That poetry bloke

I convinced myself for way too long,

perhaps hopeful, perhaps wrong.

But finally it felt distinctly clear

that me, myself and I,

convinced no more,

that love was not to be believed.

And then that dark and truthful day,

it dawned on me,

that perhaps I was indeed mistakenly wrong,

That actually, it is love

that did not believe in me.

10.5.26

Is one supposed to dedicate a life

to loneliness,

It sure feels that way.

It appears there’s nowt can do

whilst endlessly trying to fill days,

with superficial false promises of hope

that some activity mundane or not

will fill the void of solitude.

6.4.26

I hear birds,

feel the warmth of the sun

and day dreaming under the spring haze

that enters through the windows

lightening up my day.

21.3.26

Restock

Reload

Reflect

Aim higher

Shoot

Go

4.3.26

I didn’t want to cry today,

but I did anyway.

I could feel it slowly approaching,

throughout the day, avoiding.

Played music to distract me,

wrong choice, wrong lyrics,

wrong fucking vinyl.

Want to finish the book,

gave myself that task. Easy.

Wrong.

Found mundane task to complete,

brief but pleasant interlude.

Fighting, fighting.

She doesn’t call anymore.

Does anyone anyways.

The book. The ending unexpected.

Three glasses of bubbly by myself

Just let it go.

Stop fighting. Let it go.

Cry

I’ll cry if I want to.

8/2/26

Una cosita de tu vida,

una cosita de mi vida,

una cosita de nuestras vidas,

una cosita que se acaba.

A little piece of your life,

a little piece of mine,

a little piece of our lives,

a little piece that ends in time.

8.11.25

There was a time before you and the after.

The space between time and time

a blur of emotional responses

completely out of my sane control.

M you were the one that was meant to be

like indelible ink on a page of

a love story that never ends

But now lives its own journey on and on.

Two hearts that collided, bleeding as they said goodbye.

M it wouldn’t do us justice to never have loved.

To not have all the pain forever

but I still wouldn’t trade those seven years to have nothing at all.

So many years you still dominate my mind, my heart, my sadness and joy.

Some days, M thoughts pop into my mind, reminders, memories, places.

Some days I frantically search the internet like a lost soul looking for updates of your life

Stalker vibes hidden away behind a screen

M when I made a decision for a clean break

my heart broke even more than before.

Shattered into pieces in a strange land

far away where no one could see.

There’s been loves after you M.

There’s been joy.

Flickers of hope and possibilities.

But my dear M, they have never been the same.

You remain and you always will,

and it’s ok, I guess M, because it meant it was

Real

True

Love

And I’ll be forever beholden with those seven years with you,

that meant I haven’t lost the experience of being loved and to love immensely

Thank you M.

Forevermore.

1.11.25

united through death

not divided

united through grief

not divided

united through love

not divided

divided through hate

not united

3.8.25

This is not the world in which I want to live.

A world where ones doesn’t strive.

A world where social media and journalist tell more lies.

A world where the powers that be, push their negative narrative until we believe all we see.

We rely and accept the negative narrative played out before our eyes.

If we do rebel, say our piece of mind, stand up to the bullies and the lies.

Then we are told we have no opinion anyway, we must agree to disagree, they say.

The haters.

The right wing dictators.

The experts online who force their narrative our way.

What happened to kindness, we all make mistakes. We learn and move on but

these days we are vilified, the hate keeps pushing.

The agenda is theirs, don’t be mistaken that you are not part of that too

You’ve contributed to the way we live, we all have.

And yet, you allow others to suffer because it’s not you, it’s them.

This is not a world in which I want to live.

3.5.25

Drifting through our solemn life,

shadows fall upon a saddened face.

The dark wind brushes by,

as a tall dark tree falls upon an empty grave.

Below beneath a sodden daisy chain,

lays the remains of someone’s hurt and shame.

20.4.25

Can you not walk pass a mirror without looking at yourself, he says.

Affirmative I reply,

You know I’ve always been obsessed by my hair.

But it’s not just that I say.

He looks perplexed and confused.

What is it that you see?

Well, I check the hair (of course) and then look through the mirror to see the man I want to be.

He stares back at me and says, you alright?

Yes, I say and the hair looks good today.

It’s the other guy, I’m worried about, I add.

There’s a not a word from him.

I continue, you see, that guy, the one that stares at the reflective shadows of who I was and who I’m meant to be.

He’s there looking right back at me.

I pause, give him my best Dorian Gray twinkle of an eye.

One last quick glance and I see him look away from me.

Until next time, he says to me.

15.2.25

Does one decide not to

open up ones heart

Does one open up to the connection,

or do we run.

Open up and potentially fail.

But to have love or give love,

surely isn’t a fail anyways

Do you sit and flourish in the beauty

or does one sit in the shadows of a broken soul,

always.

What if he’s the person.

What if he’s looking for you,

and you are at peace with all of him.

Should we embrace the possibility

come what may.

Or should we retract back into

the safety of solitude

a safe place that we have constructed

to avoid at all cost, pain.

What if when you look into his eyes

he’s willing you to say yes.

What if two lost souls,

find each other.

1.1.25

You’re officially an adult,

always be you, always.

Take joy in everything you do.

Learn from others but mostly yourself.

Reach expectations with wisdom.

Never compromise on what you desire and where you’re heading.

Don’t ever sit in the shadows of others.

Have fun, laugh, cry and laugh some more.

Be kind always to yourself and others.

Live your life fully.

No limits, be proud and humble.

Remember the girl that grew within you.

Jump as far as you can.

Go.

22.12.24

collides

with reality

Run

Pace yourself

Never turn

back

A vision

of reality

sucumbed

to that

of a life

being fulfilled

Today

10.12.24

What if I’ll never love again

What if my time is up

and the last love has left for eternity

What if I never have those feelings again

Those giddy gay days filled

with unexpected tears of joy and happiness

What if the last love was wasted

and age is creeping up on me

What happens if this is it

No more holdings hands

What if I’ll never sleep by someone’s side

And wake up with messy hair

a morning cuddle as sunlight breezes by

What if this is it

The last love been and gone

And left my heart full of emptiness

25.10.24

Un día cualquiera

nos vemos, de verdad.

Nos cruzamos por la calle

no decimos nada.

Nos miramos.

Nos besamos.

Ni una palabra.

No hace falta.

Se acabó.

Fin.

26.9.24

I’ve fallen in love

at least twice this week.

Whether one has noticed

isn’t that significant,

although a mutual admiration

of love has meaning.

There’s a connection of

a look, a laugh or a gentle smile.

But to wonder,

the difference between love and lust.

Surely they manifest upon

the same spectrum of feelings.

Without a doubt

to love in any form

albeit temporarily or not

has heart and mind skipping

a beat.

Love isn’t lost after all,

it may be fleeting

but it’s there all the same.

Oh my beating heart

that rarely stands still anyway.

22.8.24