind my head as I let out a contented sigh, watching her as she moved about the room. At the door, she turned to look at me, a beautiful smile on her lovely lips before she slipped out the door.

…

Our time ended, we gathered our things quickly to press hard for Haven. I looked back at South Reach as we left, guilt twisting in my gut at the thought of having been so close to my siblings and not seeking them out. Meira's fingers brushed mine and I turned to find her eyes.

"We will come back, Cullen," she murmured, Varric and Cassandra ahead of us. "If you must, blame the Herald."

I smiled gratefully at her. "I won't do that but thank you for offering. I wrote Mia a letter some time ago and have not heard back. I didn't want to show up on her doorstep. She would have welcomed me, but I think...I think we all need some time before that first reunion."

She studied my face and nodded. "I understand, but my love," I met her gaze when she paused before continuing. "It doesn't do to be without family."

I smirked as she turned my own words against me. "I know, my darling. Soon." I looked back at the city fading. "Soon."

I had more than one reason to visit them now. The first, to make up for all my years of absence; to see if they would accept the man their brother had become. The second, to ask Mia if she had Mother's ring. I knew Bran might have used it—and he'd have had more right—but still...I wanted to know. My eyes looked to Meira as she rode her horse with confidence. There was someone in my life I wanted to give it to, and giving her Mother's ring would be as close to Meira being able to meet her as I could do.

The figures that had been shrouded now appeared before me. Terror gripped my heart as my eyes landed upon Cullen and Cassandra. They stood side by side, their faces expressionless, staring into nothing. I knew this wasn't real, but I couldn't help fearing for them. My head was pounding; my skull feeling as if it were trying to come apart, but I forced myself to think. I've felt pain like this before...the demon at the farmlands. Demon. This is a demon. But what kind? I heard a gasp and I jumped before turning to the noise.

Vivienne stalked out of the shadows, a predatory smile on her pretty face. "Is this shape useful?" it questioned in Vivienne's voice. "Will it let me know you?" I stayed silent, but the creature only studied me as it went on. "Everything tells me about you." She approached Cullen, standing behind him as her smile grew wider, nearing unnatural. She circled an arm around him, bringing a dagger to his throat. Maker, please no. "So will this: watch," she purred.

She held her blade still over the spot where Cullen's pulse pounded. It's not real. It's not real. Her eyes stared at me hungrily, but she waited as if wanting me to speak, to react. "Will it let me know you?" It needed me to react. It had sifted through my mind, but that didn't tell it who I was, how I reacted. That's what it was looking for now. I had to outwit it.

A voice spoke - Purpose? Question. Question it. 

It needed me to react, but to do what? So it could imitate me? It had Cullen here and surely it had seen our relationship in my mind. Desire? It held a blade to his throat, which was no desire of mine.

Are you sure? Another voice questioned. I flinched. 

What is going on? I asked myself.

Focus. You need to focus. Question it, Meira.

My mind was getting a little crowded and anger started to burn in my gut, clearing my thoughts. I had suffered at the hands of another demon and this one did not scare me. "A demon. Am I supposed to scream in terror next?" I quirked a brow, my voice deadly calm.

This seem to give the creature pause, but it dragged the dagger across Cullen's throat. I bit back my cry as I watched blood spurt from his open neck. Covering the creature, covering me, covering the ground as he collapsed upon it.

"Scream in terror next?" the creature mimicked, it's voice sounding more like my own than Vivienne’s. It backed away from Cullen's body, swallowed by the misty shadows as an evil smile spread on Vivienne's lips.

"Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker," Cassandra laughed as she sauntered towards me, twirling a dagger between her fingers.

She bared her teeth in a smile as she walked passed me before disappearing. I turned towards her, looking out on where I had entered from. The burning corpses were frozen in their agony, fire burning in their eye sockets. Beyond them, I could see the faint glow of pulsing red lyrium jutting out of the ground.

"Do you know what you can become?" Cassandra's voice asked, her breath on my neck. I whirled towards her, but she was gone. "You'll see." I heard strange murmuring within the fog, faint screams as well. "When I'm done, the Elder One will kill the Herald and ascend. Then I will be the Herald—I'll use your face to get hers."

The Elder One? "Who is this Elder One?" I asked the air.

A cackle in answer. "He is between things. Mortal once, but no longer."

He. "And this Elder One thinks he can become divine?" I questioned. Of course. If this Elder One killed the Divine, would it not make sense that he'd do it to prove he is above the Maker? This Elder One was a fanatic. "That's the oldest conceit of mortals," I growled. That kind of hubris was the cause of the Blight.

Another laugh, but this one brushed the skin on my neck. I twisted around, but once again the creature was gone. Questioning. Curious? A sharp mind is a desirable trait. I clenched my jaw as pain shot through my spine.

"He knows, he was there," Cassandra's voice spoke. There? He was there? What does that mean? I heard footsteps behind me. "Glory is coming." I felt as the creature walked around to face me. Cassandra's dark eyes stared at me, her face stretching into a smile. "And the Elder One wants you to serve him like everyone else: by dying in the right way."

I stared the creature down. I will not die at your hands, nor will I let you use my face. "I saw through your game. What else do you think you can gain?"

Her mouth stretched even further, the smile becoming grotesque. "You are under the mistaken impression that I require consent."

That gave me pause. What demon doesn't require consent? From all my studies, every demon that took your form had to be given consent to do so. This all sounded familiar, but lost in the haze of pain that was constantly pounding in my mind. I had to stall this thing, had to make it take its time. "Keep talking then." Cassandra's face grimaced before she brushed past me.

"I am not your toy!" No, Maker. Please. It was Cullen's voice as it spoke from behind me now. I turned to find him, his face twisted in a snarl as he spoke, his eyes full of hatred. It's not real. "I am Envy and I will know you!" Envy. He stalked towards me, a dagger in hand, his eyes burning into mine. "Tell me, Meira, in your mind..." The Fade shifted. I was facing Cullen and in front of him stood a silhouette of me; like a shadow upon the ground. His eyes met mine. “Tell me what you think,” he growled, before brutally stabbing my silhouette in the back, twisting the blade in. My silhouette cried out before collapsing.

“Tell me what you feel,” he growled again as the Fade changed. I was splayed on a table. I looked around, my heart hammering as I found the creature wearing Cullen’s face. He held a dagger suspended in the air before he plunged it downward. Just as it was about to make contact with my stomach, I was instead observing as Cullen gutted my silhouette to my agonized screams.

The Fade twisted once more. Now I was holding the knife as I plunged it into Cullen’s chest. It wasn’t the creature, but my Cullen. At least, Envy’s attempt at my Cullen. His face crumpled in pain and confusion as his amber eyes looked into mine. “Why?” he asked.

The first of the Maker's children watched across the Veil and grew jealous of the life they could not feel, could not touch. In blackest envy were the demons born. “You’re not real,” I murmured as I put a hand on his cheek.

His face twisted into anger and he grabbed me by the throat. I cried out in pain. “Stop fighting me! I will know you!” he screeched.

He threw me backwards and I felt the Fade shifting as I killed Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric in turn. The Fade twisted and they each killed my silhouette in different ways. Cries. Blood. Screams. Cackles. Envy, the first. Enough! Enough! Enough!

The demon cackled again. “Tell me what you see,” it whispered in my voice.

The room changed. "Elgara vallas, da'len, m elava somniar. Mala taren aravas, a ra ma'desen melar. Iras ma ghilas, da'len, a ra ma'nedan ashir? Dirthara lothlenan'as b al emma mala dir. Tel'enfenim, da'len, irassal ma ghilas. Ma garas mir renan - a ra ma'athlan vhenas. Ara ma'athlan vhena." It was mother’s voice as she sang our lullaby. I blinked. We were in our tent when Ellana and I had been children. Mother sat with us in her arms, singing and stroking our hair. Ellana and I dozed, contented smiles on our faces. 

Such a sweet memory, but what followed?

“You’re a monster!” Deshanna’s voice screeched. She clutched a wound on her arm. Pulling her hand away revealed a blood soaked palm. “You made me do this! You got into my head!” Her eyes were livid as she manipulated the blood from her wound and lunged for me. My child-self locked in a silent scream as her hands gripped my head and neck.

A monster. Is that what you are? Your gifts that let you walk the Fade…they frighten you. Do you fear you will end up…like me? The demon cackled. Oh no, you would be some much more!  

I clutched my head and collapsed to my knees. “This isn’t real!” I yelled.

“Oh, but it is!” Deshanna’s voice spoke. “You walked the Fade; walked my mind and whispered things to me. To others.” She came close to me, whispering in my ear. “You tried to kill Ellana.”

“No! I would never!” I shook my head.

“You did!” Ma’s voice screamed. “We all loved her, cherished her, but you…you wanted to be her!”

“No!” Meira, don’t listen! “I would never hurt her!”

“Would never hurt her!” the demon shouted back.

“Oh, but you would,” it was Cullen’s voice again. Now we were in Kinloch Hold. Cullen was his younger self, a dark brow quirked as he looked me over. “You envied her so, you nearly pitched yourself off the balcony. Pathetic!” He laughed. He came close to me, his eyes searching my face. “Did you want to throw yourself off because deep down you wished you could be her? That she’d never been born? Or that you'd never been born?”

“No!” I shouted.

Meira, it needs you to respond. Don’t.

“Liar,” he smiled as he slipped back into the shadows.

“Shut up!” I shouted.

“Shut up!” The demon echoed. Defiance. Good. You will make this interesting, then. 

“Who could blame you for envying her?” No. No. No! Please, Maker. Andraste. No! Please help me! “What did you get in return for the sacrifices you made?” Otto Alrik sauntered out of the shadows, his cruel eyes devouring me. "And where was your precious templar?" Alrik sneered. "He'd pushed you away, but the Champion of Kirkwall...he'd let her in; clung to her. How it makes you burn with envy!"

“You’re not real! You’re not real!” I screamed. Pain searing me, the memories clawing at me, my mind began to fracture. 

The demon cackled. You are strong-willed. You had to be to endure this. 

No! No! No! The demon began to manipulate the Fade to make me see what happened in that cell again. That’s it. See it. See me. Let me out.  “No!” I bellowed, slamming my fists into the ground. 

Good, Meira! Keep going! It’s not real. None of this is real. You can be in control. 

“Then help me!” I shouted at the voice.

Who are you—ah! What are you doing? The demon screeched. As I had slammed my fists into the ground, the Fade had shifted. No longer anything, but that first room. Empty of everything, but the arches and torches. The light was comforting instead of eerie. The grass green instead of dead.

Enough, the demon hissed as it shifted the Fade.

Now we were in Haven. Before me stood Ellana, looking beautiful. Her twisted hair falling around her as she wore a white dress. Ears decorated with gold, her face glowing with the tree of Mythal.

“And now? You envy me still,” she smiled. “How could you not?” She began to circle me. “Untouched by the difficulties of life. Cherished and adored. Prized and worshiped. The Herald of Andraste!” She stood behind me. “But she doesn’t even believe in Andraste. Doesn’t even believe in the Maker. Both of whom you so cherish. So ardently believe in. Will you grieve when the Elder One topples them?” Shut up! Shut up! “You cling to this faith. This false hope because you know if you don’t lie to yourself, you’d give in to that darkness that lurks inside you.” She cackled. “And yet, she spits in the face of the only thing that keeps you from breaking completely! How it makes you red inside!”

“That’s not true!” I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face. "I love her."

“I love her!” Love. The sacrificial kind. Disgusting. 

You must fight it!

“I can’t,” I sobbed. “What if…what if it’s right?”

It’s not, Meira. It’s not.

Honest. Tricky.

Fight it, Meira! 

“I don’t know how!” I wept, pain and doubt gripping my fraying mind.

“Who are you talking to?” The demon hissed. “Be silent!”

You do! Don’t be afraid of it. Of yourself. I will help you! See what you want and reshape the Fade! Skin slick with sweat, panting for breath with my heart pounding in my chest and mind swirling with chaotic thoughts I reached for the only thing I knew would help me focus: Remember the fire. You must pass through it alone to be forged anew. Look! Look upon the Light so you may lead others here through the darkness, Blade of the Faith! Through the pain and the tears, I glared at the demon. "The first of the Maker's children watched across the Veil and grew jealous of the life they could not feel, could not touch. In blackest envy were the demons born."

The demon hissed, Ellana's face contorting into a bestial snarl. "Be silent!"

Stand, Meira. It can't control you.

Forcing myself to bear the pain, I stood on one foot and then the other. I straightened myself until I stood tall before the demon. "Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood, the Maker's will is written."

"I said be silent!" the demon screeched, but it took a step back.

Keep going, Meira. Push it back.

"Now, with their Father's eyes elsewhere, the firstborn at last created something new: Envy. They looked upon the living world and the favored sons and daughters there, covetous of all they were. Within their hearts grew an intolerable hunger. Until, at last, some of the firstborn said: 'Our Father has abandoned us for these lesser things. We have power over heaven. Let us rule over earth as well and become greater gods than our Father'." I chuckled without humor. "But you can't, can you?"

The demon snarled. "But you can't, can you?" Mocking. Are you cruel? It grabbed me by the throat again, searing pain along my skin as it did. It threw me through a door. If you won't be broken by your own envy, let me show you what I will do with your face.

Within the main hall of Therinfal Redoubt, I watched as the others fought the corrupted templars and fell one by one.

By the time we're finished, all will be red.  

The demon shifted the scene to make me watch as Cullen, Cassandra, Vivienne, Varric and Barris were dragged away to be forcibly fed philters of red lyrium. They fought with everything they had, but to no avail. Vivienne and Varric became horrors, tearing apart anything they came in contact with; Barris and Cassandra became hulking masses of muscle and lyrium.

But Cullen...Oh, Cullen. He fought like a wild animal; thrashing, kicking and screaming until they'd pinned all of his limbs to the ground. He cried out, the cry tearing at my very soul, as the red liquid was poured into his wrenched open mouth. Once done, they released him. He turned onto his side, curling into a ball as he sobbed. Eventually, he uncurled himself and slowly stood. His honey eyes were now crimson and pulsing as they met mine. I watched as the scar on his lip fractured up to his hair, splitting apart as red lyrium grew out of it. The other side of his face remained his as it twisted into a bitter smile. His single eye continued to look at me for a moment before he raised his sword to slaughter the others. He cut his way through as many as he could, until he fell to his knees. He threw his head back as he screamed in agony. I watched in horror as his body broke apart, growing and growing until he was a behemoth of a creature. A creature made entirely of red lyrium, my Cullen gone.

Tears of rage wet my cheeks as I watched it unfold. This isn't real. I will never let that happen. Anger was burning in my gut again, growing, clearing my head. 

Think, Meira. See what you want to see. 

I imagined a door to my right and looked to find one. I walked to it, swinging it open. 

Turning away. Bravery or desperation?

The next room held groups of people, but beyond, the way was blocked by strange looking fire.

"Our enemies have surrendered unconditionally," an Inquisition scout spoke to my silhouetted form.

"The Inquisition's strength rivals that of any kingdom in Thedas," a soldier said.

"Our reach begins to match my ambition, but we will strive for more," the demon spoke as it tried to imitate me. I will use your sister's trust in you to let me deliver her to the Elder One. It should be of comfort for you to know that your deaths will be the catalyst for the Inquisition to meet its fullest potential. Of course, no one will ever forget what I do to them when I am you and then the Herald. The demon cackled.

I smirked. Not if I have anything to say about it. "Is imitating what you can’t have your only pleasure, demon?" 

Accusing… trying to find my weakness. Is that the female you are? I ignored the sharp pain in my mind and pressed on. Stop that! 

Green flames burst into existence around me, the heat intense where I stood too close. I took a deep breath and walked through them. They cannot burn me. 

Stop it! 

As I made my way though the flames, my heart pounding as I began to feel the heat, I heard the other people in the room speak. 

"How quickly the Inquisition’s influence has spread! Kings and queens seek out its counsel."

"Who would stand against us when the Inquisition commands nations?" "No one wise."

"The Herald saved all of us. Our army could tear down a kingdom!" "No force matches ours for strength."

"When the Chantry fell, we despaired. But the Herald of Andraste brought us light! The people stand in awe of the Inquisition!"

Do you see how glorious my Inquisition will be after your sister dies at the hands of the Elder One?

"You’re hurting, helpless, hasty. What happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?" A new, gentle voice questioned.

What are you? Get out! This is my place!

I had come to more fire. I tried to will myself to walk through, but cried out as it burned me. The demon cackled. There was another door to my right. I went through to find a bedroom. Except the furniture was on the ceiling and walls. Everything odd. This truly isn't real. I looked around, but the room was empty. I turned to leave.

"Wait," that gentle voice called out. I turned, but found nothing. "Envy is hurting you." The voice came from behind me, but when I looked, no one was there. Yet I had a sense that I knew the owner of this voice, had seen whom it belonged to before. "Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel, but not fake. I want to help. You, not Envy."

I was getting irritated. I'd had enough voices speaking to me, I did not need another. Yet, I could sense no malice from this voice, only a desire to help. Spirit? "Who are you?"

"I've been watching. I'm Cole. We're inside you. Or I am. You're always inside you." The voice spoke. The more it spoke, the more it eased the pain pouring in my head and lancing through my limbs. "It's easy to hear, harder to be a part of what you’re hearing. But I’m here, hearing, helping. I hope. Envy hurt you, is hurting you. I tried to help. Then I was here, in the hearing. It’s—it’s usually not like this."

I turned to find a young boy standing on the ceiling. His clothes were raggedy and he wore an overlarge, floppy hat atop his white-blond head. His hair fell into his eyes, and I couldn't tell if they were blue or grey. He was pale, thin and phantasmal. Yet, I still felt only a willingness to help emanating from him. Not the ever present pain I'd been suffering since the demon had dragged me within its prison.

"If you can help, I'm listening." As I said the words, a growl and a bone-chilling shriek sounded outside the room. 

"I was watching. I watch. Every templar knew when you arrived. They were impressed, but not like the Lord Seeker," Cole explained as he sat upon the head of the bed. 

I turned back to Cole, meeting his eyes as he clasped his hands in front of him. "The 'Lord Seeker' is an envy demon. It wants to be me."

"Yes," Cole stated. "It twisted the commanders, forced their fury, their fight. They’re red inside. Anyway, you’re frozen, Envy is trying to take your face, I heard it—and you—and reached out, and then in, and then I was here."

"So you are a spirit?" I asked.

"If it bothers you, I can make you forget. That helps." Cole shrugged before he thought a moment. He shook his head, his large hat flopping as he did. "No, you need all of you to fight. Maybe later."

"How is my body frozen back in the waking world?" I asked.

"Thoughts are fast. We’re here. Outside, a blade is still falling, hanging in the air like a sunset," Cole explained.

"I need to get out. The longer I stay in here, the more frayed I am becoming."

