rootin’ tootin’ and hootin’

I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that

Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D

Pouring cocaine onto a mirror and using a tiny zen garden rake to make decorative soothing swirls in it

so baby hold me closer in the toast slot of your toaster

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

yall r like carbs r unhealthy butter and fat r unhealthy oil is unhealthy fruit is unhealthy bc it has sugar!!!! okay i guess we should all just die then lets lay down and die

Today's high schoolers romanticizing 2016 as if there weren't the clown incidents

This isn't even a shit post that actually happened

the fact that you even had to say it wasn’t a shitpost has aged me significantly

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up

The ideal household has three people in it: one who would rather cook for three than ever have to do laundry or dishes, one who would rather do three peoples' dishes than ever have to cook or do laundry, and one who would rather do three peoples' laundry than ever have to cook or wash dishes.

i highly recommend it as the chef in this exact scenario

algebra is honestly funzies when you know what youre doing it’s like a puzzle that you feel smart for solving. however when you don’t know what you’re doing it becomes a challenge called who can turn into a feral dog and bite things fastest and brother i always win