Texts From Starling City

(1-608): her booty call wants to take you to dinner?

(315): My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.

(954): I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.

(813): Please come pick up your twin. She’s tap dancing in her underwear and that’s now how you want yourself represented.

(251): Genius. It was sheer genius.

(1-306): You high??

(1-703): Every day of my life.

(254): I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.

So expect a few new posts in the coming days. Maybe more? Who knows. Hopefully there’s still someone out there who cares about these silly things.

(239): On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?

(915): Just kidding.  Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.

(240): I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.

(781): i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage

(478): wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

(609): it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores

(678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count