"That's right. Wriggling, writhing, waiting; whispers along your skin, within your mind. Is it me or is it not? Oh, Maker! Oh, Maker!" Cole spoke. I was confused for a moment as his speech became odd, his tone different. "It would be good if you got out."

"All right 'Cole'," I nodded. "If you really want to help, how do I get out?"

"It’s your head. I hoped you’d know how to stop it," Cole replied.

"Well, I don’t," I frowned.

"All of this is Envy: people, places, power," Cole appeared before a fireplace, staring into the fire within the hearth. "If you keep going, Envy stretches. It takes strength to make more. Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more, and Envy breaks down, you break out."

"So, if we keep moving in my 'head', we tire Envy into submission?" I asked.

"Maybe," Cole met my eyes. "I hope it helps. It’s more than sitting here waiting to lose your face."

"I think I can help as well," Purpose spoke as he appeared beside the boy. Purpose threw an arm around Cole's shoulders and smiled broadly. "Hello, Compassion." He still wore Cullen's face, but it was free of the years of pain and stress—still young and boyish. Free of the scar on his lip and his hair was curled. He didn't wear Cullen's armor or the armor of a templar, but casual clothes of fine make. He had a sword strapped to his back as well.

"Hello, Purpose," Cole stated.

Purpose's pure gold eyes landed on me and softened. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be of more help to you before. Envy is strong. It kept me from coming to you." Purpose patted Cole's hat. "Thanks to Compassion here, though, the demon is losing its grip. Same as you, beautiful."

I stammered a moment. "What do you mean?"

"You've been so strong. Fighting back and pushing the demon. It's losing its iron grip on this part of the Fade because its too distracted by trying to take your form," Purpose explained. "While Compassion was helping you stay whole, I was only able to whisper words of motivation to try and slow the demon's breaking of your mind. You listened—you didn't have to, you could have given up; you almost did, but you fought through."

"Why would you help me?" I questioned the spirits. Their eyes met mine.

Purpose chuckled. "Compassion doesn't have much of a choice." He flicked the rim of Cole's hat. "And did I not tell you that I would help you?" Purpose looked at me, the gold burning. "I have stuck by you through much, Meira. You've come so close; I will help you reach the end."

"End?" I asked.

"Your purpose—I want to help you realize it," he shrugged his broad shoulders.

"Why? What is it?" I searched his face. So like Cullen's and yet so different.

He looked away from me. "That's for you to discover."

"And that's not an answer, spirit," I growled. 

"It's the best I can do," he smirked. "It's not yours if I tell you. You must strive for it. What did you say? 'Remember the fire. You must pass through it alone to be forged anew'?" Purpose studied my face. "We can help you, but you must face this trial on your own. We cannot do it for you."

I nodded. "Then help me however you can, please."

"This way," Cole waved for me to follow. We exited the room and stood before the strange flames. "Thoughts are loud here—you already know, but you can't always walk through fire. That takes a lot of strength. Make it simpler. Think of water."

  The flames were pouring out of the mouths of mabari statues, like the ones in Haven. I took a deep breath and imagined the flames becoming fountains of water. The Fade shifted in response. The heat and anger of the flames became the coolness and serenity of water; powerful still, but the power of peace over chaos. 

Those things cannot help you. I will see more.

Ignoring the demon, I headed for the door. The pain of the demon's voice was far less agonizing as Cole and Purpose stood next to me.

"Wait, Meira," Purpose said. "I sense something. Come this way. Compassion, go on ahead."

Cole nodded his head and disappeared. Purpose led me to a door I had not seen, it was blocked by a magical barrier. "How do you spirits function here?" I asked aloud as I worked magic to break the barrier. "This place is enough to drive anyone mad."

Purpose laughed. "For you mortals, maybe. To spirits and demons, this is all normal. Ever shifting, ever changing; change is as natural to us as it is unnatural to you. That's what we do; we change, we adapt. While you desperately cling to immutability, which is a fallacy. Change is inevitable, especially for mortals. You age, you die, you face challenges that break and shape you. Why you cling so hard to what was, instead of embracing what is and what could be…I could go mad thinking about it."

We walked into the sealed room to find a grotesque statue. Half human and half creature. I had a feeling I was looking at Envy and the Lord Seeker. "What am I looking at, Purpose?" I asked.

"I believe your looking at the reason why Envy was brought forth," Purpose stated as he bent towards the statue. "Place your hand upon it, Meira, and ask it to reveal its knowledge to you."

"Just ask it?" I questioned.

Purpose smirked. "You're a Dreamer, Meira. When will you realize that means you can make the Fade and everything within it do what you want? You want the Fade to change? imagine it different. You want statues to speak? tell them to. You want spirits to help you? ask them. It is not malicious in nature; you are simply more like us than you realize. The Fade bends around you because like calls to like."

"More like you? Like spirits?" I asked, studying the stone.

"Yes," Purpose nodded. "What do you believe defines a person? Their body or their soul—their spirit? Their nature?"

"But spirits can change their nature, people cannot so easily do that," I argued.

"Is that so?" Purpose quirked a dark brow, his gold eyes filled with humor. "It may not be easy because mortals are of the immutable world, but it can be done. If it couldn't, how would mortals ever love? Ever trust? Ever grow? In fact, what mortals experience is true change. What spirits and demons experience is simply a shift in reality."

"What do you mean?" I searched his face.

"I can be Purpose or Desire. I cannot be anything else," he shrugged. "Perhaps my nature as Purpose is more complex than the word implies, but I cannot be any other spirit. I cannot become Wisdom or Compassion or Valor. I can only stay Purpose and grow within that parameter; or I can become Desire and only bring harm to mortals by twisting what they most want, most long for, into their worst nightmares." His face fell. "But you, you beautiful mortals, you can become anything. Broken can become whole. Cruelty can become compassion. Envy can become contentment. Betrayal can become forgiveness. It may be hard, may be impossible for some, but you can change. We simply remain the same. It is that fact that leads to so many spirits becoming corrupted. We long for change—real change—but cannot have it. It is what tempted me to become Desire and let Alrik use me." His gold eyes met mine and I saw him flickering around the edges. "Forgive me, Meira."

He was fighting his other nature as he spoke these words. I placed a hand on his arm. "You are Purpose, not Desire. Let us leave what happened in the past, in the past." I offered a small smile. "I blame Alrik, not you."

Shame crossed his features. "I do not deserve such...mercy."

"You're here to help me. You have been helping. Do not give into your darker nature for shame of the past," I murmured. "Stay with me and help me. That seems to be your purpose now."

His eyes met mine in surprise. "You are quick." He smiled broadly. "Now, let's free you of Envy." He took my hand and placed it upon the statue. 

I closed my eyes. Speak to me. A rotting, haunted voice answered. "A whisper, followed out of dream. A beckoning thread of power. At the end of it a figure, crowned in imperial red, seen through a tear in the air. The Elder One, demanding servitude with an offer impossible to resist. Leader of the Seekers. Commander of knights. Lord Seeker Lucius Corin, master of templars." 

That will not help you!

I turned to Purpose, nearly able to block out Envy's voice now. "What does this mean?"

"It's what the Elder One used to lure Envy out of the Fade with, I would guess," Purpose studied the statue. "Envy was looking for a purpose. For someone's face to steal; for someone to become. This Elder One dangled the Lord Seeker before its eyes and it saw a tempting prize: leader, commander, master. What greater titles for a demon that wants what another has? In exchange, Envy belongs to the Elder One."

Quiet you! 

"Did I upset you?" Purpose taunted. His gold eyes found me. "Let's go, Meira. We've rattled the beast."

 I followed Purpose out of the sealed room, past the fountains and through another door. It exploded as I went to open it, knocking me backwards. Envy cackled.  Everything in my vision went white. I blinked until the blazing white dimmed after a few moments. Purpose was gone again. Before me stood Ellana, Cullen, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine. They surrounded the war table, but upon it was my body impaled by Cullen's sword. I was gurgling, choking on my own blood as my scared eyes looked up at them all.

"Meira?" Ellana cried, but Cullen kept her away from me. "If you hadn't stopped her, I'm not sure what would have happened."

"Sh-she was...she was an abomination," Cullen stammered, his eyes lost as he looked me over. "I...I had to do it. She would have killed you otherwise."

"When did she become possessed?" Leliana asked. "At Therinfal?"

"No," Cullen shook his head. "She was...she was herself. We'd been separated, but when we found each other again she was herself."

Oh, this will be such a sweet end for you. The man you love forced to kill you when you go raving mad with envy towards the Herald. You claw at her, trying to kill her. He thinks you're an abomination; that fear that's been gnawing at the back of his mind every time he looks at you given flesh. What does he feel as he impales you to that table? Relief? The demon cackled. They won't notice that I slipped from you to the Herald as easy as putting on a new shirt. Believing the threat is ending as the blood drains from your body in front of them. You silently cry for them to hear you as you warn them, but they do not listen. Then, I will wield the Inquisition like a sword. Betrayed allies will curse the Herald's name. Like the first Inquisition, she will bring blood and ruin and fear!

"Unless you don’t let it in," Cole stated. "You don’t have to. None of this is real unless you let it be."

Get out, thing! I am learning!

"This will never come to pass," Purpose growled. "Keep moving, Meira. Stretch it!"

I pushed past the scene, ignoring the tears in my eyes. "I would do everything in my power to not let you succumb to that fate, but I trust you would do everything in your power to never let that fate come to pass." I would, Cullen. I will. Though stung with a hundred arrows, though suffering from ailments both great and small, his heart was strong, and he moved on. The deep dark before dawn's first light seems eternal, but know that the sun always rises. Though the lands suffer a thousand wrongs, the Maker yet notices the smallest of deeds. 

I went through another door that I willed to appear to the demon's hiss. It opened to a stone hall that mimicked the one beneath the Chantry in Haven. I moved on to archways opening to prison cells. Entering one, I found an Orlesian man pacing behind the cell bars as a soldier watched.

"Do you confess to conspiring against the Herald of Andraste?" the soldier demanded.

"I confess nothing!" the Orlesian argued. "The Inquisition took my land and turned out my family!"

"Then your sons will be executed in the absence of a declaration of guilt," the soldier growled.

"What? They’re just children!" the man sobbed.

Does the death of children, of innocents, cause you to despair? How does it claw at your mind to think I will use you to slaughter them by the thousands?

I left the cell and went to another. Within the cell was Mother Giselle. Instead of a soldier, the silhouette of me stood before her. The silhouette was becoming more defined, but it still looked grotesque and as it spoke, its voice was more demonic than a true imitation of mine. "What do you have to say to your crimes, heretic?"

"This is a farce!" Giselle fearlessly cried. "I demand justice!"

"Have it," the demon waved a hand. "Take her to the gallows!"

Will you weep to know that the Chantry you cling to will be razed to the ground as the people bow to the Herald in faith? The Maker and Andraste cast aside as false gods in the face of the Elder One? 

"No one will believe you are me, demon," I hissed.

The demon cackled in response. Do your friends know you so well? Not as well as I'll know you.

I left that cell behind to find Purpose leaning against the wall. "Good, Meira. Don't let it rattle you. Nothing is real here. It is trying to break you; to touch more of you. You're angry and growing angrier. It will keep you focused."

 I followed the hall, finding an eerie mist shrouding the back wall. To the left and right were two more cells. I spotted Cole observing the prisoner in one, his lips pulled into a frown. I made my way to him, ignoring the figures of Rylen and a sobbing Orlesian. Rylen had a cruel smile on his face as he observed the terrified man begging for his life. That is not Rylen. Cole met my eyes as I entered the room, his own unreadable. He glanced to the prisoner. I looked and my heart broke to find Cullen—my Cullen—pacing the bars like a great cat. He was livid, his eyes blazing as he stared at something that wasn't there. 

"I have questions, Commander," the demon spoke, materializing before the cell in my silhouette, grasping the bars as it leaned against them.

"Is it my turn to be branded a traitor for questioning what we've become?" Cullen growled, getting in the demon's face. "Have you finally tired of your plaything?" He spit. "I deserve it. I let my love for her blind me to you; I let you turn the Inquisition into a butcher's pit because I would not lose my last connection to her."

So broken will he be by driving that blade into your heart, he'll willingly come to my arms. Doing anything and everything I ask because I have your face. And will I use him. In every way possible. Because you had him, so will I. 

Rage lit my insides. "I will kill you, demon," I shouted at the air.

"Kill you," the demon mimicked. Protective or possessive?

"It's dark, but it isn't real. Think of sparks. Keep going up. You’re more you there than you are Envy, and that tires it out," Cole instructed.

"That's a little cryptic, Compassion," Purpose chuckled. "He means you need to find light in the darkness, Meira." Purpose's gold eyes found mine. "What does that look like?"

Silence!

Light in the darkness? Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker's Light and nothing that He has wrought shall be lost. I closed my eyes and pictured light. Comforting, warm, guiding. I imagined the candles lit in the Chantry; the candles of the library of the Circle; the fire of the clan as we all sat around to listen to the hahren's tales; the light in Cullen's eyes as he looked at me with adoration. Opening my eyes, Cole was gone and in his place was a brazier. I stepped towards it and looked to Cullen, who still paced behind the cell bars. Lighting the brazier, I imagined a better end for this darkness.

"I would very much like to...kiss you. May I?" Cullen murmured as he looked lovingly at me. "Y-Your...beauty infatuated me, but as I came to know you, to know your character, how you saw the world, your faith...I-I." His eyes continued to study me as if it were the real Cullen. "What the Maker has created, no one can tear asunder," he promised. The bars of the cell disappeared and I wrapped my arms around him. "How are you, my darling?"

I smiled into his shoulder. "I love you," I whispered and he disappeared. The demon hissed in response.

I worked my way back through the cells, lighting braziers that had now appeared there. Mother Giselle began to speak the Chant, it fading away slowly as she too disappeared. The Orlesian was reunited with his sons, embracing them as he sobbed with relief; his children's echoing laughter warming my heart as they were freed. 

Purpose smiled widely at me. "Keep going!"

I went to the cell that I had not entered before. Josephine was within. "Four days without food, one without water… I wish the Herald would tell me what she wants me to confess."

I lit her brazier. Josephine laughed delightedly as Cullen and Leliana joined in, they stood around the war table and Ellana stood opposite them. They were all happy, enjoying each other's friendship before they disappeared. A door came into existence at their departure. I could feel Envy's anger growing with each obstacle I tore down, each wrong I righted.

"Excellent, Meira," Purpose encouraged. "That is as simple as it is. You think what you want to see and it becomes. You have that power. Nothing in the Fade can stop you—especially if you continue to grow your powers and remain unafraid." He waved for me to follow. "There's another piece of Envy's puzzle, come on."

Purpose led me to a brazier that had appeared next to Rylen and the weeping Orlesian. I lit it. Rylen now comforted the man, assuring that he was safe and the Inquisition would protect him and his family. The mist disappeared, a wall pushing back, but the progress was slow. I reached out a hand to the stone and it dissolved into dust. Envy let out a frustrated snarl.

We came to another grotesque statue, this one more human than demon. I placed my hand upon it and that dead voice spoke again. "Weeks of studying, learning, imitating. The Lord Seeker reveals who he is, what he is, with every sharp-tongued reaction. Lucius Corin abandoned, hidden after taking his face, his armor, his templars. Easy as slipping into new skin. The Herald of Andraste protests as the templars leave the city. Small. Unimportant. Beneath a Lord Seeker's notice, but for instructions from the Elder One."

"Seems Envy didn't see the opportunity your sister presented when it first encountered her," Purpose stated.

"And it sounds like the Lord Seeker resisted the demon, but it doesn't matter," I mused. "Envy takes your face whether you want it to or not. It only needs to study you long enough to become you. And it's not possession, it exists as you while you may still live or be dead elsewhere."

That's right. Does that make you afraid? It should. The longer you're trapped here, the more I know of you.

"You'll just have to kill it," Purpose replied.

"Gladly," I growled.

"Gladly," the demon repeated. Aggressive. Yet kind. You are complex.

"It's time to move, Meira," Purpose nodded his head back the way we came.

I headed towards Josephine's cell and went through the door there. A flight of stairs met me and I climbed it quickly. 

You wish to be difficult? Then see the legacy of the Inquisition! It’s followers hosts to demons! Your world—ashes!

"It can’t make you, not anymore," Cole spoke gently as he appeared in front of me. "You are getting too strong." 

Shut! Up! Thing! 

"Almost there," Cole encouraged. "Keep going up."

"What then?" I asked him as I climbed the stairs.

"You’re making it hard for Envy to think," Cole explained. "It’ll probably come out soon. It’s angry. But that’s okay. So are you."

The door opened to a forest. Branches snapped and quivered with the movement of creatures within the trees. Smoke rolled beneath the trunks, causing my eyes to water, as it carried the lingering smell of burning corpses. Voices, screams, cries, shouts and roars echoed all around. Sounds of battle and people running drew nearer.

"They say the Herald summoned these demons after Celene was murdered," an Orlesian voice spoke within the trees.

"An abomination! Why did no one realize?" Another voice questioned.

"Quiet! I hear something," the first hushed. 

Roars echoed and their answering screams were cut off. Demons? Celene murdered? Was this the plot of this Elder One?

"You’re letting her see more to sketch her shapes, but what she sees makes her stronger," Cole bit at the demon.

Quiet!

I kept moving through the forest, hearing as unseen people died around me at the hands of demons. I will not let this come to pass. I pushed myself harder, faster, the pain from the demon that had been paralyzing now nothing more than an annoyance. Stairs appeared ahead while beneath me the ground began to shift. I felt the malice of Envy, it was trying to attack me. But it was slow and I simply had to keep moving to get out of range.

I made my way up a few flights of stairs, and found Purpose leaning against the rail of the next. "One more piece, Meira," he stated. "Follow me." He made a path through the forest to a final statue.

This one had the face of a man, whom I could only assume was the Lord Seeker. I put my hand on the stone and when the voice spoke this time it was the voice of the Lord Seeker. "Growing disbelief. The Herald, leading nobles, shining men and women whose power chokes a country. The Inquisition, rising larger than the templars. Unbearable envy. What is a Lord Seeker compared to what the Herald will become? Seething, consumed with want. Dreaming, wanting, needing to wear the Herald of Andraste's face when next meeting the Elder One."

"You taunted it with the nobles and it had to have you," Purpose explained. "Envy's weakness is—to no one's surprise—envy. When you showed what the Herald could be, it had no use for the Lord Seeker and revealed itself. It made it's move too soon and it will be it's downfall. I wonder if its master will be pleased?"

Shut up, Purpose!

"No, shan't," Purpose mocked the demon. "You are pathetic and no match for Meira. I will happily watch her dispatch you." Envy hissed. Purpose turned to me, a hand on my shoulder. "It cannot touch you now. Find it, fight it, and escape."

I nodded. "Thank you, Purpose."

"Don't be a stranger, Meira," he smiled. "I look forward to seeing you in the Fade again. Maybe not in the clutches of a demon or a crazed Keeper though, hmm?"

