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you can have this it is real

ibuprofen should grow on bushes like wild berries

if you adopt two dogs who are littermates, they will team up on you to undermine your authority. if you adopt two cats that are littermates, they will constantly try to narc on each other to you

my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc

1 beer in and i start telling people to surrender

my helm is a muzzle that stops me from ripping the neck of someone with my bare fangs

The upside to the adhd forgetting that you made yourself a drink thing is thinking to yourself “man I could go for a drink right now” and looking to your right and seeing a drink has appeared there. Thank you, past me. I lost you somewhere but you have still provided.

Grace not specifying when he says he only has a life span of 70-90 years that ALL humans have that amount of time so Rocky thinks he has some kind of illness that Grace won’t talk about so now he’s on a mission to find out what’s wrong with Grace and cure it