HA HA Y3S H3AR MY PROPH3CY

W3 DON’T. W3 HAV3 NON3 WHATSO3V3R B3YOND B3ING BUSIN3SS ASSOCIAT3S. AND FRANK L33 I’D RATH3R K33P IT THAT WAY.

Sure. Whatever.

AH Y3S. I S33 BUT ON3 M3SSAG3. TH3 FAT3S SCR3AM IT WITH ALL TH3IR STR3NGTH.

QUIT. WHIL3. YOU’R3. AH3AD.

I R3P3AT, QUIT WHIL3 YOU’R3 AH3AD.

W3 DON’T. W3 HAV3 NON3 WHATSO3V3R B3YOND B3ING BUSIN3SS ASSOCIAT3S. AND FRANK L33 I’D RATH3R K33P IT THAT WAY.

Sure. Whatever.

AH Y3S. I S33 BUT ON3 M3SSAG3. TH3 FAT3S SCR3AM IT WITH ALL TH3IR STR3NGTH.

QUIT. WHIL3. YOU’R3. AH3AD.

W3 DON’T. W3 HAV3 NON3 WHATSO3V3R B3YOND B3ING BUSIN3SS ASSOCIAT3S. AND FRANK L33 I’D RATH3R K33P IT THAT WAY.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Oh, what ever could you be talking about?

Hmm. You think you're clever, aren't you? Sidestepping one pitfall just to swan dive right into another.

[The doctor draws a laser gun, but doesn't ready it to fire yet.]

And the price of this weapon of some harm? Well, it'll cost ya.

Something big. Something that's essential. Something important.

Eh, you've tried ineffectively long enough. Let me skip to the next step.

BEHOLD, MY POWER! I AM THE DIVINE WIELDER OF THE DEMICOLON!

[Suddenly, some doors are kicked open.]

YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE SCAR IF YOU TALK ABOUT HOW COOL IT LOOKS!

Oh, doctor. You're here.

Oh, you bet I am, and-

[The doc looks to the wall next to them. It's a wall.]

Ugh, he's late. Never mind, just me! To kill you! To death! And- why do I have the differentiation? Shouldn't you-

THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I'M DOING THIS!

[The professor uses demicolon magic or whatever to force the laser blaster out of the doc's hand.]

The main goal is complete domination of my world and this one, and also to stop YOU from getting in the way! You inferior. double.

Inferior double? No, that's my Percentlings, but I hit the emergency wipeout. As you know, that means I'm operating at peak efficiency! Such as actually coming here with a plan.

[The doc looks to the wall next to them. Still a wall.]

{Shoot the other percentile's scar}

Oh, sure, do my job for me. I'll be sure to have a congratulatory 24/7 deep-sea waterboarding prepared for you after.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT HOW DID I NOT REALIZE YOU STOLE THE GREAT TREASURE OF DEMICOLANTIS SOONER!?

{Clik! Clik! Clik!}

Right, how'd you do that again? Please explain in detail.

Y3AH, WHAT IF SOM3 PRICK FINDS WH3R3 YOU W3R3 HIDING TH3 DAMN THING AND TH3N

[He pulls out a hammer]

DID THIS?

NO!

[She brings Oracl3 to the ground, right before his hammer would've made contact.]

[The doc glances at the Sheriff, and then gestures towards the professor with their eyes.]

{Now that sheriff's reloaded, have a shot to the demicolon}

[The Demicolon explodes. you are effectively flashbanged.]

MY EYE! IT GOT MY EYE!

[When your vision reclears, the Demicolon is floating, everyone is back on their feet or hovering torso, and the Professor is covering her upper left eye. There's also a small circle-ish cut below her lower right eye...]

I... I can hear it speaking. It's going to- okay. yes. okay. I have to go visit a long dead civilization and give them the body of their god back, and then repent for an indeterminate amount of time. And then repair all the walls we broke while we were down there. Bye.

[The Demicolon drops into the Professor's hands. She walks out the door, but not before muttering a "I'll get you next time." to the Doc.]

F33LS GR3AT WH3N TH3 GIMMICK ACTUALLY MATT3RS! ANYWAY, BY3 B3STI3!

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Oh, what ever could you be talking about?

Hmm. You think you're clever, aren't you? Sidestepping one pitfall just to swan dive right into another.

[The doctor draws a laser gun, but doesn't ready it to fire yet.]

And the price of this weapon of some harm? Well, it'll cost ya.

Something big. Something that's essential. Something important.

Eh, you've tried ineffectively long enough. Let me skip to the next step.

BEHOLD, MY POWER! I AM THE DIVINE WIELDER OF THE DEMICOLON!

[Suddenly, some doors are kicked open.]

YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE SCAR IF YOU TALK ABOUT HOW COOL IT LOOKS!

Oh, doctor. You're here.

Oh, you bet I am, and-

[The doc looks to the wall next to them. It's a wall.]

Ugh, he's late. Never mind, just me! To kill you! To death! And- why do I have the differentiation? Shouldn't you-

THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I'M DOING THIS!

[The professor uses demicolon magic or whatever to force the laser blaster out of the doc's hand.]

The main goal is complete domination of my world and this one, and also to stop YOU from getting in the way! You inferior. double.

Inferior double? No, that's my Percentlings, but I hit the emergency wipeout. As you know, that means I'm operating at peak efficiency! Such as actually coming here with a plan.

[The doc looks to the wall next to them. Still a wall.]

{Shoot the other percentile's scar}

Oh, sure, do my job for me. I'll be sure to have a congratulatory 24/7 deep-sea waterboarding prepared for you after.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT HOW DID I NOT REALIZE YOU STOLE THE GREAT TREASURE OF DEMICOLANTIS SOONER!?

{Clik! Clik! Clik!}

Right, how'd you do that again? Please explain in detail.

Y3AH, WHAT IF SOM3 PRICK FINDS WH3R3 YOU W3R3 HIDING TH3 DAMN THING AND TH3N

[He pulls out a hammer]

DID THIS?

[Suddenly, Oracl3 sees a familiar face.]

[Oracl3 drags Percentile around until they meet back up with Jane]

HI JAN3 THIS IS DOCTOR P3RC3NTIL3 MY B3ST FRI3ND

[A sinister smirk slowly grows across the doctor(?)'s face as they fumble with a device in their back pocket.]

Bad.

[The line is delivered all too eagerly.]

[Suddenly, Oracl3 sees a familiar face.]

[Oracl3 drags Percentile around until they meet back up with Jane]

HI JAN3 THIS IS DOCTOR P3RC3NTIL3 MY B3ST FRI3ND

[Suddenly, Oracl3 sees a familiar face.]

[Suddenly, Oracl3 sees a familiar face.]