I laughed, hardly believing I could. "I couldn't agree more."

"Happy, hoping, healing. Did we help?" Cole asked as he appeared beside Purpose.

"You did, Compassion," Purpose patted the boy's shoulder. "But your job's not done yet."

"I know." Cole stated. "Envy is close. Keep going. Don't be afraid."

"I'm not," I smiled at them. "Thanks to you."

 They disappeared and I was now standing in front of a flight of stairs. These stairs were a copy of the ones that led up to the main hall of Therinfal Redoubt. I hurried up them and opened the large doors. Within, the fight between the templars and the red templars was frozen. Swords hanging in the air, the dying not quite upon the ground, defiant yells held on silent mouths. I searched the room, but did not see the others. No doubt a feeble attempt to frighten me by the demon. I made my way to the door it had dragged me out of, through another courtyard where corrupted templars were gathering, to another door that stood open. The room was empty, but I knew the demon was close. I felt a hand on my shoulder as I was spun around; that old pain returning as the demon made contact. It was stuck in the silhouette of me, incomplete. A shade. It's eyes were nothing but green fire as they looked at me. The demon grabbed my throat and slammed me into a wall, lifting me up. The haze returned, threatening my ability to think.

“Unfair, unfair! That thing kept you whole, kept you from giving me your shape!” The demon whined.

"What could you gain from being me?" I asked, trying to distract it as I summoned an ice dagger in my palm.

"What could you gain?" Envy tried to mimic, but it's voice was more it than me. "What… ugh!" It growled in frustration. Bringing a hand to my temple, I cried out in pain as strange magic burned across my skin. We’ll start again. More pain this time. The Elder One still comes.

"It’s frightened of you," Cole murmured.

Envy dropped its hand as it looked around for Cole. My pain eased just enough that I finished the dagger.

Get out of— 

I kicked Envy away before charging it, plunging the dagger into it's gut. The demon shrieked as everything blazed white.

…

I awoke upon the floor. That smell of death and blood filling my nostrils as the sounds of battle roared in my ears. I sensed that I was not alone. Wrenching myself up, I found a horrifying sight before me. A demon—Envy—clutching its gut wound as it unfurled itself before me. It was nauseating to look at: it's face was comprised of mutilated scars and a gaping mouth; it had multiple arms and its legs were more akin to arms and hands than legs. It was humanoid in appearance, but bestial in its movements. It stood; its face turned in my direction, but it had no eyes.

I jumped to my feet and palmed my staff. "I swore I would kill you,” I promised.

The demon opened its mouth and let out a high-pitched shriek that made my ears ring. For its large size, it was astonishingly fast as it skittered out of the room. A cloud of smoke was left in its wake as it flew back to the main hall. I turned back to the room, finding it no longer empty, but a mess of broken furniture, boarded windows, papers, blood and writing all over the walls and stone floor. In the middle, sat a table littered with papers and a bust of...Empress Celene. The bust had a dagger stabbed through its face, a piece of parchment attached to the blade. 

Cole appeared from behind the bust. "The Elder One wants her dead. Empress Celene. He hates her, haunts her, wants her dead, but hides why. He hid other things, too."

"We will need to find out why," I murmured. "But that is something to be addressed after we escape this place. Cole, where are the others?"

"Fighting, fearful, fearsome. Where is she? Where is she?" Cole spoke, his voice changing again like it had before. He looked at me and blinked. "Why do you look like that? That is not your face."

"Did I...look different in the Fade?" I asked the boy.

"Yes," Cole sounded worried. "Did...did Envy win? That’s the face it saw—that it wanted to steal."

"No, Cole," I shook my head. "I...I can't explain right now."

"Wait," Cole said, "I see. You are you, but also her. You must be both to keep her safe."

"Yes, Cole."

"You're helping?" Cole questioned.

"I am trying to," I smiled. 

"We need to help the others," Cole stated, his voice worried. "They fear for you and that fear is distracting them. Red—red everywhere, inside. Rage and pain and the endless song. I must make the others hear the song!"

"What are you doing when you speak like that, Cole?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"I hear others, not just you," Cole offered.

"Hear others?" I questioned. "As in, you can hear what they're thinking?"

"Yes."

"That's amazing!" I exclaimed.

"And scary," Cole agreed. "But it helps me help them." A worried look crossed his face. "The lyrium—it's wrong, but I feel that thirst. Luring me in, sweet caresses begging me to drink. No! No! Where are you? Where are you? Please, Maker, let her be safe!" He met my eyes again. "We need to go find them."

My mind went to the images of the others being forced red lyrium. That bitter smile on Cullen's face. "Let's hurry."

 Cole ran out the door and I followed. We worked our way through the courtyard and back to the main hall, the corrupted templars absent within the courtyard. Cole disappeared as we entered the hall. To my shock, the corrupted templars had been defeated, their mutilated bodies littering the ground. The templars that had not fallen to the red lyrium had set up barricades, taken up positions around the hall, and were standing in defensive formations before each of the entry points. As I entered the hall, a few raised their swords.

"Herald?" Barris's voice questioned, his green eyes boring into mine. The swords lowered. "Where did you come from? Did you see that...thing before it came in here?"

"It's an envy demon," I answered the man. "It replaced the Lord Seeker. I need to know where the others are so we can kill it."

Barris blanched at my words. His eyes flicking away from me. I followed his gaze to find a huge, magical barrier blocking off the front half of the hall. "Envy? Maker. Then the real Lord Seeker is caged or dead."

"It seems that way," I murmured. "Barris, the others. We need them."

He took a moment to collect himself. "The Seeker, the mage, and the dwarf went to find any remaining senior templars to bring them here. We need the veterans' expertise—even more so if we're to face an envy demon. Cullen went with them, but he was to find you." Barris turned to the door opposite me. "They thought you'd been dragged through that door. Perhaps that was Envy's trick." Barris's face fell. "We were to join them, but waves of the red ones keep coming."

"I'll be back. We can come up with a plan when I have the others," I stated. "Keep fighting."

He gave me a salute. "To the last, Herald."

I ran for the other door and threw myself through it. Racing across the courtyard, I felt Cole appear beside me. "Will I be too late? Maker, please, help me. Andraste, guide me." 

I heard the sounds of fighting coming from an open gate. We ran through and I came to a halt. Cassandra, Varric, and Vivienne were fighting a behemoth alongside a few senior templars. I looked around, but did not see Cullen. Please...please don't tell me—

"Herald?" Cassandra's voice called between swings of her blade. "Thank the Maker!" I charged forward, palming my staff to join their fight. "No, we have this in hand. Find the Commander!"

"Where is he?" I shouted.

"While we were distracted with this, a few of the corrupted templars dragged him off," Cassandra answered. "Find him, Herald!"

Cole appeared beside me once more as I ran to the door Cassandra had pointed towards. "I hear the song, see their eyes, know its foul and yet…lips cracking, stomach burning, saliva flooding my mouth as my heart pounds in anticipation. It'd make the nightmares stop, make the pain go away. I'd forget everything. Forget it all. No! NO! I shall endure! Meira! Meira!" 

I stopped mid-step and nearly tripped. I looked to Cole. "Is that...is that Cullen?"

"He needs your help," Cole stated simply.

 Fear and rage gripped my heart. Taking a Fade Step, I crossed the entirety of the space between the door and us. With a defiant yell, the door burst apart with ice magic and I Fade Stepped down the flight of stairs that opened to a dungeon. I froze where I was, unsure if I had escaped Envy's prison. He was fighting like a cornered animal; his eyes nearly black as his pupils were dilated with panic and fear. He thrashed, kicked, punched because his sword missing. They tackled him to the ground, pinning his arms and legs down.

"You left the Order, but you'll want this song, Knight-Captain," one of the corrupted templars cackled. "Samson sends his regards," he said as he shook a philter of red lyrium above Cullen. "Open his mouth." Two others stalked forward and bent to wrench Cullen's mouth open. I could see the terror in his face, listened as he let out that same cry.

"Cullen!" I yelled and threw one of my blades towards him.

 I had distracted his captors just long enough he could wrench himself free from their grip. He scooped up the blade and skewered the templar that had been about to pour the red lyrium down his throat on its blade. He roared as he sprung into action, his eyes blazing with a ferocity I'd never seen. With a yell, I slammed my staff into the ground, freezing a few of them, before I used the staff to launch myself at the others as I drew my sword. Leaping at one, I plunged the blade into the break at their shoulder. Wrenching the blade free as he cried out in anguish, I twisted towards another and separated his head from his shoulders. Cullen was facing down the rest, his blade before him. I put my back against his. He scooped up a shield and I could feel him heaving breaths against me.

"M-Herald?" he gasped. "Where-what—"

"Later, Commander," I growled as I stared down the approaching templars. "For now, let's kill these monsters."

 Cullen grunted in agreement. We stayed back to back as they surrounded us. Together, we moved as one. Where he was open, I struck; where I was vulnerable, he protected. We moved around each other like a fluid dance, arms and legs as one body as if we'd done it a thousand times. I summoned magic to shield him; he swept and I ducked, his swing shattering ones I had frozen. We danced and danced until they were all cut down around us. We'd pressed into each other. The only sound that of our panting breaths. Eventually, we straightened and turned to each other. His face was flecked with blood and a few cuts, his armor splattered. Amber eyes searched my face as he continued to breathe heavily. His pupils had constricted, but he was pale and shaking.

I gazed into his eyes as I tried to catch my breath. "Are yo—"

He crashed against me in a ferocious kiss. Desperate, afraid, as if in need of assurance that I was real, his lips learned my own. His gloved fingers fisted the hair at the base of my neck, his other hand on my hip as he curved around me. Just as it bordered on too much, he broke away. His eyes were burnished bronze as they drank in my face. "I-I lost sight of you. I...I feared—"

I put a hand on his cheek. "I am all right," I assured. "We need to move. The others are fighting and Barris can't hold the main hall for much longer."

He straightened, his eyes turning fierce as he searched the room. Handing me my blade, he stepped away to look for his own sword and shield. Upon finding them, one of the templars jumped up to try and attack him. Cullen turned so swiftly, his eyes blazing with fury, as he thrust his sword through the templar with all of his strength. The blade went through the templar's front until it protruded through his back. Cullen snarled as he wrenched the blade up, causing the templar's body to jerk in reaction. Cullen then kicked his sword free before shaking the blood off as he stared down at the corrupted templars with disgust. His eyes met mine, not hiding that ruthlessness he could possess.

"We need to go,” he growled.

I nodded and followed behind him as he climbed the stairs, wrenching my staff free from the ice. I could feel the rage emanating from him as we ran back to the others. I worried for him, but knew now was not the time to ask. We found the others taking the behemoth down just as we arrived. Cassandra looked over Cullen with a mixture of relief and concern while I explained that we needed to return to the main hall to regroup. Together with the senior templars the others had found, we rushed back to the main hall to find corrupted templars attacking. We joined the fight and soon enough, the hall was ours once more.

"What happened to you, Herald?" Cassandra asked as soon as we were clear.

"The Lord Seeker was replaced by an envy demon," I explained. "I caught it's fancy."

"Then the Lord Seeker—" Cassandra began.

"Envy?" Cullen questioned. "Maker's breath! It-did it...?"

"I resisted it, Commander," I assured. "I stabbed it in the gut and when I tried to confront it in its true form, it ran." I turned to point at the magical barrier at the front of the hall. "It's hiding beyond there."

"Barris!" Cullen barked as the templar approached. "What in the Void has been going on here?"

"It appears an envy demon has been acting in place of the Lord Seeker," Barris growled. "And my captain knew. It’s the red lyrium, isn’t it? I knew that retched stuff was risky."

"'Risky'?" Cullen spat. "Everyone in the Order should know what it does to you!"

"Or do you all not communicate with each other?" Varric asked. "The Knight-Commander of Kirkwall turned into a statue of red lyrium. After going completely crazy because she'd had it embedded in her sword. And you all have been ingesting the stuff? Are you insane?" Even Varric seemed angry as he looked Barris over.

Barris shifted on his feet. "They often give us new kinds of lyrium. Our commanders… some used the red stuff first, to prove it was harmless. The knights would have been next. That demon turned our leaders so we couldn’t question when this started!"

"Then your leaders all but corrupted the templars for a demon," Cullen growled.

Barris stood straighter. "Then we will fix it." Cullen nodded. Barris turned to his brethren. "Templar! What is Envy?"

A templar stepped forward. "A coward, brother!"

Another answered as well, "It studies, makes less mistakes. But most of all, it hides."

Barris turned back to us. "Envy’s rare. Rank and file aren’t trained for that. That’s why it took us top down. We have our veterans, thanks to you. We'll hold the hall. We need uncorrupted lyrium—it will most likely be in the officer's quarters. Bring it here, and I'll give you Envy." Barris saluted us, determination in his eyes.

"You’re not mages. You need lyrium for this?" I asked.

"Templars deny magic, but envy demons are tough," Barris explained. "Especially when they’ve had time to entrench themselves. The veterans can show us how to push. The lyrium will help, so when we break, we break the enemy." 

I blinked. "'Break'? You mean you could die?"

"A demon holds the honor of the Order," he scowled. "There isn’t a man or woman here who will let that stand."

"Glad to see Curly isn't the only templar left who isn’t crazy," Varric stated.

"I try, dwarf," Cullen grumbled.

Barris nodded and started to turn, his eyes catching on a dead red templar. "Show those things no mercy," he murmured before turning his back on us.

We fought our way through the courtyard to the officer's quarters. It was where Envy had dragged me to. "This is where Envy took me," I voiced after we'd cut down the last of the corrupted templars. I pointed at the open door. "I think...I think that's the Lord Seeker's quarters."

"What was inside?" Cassandra asked.

"Nothing good," I replied. "We can look more after we've dealt with this mess."

She nodded. "We will. We must find out what happened."

"I'd guess the lyrium would be over here," Cullen voiced as he pointed at a nearby door. "It is usually kept close to the Knight-Commander's quarters within the Circles." 

We made our way to the door, but found it locked. I growled in frustration and froze the door before shattering it apart glad to find it wasn't warded. 

"Shattering doors now, Herald?" Varric chuckled.

"Let's just say my trip to the Fade made me impatient," I bit out. "That Envy demon is going to regret ever crossing the Veil."

"That's the spirit," Varric chuckled.

We walked inside to find the bottom floor of the room covered in red lyrium. It had grown out of the chests, spreading like the Blight along the floor and the walls. I could hear that song again: dark and enticing. Nausea rolled in my gut the longer we stood near it.

"This must be the red lyrium the 'Lord Seeker' gave the templars," I mused aloud.

"Just like Haven and the Breach. Where are they getting it from?" Varric asked.

"They're either mad or fools to even be touching this," Vivienne curled her lip in disgust.

"Fools," Cullen growled. "Absolute fools."

I headed up the stairs and spotted chests of lyrium that glowed blue and held no song that I could hear. "Here—the untainted lyrium."

The others climbed the stairs. I glanced at Cullen. He had paled again and there was a sheen of sweat on his brow as he looked at the red lyrium. He met my eyes after a moment and gave me a slight nod before looking away.

He approached a nearby table as the others began collecting the chests of lyrium philters. He shuffled through the parchment there, picking up one that caught his eye. "They were getting shipments of regular lyrium, but only small amounts—not enough for all of them. A large shipment of red lyrium came in from an unknown source and it was left up to the Lord Seeker to ration it." He brought the parchment closer to his face as he read something at the bottom. "The templars...noticed a difference in the red lyrium, but the Knight-Captain encouraged that they use it." He folded the parchment and tucked it into his cuirass.

"We will question them—all of them—when this is over," Cassandra seethed. "The Order is so filled with corruption, there is no saving it."

"Your Lord Seeker fell prey to an envy demon," Cullen argued. "I doubt the Seeker's are free of corruption." They glared at each other a moment.

"You two can argue when we live through this," Varric interjected.

"Agreed," Vivienne sighed. "Have you seen the uncorrupted templars standing against the red? Keep your head, my dears, and this day may yet be salvaged."

"They need to be challenged," I stated, "But there has been enough resistance to prove to me that all hope is not lost for the Order. First, we need to stop Envy and finish off the red templars."

Cassandra and Cullen nodded. We grabbed the remaining untainted lyrium, Vivienne and I using magic to cause the chests to float behind us so none of us had to carry it for longer than necessary. Cullen and Cassandra cut down any red templars that crossed our paths after Vivienne and I froze them solid. Varric kept an eye out for archers until we were back in the main hall. Another battle had taken place in our absence, a few more of the uncorrupted templars had fallen.

"Ser Barris!" I yelled. "The lyrium!"

Barris turned in our direction, the other templars following suit. Barris's green eyes met mine. "There are more of the red ones beyond the barrier, they are sure to come out once we start attacking."

"We will fight," Cullen assured the templar. "You just focus on Envy."

Barris nodded. "We will break this beast," he promised. 

They opened the chests and each templar took a philter. They poured the contents into a sort of chalice; the thing glowing blue with mist curling over the lip. Ceremoniously, one after the other drank the lyrium while the others pounded their swords against their shields in encouragement. They all knew they could die, all knew they were fighting for the honor of their Order; yet, as they downed the lyrium any sense of fear seemed to vanish from them. Instead, their eyes burned with fury and determination—fearless in the face of death. Barris even kissed the chalice as he finished. They approached the dais below the barrier, drawing their swords which now brimmed with light as I felt them beginning to dispel the magic. They bowed before the barrier, leaning against their swords, as Barris began to speak the Chant. Vivienne and I each erected thick walls of ice around them, one last defense from the red templars. We put our backs to the templars and listened as Cullen gave orders.

"Same as before," Cullen ordered. "Ice walls to funnel them, Cassandra and I will stand at the front. Varric and Vivienne volley from the back. Herald, barriers and maintain the ice walls.” As soon as the barrier began to erode, red templars poured through it. “Now!"

With a grunt, I slammed my staff into the ground, the blade sinking between the stones. Ice walls erupted behind and on either side of us. With effort, I willed it to grow spikes, to attack the red templars as much as it defended us. Soon, they poured into the opening, Cullen and Cassandra yelling in challenge. The ring of swords clashing and blades meeting shields echoed within the ice. Bianca sung with each arrow Varric released. Vivienne taunted the templars as she erected ice spikes to kill them. I protected them all with barriers. As we fought, I felt the demon's barrier weakening as the templars poured their all into dispelling it. On and on it went, until finally no more came. We heard the templars cry out and the barrier shatter. I willed the ice walls to disappear, revealing that they had all collapsed from exhaustion.

"Barris?!" I called as I rushed toward them.

I found the templar, collapsed upon the floor with sword still in hand, panting heavily. "Get that demon. End it!" he bit out, his eyes blazing as they met mine.

"Let's go!" I called to the others. "I have a vow to keep."

