GAY

Bc parentification sucks shit and although for a while you cling onto that need to be in control and be mature, eventually you realise that actually you just wanna be a kid for once

And the Cullens are gonna get this:

Edward died when he was 17, still a child, and during a war

Alice lived in an asylum

Emmett had to look after his younger siblings

Rosalie had the weight of expectation on her

As vampires they can all heal in their shared space, act like kids if they need to, and not only that they have access to parental figures if that's what they need to heal from their lost childhood

I love headcanons about the Cullens including Bella just fucking about and having fun because it's healing

I don't think Bella would stay her "born middle aged" self as a vampire, because there won't be a need to. She can heal. And I love that for her

Like imagine in 15 years, all the Batkids are grown up and have 4 or 5 vigilante kids of their own running around. 30 ‘cousins’ all expirencing their angsty teen years as vigilantes at the same time.

10 of them are named robin, it starts to get very confusing. The original batkids keep forgetting who adopted who.

The new kids start running out of names bc none of them want to break tradition and go as something not bat themed.

For extra chaos, imagine that they all live at Wayne Manor still (bc why give up free housing)

Does the vampires’ hair grow? 

Is this why Alice has the short pixie cut? 

They’re dead, so how would their hair grow??

Are they like barbies where it never grows back if you cut it?

Do the lady vamps have periods or no? Because the specific reason given that Edward was still fertile but like Rosalie couldn’t have a baby was that they’re bodies couldn’t adapt or whatever to have a baby, not that female vamps were sterile. 

WHY DID LITERALLY EVERYONE HAVE BETTER BACKSTORY THAN BELLA AND EDWARD?

And then Steph Meyer decides to write about Bree Tanner??? Instead of Boss Bitch Rosalie? Or our favorite psychic pixie Alice? Or freaking Jasper?????? 

WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE VAMPIRE HAVE QUEER ENERGY????

Bonus:

Tumblr is my life now

Bonus:

When you find out that MCR is back

[Based off of this post]

he controls the elements

one of these elements is fire

which he can both summon and throw (we see this in the campfire scene in Breaking Dawn p2)

what’s a vampire’s biggest weakness?

oh yeah

fucking fire

so why the everloving fuck

does benny not flamegrill the volturi bitches on sight

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME ??

THAT NONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS HAD TO DIE???

In the book, there was no battle. They had a courtroom-like debate. They spent literally pages upon pages just ... discussing the philosophy and potential problems of creating a hybrid like Renesmee, and if that’s a big enough threat to the vampire secrecy, and if any laws were actually broken, or if the laws should be changed, as Renesmee was an outlier.

Then Alice brings another Hybrid with proof that he will stop aging after reaching physical maturity and act similarly to a normal vampire, meaning there is no danger. Eventually the Volturi just... fuck off basically.

But that would make for a SUPER boring movie, and as a kid it was SUPER boring to read. They hype up this whole “we will battle to protect our rights, and our families” and then just chat for a bit and go home. There’s no suspense. So the directors had to add this battle.

Still with me? Okay. Alice gave Aro the vision of battle by holding his hand. Aro’s power means he can read your entire mind, all your memories, by touching you. Alice sees the future. Looking at LITERALLY all of the canon, Alice cannot see the wolves. Or Renesmee. They give her painful headaches, and the future around them and anyone who interacts with them just “disappears”. It’s why she panics when Bella runs off to see her werewolf friend, her future disappears as if she died. It’s why she didn’t see Bella get pulled out of the water after jumping off a cliff. The one who pulled her out was Jacob - A WOLF.

She also can’t really see around Renesmee, which is why Bella’s pregnancy was so hard for Alice. It was like a “hole” in her vision, Bella’s future was so tied up in Renesmee that it obscured Alice’s sight.

So why is it she was able to see, in great detail, a battle where the wolves are interacting with every single person? BECAUSE THE VISION WAS FAKED.

Alice lives with a mind reader. She also is mischievous and likes to keep secrets from him. She has lots of practice deliberately thinking “around” things instead of “about” them. I think while she was gone, Alice devised a way to fool even the most powerful mind reader, and present him with this vision of “this is what will happen if you choose to fight us”. He would be inclined to trust her vision, maybe even overlook anything odd or inconsistent, being that he lusts over Alice’s power and wishes her to be his immortal crystal ball slave.

Now, she could have easily shown him Benjamin destroying them all. But I think there’s a reason she wouldn’t have - Aro likes to “collect” powerful people. If she showed that there was this OP flamethrower able to wipe out entire covens, Aro would hunt Benjamin and his family to the ends of the earth. We already know Ben is on the more low-key side, doesn’t want to be shown off or used or abuse his own powers. The Volturi have been known to falsify crimes in order to wipe out a coven and manipulate the remaining gifted members to join or die, adding them to his arsenal. It would put a target on him and then they really would have to fight.

So she would show something reasonable, not too OP, and an outcome in which Aro loses in a realistic manner. That kinda flatters his ego (Example being Bella pulls off his head with all her newborn strength but still needs Edward’s help). Both sides have great losses. So it’s enough to convince Aro to wait, bide his time. His losses would outweigh the gains, example Benjamin or Alice or Edward.

Steve: SHIELD's got Nazis.

Tony: What?