Dont Blame Me T Swift Made Me Crazy

dont get me wrong i think its great that she loves god i think religion is important to some people and i am glad that those people have it

but you also have to be considerate of others and know of their issues and treat them with respect.

you know im not asking her why she’s black so why is she asking me why i’m gay

here I am posting it because I feel that it’s important to share. this is the story of the first time i was harrassed for being gay.

Let me start by saying that I am a second year teacher continuing in the same team with the same people as last year (+one new teacher). Everyone that was on my team last year knows that I’m gay and is like whatever.

So on Friday we all went out for lunch for some team bonding (some drama went down before this so we wanted to make some new memories and move on). My mentor (let’s call her Carol) mentioned that she hadn’t eaten since like Wednesday and I said that that wasn’t good and then commented that everyone I’ve dated has kinda been like that like they don’t eat a lot of meals and I scarf down every meal like I’ve never eaten before in my life. My other coworker (let’s call her Rachel) then asked if I had gone on any dates over the summer.

Now let me start by saying that this new coworker, let’s call her Terry, has already mentioned that she like LOVES god and that god actually told her to leave her fiance and move to GA. So I went into this year with the game plan of not mentioning that I’m gay. 

So I answered Rachel and said that I had been on a couple dates with the same PERSON and that they went well but I wasn’t sure if it would work because THEY live on the other side of the state. I purposefully MADE SURE to use gender neutral pronouns. BUT THEN Terry says something like ‘oh he just isn’t right’ or whatever and THATS WHEN MY OTHER COWORKER (Melanie) WAS LIKE ‘SHE. SHE ISNT RIGHT’

AND I SWEAR TO YOU ALL RIGHT NOW TERRY’S FACE IN THAT MOMENT

LORD I KNEW RIGHT THEN SHE HAD NEVER MET A GAY PERSON

She kinda did this double take and asked Melanie to repeat herself. Terry was a little dumbfounded. To the point where Carol was snickering and saying that was the best reaction on the team. And I’ll admit it was pretty funny.... UNTIL the questions came.

Now I’ve always thought of myself as someone who would let another person if they were being offensive or would correct someone if they assumed incorrectly. Welp apparently I’m not because let me tell you, the things that came out of Terry’s mouth were SO OFFENSIVE. Let’s break this down.

First of all, she liked leaned over the table and seemed so curious to know every detail of my life - to the point where I kinda felt like a lab rat being studied. 

Let me just list her questions/comments and responses because they were pretty - well - you can decide for yourself what they are.... (I’m gonna use the initials of each member of my team to denote who’s speaking [I am K in this situation if you don’t know that that’s my first initial]).

T: you don’t look gay

R: *cackling at the absurdity*

K: ah man i forgot to wear my rainbow cape again

(im pretty fucking proud of that one)

T: can i ask, what made you gay?

K: ????? men are gross ?????

T: are you the man or the woman?

K: *head explodes* i feel like im soildly in the middle, like i really like more feminine things blah blah blah but i also really like more tradionally masculine things blah blah blah

(she was surprised that i seemed to like anything on either side of the traditional gender spectrum [which let me also say my head was also exploding because gender is a social construct so i was offended on SO MANY levels by that one])

AND THEN here’s the real whammy because the last thing she asked me was:

T: what do you think of Brad Pitt? Because I think he’s hot. Don’t you think he’s hot?

K: *trying not to die* he looks like every other man on the street  -__-

so obviously this was the most awkward conversation of my life. and also was REALLY loud. she was not quiet in her questions like I could see the county school repair men sitting in a booth diagonal from where I was sitting and they just kept looking at me because they knew what we were talking about and they knew we were talking about me. It was just very awkward and very embarrassing.

I guess the whole point of me telling this story is to kinda inform people you know like if you also identify as anywhere on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum please don’t make the same mistake as me... please god correct them or let them know they’re being offensive. I keep telling myself that the reason I didn’t is beacuse we were at a work lunch and it wasn’t appropriate but honestly it doesnt matter. if someone is being offensive let them know! I didn’t correct her and now she may go and ask/say the same stuff to someone else because i didn’t correct her ignorance. i enabled her to be ignorant and that is not okay.

also on the flip side if you do not identify on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum PLEASE DO NOT SAY THESE THINGS. they are so harmful and rude and i just felt so annoyed and looked down at. yes i laughed about it with my friends later and yes i am laughing about it now but honestly over the past 24 hours I have felt every other emotion in between to the point where i almost considered reporting her for discrimination. if you think that something you wanna say might be taken the wrong way don’t say it. and educate yourself. please god educate yourself. don’t keep your nose stuck in a book and ignore what is going around you socially in the world.