We made our way up the steps behind the dais and out the back of the fortress. It was crumbling in places though a few stained-glass windows were still whole within a few intact walls. Stone benches sat every few feet until the walls opened to another courtyard and the remnants of a shrine. Red lyrium grew out of the ground and along the crumbling stone pillars. The demon cackled; the sound raking across my mind once more. 

"I touched so much of you, but you are selfish with your glory. Now I'm no one!" The demon cried before it crawled into view, making its way for me.

I clutched my head as the other's cried out for me, but Cole appeared beside me, easing the pain. "Dark and desperate; death to make yourself alive. I used to be like you, but not anymore. You shouldn't be either!"

The demon shrieked at Cole's words and launched into an attack. It disappeared and reappeared all over the courtyard, never staying in one place for long.

"Herald, Vivienne," Cullen yelled. "Freeze it in place! On the count of three!" Envy had disappeared once more, but Cullen seemed unfazed. "One!" We searched the grounds, staves at the ready. "Two!" Heart pounding, the desire to see this thing ended growing. "Three!"

Envy erupted from the ground and we froze it. Immobile for a moment, Varric loaded it with arrows while Cullen, Cassandra and Cole attacked it with their blades. Too soon, it broke free, releasing a cloud of smoke as it did. All of us coughing and blinking, we looked around to find the demon once more.

"Where is it?" I asked. 

"It's trying to hide," Cole warned.

"Silence!" the demon screamed. 

Around us, several copies of Cullen, Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric emerged. "They're not real!" Cole instructed. 

The others paused for a moment, confusion lighting their faces as the projections readied their weapons. Swinging my staff around me to build up mana until I had enough, I released it. Ice flew from my staff in shards, targeting the fakes. With one strike they fell. "You cannot fool me, demon!"

Envy howled in frustration. "'What could you gain from being me'?" Envy questioned in my voice. "Everything." From a cloud of smoke, the demon appeared, but it was the demon no longer. It stood before us, nearly a perfect replica of me as Ellana. It's eyes—my eyes—landed on me and an evil smile spread across its face. "I still know you. All of you!" It looked to the others. "Would you attack your Herald?" It raised a hand in my direction, pointing a finger. "That is the imposter. I just escaped the Fade. You need to kill it!"

"You are not the Herald!" Cullen seethed, raising his sword.

The demon turned its eyes to Cullen. "Ah, yes. The one she would've had, but I will have instead. You are pretty to look at. Tell me, Commander. Does this form please you?" Cullen became rooted in the spot he had been standing in, his face white and eyes wide. Envy smiled broadly. "I know you will please me." 

If I had not been watching him so intently, I would have missed the tiny step backwards Cullen took. I had never known him to run from anything, yet Envy—wearing my face—had him paralyzed.  My face. 'Does this form please you'? Did the desire demon ask a similar question? And Envy had all but promised that it would use Cullen in every way. That it would use my face and then Ellana's to do it. I felt my gut tighten as something dark awoke within me at the thought.

"Don't worry," Cole assured as he met my eyes, appearing behind the demon. "It can't be you if it's dead."

Envy turned to Cole, its face—my face—twisting into a sneer. "Meddler, I will kill you last!"

I would not let this thing touch anyone else; I would not let it destroy anymore than it already had. With a savage cry, I rushed Envy, catching the creature off guard. It turned back to me too late, it's smile faltering as I shoved the blade of my staff into its chest, freezing all but it's head.

"You cannot do this!" It screeched, it's voice grating my bones. "I am Envy!"

"Envy this," I snarled as I drew one of my blades and plunged it into Envy's throat. It flailed in vain against its icy prison, black blood streaming from the wound. It continued to twitch and screech as it's face contorted, shifting from my face to it's own mutilated one. The ice was cracking with each movement it made, it would free itself soon.

"Quick!" Cole shouted. "While Envy has to be itself!"

Roaring at the creature, I wrenched the blade through, causing its head to grotesquely loll to one side. After a few death throes, the creature finally stilled. "Maker take you, you filth," I growled.

To the praise and relief of the others, I freed my blade and staff. Vivienne set the demon ablaze. Glancing up at the Breach that was visible in the distance, I swiped a sleeve across my face. Clearing off some of the hot blood I felt there, I turned back to the others.All but Cullen had begun to walk back to where the remaining templars were approaching. He stood rooted in the same spot, his chest heaving, blade held so tight I could see his gloves straining against his knuckles. His eyes were fixed on the demon's burning corpse as he panted, his body taut in readiness to protect himself. Approaching him slowly, his eyes met mine. They were wide like a cornered animal's. He didn't move, didn't relax as I came closer. Gently, I placed a hand on his sword arm and he allowed me to lower it.

"It's over, Cullen," I murmured. "Envy is dead. It cannot hurt anyone else. We're safe." He continued to look at me, but it was as if he wasn't there, instead trapped in his mind. "Come back to me, Cullen," I whispered.

Blinking, his spell broke. He let out a shaky breath. "I-Forgive me, M—"

"There is nothing to forgive," I gave him a small smile. "It...scared me, too." His face fell in shame. "Please, Cullen," I urged, "I need you. We have to deal with the templars and I can't do it without you."

After a heartbeat, he took a deep breath, sheathed his sword, and buckled his shield to his back. He closed his eyes for a moment and straightened; his gaze hard when his eyes opened. He would not look at me. "Right. Let's go."

"I-I'm glad," he murmured. His eyes flicked to the weapons. "Would you humor me? Try using the staff."

I grasped the weapon, its weight lighter than I would have guessed. It no heavier than the wooden pole I had used for practice. The thrumming intensified as I held it in my hands; more threads weaving. I took a deep breath in and pushed those threads to weave around the conduit that the staff became in my hands. Cold bit into my skin as the staff responded, magic surrounding my hands like a sentient mist. I focused my sight on a tree and swung the staff as I had been taught, feeling the mana around me flow with the movements. Ice shot out of the sphere sat atop the staff, freezing the tree I had been aiming for entirely.

"It worked!" I let out a surprised laugh.

"Thank the Maker," Cullen praised. "I was afraid—you'll have to thank Solas. He designed it."

"I will," I beamed at him. "But I'm thanking you first. After all, it wasn't Solas that requisitioned a staff for me, was it?"

He blushed a little. "No."

I slid the staff into the baldric strapped to my back and tied the short-swords to my belt. We tied our horses next to the others' before beginning our ascent up to the fortress. The closer we drew, the more unease began pooling in my gut. I could not say why, but there was a whisper of fear as to what awaited us. The templars claimed to be servants of the Maker and Andraste, but these templars had abandoned their duty; Lucius had allowed them to physically assault a member of the clergy in front all of Val Royeaux before practically spitting on my sister for seeking aid with the Breach. Cullen seemed to trust this man, Barris, but beyond him? Were there any templars within that would be willing to help us? Would the Lord Seeker listen and come to his senses: realizing that the Breach was the only true threat at present? I couldn't fight the feeling that we were going to be entering a pit of vipers.

Maker, my enemies are abundant. Many are those who rise up against me. But my faith sustains me; I shall not fear the legion, should they set themselves against me.

Cullen's fingers brushed against mine and I looked up to find his eyes on me. He offered a soft smile and a nod of assurance before he pulled his hand away and looked forward. I let out a breath and followed his gaze. As I did, something moved in my peripheral. I found nothing when I turned to find the source. Cresting the stairs brought us to the outer wall, the gate raised. The entrance reminded me of a great mouth open in wait of unsuspecting prey. Cassandra stood near the gate, hand on the pommel of her sword as her face was set in grimace. She nodded at our approach and came to stand on my other side. As we passed through, we were greeted by the sight of several Orlesian nobles. Among them, Vivienne stood; she looked not only regal, but in her element as she entertained them. Varric was holding his own as he schmoozed a few fans of his books. Their eyes glancing towards us as we passed through the gate, they made their way across the bridge to stand with us for a few moments of private conversation.

"The templars know we are here," Vivienne informed us, "We are waiting for the Lord Seeker to send a reply."

"Did you speak with a Ser Barris?" Cullen quietly inquired as his eyes swept over the nobles that crowded the stone bridge.

"He was the templar that greeted us."

"The Herald of Andraste!" A voice called as a couple of the masked nobles approached us. "Lord Esmeral Abernache. Honored to participate. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales." He gave a slight nod before turning his attention to Vivienne. "Ah, Lady Vivienne! We met at last summer’s ball? The duke introduced us."

Vivienne turned, inclining her head only slightly. "Indeed. I could not possibly forget the occasion," she replied before she strode ahead and directed the other nobles to follow her towards the main gate of the fortress. 

Abernache turned back to me. "The Lord Seeker is willing to hear our petition about closing the Breach. A credit to our alliance with the Inquisition. Care to mark the moment? Ten Orlesian houses walk with you."

"The Inquisition values this alliance, Lord Abernache," I politely replied. "The templars must see reason. We can’t let the Breach endanger us any longer."

The mask of Abernache studied me a moment, before turning towards where the Breach hung in the sky. "Oh, yes. Ghastly-looking thing. The Lord Seeker can’t think we’re ignoring it." He waved a hand to have me follow. Cullen, Cassandra and Varric went ahead to cross the bridge. Something shifted in my peripheral again, but as soon as I looked, it was gone. Once we were alone, Abernache spoke. "Speaking of which, I don’t suppose you’d divulge what finally got their attention? Rumor will if you won’t."

Confused, I knit my brows. "What do you mean?

"The Lord Seeker won’t meet us until he greets the Inquisition 'in person'. Quite a surprise after the spat in Val Royeaux," Abernache replied. 

That was odd when compared with the reaction Ellana and Cassandra had described. He'd been vile towards them and the Inquisition, hardly deigning to speak with either of them beyond uttering words of slander. Now he would accept nothing less than meeting us in person? I said nothing of this to Abernache, but made note to mention it to the others if the opportunity came. "The Inquisition only asks the Lord Seeker help us close the Breach."

"Then it’s all been arranged by your ambassador. Let the diplomats work their magic if you trust them. Between you and I, the Chantry never took advantage of their templars. Wiser heads should steer them," the man conspired. I was beginning to like this Abernache less by the moment, but he and the others were the only reason we were here. 

We had walked together across the bridge and followed a path to the start of another stone bridge that led to the fortress proper as we spoke. Nobles crowded the outer gate, surrounding a few templars stood outside of it. Beyond laid an inner courtyard comprised mainly of stables.

"Here we are! Therinfal Redoubt." Abernache looked towards the courtyard. "It appears they’ve sent someone to greet you. Present well. Everyone is a little tense for my liking." Abernache gave a slight bow before leaving me to join his fellow nobles.

I caught up with Cullen, Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric who were all speaking in low tones amongst each other. They all looked to me as I approached. "It seems the Lord Seeker is waiting to meet us."

"It screams 'I hate fun and kick puppies', doesn’t it?" Varric asked as he eyed the fortress. I smirked a little at Varric's comment and noticed that Cullen's lips twitched as he held in a chuckle.

"The Lord Seeker abandoned the White Spire to come here?" Cassandra questioned, shaking her head. "These lords are useful, but none of this should be necessary. Surely, the Lord Seeker sees the true threat. What is he playing at?"

"I’d ask this lot out for drinks later, but I’m afraid they’d annex the tavern," Varric smirked.

"Just the tavern?" Cullen replied, a self-satisfied smile pulling his scar. 

"I suppose that is underestimating them, isn't it, Curly?" Varric chuckled.

I looked over the fortress, that unease settling heavily in my gut. You have walked beside me down the paths where a thousand arrows sought my flesh. You have stood with me when all others have forsaken me. "According to Abernache, the Lord Seeker changed his mind about us rather quickly. Is he known for that?" I asked aloud.

"The Lord Seeker isn’t reputed to be fickle," Vivienne stated. "Something must have changed."

"Attack of conscience? I hear they happen once or twice an age," Varric shrugged.

"Twice? That's news to me," Cullen mumbled.

 Varric eyed Cullen, his lips curling upwards as he studied the Commander. I guessed at what he saw—Cullen standing straighter, jesting easier; a quiet strength oozing from him. Cullen had always been strong and proud, but there was a slight difference in the way he was carrying and conducting himself. My heart warmed at the change. I had to hold back a smile as I glanced over him: the rain had fully brought out the curl of his hair. He looked younger when his hair was its natural texture.

"Come, we should meet whom the Lord Seeker sent," Cassandra instructed, her dark brows furrowed.

  We made our way across the stone bridge, listening to the nobles pester the templars that stood outside the gatehouse. The nobles were threatening the wrath of the Empress upon the templars for their disobedience and inaction towards the Breach. Grumblings of the templars' shameful behavior in Val Royeaux was also among them. I could sense Cullen bristling at their language as many insinuated that the templars were owned and needed to be leashed. He bit his tongue, but his face turned sourer the more we heard the nobles speak. I could understand his frustration, even to a degree the Order's frustration. While the templars had served the Chantry for ages, their responsibilities—and the sacrifices they made—were taken for granted. How they had handled themselves, however, was disgraceful for men and women who took vows to serve and protect the people; who claimed obedience to the Maker and his Bride. As we passed into the gatehouse, I looked up to the scaffolding that climbed up near the gate. I swore that I saw something—or someone—lounging up there, but I blinked and whatever it was had disappeared. More templars, all knights and initiates from what I could tell, stood within; they wore various expressions of worry, skepticism or irritation. Some questioned as to why they were being left to deal with the nobles, wondering where their superior officers were. Their eyes followed us as we strode through, unsure of what to make of us. I spotted Abernache near the gate, approaching another noble that stood close to a templar knight. The templar looked irritated as he spoke with an attaché. I looked the templar over as we approached: he was young, but I'd guess not much younger than Cullen and myself. He had his helmet sat in the crook of his elbow, revealing the tight coils of his dark hair that were shaved close to his head. Striking green eyes studied the nobles in front of him; his full lips pulled in a tight line as the nostrils of his broad nose were slightly flared in agitation. His deep brown skin and the metal of his armor were wet with rain, indicating that he'd been a victim to the weather as well. Despite the subtle signs of his agitation, his broad shoulders were straight as he held himself like a man who was comfortable in his own skin. 

"Childebert!" I heard Abernache shout. "By the Maker, I haven’t seen you in months!"

The other noble turned at his name. "Not enough hunting in your forests, Esmeral! Give the boars time to recover!"

"In that case, let’s celebrate collaring these templars by raiding my cellar. Some nice Tevinter whites this season," Abernache chuckled.

"They’ll be well earned," Childebert inclined his head. "I never thought the Lord Seeker would throw his weight in the Game."

"You think he dares?" Abernache growled, placing his hands on his hips.

"Of course! This isn’t some religious pique — the man meant to draw us out," Childebert observed. "Why drag his templars to this rock if not to wring out some concessions?"

"Mmm," Abernache hummed. "You know these Chantry types. Tricky to nail down sometimes."

I felt Cassandra and Cullen stiffen at Abernache's words. Thankfully, both stayed quiet, but I could sense their stares boring into the nobleman. At our approach the templar near the gate flicked his gaze our way. His green eyes swept over us, catching first on Cullen and then me. 

"I present Knight-Templar Ser Delrin Barris, second son of Bann Jevrin Barris of Ferelden," the attache stated to Abernache, who stood before Barris. Delrin made his way to us, not stopping as the attache continued. "Ser Barris, may I be so honored to present Lord Esmeral Abernache…?"

Delrin closed the distance between himself and our party. His eyes landing on Cullen. "Commander Rutherford?"

"I am," Cullen nodded, his hands going to his sword pommel.

"You said the Inquisition works to close this 'Breach' in the Veil."

"We do," Cullen assured. 

Barris's eyes flicked to me and then looked over the nobles before meeting Cullen's eyes again. "I didn't think you'd bring such...lofty company."

Abernache approached, crossing his arms over his chest. "Barris? Moderate holdings, your family. And the second son?" Abernache scoffed.

Barris ignored the nobleman. "This… promise of status has garnered interest from the Lord Seeker. Beyond sense. The sky burns with magic, but he ignores all calls to action until your friends arrive."

"Cassandra, should a Seeker lead the templars this way?" I asked.

Cassandra looked concerned, but answered, "In an emergency, if there’s no other recourse, but his goal should be to restore them to order."

Barris clasped his hands behind his back. "He has taken command. Permanently."

Cassandra shifted on her feet, her brow furrowing. "If he feels there is a holy mandate…"

Barris nodded. "That is what the Lord Seeker claims, and our commanders parrot him." The man let out a heavy sigh full of bitterness as his shoulders dropped. "The Lord Seeker’s actions make no sense. He promised to restore the Order’s honor, then marched us here to wait? Templars should know their duty, even when held from it."

"A templar who remembers his responsibilities? I am reassured," Vivienne sneered and I couldn't help but feel that she was directing her statement to Cullen as much as she was to Barris.

Barris flicked his eyes to her, a frown pulling his mouth, but he said nothing. His gaze returned to me, studying my face. It was like Cassandra had said of Cullen after Kirkwall: Barris was desperate for a way out of this situation. I tested the waters. "You're with us?" I asked.

"Win over the Lord Seeker, and every able-bodied knight will help the Inquisition seal the Breach."

"That’s why the Inquisition came, Ser Barris," I assured.

His worried expression didn't soften. "I’d tell you your chances, but the officers are a mystery lately." The officers. That's twice now they've been mentioned as behaving strangely. Before I could ask him about it, he spoke again. "We’ve been asked to accept much, after that shameful display in Val Royeaux." It was clear he at least was angry about what had happened in Val Royeaux. "Our truth changes on the hour." Truth? On the hour? Something is wrong.

Abernache came to stand next to Barris and I. "Don’t keep your betters waiting, Barris. There’s important work for those born to it." I desperately wished that we had not needed these pompous nobles.Barris shot the man a glare but held his tongue before turning to lead us through the open gate.

I leaned towards Cullen to whisper, "What do you think?"

He contemplated his answer as his amber eyes scanning our surroundings. "The officers should be the ones dealing with all of this, and yet it's only the initiates and lower ranking knights? Something's not right, but given the Lord Seeker's current mood and recent actions..."

I nodded. We came to an open courtyard where a mass of templars stood waiting. The nobles and templars that had stood outside the gate made their way in behind us before spreading out. The courtyard was scattered with supplies and a few tents, surrounding a sealed well that sat in the middle. There were stairs leading to the upper levels of the fortress. Therinfal was not in total disrepair, but it had clearly seen better days. Barris led me over to a set of wooden cranks before gesturing to the wall before us. There were three standards on pulley systems. One bore the Chantry's sun symbol, the next the Order's coat of arms, and the last the crest of Ferelden.

"The Lord Seeker has a… request before you meet him," Barris informed, gesturing to the standards. "These are the Standards. An honored rite centered on the people, the Maker, and the Order." Barris gestured to each flag in turn. "The people: mages and common folk alike. It’s for their safety the Order was formed. The Maker: the Chantry and Andraste. Bride of the Maker. Lady of Light. And finally, the Order: The templars. Proud Agents. Sword of the faith." Barris turned back to me. "The Lord Seeker asks that you perform the rite so that he may see the order in which you honor them."

