hi same person from earlier who also made this anon post, so this is gonna be a long yap session and you don't have to respond if you don't want to but we feel the need to over the fact this might be very insightful for us. Putting it under cut also because as we've said, long post. Sorry about that, we've wanted to talk about this for long but haven't had anyone mention it.
Okay so starting off....we've considered that before actually and we've been very curious about it but also we're the type of guy to be very nervous when identifying with anything in case of realizing we were wrong.
Anyways, we're just gonna go through things we've had happen and experienced and went hmmm maybe but then brushed it off.
-Jeff started out as a kin then sort of developed his own voice though its usually a default one we have, we have maladaptive daydreaming which we will mention late, and we noticed he started to sort of be his own being when we were making a hoodie that was bloody and dirty like his because kin stuff. Now he's gone but once in a while he appears randomly like recently last year we were forced to go to church, not fun btw, and we were kinshifted as him for some reason the whole time but also felt like he was sort of a seperate being and we were kinda standing next to him the whole time. We also felt we ourself was just uncomfortable but he was completely upset and angry.
-sometimes we'd make ocs and they'd pop up and we just attributed it to maladaptive daydreaming but they felt a bit like other people but again we brushed it off because to be honest anyone who pops up we, 1. Attrribute to maladaptive daydreaming 2. Never hang around for long and 3. If we were to describe how they feel as their own person they feel very very muddy like they are they're own person but are also a large part of us still.
-we originally made ocs about 2 years ago (first time we had beings that felt like people btw Edit: i was wrong now that im thinking back to being a kid) to assign to our emotions to cope as we have very very sensitive emotions, and issues with violent thoughts/getting angry easily same with sadness, and they greatly helped and they sort of became their own people too before disappearing randomly. But whenever we gained a new kin the kin would get assigned a emotion and we felt like them whenever we felt said emotion but also again standing next to them randomly.
-random 2 side notes. 1- we maybe sort of feel like just a husk whenever we aren't kinshifted. Like we're only a little bit of a person. Does this happen to anyone else and does anyone else just get extremely depressed when this happens? We've noticed we've been like this majority of our life and are very sad whenever it happens. 2- does anyone else's kins dissappear when the character themself, if I am plural, dissapears? That has happened. A lot. We've discovered we do not like that.
-as a little child we'd have a extreme imagination, again maladaptive daydreaming, and sometimes if we think back on it now from what we can remember, because we don't remember much from then, those characters also had their own voices and we could mildly visualize them and it felt like we were talking to them but also extreme imagination so we can't tell.
-there was one time we had many but now they're all gone and it's only when we kinshift now and it makes us feel very alone and incredibly aware of the world we are in rather than somewhere else, we don't know where else we'd be thinking about though as it isn't like what we describe below when we say this?, and it makes us upset once in a while. We feel empty. But maybe that's alsp derealixatiom or something. I can't discern anything from anything else mentally really it's rather hard for me. It all muddles together in our brain.
-sometimes our kins just appear in our brain after we want them there and it makes us more nervous to identify as that because it feels as though we are willing them to be there.
-adressing the maladaptive daydreaming note we left earlier, it is also another reason we cannot tell if we are plural or not because we imagine very in depth to the point we see the place we are imagining rather than the actual place we are in. We also can hear the voices of the characters as well when we are deep into daydreaming. It just makes it hard for us to discern this from anything else if that makes sense?
Sorry for the long post we just needed to mention all this.
Oh as a little last note there's one post we have on here, if we didn't delete it, where it felt like both alt archangel gabriel and Jeff were existing side by side as people and we typed as alt gabriel. If it says anything we have a whole tumbler side account for Jeff but it hadn't been really active at all due to him not being here as a kin lately. Sort of back though now. Maybe. Unsure.
Again apologies for the long post. You don't need to respond if you don't want to.