"Why?" Cullen demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. "This is the rite of a templar initiate, not for any outside the Order to perform or witness. It is normally followed by a long study of how the Order was used in the past to help the initiate make their own choices."

"I agree, Commander, but this is what the Lord Seeker requested before he meets with the Inquisition," Barris pursed his lips.

I looked the standards over. The people, the Maker, and the Order. What is the Lord Seeker playing at? This was not a rite for me to perform, nor would my answers be a representation of the Inquisition as a whole. "What if I fail?"

"There is no 'correct' answer," Barris replied patiently, clasping his hands behind his back once more. "The ritual simply shows watchers who you are and what you value." I wonder what Cullen's answer had been.

Cullen leaned towards me to whisper in my ear. "Aside from this bordering on sacrilegious, it seems that the Lord Seeker is either stalling or playing some kind of game with you."

"I agree," I murmured before turning back to Barris. "Fancy title aside, I don't actually command the Inquisition. What I answer may not represent the organization as a whole."

"That doesn't seem to matter," Barris stated as he looked over the standards. He turned to Cullen and I, lowering his voice. "The Lord Seeker changed everything to meet you. Not the Inquisition—you. Ellana Lavellan."

Cullen and I exchanged a glance. Was Ellana's name known to the Lord Seeker? Was this a veiled threat just as Alexius's use of her name had been. "Why?" I asked. 

Barris's composure broke as a worried look crossed his face. "I don't know. He's been fixated on you since your hoard of nobles arrived."

Abernache approached. "The Lord Seeker makes us shuffle flags around? Refuse! Let’s meet the man already."

"That is my suggestion as well, Herald," Cullen agreed.

"The Lord Seeker brushed me aside in Val Royeaux. Now he requests me by name. What changed?" I asked Barris. None of this was making any sense beyond what Cullen had said—this was either a stalling tactic or a game. I wanted more information before I refused or accepted the request.

"Nothing, except the company you keep. Perform the Standards, and you can ask the Lord Seeker why his opinion of the 'Herald' improved," Barris looked around at the other templars who had begun to grumble.

They spoke to their confusion over the Lord Seeker's actions and request that I perform this ritual. Others looked me over with disapproving faces, claiming Andraste would not have chosen an elf as her Herald. Would not have chosen a mage. Worse than both: a Dalish apostate. Others believed it was all of those factors as well as my being alive that proved it was the Maker's will. I looked to Barris. "Do the other templars have faith in what the Inquisition stands for?" 

Barris turned back to me. "You aren’t the Herald they taught us to expect, but your race could be part of Andraste’s message. More troubling is your company," he shot a glare at Abernache. "We’ve had no end of pain from snakes like him."

"Have a care knight!" Abernache protested.

Barris ignored the man, his eyes meeting mine. "They should have no appeal to the Lord Seeker. Our doors shouldn’t open to power flaunted. I don’t recognize what the Order is becoming."

"That makes two of us," Cullen murmured. Barris looked to Cullen and gave a slight nod.

I looked at the banners, around at the gathered templars and to Barris. If the Lord Seeker was stalling on purpose, I feared the reason why. If this was some kind of test or game, I did not want to play it. "I mean no offense, but the Lord Seeker can’t delay any longer, Barris. Take us to him, if you would." 

Barris looked stressed at my words. "The Lord Seeker’s request about the ritual was—" 

"You helmed louts are wasting the Inquisition's time and my time," Abernache complained, stepping towards Barris in an act of intimidation. 

Barris let out a deep sigh, clearly at the end of his wits. "Right. The Lord Seeker can deal with this. Follow me."

Barris led us within the fortress to the lower barracks where even more templars were waiting. He directed one of the templars to let the Lord Seeker know that the Inquisition would wait no longer. Time ticked by the tension growing in the room as it did. I looked to Cullen and Cassandra, who were keeping their hands on their swords. I looked to Vivienne and Varric, both reading the room even as they kept a nonchalant air about themselves.

"This is an outrage!" Abernache cried. "How much longer is he going to keep us waiting? What does he hope to gain by this continued offense?"

"My dear Lord Abernache," Vivienne interjected. "Surely you of all people understand the game he is playing?"

"He wants your feathers ruffled," Varric chuckled. "The more rattled you are, the easier you are to manipulate."

"Do compose yourself, Lord Abernache," Cassandra instructed.

"'Compose myself'?" Abernache seethed. "I am composed, Seeker. This whole affair has been a disgrace and waste of my time. Your Inquisition better put these templars in their place. It's obvious there's discord amongst the ranks. Take the templars who will be loyal and let us leave."

"We obey the Lord Seeker," Barris argued. "He has led us true and has the Order's interest in mind. You have only yours. As for the Inquisition, we are unsure of the organization. If the Lord Seeker believes them a worthy cause to aid, we will come willingly."

"Forget the Lord Seeker," Abernache waved his hand. "You are to be loyal to the Chantry, no? The Inquisition was founded by the Divine. Surely the Inquisition to whom she granted authority before her death—Maker rest her soul—are more worthy of your loyalty than the Lord Seeker who abandoned his duties, assumed command of the Order, and marched you to this ramshackle fortress. To do what exactly, Ser Barris? To sit and wait for the Breach to swallow the world? All so you could moan about not getting your way like spoiled children?"

"It's not about getting our way," Barris scowled. "We are following what our leaders command because they lead us in faith. The Chantry broke that faith and betrayed our trust, dishonoring the Order that has served them for ages. The Lord Seeker wishes to see the Order's honor restored; for us to no longer be the Chantry's leashed dogs, but true knights of Our Lady. To be servants to the Maker. He will meet with you and the Inquisition. He will decide if you will see to the Order's interests and if so, we will answer the call for aid."

"Did you not say that a templar should know their duty even when kept from it?" I asked. "Is obeying the Lord Seeker your duty? Or is it serving Andraste, the Maker, and the people as your Standards indicated?"

Barris hesitated a moment. "Those are our core tenets, but the Lord Seeker rallied us and promises better for the Order. What does the Inquisition offer?"

"The Inquisition would see your Order perform its duty," I voiced. "If serving and protecting is what you ultimately believe to be right, then abandoned the Lord Seeker and help us."

"We can't abandon our orders," Barris stated. "If we left, who would lead us? You?" Barris asked. "Commander Rutherford? This Lord and his nobles? Forgive me, Herald, but we do not know you and you cannot tell us with any certainty that you were sent by the Maker. Your Commander may have been a templar, but he left the Order. We do not know your organization, and we'd no sooner follow Orlesian nobles than the Empress herself. The Maker and his Bride are our guides, and we'd do better to follow one of our own who understands this. Pomp and circumstance are unnecessary, if your intentions are worthy, the Lord Seeker will see that and conduct himself as such."

"It's necessary, you know!" Abernache argued. "Set aside your fanaticism! Your options are limited. You follow your Lord Seeker or the Inquisition—you don't run a battlefield by committee."

"Without faith, you've no knights!" Barris hissed. "You've—" A door opened to another templar wearing the armor of a knight-captain. He was flanked by two other templars. "Knight-Captain?"

What I noticed first was their eyes, a reddish gleam in them that I thought was a trick of the torches. I blinked, but the red was still there, shining through the slits of their helms. After the gleam, I heard it. A song comprised of quiet whispers promising power emanating from the templars that had entered the room. The knight-captain approached us, his hands clasped behind his back, his gait slow and predatory. As he drew closer, I saw the dark, thick veins mostly hidden by his helm and gorget. "You were expecting the Lord Seeker. He sent me to die for you."

Barris and I exchanged a glance as I felt Cullen step nearer to me. "Something is terribly wrong," he breathed so low, only I could hear, his voice sounding alarmed. "Be ready. Barriers first on everyone you can, then attack. Do not draw your blades until you must. I will defend you."

Abernache backed away from the knight-captain and came around the table to meet my eyes. "He is not well."

"Knight-Captain Denam," Barris addressed the templar. "I've brought the Inquisition's representatives. Will the Lord Seeker not see them?"

Denam's eyes landed on me, icy dread sliding down my spine in response. "So, this is the herald of change?" Denam questioned, his voice sounding oddly detached. "You are why everything must be moved ahead."

I looked to Barris, his face becoming increasingly worried. "Ser Barris, I'm right in assuming the knight-captain has seen better days?" My voice held more confidence than I felt.

"I tried to make us ready," Denam straightened. "I thought I knew the way." What have we walked into? Maker, Andraste...save us. The sounds of swords and shields clashing as monstrous roars and strangled cries began reverberating off the stone walls. I felt Cullen tense beside me, his sword hand tightening on his hilt. The templars within the room began to murmur worriedly, glancing between each other and at the knight-captain. "The Lord Seeker had a plan, but the Herald ruined it by arriving with purpose. It sowed too much dissent." 

Barris charged Denam, confusion and worry lighting his eyes. "Knight-Captain, I must know what’s going on!"

Denam turned to Barris. "You were all supposed to be changed! Now we must purge the questioning knights!"

At the knight-captain's words, chaos broke loose. More templars flooded the room, each wearing a shard of something red around their necks. The few whose faces were exposed, looked like corpses. Pronounced veins webbed across their grey skin, glowing red and pulsing. Their eyes held more than a glint of red, their pupils luminous crimson. Corrupted. Barris backed away from the knight-captain, taking in the approaching templars. The ring of swords being drawn sounded as the strings of bows were stretched taught.

"The Elder One is coming. No one will leave Therinfal who is not stained red!" Denam shouted as arrows flew and swords flashed.

"Now, Herald!" Cullen drew his sword, shoving me behind him as he strapped on his shield. "Maker, save us!" Cullen prayed as templars began falling around us, cries and shouts of pain cut short as blades and arrows found their marks. The crimson of blood spewed from wounds about the room.

"Maker's breath!" Barris swore as he drew his own weapons and defended himself against the knight-captain.

I summoned barriers at Cullen's order. Cassandra and the others drew their weapons and threw themselves into the fray. Swords clashed, arrows and magic flew. I palmed my staff, the metal thrumming as I drew on the threads of my mana. I kept my barriers fed as the corrupted templars attacked the remaining templars, Barris, and our party. The corrupted templars were strong—unnaturally so. Their blades crashed against my magic, each swing gouging out large portions of the barriers. Cullen stayed near me as he promised, grunting with the effort of blocking incoming arrows and blades. Cassandra came to his side after dispatching an archer. 

"What in the Maker's name is going on, Cullen?" Cassandra barked as she blocked a blow, the sound ringing in my ears.

"I don't know," Cullen answered as he thrust his blade into the gut of an attacking templar, knocking the templars swing with his shield to create his opening. "But I think...Sweet Maker, is that red lyrium?"

"Aaah! What’s happening?" Lord Abernache cried as he ran past us.

"Abernache, stay down!" Barris barked as he parried a strike from Denam. "Knight-Captain! What have you done?" Barris was enraged as he faced down his superior officer.

"I tried to make us stronger! But time has run out," Denam answered, swinging blow after blow which Barris met with his shield. "We must test the Herald! The Lord Seeker will see you now!" Denam's red eyes turned to me, a cold smile spreading across his face. "It’s your fault, elf. He wants you, not us! Now we’re all gifts for the Elder One!" 

My fault? Test me? This Elder One again? What is going on?  Fear was coiling in my gut as I heard that whispering song change from sweet enticement to a cacophony of defiant yells, horrified screams, and broken sobs. Cullen and Cassandra fought, a wall between me and the crazed templars that crashed against them.   Varric was leaping around the room, Bianca emitting her mechanical thwack at an alarming rate as he fired shot after shot. Vivienne laughed at the templars that tried to take her down, freezing them where they stood before causing them to burst apart. Frozen limbs littering the ground where they'd once stood. 

While the fighting went on, I could hear Barris battering Denam with questions. "What's the Lord Seeker done to us? How many of us have changed? How far does this betrayal go?" They all went unanswered by the knight-captain. Barris let out a defiant yell as his blade pierced his superior's gut. Denam crumpled to the floor, holding his wound.

As the knight-captain fell, so too did his corrupted brethren. Bodies, limbs and blood covered the floor as only a few of us remained alive. "Who's not dead?" Varric questioned the room.

All of our party answered; a few uncorrupted templars grunted in response, holding various wounds. Barris went behind a stack of grain sacks. "Abernache. Useless, but alive!" Barris shouted before he returned to Denam.

"Is the knight-captain alive?" I asked as I approached the templar.

Barris turned to me, his green eyes full of anger. "Barely. If you use a healing elixir, he might survive. If he even deserves it."

I looked down at Denam. This man would have information on what happened here and why; it would be a waste to just let him die. "We’ll heal him. Let’s deal with the knight-captain after we find his master." I turned to Cullen. "Where can we confine him?"

Cullen met my eyes, but there was something in them I had not seen for weeks. That haunted look was back. "I'd say we tie him up in here," Cullen nodded to a wooden pillar. "We'll need to move further in to find answers." He looked towards the door Denam had entered through; shouts and fighting could still be heard. He walked forward and began examining the corrupted templars that had fallen, his face turning livid and grim. He used his sword to bring one of the chains they wore around their necks closer to his eyes, examining the red crystal.

"He hardly deserves our charity," Vivienne scoffed as Barris moved the knight-captain.

"Deserved or no, he has information," I answered as I knelt to heal Denam. That song louder. "I would see him questioned." Vivienne waved a hand of dismissal.

Barris tried the door we'd entered through after talking with the surviving templars. "Stuck. It's barricaded from the other side." He pressed an ear to the door, horror crossing his features. "I...I think they're killing the nobles out there." I looked to him, his horror mirrored on my own face. I rushed to the door and threw my magic at it only to find it rendered powerless. "The others must have warded the door."

"Blessed Andraste, guide the fallen to the Maker's side," Cassandra stated, her voice low. Those poor people...we-we brought them here and now...

"This way is locked as well," Cullen informed as he tried the door Denam had entered through after finishing his study of the corrupted templars.

Barris made his way over to Denam's unconscious body and searched him. "The knight-captain's keys." Barris threw them to Cullen, who caught them and turned to the door. "I would question the Lord Seeker about this 'Elder One'."

"You don't know what the knight-captain was talking about?" I asked Barris.

"No, I've not heard anything about it before he spoke of it," Barris shook his head. Both the mages and templars are wrapped up in this Elder One business. What does that mean?

"More of them!" Cullen shouted as he got the door open. "Sweet blood of Andraste!"

We hurried to him as he blocked blow after blow, grunting with the effort. I was not prepared for what lay beyond the door. The corrupted templars we first encountered were grotesque to look at, but these templars were nothing less than monsters.Red crystals were growing out of what little skin they had left, their eyes blood red and their armor twisting away where the red crystals jutted through. The sounds they made were hardly human, though they did still speak. Their voices sounding like many speaking at once. 

Cassandra gasped as she beheld one charging at her. "They’re monstrous!"

"You think?" Varric called as his arrows bloomed out of the neck of one. One after the other, but the templar kept coming at him.

"We all noticed!" Vivienne barked exasperatedly, as her staff twisted around her. Ice freezing all the templars in the hall, allowing Cullen, Barris and Cassandra's blades to fracture them apart.

"It’s horrible!" Cassandra exclaimed, her eyes unable to believe what they were seeing.

"We need to find as many uncorrupted templars as possible and get out of here!" Cullen shouted. I could see sweat dripping down his face. "Barris, where should we go?"

"The main hall," Barris instructed. "That's where the others were. We need to get to them. The Lord Seeker should be among them." Barris led us through the barracks. Bodies littered the way; torn apart and obviously brutalized. These templars, or whatever they were, had cut their way through their brethren without mercy. 

"What templars would do this?" Cullen asked aloud. "This is cold-blooded murder. Barris, what in the Maker's name has been happening here?"

"I-I don't know," Barris answered. "We've been kept separate from the officers, the only senior templar we've seen has been Denam. He'd relay the orders of the Lord Seeker and the Knight-Vigilant. Perhaps we should find the Knight-Vigilant? He's well respected. I doubt he'd be caught up in this mess."

"We should try," Cassandra agreed.

"You mentioned none of this in your letter," Cullen growled. 

"Do you not remember how it was?" Barris replied, his own voice sharp, as he looked at yet another dead comrade. "We follow orders and we do not question."

"I remember only too well," Cullen murmured. I looked to him. His face was dark, his jaw clenched hard. Cullen.

"Help...me," a voice called. We all stopped abruptly and hurried towards the voice. It was a female templar who'd been stabbed in the gut, but she still lived. I bent down to her, ascertaining the wound. Fixable, but she'd need rest. I summoned healing magic and closed the wound. "Thank you."

"Stay hidden and rest," I instructed. "We'll be back for you."

As we made it to the top of the stairs, we were met with another pack of the corrupted templars. I couldn't bear to look at them. They had once been men and women but were now nothing more than monsters. Their corruption visible and plain. They fought without fear, without remorse, and without mercy. Strength and speed beyond normal capabilities. I produced barrier after barrier on all of our party and prayed to Andraste, my strength would not run out quickly.

Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. 

These were not the Maker's champions. 

"Prepare them! Guide them to me!" a voice shouted and I let out a gasp as I stopped. It wailed in my mind, sounding like a choir twisting into one voice.

"Herald?" Cullen asked, a grip on my elbow.

"Was-was that the Lord Seeker?" I panted, a hand at my head as it pounded in the aftermath.

"I heard nothing," Cullen replied. I found his amber eyes; they were full of concern as he looked me over. The others responded in kind, eyes turning to me. "What did you hear?" Cullen asked.

"Th-there was a voice," I panted. "It-it...hurt." I shook my head to clear away the pain. "A man's voice, I think, but it sounded...strange. Like several speaking at once."

"Are you all right, my dear?" Vivienne asked.

"I am...fine now." I answered.

"What did the voice say?" Cassandra asked.

"'Prepare them. Guide them to me'," I met her dark eyes. Her brow furrowed. "The knight-captain said something about my needing to be tested. Ser Barris, do you know what he was talking about?"

Barris scowled and shook his head. "I do not."

"And none of you heard it?" I asked. They all shook their heads in response, worry on their faces.

Varric slapped Cullen on the back as Cullen had gone a little pale. "Oh, come on, Curly, this should be run of the mill for you! How much weird crap did you deal with on a daily basis as knight-captain?"

"It was my hope to escape all the 'weird crap' when I left, dwarf," Cullen shot Varric a glare.

I chuckled in spite of myself knowing it meant Varric had achieved his desired effect. "Varric, you will have to regale me of our Commander's adventures in Kirkwall once we're out of this mess."

"It would be my pleasure, Herald," Varric smiled. 

"Maker's breath," Cullen grumbled, but that haunted look had abated just a little when his eyes met mine. "Herald, alert us if you hear this voice again." I gave him a nod.

"We should get moving," Barris urged to our agreement.

Barris led us out to the upper courtyard. More corrupted templars stalked the grounds, fighting the few templars that stood against them. More bodies lay dead as we rushed to help those who were fighting. Gutted, beheaded, torn limb from limb, necks twisted at wrong angles.

"Herald, Vivienne, ice walls to create a chokepoint and block the archers!" Cullen directed. "Barris, Cassandra, and templars, to the front. Mages and Varric, volley from the back. Herald, barriers after your ice wall and stay with me!"

We did as Cullen directed, forcing the corrupted templars to funnel through. The arrows of the archers pounded against the ice wall, but none came through. 

Show me what you are! That voice echoed in my mind again and I shouted out. 

"Herald? Are you all right?" Cullen yelled, but his voice sounded far away.

"It's the voice," I gasped, but I didn't know if he could hear me.

"Herald! The ice wall!" Cullen shouted in alarm.

I blinked and saw that my side of the wall had shattered. I panted through the pain of the voice and summoned another wall, but not before one of the surviving templars was shot down with arrows from a corrupted archer that had the high ground. Vivienne froze the archer before one of Varric's arrows found its mark, causing the ice to turn red as blood flowed from the archer's pierced throat. Another corrupted templar took his place.

"Flames!" I swore as the uncorrupted templar fell. I jerked my hands up, forcing the ice wall taller. 

I would know you! I yelped aloud, the words lacerating at my mind, buckling to a knee, but I pushed through the pain to keep the wall up.

"Herald!" Varric shouted.

"Don't worry about me!" I cried, shoving the ache away.

"Done!" Cassandra shouted when the corrupted templars fell. "There's more in the refectory! I hear someone fighting!"

I let the ice to melt away as we passed through the door. More infighting met us. Vivienne peppered the corrupted templars with ice, slowing their movements. "Why aren't they using their abilities?" I shouted.

"Maybe they can't?" Cullen shouted back. "The crystals growing out of them— it is red lyrium!"

"What?" I gasped.

"What did I tell you, Curly?" Varric chuckled. "Just like Kirkwall!"

Cassandra made a disgusted noise. Vivienne and I froze the corrupted templars, allowing the others to bash them with their shields. Their frozen bodies shattered apart at the impact. 

You will be so much more! I doubled over, holding my head in my hands, the pain growing more intense. 

"Herald?" Cassandra asked.

I was shaking, sweating. The world around me growing blurry. I pushed myself to stand, grabbing a nearby beam as the ground rose up to meet me. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. "We need to keep moving," I ground out.

"I don't know what's happening," the templar stated in answer to Barris. "All of the officers have been turned into those...things."

"Make your way to the lower barracks; gather any other survivors you run into down there. Keep the knight-captain bound." Barris instructed, before leading us onward. "This way."

More stairs and another landing brought us to more templars fighting for their lives. One shouted for the templars coated in red lyrium to stop, but they refused. We joined the fight, numbers making quick work of the corrupted knights. 

"Thank you," one said. "Our brethren have gone mad. There are more of the red ones above." She was steady despite the circumstances.

"We've been directing survivors towards the lower barracks—" Barris began.

"No, we face these traitors with you," the other retorted, his eyes livid, but clear of the red.

"We will need all the templars we can get to face the Breach," I stated. 

"There will be no point if you don't survive, Herald," the first stated. "We fight with you."

"Wait here, then," Barris ordered. "I want to check something. Herald, if you would." Barris led us over to a door we'd passed, stress plain on his face. "This is the knight-captain's quarters. He was refusing anyone entry. Keys, Commander." Cullen tossed the keys to Barris.

"Do we have time for this?" Cassandra asked.

"I fear what truths may be revealed," Barris stated as he worked on the lock. "We may need it to confront the Lord Seeker properly."

"You believe this corruption extends all the way to the Lord Seeker?" Cullen questioned, a scowl on his face.

The door swung open as Barris pushed against it. Denam's quarters were a mess, and I had to cover my nose as the smell of death filled my nostrils. I glanced around until my eyes landed on a body on the floor. Barris rushed forward to turn the body over. "To answer your question, Commander, I fear that may be the case." Barris looked up at us. "This is Knight-Vigilant Trentwatch. The Lord Seeker told us he died at the Conclave."

"The Lord Seeker is either a fool or a liar," Vivienne stated as she examined her nails. I didn't know how the woman still looked immaculate. The rest of us were rain-soaked, covered in blood, and wearing various expressions of anxiousness.

"I'm beginning to understand why I've never met an old templar," Varric observed, his eyes flicking to Cullen.

"Andraste, guide us," Cullen murmured as he knelt to examine the body. "A mortal wound from a sword thrust. This was murder." Cullen stood and began searching the quarters, his face growing harder by the second. He reached the desk and sorted through the paperwork there. He picked up a piece of parchment and read over it quickly. "I fear you're right, Barris. This is a letter from the Lord Seeker to Trentwatch asking him to come to Therinfal covertly. He was to meet Denam and then the Lord Seeker here in Denam's office. He never left." Barris went to Cullen's side and took the parchment, reading over the words written.

Cassandra had been investigating the body when Cullen made his announcement. "The Lord Seeker lied. Maker, help us."

"Was the knight-captain hiding the body for the Lord Seeker?" Barris questioned as he read and reread the letter. "Did he kill the man himself? Maker, what’s happening to the Order?"

"What went on here, Barris? The whole of it," Cullen demanded. His voice was commanding.

"Knight-Captain Denam told us the knight-vigilant died at the Conclave," Barris told Cullen. "Our officers hid a murder. Did they manipulate us for this 'Elder One' nonsense the knight-captain screamed about?" Barris's anger was growing as was his bitterness. Cullen looked at the man, some sympathy in his eyes. I could only guess that Cullen could relate to Barris's situation. 

Murder. Corruption. Betrayal. Lies. But what or who is this Elder One?

"So, you truly know nothing of this Elder One?" I asked.

"No. Templars serve the Maker and the Light of Andraste," Barris shook his head. "As I said, I’ve never heard of an 'Elder One' before the knight-captain began ranting."

"Why aren't all the templars corrupted? Why are you still alive?" Cassandra asked.

"The knight-captain said he was trying to change us all?" Barris pondered. "Nothing in this makes sense."

"If the Lord Seeker and knight-captain are compromised, who now leads you?" I asked, looking to both Cullen and Barris. Cullen was looking at more documents on the knight-captain's desk, tucking anything he found important into his cuirass, before he began searching the drawers and Denam's personal chest.

"Officers across Thedas," Barris stated before he gripped his sword tightly. His eyes landed on the dead knight-vigilant once more. "How many have fallen to this madness, I don’t know. How long was this planned? How long has this lie poisoned us?" Barris's eyes stayed on the body for a few moments before meeting my stare. "I never met the knight-vigilant, but he was respected. Now I wonder how much of the war was the Lord Seeker and my captain." Barris lifted his chin. "We're owed an explanation. The dead are owed more." Cullen stiffened at Barris's words. He turned towards the man, his eyes wide and full of that haunted expression again. 

"We'll find out what's going on. For now, we need to move on," I instructed.

"I pray the Lord Seeker can explain this madness; that he is not truly involved," Barris voiced. "Up the next few flights of stairs to the main hall."

As we filed out of the office, Cullen pulled me aside. "Do you keep hearing it? Is that why you've been crying out in pain?" I could see the worry and anger in his eyes. Not anger at me, but at whatever was causing me pain.

"I do," I admitted. "It hurts and...it's getting worse." I met his eyes and lowered my voice. "I will be all right. You need to stay focused."

"I fear what this means," he murmured.

"What do you fear it is?" I asked searching his face.

"Your description of the voice..." he began but shook his head. His eyes were intense when they met mine. "Do not leave my side," he growled. 

We exited the office, following Barris and the others up a set of stairs which opened to a landing. From the center of the landing grew a huge flight of stairs. More dead littered the area. The dead grew in number as we cut our way through more of the corrupted templars. 

The Herald of Andraste! It’s time we became better acquainted! Come. Show me what kind of female you really are. What do you think to accomplish? What will you become? 

I screamed in agony, clutching my head as my knees buckled. Cullen stepped in front of me, blocking a blow that would have been my death. He let out a defiant cry as he thrust his sword into the neck of the corrupted templar and fought on. As the pain subsided, I shakily cast barriers over them all. Once the corrupted were cut down, Cullen helped me hurry up the stairs with the others before we crashed our way through the large doors to the main hall. 

"Maker, save us," Cullen breathed. "Andraste, give us strength. What have they done?"

Similar statements passed through the group as we entered the hall. Inhuman wails pierced our ears as we beheld the scene before us. Corrupted and uncorrupted templars fought. Dead were strewn everywhere. Among the red lyrium templars were mutilated horrors. Humanoid monstrosities; mottled skin stretched over armor and torn apart by large deposits of red lyrium. They wailed before they attacked: the sound a mixture of unbearable pain and madness as they clutched their heads. Elongated claws swung at their prey, tearing through armor, flesh, and bone. Lifeless eyes stared through the slits in the helms that were fused with their skulls, rotting teeth like a smile as the skin of their face was pulled taut over the bones. Beyond the horrors, hulking masses stalked through the mob of fighting bodies, their chests heaving with heavy breaths. Crystals decorated them as well and though they looked more human than the horrors, it was only just enough to make anyone who looked upon them feel despair. 

Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker's Light and nothing that He has wrought shall be lost. 

A horror charged us, shooting red lyrium from its palms and we sprang into action. I cast barriers. Cullen and Cassandra deflected its projectiles with their shields. Varric and Vivienne hurled arrows and ice at it. Barris charged the creature as it slowed. As the blows landed, a putrid smell filled the air. Nausea rolled in my gut, the room beginning to spin and I nearly blacked out. I felt hands catch me before I hit the ground, pulling me to my feet.

"Stay with me, Herald," Cullen's voice commanded. "Contain the gas in a barrier or that thing will kill us all! Barris, get back! Varric, ready an arrow with fire."

I shook my head to clear it and did as he instructed. I waited for the others to attack and summoned a barrier. The gas the lyrium produced from the creature's wounds swirled around within. The horror clawed at the barrier until it eventually shattered. 

"Now, Varric!" Cullen commanded. Varric grunted as he shot his arrow. As the flames met the gas, it and the horror exploded, spraying us with remnants of the creature.

"Lovely," Vivienne's voice muttered in disgust. I looked at her to find her comment applied to the rest of us and not herself. 

"Come on!" Barris shouted. "The others need help!"

We threw ourselves into the fray and all I could do was pray none of us were injured. I listened to Cullen's directions, casting barriers, freezing enemies, creating walls for the others to use as cover. Cullen stayed next to me, but distracted by the battle, neither of us sensed the figure creeping its way towards us until I felt hands upon me. Cold and cruel, nails scraping my neck as fingers fisted my hair, yanking me down and dragging me. I screamed in pain at the contact. It seared hotter than fire burning against my flesh, sapping the strength from me, making it nearly impossible to think.

"I will know you," that voice hissed in my ear.

 "Herald!" Cullen's voice shouted over the noise of battle, his eyes searching for me as he turned. 

I was swallowed by the fighting bodies, blocked from his view as my attacker dragged me along the floor by my hair. Screams kept pouring from throat; I was unable to form any words through the haze of pain. Bleary as they were, my eyes searched for him. Panic settling in when I couldn't find him amongst the swarm of battle. The fighting separated for a moment, and I saw him trapped between two horrors and a corrupted knight. His face was ferocious as he swung his blade and blocked with his shield. Eyes blazing as he ruthlessly tore through his foes. 

"HERALD!" he bellowed. 

He was blocked from my view again as the hands yanked mercilessly on my hair. I was being dragged out of the hall. I tried to find purchase on the floor, tried to focus enough to use my magic, but the pain was unbearable at the effort. Knowing it was my last chance for Cullen to hear me as I was being pulled out a door, I sucked in a breath before screaming at the top of my lungs, the feeling like glass splintering in my chest, "CULLEN!"

In answer, I heard a roar tear through the main hall. Not a shout, not a battle cry or defiant yell, but a roar: as if from a wild beast described in one of Minaeve's books. That roar made my heart quicken, rallying strength within me when I felt none. Yet, I feared for him, what he would do in that kind of frenzy. Cullen. Cullen! Maker, Andraste, keep him safe! The hands continued to drag me away from the main hall, through an open courtyard and into a dark room that smelled of death and blood. Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame. Maker, give me strength. Andraste, guide me. Whoever had me by the hair came to my front and grabbed me by the neck once more, shoving me against the wall.

Through the haze of excruciating pain, I saw a cruel smile before that voice spoke again, "At last." Please, help me.

Interesting tidbit:

…

I spent my time awake thinking everything over. What Deshanna had done frightened me, but the why frightened me even more. However, I knew that the Maker would have given me the gifts of a dreamer for a reason. I needed to learn how to wield them properly. I just needed to come up with a plan as to how I would learn. Andraste, guide me. 

"Talitha?" Ellana's voice called, barely more than a whisper.

I blinked and looked around, but I didn't see her. I stood from the bed. "Where are you?" I whispered back.

"The window," she called. I made my way over to where I saw her peek an eye in at me. "I've called a meeting with the advisors so they can meet our family. They'll need placement within the Inquisition, and they should state their reasons for joining to them."

"All right. Do I need to change?" I asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I want you there. You go on ahead to the Chantry; I'll get our family and hide amongst them for cover."

I nodded and waited for her to slip into the shadows before I exited the cabin. I saw Cullen walking through Haven's gates, stifling a yawn, before taking a pull from a metal cup that had steam billowing off the top. "Tired, Commander?" I called.

He jumped a little. When his eyes found mine, though, a soft smile curved his lips. "Just a little, Herald. How did you sleep?"

"I didn't," I shrugged. "Too much on my mind." We continued walking towards the Chantry.

He frowned a little. "I am sorry."

I looked to his cup. "More tea?"

He glanced to his drink before he gave a small smile. "No, thank the Maker. Leliana brought back coffee from Val Royeaux. She knows Josephine is fond of it. The Lady Ambassador was kind enough to offer some to me."

"That was kind of her," I smiled at the joy he seemed to take from such a simple thing. "I get the feeling that Josephine is kind."

"She is," Cullen nodded. "How she can be and yet be such a proficient diplomat and player of the Game is beyond me. One would think they would have eaten her alive."

"Kindness does not equate a lack of cunning," I stated as we entered the war room. I stood on one side of the table as he took a spot in the middle on the other.

"True," he chuckled as he set his things down. He'd had his cup and a few reports tucked under his arm. He blinked and looked around. "It seems we are the first to arrive." He glanced at the closed door before his eyes flicked to me. A smirk curving his lips that made my heart flip as he came around the table. He placed his hands on either side of me as he leaned towards my mouth. "How are you, my darling?" His voice was husky and low, causing my spine to tingle.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. He not moving, keeping his hands where they gripped the table on either side of me. I broke away too soon for my liking, but I didn't want anyone walking in on us. "I am better," I smiled. "Thank you...for last night."

"Of course," he kissed the corner of my mouth, his stubble tickling my cheek. He reached across the table, being careful not to disturb any of the markers as he grabbed his cup, pouring some into a second cup before offering it to me. "Would you like some?"

I smiled at him. "Yes, I would." He leaned against the table as we both drank. With a twitch of my lips I asked, "So, Commander, are you ready to meet my father?"

He choked on his coffee. "Maker's breath," he coughed. I laughed at the nervous look on his face. 

…

"Ma, Da," Ellana began, "These are the Inquisition's advisors." She gestured a hand to each as she introduced them. "Lady Cassandra Pentaghast, Seeker and Right Hand of the Divine. Sister Leliana, Left Hand of the Divine and the Inquisition's Spymaster. Commander Cullen Rutherford, Leader of the Inquisition's Forces and Military Advisor. Lady Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador and Chief Diplomat."

Ellana had snuck in amongst the group, disguised well by so many that looked like her. She'd even put on clothing of the clans, pulling a hood up to hide her hair. The others had worn their hoods, lowering them upon entering the room. As Ellana introduced the advisors, Ma and Da inclined their heads. Their faces were hard to read. Not only theirs, but Mahanon's and nearly all of our siblings’. A few wore their thoughts plainly: Theran and Arlen seemed curious, but Sanar and Laren were openly hostile as they looked at the advisors. Camlen hid behind Ma. 

Ellana turned to our family. "Advisors, this is Feldor, my father; Elolora, my mother; Mahanon, my cousin; Theran, Sanar, Arlen and Camlen, my brothers; and Laren and Fioren, my sisters." 

"Andaran atish’an," Josephine inclined her head as she looked over Ellana and I's family. They all looked to her, their gazes ranging from hard to surprised.

Ma spoke first, "Andaran atish'an, Ambassador." She gave Josephine a small smile. "We thank you for allowing us to camp within your borders and for the care you have taken towards our daughters."

"It is no trouble at all," Josephine assured. "We are eager to welcome the family of Mistress Lavellan."

I looked at the advisors. Cassandra was gauging Mahanon and Laren, spotting the greatest threats of the group; Leliana eyed Theran and Sanar mainly, but seemed to be weighing them all in her mind. Cullen's eyes hardly left my father or mother, his gaze catching on little Fioren slung across Ma's chest whenever he looked at the others. He kept his face professional and focused, no doubt putting duty over curiosity, but I had to fight a smile every time I noticed him stand a little straighter whenever Da looked his way. Josephine's face was the only one that was unreadable to me as I watched her studying them. Ellana seemed tense as she looked between our family and the advisors, her eyes occasionally meeting mine.

"Why do you wish to join us?" Josephine asked, quirking a dark brow, her voice kind. "Would you not prefer to stay with your clan? Mistress Lavellan has already informed us that the clan intends to help with the Breach, if needed, before returning to the Free Marches."

"We wish to stay with our daughters," Da spoke, his voice deep and smooth. "The clan wishes to return to its homeland. The Inquisition seems to be doing its best to set the world right and is accepting of any who wish to see that goal met. We would join you in seeing it done."

"You were the clan's blacksmith, yes?" Cullen asked Da, my heart warming at the fact that he had remembered. "Would you be able to assist in outfitting our troops?"

Da's gaze landed on Cullen, and I couldn't help the slight twist in my gut. What would Da think of him? I knew, ultimately, Da had no say in who I was with; but a part of me was curious to know what he would think of the man that held my heart. I watched as Da studied Cullen, his eyes catching as he looked him over. I followed where his eyes landed and felt my face blanch. His vambraces. I'd never noticed before, but Cullen's vambraces were etched with the Templar Order's symbol. Oh, Maker. I watched as Da's dark eyes focused on the vambraces for a moment longer before they travelled up to Cullen's face. There was no flicker of emotion, no change in him as he met Cullen's eyes. "Aye, Commander. I would. Arlen could assist me, as he's been apprenticing under me for some time now."

"Ellana tells me the Inquisition has mounts and livestock that need tending. I was the clan's keeper of the halla," Ma spoke, her jade eyes bright and her voice soothing. "I could help tend to your animals."

"I am sure Master Dennet would welcome competent help," Cullen nodded to which Ma smiled. Cullen shifted on his feet.

"Are you in charge, shem?" Mahanon spoke, drawing all eyes to himself. "Or is my cousin the one who should be assigning us our places?" His eyes were hard and voice sharp as he addressed Cullen. His gaze kept flicking to Cullen's vambraces as well, anger growing each time it did.

"Mahanon," Ellana glared at him, her tone a warning. 

"Let him speak, sister," Laren hissed at Ellana, her dark eyes angry. "If these shems wish to welcome us, then they should know what they're getting."

Ellana faced Laren, staring her down before looking to Mahanon. "You both are dishonoring me."

"Ir abelas, cousin," Mahanon apologized. "I don't wish to bring you dishonor, but surely you understand our hesitation? The man's a templar." Mahanon jutted his chin at Cullen.

"No, frankly, I do not Mahanon," Ellana argued, crossing her arms over her chest. "You are here because you asked to join. You will not turn around and offend the people who are willing to take you in and give you paid work. The people who raised me—a Dalish mage—to be a figurehead amongst their organization, nay their religion. I may not have wanted to be part of the Inquisition at first, but now I am wholly devoted to its cause, differences in faiths aside. They seek to restore order and help the innocent caught up in this chaos when no one else is willing to.

“Mark or no Mark, I continue to stay of my own free will because it is the right thing to do. You will show the people who have brought this organization about proper respect. You may have issues with humans and templars, but if you are joining the Inquisition then you will set that aside. We are all part of the Inquisition, no matter who we are or where we came from before." I was shocked by Ellana's statement. I'd known to some degree her feelings, but she had not said it so plainly to me. Ellana waved a hand in the advisors' direction. "I have seen enough of their character and the character of many within this organization—of all backgrounds and beliefs—to know that they are worthy of my respect...and yours. Save your vile for the Inquisition's enemies."

Mahanon and Laren exchanged a glance. "Ma nuvenin, cousin," Mahanon gave a curt nod as he met Ellana's stare again.

Ellana looked to Laren, who could have also been our twin, but for her dark eyes and more angular features. "Ma nuvenin, sister."

"Do not insult them again," Ellana ordered before turning back to the advisors who had been exchanging glances during Ellana, Mahanon and Laren's argument.

Cullen cleared his throat. "And...the rest of you? What are your skills?"

"I was the leader of the clan's hunters," Mahanon stated, his voice cold, but not outright hostile as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm adept at hunting, scouting, tracking and I'm proficient in the use of a bow and daggers."

"I was a hunter under Mahanon," Theran stated, his voice rich. He looked the most like Da, dark hair and eyes. He was just a couple years younger than Ellana and I. "Proficient with a bow, but no good with daggers."

"As was I," Sanar spoke. He favored Ma with jade eyes and lighter hair; he was only a year younger than Theran. "I can scout and track about as well as Mahanon."

"I was second to our chief protector. I am trained to wield a sword and shield," Laren voiced, her eyes still fierce as she looked the advisors over. Laren was just over twenty. "I was known for my ferocity in skirmishes."

"As my father said, I am his apprentice. I work the forge," Arlen spoke. He had Da's eyes, but Ma's lighter hair and fairer skin. He was three years younger than Theran.

"Camlen and Fioren are obviously too young to have any skill sets," Ma spoke, her voice gentle. "Beyond eating and sleeping," she offered a chuckle, trying to ease the tension in the room. Camlen peeked a jade eye out, his ebony curls falling into his face as he peered up at everyone. He quickly hid behind Ma's legs again.

Cullen nodded, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Thank you, we will discuss amongst ourselves the best places for you."

"I will return with them," Ellana announced as she ushered our family out the door. They all pulled their hoods up again before Ellana followed suit and hid amongst them once more. The door groaned closed and for a moment there was only silence. 

"Is...there anything I can do, Mistress Lavellan?" Josephine asked, her voice kind.

I met her dark eyes and gave her a weak smile. "That's as warm an introduction as I could expect. Ellana said her piece and her words were wise. The rest will take time." I contemplated for a moment. "They need to come to understand what Ellana said: we are all the Inquisition. It's up to them if they're willing to set aside their issues or not."

They all nodded in agreement as they took their spots around the map of Thedas. They'd been crammed on one side while we'd taken the other. I looked over the map; more markers littered its surface spreading from Ferelden over to Orlais and even up into the Free Marches. There were stacks of reports, the writ that had been the foundation of the Inquisition, quills, a pitcher of water with goblets and numerous other things added to the main table since the last time I had been inside the "War Room". I glanced at each advisor, who in turn were looking at me expectantly.

"What is left to plan before we go after aid?" I asked, my eyes falling on each of them.

"Everything should be in place," Leliana began, "It's just going over the final details."

"How are we going to handle the Herald?" Cullen quirked a brow. "I assume you have a plan?"

"The people of the Inquisition know that the Herald intends to go after aid," Leliana glanced at the map. "As to who or when, we've kept any concrete information from being discovered. The people are split as to who they would prefer to see aid us, but I would say it leans heavily in the Templars' favor. While the faithful are infuriated that the Templars abandoned their duties, they would still rather have templars among us than the rebel mages." Leliana made a face that said she disagreed with this mentality. "Alexius and the nobles of Orlais expect the Herald to meet them, to be a voice in negotiations. The hardest part will be getting you both to your destinations with no one the wiser as to our ruse. That said, I doubt anyone will truly care once the Breach has been sealed permanently."

"We hope permanently, anyway," Cullen sighed.

"It will work, Cullen," Cassandra assured. "I know it."

A thought occurred to me. "Wh-what if this kills E-me? It almost did the last time."

They all stopped short and met my eyes. Cullen spoke first. "With aid, I predict that there will be less of a burden placed upon you. The Templars will essentially suppress the magic of the Breach while the mages lend their mana to you. It will not be a repeat of our previous attempt, but alas we cannot fully predict the outcome. As to the risks, you've previously stated that you understand and have accepted them." Meaning Ellana.  

"Of course," I met his eyes.

"We are getting ahead of ourselves," Leliana warned. "Do we have all we need to address the Lord Seeker, Josie?"

"We do," the woman nodded as she looked over her board. "Lord Abernache assures that he and the other nobles will arrive in South Reach a day or two before the set date. They will gather there, rest and then press on to Therinfal where the Herald will meet them. Together, the Herald, her escorts and the nobles will demand the Lord Seeker fulfill his duty lest he risk the ire of Orlais."

"South Reach?" Cullen questioned, his hands going to his sword pommel as he turned to look at Josephine. "When was that decided?"

"During my correspondence with Lord Abernache," Josephine informed him. "It is the city closest to Therinfal and large enough that the nobles may find accommodations that suit their needs. You informed us of your intentions to accompany the Herald 'no matter what', has that changed?"

"N-No," Cullen shook his head.

"Good," Josephine pinned him down with a look before flicking her eyes to me. "As for Alexius, we've confirmed the Herald will meet with him at Redcliffe Castle. The trouble we run into is the difference in travel time. It takes nearly a week to get to Therinfal on horseback from Haven; it only takes four days to arrive in Redcliffe."

"Let me worry about that," Leliana offered. "This plan is contingent on both meetings taking place on the same day, otherwise word could be sent or spread as to our duplicity. The date is set, its just getting our people in place in time. We will all leave together, but the party meant to address the mages will hideout until the day of the envoy which is when your party will reach Therinfal."

"And who are these parties going to be comprised of?" I asked.

"The Herald, Leliana and her agents, Solas, Blackwall and Dorian will be attending the envoy, though Dorian will sneak through with Leliana’s agents," Cullen informed me. "Ser Dorian wishes to address his former mentor and call him back to sanity, if possible. Cassandra, Lady Vivienne, Varric, and I will be going to Therinfal."

"Varric and Vivienne have already gone ahead to South Reach," Leliana added. "Vivienne to entertain the nobles and see to their accommodations. Varric to meet with a contact before meeting you. Sera and the Chargers will not be accompanying us as they have their own tasks to see to."

"What tasks are those?" I quirked a brow. "They had no interest in going after aid?"

"Sera has Jenny business to see to, while the Chargers are assisting in chasing down a lead from one of Bull's Ben-Hasserath reports," Leliana replied. "Their tasks were pressing and we believed the parties were balanced enough without adding Sera or Bull."

"What is my place in this?" I asked.

"That has already been planned," Leliana met my eyes. "I simply need you to fulfill your role."

"That's not cryptic at all," I chuckled.

Leliana gave a slight smirk. "The less who know the details of the full plan the better."

"I understand," I shrugged. 

"So long as she is not being used as bait for another assassin without her knowledge?" Cullen bit at Leliana.

Leliana glared daggers at Cullen. "Have your men sufficiently beaten the villa into submission for its repairs, Commander?"

Cassandra made a disgusted snort, her lip curling, "Enough."

Cullen and Leliana glared at each other a moment longer before returning their eyes to me. "I should be in here more often." They all chuckled in response. 

"While we have you here, there are a few things we'd like your opinion on," Josephine offered. "We have been informed that your recommendations are to be taken as the Herald’s recommendations." 

"She...said that?" I asked, astonished. Josephine gave a nod and smile in response. "Alright, let's see what you've got."

We were locked within the War Room for a few hours as we discussed where to place my family members and how to handle certain issues facing the Inquisition. People looking to slander us; people asking for the Inquisition to intervene in their familial or political squabbles; things of possible interest to the Inquisition; mysteries no one else was looking into and so many other matters, my head began to spin a little. How does Ellana deal with all this?

"It's a lot to take in," Cullen spoke at one point, his eyes on my face and a sympathetic smile on his lips.

"It is." I nodded.

"I fear it is only going to grow in quantity," Josephine sighed. "We will have to come up with a different system for dealing with everything. We cannot remain locked in a room looking over every single report together. Our meetings should consist of the most important and weighty of issues, that cannot be decided upon without discussion. We should consider hiring personal aides for each of us?" Her eyes went to Leliana.

"I agree, but I would see them be my agents—those I trust. I will think on names for each of you and let you decide," Leliana offered. "Anyone who will be dealing directly with us or our documents must be trusted individuals. Spies are inevitable, we must fill the most vulnerable gaps with the most trusted people."

"Speaking of spies," Cullen interjected, "The Herald had an idea of placing Seeker Trevelyan amongst your people, Leliana."

"Seekers are trained to investigate and to filter out corruption," Cassandra offered. "Trevelyan seems a capable woman and well-liked by people. She would be suited to pulling information out with none being the wiser."

"Not to mention that her Seeker abilities would make for excellent interrogation tools," Leliana mused. "I will speak with the woman and ascertain if she is a good fit. Thank you, Commander."

"Thank the Herald," he nodded in my direction to which Leliana inclined her head. "Another matter, I'm afraid. A few of our workers fell through an abandoned mining shaft up near the main trebuchet. They sustained several injuries, but one was able to search around the shaft trying to find a way out. He said it bared little similarities to any mine he'd ever seen. Do we want to close it up or leave it open to investigate further after we seal the Breach?"

"Leave it open, but sure up the opening so no one else falls in accidentally," Leliana offered. "It sounds like it's worth investigating."

"We should warn the workers of the opening as well," Josephine stated. "We don't want any more harm to befall them."

"I will see it done." Cullen nodded. 

"Have you determined where we're going to put the templars and mages when they come?" I asked. "Beyond that, how are we going to handle things when they realize they've been deceived?"

"How will they know they were deceived?" Leliana asked, clasping her hands behind her back. "We never made promises that we would not seek out the aid of both parties to the mages or templars. We simply promised to send you to them."

"That's my point. Surely, they will realize there were two Heralds?" I quirked a brow. "Will not our entire plan be foiled at that point?"

"Not at all," Leliana shook her head. "They may figure out there were two Heralds, but they will still not know who the second Herald is or which of you is which. As I said before, if they're angry or threaten to withhold aid, we will take the leaders of both groups aside and explain our situation. I doubt the Templars know anything of the Venatori or the Elder One that Ser Dorian spoke of; if the mages know, that would also be a surprise. From the reports of Redcliffe, there is a general sense of unease and distrust, but there has been no mention of the cultists or their leader." Leliana handed me copies of the reports.

"And you believe that will be enough to placate them?" I asked.

"We need both groups," Leliana urged. "If they cannot set aside their current squabble to address the hole in the sky, understanding that we had to keep you safe from the obvious trap that was Alexius as well as petition the Templars’ help without them knowing we were also petitioning the mages’, then they are unworthy of our help. Both have backed themselves into inescapable corners. They will accept our terms, accept how our alliances came to be or they can try to regain the trust of the people of Thedas without us—without sealing the Breach. An impossibility, but they can try." I gave her a nod. 

"As to accommodations," Josephine began, "The Commander and I had a few ideas." Josephine was looking over her board. "You were saying something about...Cullen?"

I had been looking over the reports Leliana handed me but flicked my eyes up to Cullen at Josephine's words. His eyes had been on me, a small smile on his face. When Josephine spoke his name, however, it brought him out of his reverie.

"Hmm? I, ah-Yes," Cullen cleared his throat, his cheeks pinking a little. I couldn't help a small blush. Cullen unfolded a bit of parchment where he'd drawn ideas for building barracks for the templars and mages and spread out a map of the Inquisition's camp in Haven. "Haven has limited space. Perhaps we could set up something over here." Cullen pointed at a spot on Haven's map in the clearing beyond the hut Minaeve and I had been using.

"I will speak with our builders," Josephine offered, scratching a few notes onto her parchment.

"Now, is there anything else?" Leliana asked the others.

"I believe those were the most pressing matters," Josephine offered.

"Then I suggest we gather our parties and get on the road," Leliana ordered. "Time is now of the essence. We have ten days until our meetings are to take place."

…

Before leaving, I asked Minaeve to request any information or books she could get on the Fade, dreamer mages and blood magic. I knew any books on blood magic would only speak to its dangers, but if one held a clue, it could still be helpful. With the Inquisition resources growing, however, I hoped I could get more useful information. She promised to do her best. Once we had all of our people together, it was a hard ride to the Hinterlands. The days were spent pressing the horses to their limit, mud flying and the cold winds whipping at our faces. The nights were spent camping in the open air, not wanting to waste precious daylight setting up and tearing down a camp. Solas and I would setup wards surrounding our group to keep everyone dry and warm. Dried meat and hard cheese rations were passed around for meals. As soon as dawn broke, we'd be on the road once more. We were able to shave half a day's ride off our travel time with the efficiency. We'd slowed as we passed through the Crossroads, following the King's Road to the villa. Cullen had brought his horse close to mine. He pointed out all the changes that had been made since I'd last been in the Hinterlands: new homes, repairs, Fort Connor was being restored, bridges that had been fixed and the like. I'd stared longingly at Dennet's land as we passed, wishing to check in on Elaina and little Meira, but knew I couldn't.   I felt Cullen's leg brush against mine, guessing he'd done it on purpose to offer me comfort. He wasn't looking at me, instead looking to the watchtower. To any onlookers it would have appeared as if his horse simply got too close to mine before he corrected it. He'd urged his horse forward as he did to resume his position leading the recruits. He looked good atop a horse, as if he were born to it.   Progress was slow through the forest; the road winding, rocky and hilled, but I admired the beauty of the trees around us. I itched for my sketchbook to draw it all, but I'd have to sketch what I could from memory when I was finally able to draw again. The trees would be my favorite to capture, the way they stretched to the sky, the sun dappled on the ground from the thickness of the canopy. Large hills grew out of the ground as we reached the center of the forest, but there was a clear path that led us through the landscape. I could only guess the path led to the villa and whoever had built it intended for any visitors to have the best views of the forest. Soon, the trees opened up to the villa.   I understood why it was called the “Grand Forest Villa”, as it was a massive structure that seemed to have been birthed by the forest itself. Cullen was right in the architecture being unusual. Whoever had designed it had wanted it to be a part of the landscape instead of the landscape bowing to the structure. A waterfall cut through part of the villa and fed a large lake on one side, while the other was set into the rocky incline of a hill. Much of the architecture was open air at the top as if to allow the owner to see the forest at all times, but below were the more traditional stone walls of Ferelden architecture.   We made our way along the path, crossed the wooden bridge over the lake, up the incline and through the portcullis. Within, the villa was bustling with activity. Soldiers, scouts, and agents were all seeing to their business as the pounding of a blacksmith's hammer and the neighing of horses could be heard over the noise of the voices. As we entered, the activity stopped so the soldiers could give a salute...to me. I returned the salute and everyone returned to their duties.

"Welcome to Grand Forest, Herald," Vale's voice spoke to my left. "We're glad to have you with us."

"I'm glad to be here, Corporal," I nodded. I dismounted my horse as a stableboy held the reins. 

"I'm to speak with the Commander, but Kathryn there will show you and your party to the guest quarters." Vale pointed to an attendant who stepped forward to offer a bow. "We were informed to expect you for several nights while you see to business in the area."

"Forgive the intrusion, Corporal, I hope we do not impose upon you for any longer than necessary," I offered.

"It's no imposition," he shook his head. "Word of your coming has given my men a morale boost and put a little spring in their step. Stay as long as you need."

"Thank you, Corporal," I inclined my head as he saluted. 

He and Cullen went off with the recruits Cullen had brought along to be stationed here while the rest of us were shown to our quarters. Kathryn gave us a brief tour, informing us of when meals were served and how things generally worked within the keep. She hinted that the upper levels were not in as much use as the rest of the villa if we wanted to find solace there.    We thanked her for her help and headed for our rooms. Despite their location near the waterfall, it could not be heard nor were the stones wet as we walked the hallway of the guest chambers. I entered my room and nearly shouted out as a cloaked figure rushed me. They put a hand over my mouth before speaking. 

"Hush, sister," Ellana's voice whispered. "It's me."

"What are you—" I began. I looked her over; she was dressed as one of Leliana's agents.

She held a finger to her lips and nodded her head towards the bed. Leliana sat perched on the edge with her legs crossed. When Ellana nodded to her, Leliana gracefully stood and waved for us to follow. My brows shot up as she opened a hidden passageway and slipped inside. Ellana led the way and I followed.  The passageway was tight and curved sharply as it spiraled downwards. Eventually, it opened up to a cavern where the only light came from torches, and the roar of the waterfall filled my ears as it hid the cavern from onlookers. Leliana continued on, pressing close to the carved rock so she wouldn't fall into the water held within a reservoir. Slipping inside a door set within the rock, she finally stopped. The room was comfortable and seemed to have been a place of study at one time as bookcases filled the majority of it along with various instruments and a large desk. 

"Where are we?" I asked.

"This villa is fraught with secrets, and this was one of the few that my agent stationed here has ferreted out," Leliana explained. "It works perfectly for our current need."

"Which is?" I quirked a brow.

"Ellana needs to become the Herald, while you will assume the role of a prisoner to be escorted to South Reach for trial by Cullen and Cassandra."

"A prisoner? And why Cullen and Cassandra?" I asked.

"Yes, the Inquisition has been seeing to crimes occurring in the area and imprisoning perpetrators to hold them until their respective cities are ready to see to their punishment," Leliana stated. "We are, after all, a peacekeeping organization. As for it being Cullen and Cassandra, to make it look official and under the pretense that they are meeting with the Arl of South Reach."

"Is there a prisoner who actually needs to be taken to South Reach?" I asked as I began removing my armor.

"Yes," Leliana replied cryptically. "But they will be served their justice."

My eyes widened as I looked at the woman. "You'll...have them killed?"

"Your sister won't allow it, but I found a more useful means for them," Leliana shrugged. "They will be moved from their cell shortly, so you must get dressed to take their place before the guard rotation concludes." Leliana gestured to a pile of rough spun fabric. "You'll remove your wig and wear your natural hair down. We'll need to dirty you up and apply grease to your hair so it hangs in your face. It won't be a pleasant experience, but it'll do the trick."

"Do I look like this prisoner?" I asked.

"Why else do you think this will work?" Leliana quirked a brow. "She is an elf from the alienage in South Reach, dark hair, olive skin; beyond that, no one really remembers what she looks like."

"Is there a secret passage to the cells?" Ellana asked as she removed her disguise and donned the Herald’s armor.

Leliana gave a nod in response. "They weren't cells before, but we needed a place to hold prisoners."

I paused as I was finishing dressing. "Am I...to stay in the cell until it's time for Cullen and Cassandra to take me?"

"Yes, is that a problem?" Leliana asked.

"Yes." I replied, my voice strangled. "I-I can't do that."

"I need you to," Leliana searched my face, her own expressionless.

"Leliana, I cannot do that," I emphasized, my bowels turning to water. "I will...go mad if you force me to stay in a cell."

Her blue eyes were cold and calculating as they bored into mine. "I understand, but your sister's hair will give her away. It must be you."

I began breathing quickly. "Please, please don't."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to Ellana. "You can do this, Talitha," she encouraged.

"No, no I can't," I begged. "I can't be in a place I—where I know there is no escape. Don't ask this."

Leliana and Ellana looked at each other. Ellana's eyes became pleading as she looked at the spymaster, who in turn was studying me. After several moments she blinked. "Very well." She stood and clasped her hands behind her back. "You will become one of my scouts until we're ready to move the prisoner. You will have to be in the cell for a small amount of time, but I won't ask you to be in there overnight. Dress in your sister's disguise and wait here while I pass word on. Herald, return to your room through the passage we used." Leliana swept from the room.

"I'm sorry, Talitha," Ellana apologized. "I should have asked you first."

"It's not your fault," I offered as my heart's pounding began to ease. "I just...can't." I pulled on the uniform.

"I should have realized," Ellana murmured.

"I'm just glad Leliana was willing to shift her plans," I bit my lip. "I didn't think she would."

"She may slowly be realizing that harsh routes are not always the route to take." Ellana gave me a quick hug and then slipped out the door.

Leliana returned shortly. "A minor inconvenience, but we will see the same end result. I apologize for not taking your situation into consideration."

I blinked in surprise, "Thank you."

She nodded. "Alright, Talitha, follow me." Leliana led me to another entrance at the back of the study room and had me follow her up a steep passageway. Once we came to a stop, she turned to me. "When you exit, do not hesitate, just walk. Don't look back or around. You will assist the other agents until I have word sent to you that it’s time."

I nodded and took a deep breath before she slid the passage open just enough to slip out. I walked forward and kept walking, noticing that a few bodies moved close to me and shepherded me along. I did as Leliana instructed and blended in with the group. The day was spent being shuffled around, though I was occasionally asked to run notes to Vale or Cullen. Neither recognized me, though I could hardly blame them as I scratched at the fabric that covered nearly all of my face for the hundredth time. How do Leliana's people handle these ridiculous things?   I stayed with them through meals and into the evening, going to the barracks where they slept. The next day, I awoke and followed them through their routines until I felt something shoved into my hand. I continued with the group until we stopped. Taking a moment to look at the note, it instructed me to go to the same secret passageway that Leliana had led me out of in one hour. I waited until we were on the move again and then made my way there. It opened just enough for me to slip inside.

Following Leliana to the study room, she had me dress in the rough spun clothing, dirtied me up. She led me through a maze of passageways to the entrance at the back of the cell. "Cullen will be here for you in an hour," she whispered before opening the door.

The prisoner was already gone as I stepped inside and I did my best to keep my breathing steady. I sat on the cot and focused on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, keeping my eyes closed. I could feel that other cell, hear his voice and goosebumps erupted in anticipation of Alrik coming to torture me. Maker, though the darkness comes upon me, I shall embrace the Light. I shall weather the storm. I shall endure. What you have created, no one can tear asunder.    I spoke that part of the Chant over and over again in my mind as I waited for Cullen to come. Breathe in, breathe out. Forty-five minutes. Chant. Breathe in, breathe out. Thirty minutes. Chant. I continued like that until the minutes wound down.

"This is she?" Cullen's voice spoke and I let out a breath.

"Yes, ser," the soldier confirmed. "The murdering thief to be taken to South Reach."

"Let's get her out and her wrists bound, soldier," Cullen instructed.

"Right away, ser," the soldier replied. I listened to the shuffling of feet, a key being slid into a lock, the click and groan of the door as it opened. The soldier made their way in and roughly pulled me from the cot before throwing me forward. "Get a move on, knife-ear."

"Soldier," Cullen barked, causing the soldier stiffened. "We may have prisoners, but you will treat them honorably—without derogatory terms. We are the Inquisition, not a group of disreputable individuals. Conduct yourself as such or see yourself dismissed."

"Yes, ser," the soldier nodded. His grip on my arm eased as he led me out the cell.

Cullen took my wrists and bound them, the tie loose, but only just enough. "This way," he said as he turned his back on me.

  The soldier prodded me along, up and out of the lower levels of the villa. Cullen led us to where Cassandra and three horses were waiting. Cullen assisted me up onto what would be my horse, his grip tightening for just a moment before he released me. He tied my hands to the horn of the saddle before tying my horse to his. He and Cassandra both saddled up then, their horses ladened with large saddle bags. Vale and a few others offered a salute as we rode out of the villa.  Cullen and Cassandra talked quietly as we worked our way back to the Crossroads, past Redcliffe and onto the Imperial Highway. There, a hard pace was set, and I felt a little jarred by not being in control of my horse, but we had to keep up appearances in case we were stopped along the road.

Once we were well away from any towns and had not run into any travelers for a time, they slowed our pace. I took the opportunity to pose a question that I had been wanting to ask the two of them. "We are heading into templar territory. I know it's to negotiate, but if something should happen...how does a mage face a templar? Could I defeat one?" They looked back at me a moment before looking at each other.

"It can be done," Cassandra began, though her voice was hesitant. "Mages and templars battling would be more a battle of wills, if we're strictly speaking of their abilities. A mage would need to stay at range, not allowing the templar to get close."

"A templar's abilities must be performed within fairly close quarters," Cullen added. "Beyond that, they must hope there's a good archer among them that can strike true once the mage has depleted their mana stores."

"And if a templar does get close?" I asked.

"Then, as I said, it is a battle of wills, but only if the mage can fend off a templar's physical attacks," Cassandra replied. "If your average templar were facing an accomplished mage, the mage would probably have a stronger willpower with which to cast than the templar has to reinforce reality."

"'Reinforce reality'?" I wondered aloud. "What do you mean?"

"Really, do mages know nothing of how templars work?" Cassandra question, exasperatedly.

"That is somewhat the point, Cassandra," Cullen chuckled. "If they knew, what good would templars be?"

"Some had to figure it out or we wouldn't be where we are now." Cassandra retorted.

"Indeed," Cullen agreed before looking back towards me. "A templar's abilities come from lyrium, this you know, but what that does most mages do not fully understand. I doubt many templars fully understand it either, to be honest. A mage accesses the Fade to work their magic, reshaping reality by manipulating their mana. A templar and the lyrium within them blocks a mage's access to the Fade by reinforcing the reality of the world—the solidness of the world becomes an inarguable fact. A stubborn world now becomes impossible for the mage to reshape. Spells cannot be cast and mana cannot be manipulated because the Fade has been essentially closed off."

"But if you have a mage that can push against that stubbornness, that through sheer will can force the world to bend to their whims," Cassandra interjected, "they could overcome a templar's abilities. A Seeker would be a tougher opponent as we can affect the lyrium within their bodies, which would be far harder to fight against by will alone."

"So, if their wills cancel each other out, then it comes to physical skill?" I asked.

"Yes and no," Cullen answered. "Essentially it would be a draw of a match, if they are of equal willpower. A mage could use their magic; a templar could use their abilities—while also being essentially immune to magic—until one or the other is worn down. Templars have a limit just as mages do. Then it would come down to physical skill."

"’Immune to magic’? Y-You're immune to magic? Then how...what about...blood magic?" I asked, my voice hesitant.

Cassandra shot a glare at me. "Why do you ask?"

"I would never use it, Cassandra," I assured. "I just...I'm trying to understand." Cullen had gone a little pale and I cursed myself internally. "Never mind, forget I asked."

"Bl-Blood magic is...different," Cullen began, to Cassandra and I's surprise. "Templars can still defeat it, but only before it is cast. Once blood magic is within the world, it is next to impossible to dispel it. This is because a mage is not drawing from the Fade for their power, but from life itself. It is still magic, but...the source of its power is far harder to fight against because it's not reshaping reality in the same way. Blood is physical, so therefore what is being manipulated is physical, to some degree, as well. If you can stop it when it is more magic than blood, it dispels the magic. Once the manipulation is complete, however, there is no easy reversal of it." 

"It is a horrid magic. I care not about the ‘who’ or ‘why’ it is wielded," Cassandra growled.

"I have only ever known wielders of blood magic to be nefarious individuals, using it for evil or selfish ends," I agreed. 

"As for the immunity I meant," Cullen continued, "Templars can resist magic. What magic would mortally wound your average person, a templar can—generally—survive with little injury. Though, it doesn't matter if you have magical resistance or not, getting singed with a fireball still hurts. I've the scars to prove it." He chuckled.

"So, as I understand it, in a match between a templar and a mage it comes down to proximity and willpower," I voiced. "Whoever can better bend reality to their will—whether to change it or reinforce it—would defeat the other, if physical skill doesn't come into play. If it does, then the mage best be able to match the templar or wear them down enough to escape. Let the mage hope they only face a templar and not a Seeker, if the mage is using lyrium. Does that sound right?"

"It does," Cullen nodded. "The other option, though very difficult to master, would be for the mage to purge their mana from their bodies, thus rendering templar abilities mostly useless. As I said though, a very difficult skill to master and even then, it only lasts a short time."

"I could spar with you in the future, using only templar abilities, if you'd like to test your willpower?" Cassandra asked me.

"That would be useful," I nodded to Cassandra. "What about you, Cullen?"

Cullen shifted in his saddle. "I...could not do that to you." He met my gaze. "A physical spar or even one where you use your magic, I do not mind. I ask that you do not put me through the pain of using templar abilities on you."

"I-Of course," I looked away from him. "Forgive me for asking, I shouldn't have."

"It is alright," he murmured. "As it is, I...have promised myself not to use my abilities. I left the Order. Therefore, I left those abilities with them."

I met his eyes. "I understand."

…

When we stopped for the night, Cullen and Cassandra set up a small camp after Cullen gently removed my restraints. I noticed there were only two tents and felt my gut twist. I set the campfire that was built aflame with a little effort and set wards about the camp. We were able to take our time as we'd gotten to the villa sooner than we'd anticipated. Cullen returned to me, his tasks done; he took my hand in his as he led us near the fire. We sat, not quite together, but not quite apart either. His gloved thumbs massaged my skin where the ties were, an apologetic look in his eyes.

"I am glad to see you two together," Cassandra murmured as she studied us from her spot. I blushed as Cullen shot her a scowl. "Truly, it is...it brings a warmth to my heart."

"Thank you, Cassandra," I murmured before meeting her dark eyes. "And...thank you."

She gave a soft smile. "You are welcome." Her gaze flicked to Cullen. "I will give you two some time alone," she spoke as she stood, her food eaten, heading for her tent.

"You don't have to do that, Cassandra," I urged, despite the butterflies flickering in my stomach as Cullen resumed rubbing my wrists. She turned her head back to meet my eyes, and I could have sworn I saw silver lining them. Her lips twisted into a half-smile before she ducked inside her tent.

I blinked and met Cullen's gaze. My heart stuttered at what they held as he scooted me closer to him, curving his body around mine. He placed a gloved hand on my cheek, his thumb running along my cheekbone. "How are you, my darling?" His voice was quiet and low.

"In desperate need of a bath," I groaned. He let out a breathy chuckle. "I am...nervous. I have no idea what to expect. What about you?"

He studied my eyes. "You will be fine. Cassandra and I are with you. Varric and Vivienne will be there as well. None of us will let anything happen to you." He looked away from me. "I will admit I am...not keen on being amongst the Order again, but if there are templars willing to aide us—as they should be—then I am willing to go try and convince them to join the Inquisition's cause. The templar that sent word to me sounds like an honorable man; one I wish more templars would emulate."

"What's his name?" I asked as I fiddled with his hair. It was soft and thick between my fingers. I could feel the remnants of something on the strands—no doubt whatever he used to tame his curls.

"Ser Delrin Barris," Cullen said. "Fereldan, second son of Bann Barris, a noble family to the northeast near Lake Calenhad." He chuckled to himself. "I did a little research into him and his family. Apparently, on his first assignment as a templar he led his men to victory against a horde comprised of blood mages, their thralls and a pride demon while keeping innocent bystanders from harm. Quite impressive, I dare say. Aside from his own merits, the man is descended from a few notable knights."

We continued to talk about various lighthearted things, sharing a few laughs as we even recounted some days within the Circle. Silence fell after a while and we descended into kisses, sweet nothings and holding each other.

"Cullen?" I breathed, my voice husky as he'd begun kissing my cheeks, my nose, everywhere, but my lips. 

"Hmm?" he hummed, the sound tickling my skin where his lips touched. 

"Should we turn in for the night?" I murmured. "Am-am I...are we...there's only two tents."

He froze where he was as I started speaking, his lips pressed just under my earlobe. Slowly, he backed away, his cheeks a little pink. He cleared his throat, not meeting my eyes as his blush deepened. "C-Cassandra said she laid out a bedroll for you in her tent." 

I gently turned his face to me, his gaze bashful as his eyes finally met mine. I kissed him gently. "Then I bid you goodnight...my knight."

He smiled at that, his eyes sparkling a little. "Goodnight, my darling."

…

We came to South Reach the day before we were to meet at Therinfal. Once we were within sight of the city walls, Cassandra called us off the road. She informed us that Vivienne and Varric had escorted the nobles onwards to Therinfal, where we would meet them. I was to remain in disguise until we left the city to avoid drawing attention, but instead of a prisoner, I would don the garb of an Inquisition recruit. She pulled a uniform out of one of her horse’s saddlebags, which included a wig comprised of mahogany hair and I quickly changed. 

"We will get a room at the local inn where you can bathe," she stated. "We'll room there for the night and then head out at dawn. Once past the city, you'll dress as the Herald."

We headed into the city, alive with activity. It was huge compared to Haven and I was a little overwhelmed by the size and the crowds. We passed a market where all kinds of wares were being sold. I noticed the entrance to the elven alienage and several shops and inns dotting the main square. Despite Cullen and Cassandra's imposing presences, hardly anyone paid us any mind.  We made our way to the inn that Leliana had instructed, got two rooms and made our way up. Cassandra let me bathe in private as she and Cullen visited. Leliana had used dust and dirt to grime up my skin and oils to grease my hair; I hadn't smelled, thankfully, but I was dirty.  As I bathed, I wondered how Cullen felt about being so close to his siblings. He hadn't brought it up, but I could tell it was on his mind. He would put the Inquisition first, but I had no doubt a part of him wanted to see if he could locate them; as much as a part of him didn't. He feared what they would think of the man he was now and had been in Kirkwall. Though I could make no claim as to his siblings thinking, from what he had told me, I guessed they would simply be happy to see their brother again. The rest would work itself out in time. It was not my place though, so I would wait until he wanted to talk about it.

I felt reborn after bathing. Donning the wig, tunic, pants and boots of my uniform, I left the room to knock on Cullen's door. Cassandra came to open it, stepping back to let me in before turning to say to Cullen, "Think on it, Cullen. It is your decision, however."

Cullen gave her a hard look before she left, but it softened as his eyes met mine. "Did the bath help?"

"It did," I smiled. “I feel like a new person. What was Cassandra talking about?"

"We were discussing how best to handle the templars once they're with us," he replied.

"I see," I studied his face. "I just wanted to say goodnight."

He stood from the chair he’d occupied, his movements graceful despite his size. He'd removed his armor, now down to his tunic, pants and boots. His eyes didn't leave mine before, quick as lightning, he took me in his arms, tipping my chin as he crashed his lips against mine. The kiss was passionate, urgent and eager. His lips bordered on demanding, but I could feel him reining himself in as he kept them from pressing too hard.  I welcomed the change from his gentle kisses, though refrained from winding my hands into his hair lest I draw a moan from him again. At my response, he turned my head to slant his mouth over mine, deepening the kiss, before pressing us against the door. His hands were strong as they moved from my hips, up to my waist before he wound his arms around me.  As warmth pooled in my gut, I pressed my hands along the hard curve of his back, clenching his tunic in my fists as I reached his shoulders. I pulled myself closer to him. The smell of him, his heat and the hard ridges of his body started to light a fire in my belly. He broke away and began pressing kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I started breathing quickly, my heart pounding against my chest, but I couldn't tell if I enjoyed the kisses along my neck or not as my stomach quivered.

"Cullen," I whimpered.

He froze. Gently, he brought his hands back to my waist. Pressing his forehead against mine, he caressed my nose with the tip of his own. "I am—"

"If you say you're sorry, I will be sorely disappointed," I breathed.

"Not sorry, then," he chuckled. "Forgive me if that was...too much."

"I enjoyed it," I admitted. "But I'd say for now, avoid kissing my neck."

He screwed his eyes closed as if not wanting to see something. "Of course, I—"

"You don't need to apologize," I held his face in my hands. "This is going to be...trial and error, I'm afraid."

He met my eyes from beneath his dark lashes. "As long as you are willing to bear with my fumbling."

I chuckled. "Happily, my knight."

"Maker's breath," he groaned. I laughed again and planted a kiss on his cheek. He turned back to me, giving me a peck on the nose before straightening.

We said goodnight before I left his room to join Cassandra. In the morning, we ate quickly before packing and pressing on to Therinfal. We stopped off the road once we'd exited the city so I could become the Herald. Once my disguise was in place, we pressed hard for the Redoubt, nerves and unease growing in my gut the closer we got.